in the wonders of my mindš.
hey there :D hm. last time I checked you didnāt look like meš§makes sense doesnāt itšsince there can only be one *me*āØone of a kind now arent Iš/sar. one out of 8118835999āØš·can you imagine :0 o right- you can- becoss youāre also one of a kindš sorrysorry haha :Pš¤im just messing around xDšalso itās 2am- but shush no snitchingš¤«Iāll sleep in a whilešwhen Iām feeling a bit more sane :>šš©·
wanted to have my own space.š for thoughts feelings vents or just anything on my mind.š
to whoever'sĀ coming acrossĀ :'3šplease dont lurk here.š©· I know anyone can have access to this forumĀ :')šbut please be respectfulš©·.(but honestly..I know someone will either way :Pš yāall get crazy nosy haha- itās alright.šnothing too interesting will be here anywayšif you would like to come in and be supportive itās completely okiešbut please donāt make it a regular or "normal" thing if that makes sense. just have a sort of limitšbecause Iād still like this to be just my space ^-^š)
I complimented one of their makeupšand I kept telling that specific girl all the time- no I keep telling her that sheās so pretty and that sheās literally gorgeous- and when sheād go on about her perfect bf Iād just compliment her the whole time all like yeah ofc like literally you can get any guy you want- and then she asked me if I had a bf and I said no I wasnāt as perfect as her and that everyone should be so jealous and all that- then another time she talked about this drama with another girl and I told her she was just jealous cos I mean look at you she literally just wants to be you and canāt get over her own insecurities- on random days I complimented her hair and makeup and some things sheād bring to school-Ā
id really never just blurt out infront of her friends "why do you wear so much make up- are you like insecure??" :ā) Iām literally scared of her with her friends and itās so obvious that sheās not a victim-
i donāt compliment her because weāre friends. sheās obsessed with herself and it makes her go crazy happy :ā) as much as I hate her for hurting so many people I like seeing her happy.Ā
I didnāt even report her because Iām not even like that.Ā
Idk. I just feel like I didnāt really do anything and now they target me even more.
they just kept staring at us-
which- really- I donāt care-..
the girl said if they ask weāll just tell them I was explaining why I was pulled out. Itās not like I said anything bad.
we already decided if they do anything after the head of year gave that speech weāre just reporting it.
Iām so done like itās such unnecessary drama. and those 2 girls lied to me about the fact that main girl in the group was planning to apologize and that they were already friends and talked the day before and all that. I hate being used as like someone that heard this and that itās not funny because I genuinely thought they were just gonna stop.
@iloveyouxx Life is hard enough without outside people causing drama and making things worse than they need to be
@mytwistedsoul
so true. :(Ā
because I knew what my friend was reporting about and thatās the only reason they wanted to talk to me.
they wanted to know because they knew it was about the main girl in that group so they wanted to tell her to apologize before the girl finds out and makes the drama worse.
and it was a lie.
I didnāt tell them anything either way tho. I just said apparently sum group confronted her about sum stuff she never did. I didnāt say I knew it was them or anything like that.
oya I forgot :0 I canāt find the convo tho-
that was the last of 20 slides but helpšš-
how did I forget-
@mytwistedsoul
@iloveyouxx Aww that's ok I'm actually pretty forgettable tbh lol
@mytwistedsoul
forgettable xD wait it didnāt put the red line thing- thatās actually a wordšš©·I thought itād be forgetful but I guess that works too xDš
me too tho my memory is so horrible TvTš
the gif is so adorableš„ŗš¤š
@iloveyouxx Yep it'sĀ word! Do people get upset because you forget things? Aww glad you like it - I haven't see that one before today
@mytwistedsoul
im sorry :0šI didnāt mean to poof for so longšbeing so popular can get overwhelming :D:š/j/j/j/j/j/j/sar/sar/sar-š¤
mm idk. I hav no one to forget things about irl xD Iām almost mute irl. unless yu talk to me and Iām forced to talk to yuš©·I donāt forget names I think- I only forget sum when I- really deperately need to know them xDšI forget things thu like what day it is and soul. every. single. time. I check the timeševery single time. I forget it in literally a secondšand then I check again and Iām like ohh yeah yeah yeah. and then Iām like wait what- and I swear I canāt remember itš
and I forget classes. omg and soul yk we have this really specific schedule and yu have to look at it and for example itād show yu have "Science G018" and g018 is where itās meant to be- g is ground floor f first s second and t is third floor- thatās a ton more staircases than it should be- and the numbers arenāt even in order and every single thursday last 2 lessons I have math and history- idk in which order but- every single time I mix them upšI just mainly forget the really really important things other than those :Pš¤what about yuš?
btw friend I never asked :0 and I donāt want to say anything wrong or anything and completely nfta but can I ask what yur pronouns areš?/nfta
omggeeeeeš„ŗš„ŗš„ŗš„ŗš„ŗššššššššš©·šš©·ššššššš©·ššššI cannotššššš„ŗššššššš©·š
@iloveyouxxĀ Aww no worries š It get's kind of hectic trying to stay on top of things if there's a bunch of things going on here. And there's never a time line or time limit to reply
Tbh - this is pretty much the only place I socialize. I keep to myself most of the time - I don't have friends in real life. Anxiety makes me awkward and depression gives me no desire to even try anymore
I do that with the time too tbh I try to keep track of it too and i still loose track of it lol which is almost funny now that I think about it š Tbh I forget alot of things. I can walk into a room and forget what I walked in for. I can forget what I'm saying while I'm saying it - which really screws up conversations with people because I feel stupid when that happens. Sometimes I forget where I'm going while I'm going there - that's always fun. I seem to be good at forgetting the good things but I always remember the bad things
Wow they have you running all over the place for classes! That would be so stressful too - maybe that's why you mix the them up and can't remember which one is first?
You don't have to worry about what you ask - If it's something I don't want to answer I just politely ignore it š I don't freak out or anything. I think you might be the first person who's ever asked me my pronounsĀ š¤ I guess they're he/they
Omgosh they're so cute! That first one just wants to be held š
@mytwistedsoul
omg soul :0šhavenāt yu heard about the š emoji backstory :0/lhši mean TvTš¤itās okie when sum innocent clueless genuinely nice and with good intention hoomans use it butšyu cant tell me it doesnāt look creepyā¦.."š"ššššššššššš/lh
thankyu for being so understandingš I love yu friend <3./p
>:šthat sounds really sad >:ššanxiety and depression are honestly so just the worst.šitās okay if socializing feels daunting right now. or like a whole task.šIām not gonna tell you to try and take small steps or any of thatĀ :')š©·because I know itās not that simple.šI know it can feel isolatingšngl sum people arenāt really worth the energy huh xDš©·no socializing=no hurt is probably a bad mindset I need to get out of xDšyour effort is commendable even if it doesnāt feel that wayš©·I relate to the anxiety thing way too muchĀ :')š¤way too much T^Tš¤I think I just broke my calculator-
omigod I relate too muchšhowāre yu so relatable- thatās literally mešI also relate to forgetting the good things and always remembering the bad things >:šit can really mess up yur mind Iām so sorryš
I think my dad heard the calculator smashing to the floor-
yeahšI have to remember really really well- I think I can tell yu what I have on sumdays without looking :0š©·I cant even look my schedule isnāt here-š©·mm okie Monday I have english, arabic, science, dance,ā¦.uhhh wait-ā¦ā¦o yeah! history, math,(it was monday not thursday omg-) tuesday I have arabic, islamic, moral ed, science, art, pe- pretty simple so far- wednesday I haveā¦..um wait-ā¦.wednesdayā¦shsjhiuwhā¦ā¦o yeah :0š¤wednesday I have english, music, math, pe, French, arabic. thrusday I have :Pšhistory, IT, english, science, math French, and fridays a half day so I just have english, math, pe, science :Pš¤I just mix them up sumtimes and ofc I know them all on a saturday like whatā ļø
english math moral ed arabic islamic french are on second floor history IT geography pe are on first floor drama music dance are on third floor science is on ground floor- what-
what really :0 su many cups hoomans have asked what my pronouns were :0šoo :0šhonestly.-š¤i just went on chatgpt and asked what that meant- I never want to ask the persun becos idk it feels disrespectful or rude becos i barely know anything about genders T^TšI just know..she/her he/him TvTš©·and likeā¦yeah no nvm TvTšcan I ask what that means Iām sorryšš©·chatgpt isnāt helping much-š
Omgosh they're so cute! That first one just wants to be held š
Ikrrš„ŗš„ŗštheyre so preciousšššš¾šstupidly cutu tiny lil fur ball babiesš„ŗšššššš¾š
@iloveyouxx
that's so cute šĀ
@LoveMyMoonflowers
sum random screenshots from it tooššš©·I literally stood there for so long reading a ton of things like this TvTšĀ :'Pšš
@iloveyouxx
i canāt upvote because iāve run out of hearts (fr this time :/) but i think those are pretty lovely šĀ
@LoveMyMoonflowers
me too >:š©·thankyuš<3 I was a teeeniie tiny weenie lil bit too confident ;-;š¤but I guess it did go well lolššand I was the teachers favorite soāØš/lh
@iloveyouxx
awww š were they a nice teacher? š (those areā¦ umā¦ rare š lol)Ā
@LoveMyMoonflowers
lmao fr ***^Tši just assume theyāre so cruel becos they never even wanted to be a teacher or changed their mind in the process or sumthing becos why would yu even become a teacher in the first place..TvTš
they were nice thoš©·idk how. they had meanie moments but..okie honestly. my class just stole the life from this teacherā¦T^Tšshe was and is so nice but my class was so brutal and evil and wbaughiššpoor teacherā¦.i guess it makes sense that I was the favorite :PāØāØš/j/j/j/j
ugh ew that againš
I wroteĀ
"tho T^T"* but with no space- I made the same mistake before and it censored and I didnāt know what it meant su I let my curiosity win and searched it up TvTš¤ā¦
@iloveyouxx
i just did the same thing š i didnāt know what it meant š but now š my curiosity šĀ
@iloveyouxx
yeah :/ idk why people who donāt love teaching/donāt love kids become teachers because thatās what theyāre going to be doing for years and years, and theyāre more likely to do well in something they love doing/something theyāre passionate about. but n o p e āØ good teachers are rare :( also i realised nothing i said made sense :) šĀ
awww. š the students sound meanie mcbeanie too tbh :( teachers can bully students but i guess it can be the other way around too š i can see why this nice teacher had you as her favourite š /genĀ
*sends lots of love your way* šĀ
@LoveMyMoonflowers
what nuu that made so much sense :0šespecially becos like all yu have to do to become a teacherĀ :')šitās so much but they still choose itšš©·good teachers being 1/200 :PPš©·
āØ*~scrolling back up and placing a tw here~*āØ
:0 meanie mcbeanieāØš„ŗš trueššdo yu ever wannaā¦*deletes bullies*-TvTš©·okieokie nu but the ones I know and not specifically to me are so heartless and just pure evilĀ :') idk how they do it. I know I just cant tho.š¤sumone told their story about how they used to bully this kid in school and it turned into a ton of videos. they basically had a tough homelife and all that- sad. valid- but driving an autistic kind undeserving sweet innocent kid to suicideĀ :') watching their smile fade away every single day. realizing theyāre broken and finding joy in that. literally their wordsĀ :') the smile fading away the broken thing the severe pain they put them through- they humiliated embarrassed harassed threatened them and just hurt them the way they thought would..hurt them the most. they sent them like messages being all like if you tell anyone what Iām doing Iāll (off) your family and just a ton of other threats. they just watched them become a soulless body because of them. and even in the beginning of the story they said the reason they chose them as a victim was because they were always really kind and sweet and a genuinely good person, and thatās what made them an easy targetĀ :') idk. Iām sorry I got carried away. I feel bad about the homelife or whatever but the whole story just really hurt my heart. I donāt get people like these. I really donāt get them.š©·
lol fun fact about the teacher friend yu know her birthday is on leap year :0š©·her existence so special and rare hehešššand yus idk I suck at every subject and she knew that as my lead teacher :Pšbut god she kept picking me in like every celebration assembly for the lead class awardššand thatās nice butšyou had to walk like a red carpet and take a picture with the head of year infront of like 600+ people- ;-;- so I always asked them to remove my slide from the board and Iād just take the certificate anywayšshe still smiles at me sumtimes and I see her teeniekids sumtimes and theyre so sweet like herš
I love you.š©·sending it back :Pš©·sent loaf just goes right through me- save sum loaf for yurselfš„ŗšš
@iloveyouxx
āØ ni is late, two days late, my new middle name isā¦ super duper uber duber late āØ (gosh that was so weird and didnāt make sense š)Ā
better late than never :') i am finally here. šĀ
exactly :( thereās a lot of training and stuff but now iām wondering if those bad teachers actually paid attention during the training lmao? or idkā¦ maybe they chose to be a teacher and halfway through studying to become one they thought they donāt wanna do it anymore by thenā¦ too lateā¦ soā¦ or maybe thatās how it is with some people and itās different with others. idk. everyone's situation/story would be unique i suppose š i just wish teachers cared and realised that their roles in kids' lives are more important than they think they are.Ā
nadia reading that was justā¦ idk what to say, im so sorry. you donāt understand them because you have a heart, you donāt understand why they would be so sadistic and enjoy the suffering of another - because your the exact opposite of those bullies. š iām v sorry you go to a school where these kinds of people/bullies are in abundance :/ it really sucks. it just hurts. tw/mention of death - reading about how that kid got bulliedā¦ literally to the point of deathā¦ :') they must have felt so alone and hurt. bullying is not okay andā¦ even though, ik it hurts in that school and people arenāt nice to you at all and thatās an understatementā¦ :/ iām glad, that at least thereās you - who has a heart and sees the beauty in people and sees that bullying is wrong and horrible and just downright disgusting. the fact that those bullies took delight in hurting that kid is soā¦ disgusting. tw/mention of murder - thatās pretty much murder which makes those bulliesā¦ mmmm. :') :') iām so sorry *big hugs* ik on top of everything you must be going through, it hurts your heart to see other people around you getting hurt too. š
awww! š thatās actually so cool. š your description of her makes me like her too now š„ŗ *sends lots of love to her and the little teeniekids* š
awww :( *sending some more love your way* iāll try to save some for myself, itās hard though. please try to save some for yourself to nadia bean š love you lovely hooman š
I should probably start giving more code names-
the girl Iām friendsish with and that got death threatened and has a ton of rumors about her (>:) Iām gonna call her S
therere like 7 girls in this group now so bare with me.
1 L*
2 L
3 J
4 Y
5 J*
6 a*
7 f
8 o
9 A
10 b
there were more that Iāll remember in a second- o and yeah itās more than 7-
and yeah- I just wrote out their names and kept the first letter-