in the wonders of my mind💗.

_{idk. the speech was honestly kinda sad. and then our lead teacher said we know she’s having a baby and that she might not be our lead teacher next year and that it’s really heartbreaking for her to see all this happening when it might be her last half term with us.}

_{It was so sad :’) and also what the hoy said about how there’s already so much hate and hurt out in the world and we can’t be adding on to it. they found it funny but whatever.}

_{they really aren’t worth it tho.}

_{me and the girl went in this art room yesterday at the second half of lunch and there were a bunch of year 13s playing that game where you try to keep the balloon off the ground-}

_{it was a bit funny how they were so dedicated and passionate about keeping it off the floor like :’) I like remembering things like that.}

_{and this other senior was talking about sumthing that made us laugh.}

_{right before I go to sleep there’s always such a realistic vision or kinda. video- that plays in my mind and it always feels so real.} 

_{theyre coming back. I’m gonna go.}

_{going down to nurse.}

_{..they wouldn’t let me go home because my dad wouldn’t pick up.}

_{im so tired. I don’t wanna say anything.} 

_{anything I say. wont be great. and every time someone asks I just cry so ***.(me-)}

_{im so tired.}

10/26. 4/12. 

please. I can’t. 

I hope the drama gets so bad they actually jump me so I get so severely injured that I’m in a co.ma for the rest of my life.

see? no crisis ***. it’s just a coma. 

slee.ping forever and dying aren’t the same. 

I swear I hope I di.e.

i hope I d.ie.

today I just. I didn’t "attempt". don’t assume it. 

I just walked far past that security guy and waited for the cars so I could start walking. 

there were a couple of those white ish buses and one black car.

i was tired. no big deal. I just made my steps smaller. taking my time. 

don’t rush. it’s not huge.

and some. I think he was an english teacher. pulled me out the way. 

like are you insane? *** manic like bro if I die it’s my fault.-

……

I hope I d.ie.

i hope someone just. gets r.id of me for everyone.

i really 

really

wanna

di.e.

do everyone a favor.

you were born to di.e. 

it’s pain to pain ofcourse you’re hurting. 

you literally don’t matter. 

like actually. 

not just self hate. 

you don’t matter.

youre nothing to no one no one cares.

actually no one cares.

stop trying. 

it wont even matter later on.

you can’t change someone for the better. no one cares about that.

if you wanna d.ie go ahead. literally everyone wants you de.ad but theyre not gonna ki.ll you. so go ahead. It’s really not that hard when you think about it. you love making everyone happy go ahead and make them happy.

just. di.e.

@iloveyouxx

*hugs if okay* no nadsies these are meanie thoughts that your brainie wants you to believe. :( 

@LoveMyMoonflowers

awe. :')💜hugs are okay.💗but i think yur wrong :')💕or maybe my brainie is just really smart and aware :P💙these are the truest things I’ve said hehe🩷I’m not gonna lie to myself :')💜honestly I don’t like it when people do that. saying things to yurself thatre obviously not true.🤍you can’t deny :'P💕thankyu💓💖I luv yu🩷

@iloveyouxx

it's because you are a colourful hooman bean who can’t really see the colour in herself right now. 💜 

@iloveyouxx

:( tbh i think it understandable that you’d believe otherwise. after years and years and years of being hurt, at school, at home, even online (including on cups which includes ni friend hurting you also) you start to believe you deserve it and you start to believe people want you… mmmmm. unalive :( but it not true. you don’t deserve the hurt and idk what exactly happens at school but i know it’s not good 😔 ik people don’t treat you kindly there :( what happens there it not your fault and even though you been going through it for so so long that doesn’t mean you deserve it :') :') :') and nadsies you don’t deserve what happens at home either :( 

it’s hard to learn to love yourself and it’s hard to accept that you are lovable and that there are people who actually love you and care about you. after everything you been through nadsies tbh i think your brainie has completely convinced you that no one cares about you and that people want you… mmmm. 😔 ik you probably won’t believe me and even if other people might say it you won’t believe it :( but me thinks you are lovable and you are cared about 💜 

(no pressure to reply, im so sorry i took so long to reply) 

_{dads back.}

_{I’m just gonna. go do math homework.}

_{xD still the most I’ve ever gotten xD🐛🐛🐛🐛💓💖💗🩷💕💕🩷💖🩷💖🩷💖💕💓🩷}

_{i luv my frends🩷 coughcoug-evasoulni-cough-/j/j/j💜}

@iloveyouxx

math homework is so ew :( also i’ve run out of hearts again ugh 😭 why 7cups just why 

dude nvm, cups is being weird and glitching? like it literally looked like i ran out of hearts and after i post that my upvote shows up? um okay - cups. 

@LoveMyMoonflowers

aaynabbwngabahaajjajajjjjjehsjwnajajw cups w7wjwjoss smhhhhhhh- it gets so confusing😭

math homework really is ew >:🤍it’s so hard too T^T💙I finished the 90 question one but every wednesday we get math hw so right after I finished that we got like a 60 qs one TvT💜and we have pt tests and our end on year grades depend on sum other tests and the pt test and I got a 10/26 in one of them so I need to do really good in the pt😭yeah I’m not making it to year9✨🩷

   🪂

✨🕳️✨-

@iloveyouxx

it really does. one day i was like *smh cups* the entire time i was cupsing that day because the site was just being weird in so many different ways lmao. 

jesus christ that is too much homework. 60 questions - *math* questions - is already very bad :/ but 90 questions? yeah no that’s not fun :/ 

for me i was actually good at math for a few years until i got to year 9 math. and now it’s just hard and it just sucks 

i still haven’t finished today's math homework D: D: D: 

@LoveMyMoonflowers

*smh*

😭😭😭😭not fun😭😭lol what do you mean I love it😭😭😭😭😭🩷I kinda- strongly dislike :D💜my math teacher :D🩷

huh how TvT🤍I’ve always sucked at math🐛🐛🐛🐛✨💜I was just good at everything in late primary but ni😭💙I needa tell yu a story I just remembered😭💜

su. this was year1 right😭I remember that it was year1 becos of the teachers there🩷su this was a completely other school and there we had the same teacher and substitute teacher for every single subject right :P🩷so we were taking really simple math and idk how this came up but- I remember this so well idk why-💜it was a math test and we were taking really really simple math and one question musta said "work out: 0+1" becos at the time we were still learning what the numbers even were-

the seating plan was basically- like tables making the shape of a half square around the class-? idk. and our teachers were there becos at the time questions during a test were allowed. and I remember raising my hand for every single one of them :D every single one :D and basically I got to that "work out: 0+1"😭and the sub teacher basically repeated it to me literally- and I asked what 0 was- and ni :’)💜the way she almost lost it-😭I feel so bad what-😭like she put her hands on her hair and she was like its zero but she was yelling :D I wasn’t scared or anything I was such a dumb child😭and the teacher was calming the sub teacher down and at this point they were just telling me the answers cos they got sick of me-

……..

im too smartttt :D🧠🫠🩷

D: D: D: alsu can I ask what year9 math is like TvT💙my brothers in year10 and it’s so hard for him and he’s having mock exams soon D:💜

ni..if yu need anything in math :D🩷I’m the persun to ask okay?😎😛💕

@iloveyouxx

i actually take forever to reply to things :( *ugh ni why just why* 😭 

i’m homeschooled so i have a math teacher and don’t at the same time? lol that doesn’t make sense :P it’s more like… i have pre-recorded lessons that i watch online - so i kinda have a video tutor - and then i have to do the homework and assignments and read my textbooks. but my video tutors for math in 4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade and 7th grade (years 5, 6, 7 and 8) were pretty good. so idk i think because they explained things so well i could wrap my brain around math. even when i didn’t pay attention much sometimes and i was just distracted lmao, i could wrap my brain around the math (*most of the time* - so - there were times that didn’t fit into that *most of the time* :D) 

yay story time with nadia 💜 and i’m sorry i literally ranted way too much about my schoolybobs life and math 😭 i’m so sorry 😭 

idk why that made me laugh but it was cute and precious somehow at the same time 🥺 i don’t think your teacher yelling at you was right though friend :( i mean, it’s year 1, these are little teeny tiny kids your talking about. i don’t think you were dumb 💜 academics doesn’t necessarily determine/define intelligence. 💜 it’s okay 💜 and you were little too, when i was little i had such i hard time writing the number 8. i would just put two circles on top of each other because i was a literal genius 😎✨ /lh and /jk lol i’m not a genius :P 

um - tbh i think she should have a been a little more patient with you. you. were. a. freaking. child. she could have said “zero is the number before one” and if you asked what one was, she could have taken some time to explain things because 1) it’s year 1 and you said you all were still learning the numbers at the time and 2) asking questions/getting questions answered were allowed 💜 sometimes i feel like there are so many teachers out there who don’t even love kids, or teens, or whoever they’re teaching 💜 and they don’t even love teaching. :') :') i wish there were more patient, understanding teachers 💜 i don’t think you were or are dumb at all friend. these teachers, and other kids, and just… people… have made you feel that way and after so many years of it all, the thought has kinda solidified in your mind :( or… maybe what i said didn’t make any sense and i misunderstood you. if i did - i’m very sorry 💜 *big hugs for you if okay* 

um - i’m not sure how to describe it :P it’s hard for me 😅 my curriculum might be different from yours but for me year 9 math includes a lot of basic algebra :( some basic geometry and idk… ✨ math ✨ i’m not good at explaining things in general, but i’m even worse when it comes to trying to explain math-related stuff 😭😅 the curriculum my parents have chosen for me for the past several years is american and ik that's definitely different from the british curriculum (i’m sorry if i misunderstood you again - ni friend kinda thought/guesses that nadsey friend's curriculum is the british one 💜) 

idk if your brother is nice or not so i’m not sending any luck to him lol until ik whether… mmm. :') :') 

and if you need anything in math, i’m the person to ask, too 🥺 (omgeee kidding lol 🤣) 

@LoveMyMoonflowers

:0 D: I was going back and forth checking if the reply popped up and I’m late smh- I didn’t get notified at all😭💜

>: are yu scared of me😭😭it’s okayy😭😭💕💕I’m not mad😭😭💜I’m later probably- 

I wish I was homeschooled :'P💜but I knuw it probably has its own struggles🩷this reminds me of the fact my old math teacher from last year (but only every like tuesday I think🤍) has a yutube channel hehe xD💜ouuh that makes sense all my teachers suck sm :P💙no offense.🩷but all they do is sit on their high chair with their computer and they tell us to copy off the board- we basically teach ourselves and anything yu do wrong they just..gosh :') they just go wild. and yeah.🤍teachers here suck at teachering🤍I think it’s also yur huge big brain power🐛🐛🐛🐛🧠🧠⚡️⚡️🩷yur literally so smart :P🧠🧠🧠🐛🐛🐛🐛✨that yur brain doesn’t fit in yur head🐛🐛✨✨🧠🧠🧠⚡️⚡️⚡️💖becos it’s too big :P✨🧠💖and if sum teacher just aren’t the best at teachering that’s not anyone but their fault :P💜

…lol do yu hate me😭/lh I was scrolling up our whole convo to see where yu ranted too much xD T^T🩷calm down hehe yur okie💕💗/lh yeeyyyy storytime hehe xD💗💓

I was 5 hehe :PxD💜I also had an example in a science qs and it included a spider and I asked what a spider was T^T💙

omigod what :0 I did that😭bruh my brother kept trying to teach me as in like so slowly like first draw an S..continue the line upward..connect it to that line..- and I’d make the weirdest shapes😭I learnt it so late-

shushssuhshsh yu so are a genius :3✨🩷💕/lh

nunu yur right- god stop doubting yurself luvly🩷all my teachers are literally- not even obsessed- just addicted to making kids lives as miserable as there’s when they were that age😭people make jokes about the arabic teachers being in toxic relationships and all that- and one day I have no idea how- my arabic teacher was so smiley and nice (it was so temporary but issokie :P🩷) and everyone was saying she musta divorced her toxic husband😭?- 

actually tho our teachers are so bad TvT💙1 minute late standards card☠️it’s a complicated system💜I only have 2 male teachers which in term1 it was none and they’re literally so- bleh- my english teacher is nice ish but he targets me a ton and literally today😭he was talking and idk what he said cos I was distracted but he said "because I know some of you don’t have the best eyesight *stares at me for a minute straight*" like wow okay😭😭wow😭🩷becos I sit closest to the digital and normal board but I always have to zoom in and take pictures becos I can’t see what’s written ever :')🩷I don’t hate him thu cos he’s actually good ish at teaching💜my geography teacher is just a nightmare and my math teacher is so bad I’m sorry but I kinda hate her T^T? I have too many teachers for this-🤍

hugs are okay💖squeezies yu tight💓

…huh howd yu- howd yu know lmaoo TvT🩷actually that’s su impressive what did I say :0💜yus I’m in the british curriculum💜I think it depends on the school but I’ve been to both🩷it really is so different :')💙do yu take indices :0🤍standard form🤍? uhhhmm what do I take- idk- bidmas XDD💖nvm I don’t focus-🩷

nuu he’s not hehe no luck to him :'P🎉✨

😭🤣nouuu yur smarttt i literally wrote in the last test on the easiest question it was like "work out: y^2+y^2+y^2" and I wrote "y^6"😭😭😭😭a lot of people made that mistake but it was "3y^2"😭

I would totally ask yu🤓✨🩷

@iloveyouxx

i think cups only notifies us of the most recent tags in threads. i wish they didn’t do that :( i wish they would notify us of every tag, things would be so much easier when it comes to replying and posting then. 💜 

aww no i’m not scared of you 💜 dw friend 💜 and i didn’t think you would be mad 💜 i just said i thought i was late because i saw it a little more than 10 minutes after it was posted lol - i was kinda doing a few things at once including cupsing - i thought i was late but that’s just me. i was like wow ni you saw it late 😱 how could you 😱 and then i took ~20 minutes or so to respond. and now i’m sitting here wondering… how is seeing a reply ten minutes later late? 🤔 it depends on the situation i guess. 💜 

it’s basically like… home life and school life - they’re one and the same. which can be a good thing in some ways and a bad thing in other ways - it really depends on the person/situation though. 💜 some homes are safer than others :') …i used to have a friend here who was homeschooled like me. at the time (i was 13 then) i liked being homeschooled so that’s what i told her 💜 but she said she wasn’t quite fond of it all. :') so i guess whether it’s good or not so good, it depends on the person and the situation. (i haven’t heard from this friend since october of last year btw :( it’s scary, idk what might have happened to her. i really miss her... 💜) 

i’m sorry all your teachers suck :( from what you’ve written i can tell your school life definitely isn’t that fun. 😔 i’m v sorry nadsey beanie :( *big hugs* 💜 it’s also silly and mean of your classmates/other kids to assume things and make jokes about teachers' personal lives :/ i guess people will be people, kids will be kids. there are meanie mcbeanie students everywhere and i suppose meanie mcbeanie teachers are in great abundance too - but i wish there were more teachers who actually cared. 💜 *massive comfy hugs for you* :') 

i don’t hate you smh 🥺 *more hugs for you* /gen 💜 i just thought i ranted too much lol 🤷🏻‍♀️ *calms down* 💜 

awww. for some reason i just melted when i read that lol. why is that so freaking cute 🥺💜 tbh i don’t like spiders :/ they be scary 😓 the way they crawly wawly. also i’m not kidding here lmao but when i wrote “i don’t like spiders” i just touched my neck just to make sure one wasn’t crawling on me and judging me silently lol 😭 

your v sweet 💜 me thinks it hard not to doubt self often times but thank you for being so kind and reassuring nadsies 💜

i wish i could give you a real hug :( it makes me sad that you have such meanie mcbeanie teachers and the students at your school are another story. :') 😔 you wrote to me that your school life is not good at all - you wrote that yesterday i mean :( but i think i actually genuinely understand what you mean now :/ 

um well - i knew because you say “year” instead of “grade” so… i kind of concluded that your in the british one. 💜 i feel so dumb now lol 😅 but i seriously have no idea what indices or standard form or bidmas are. :') *confuzzled* 

he’s not getting any luck from me then :') (your brother sounds meanie also 😔) 

lol it might be a better idea to ask a calculator or google or an AI - instead of me. 😅💜 

i’m not sure if the tag got nommed for this one nadsie buddy @iloveyouxx no pressure to reply of course 💜 ik you have a lot of tags coming in every day and a lot of different posts/replies to respond to 💜

@LoveMyMoonflowers

omg ni help☠️I just asked chatgpt "What is a scale factor in maths" (becos I’m still doing my math hw :'P🤍) and- "In mathematics, a scale factor is a number that scales." …….. :D 

I didn’t even get this or the second notification :')🩷

wait ni I just got a question right :0💕I’m going back and forth to do my math homework and right now it’s 85% completed :P🤍I counted and that’s 8 questiuns left :0💜but I usually like- how I finish math homework is really specific TvT🩷becos most of my homework are on device and websites- unless it’s like science or english or history or sumthing :P💙but this and last year I’ve had the same (nightmare of a- :>)math teacher and we’ve never had homework that wasn’t on this same website :P and we get homework every wednesday due the next wednesday :P💜thats why I know the percentages I finished and at the end I know like how many I got wrong- but basically I just go on all of them and- hold on lemme get a photo-

I don’t really have anything to hide I’m pretty sure su nothings like cropped but basically I saved the hardest for last😭🫠🩷

lol and I’m 3days late :P🤍yur point XDTvT🩷omge 20minutes😱💖essaying😱💖? I seriously take hours on a normal reply😭my brain is so slow😭💜

:0 ni :0 you’ve come to a realization :0 nuu I don’t think it’s late for any situation TvT💗unless it’s like an emergency and yu were just staring at the screen for 10 minutes straight whjwoehdnwm :P:3💕but sumtimes I just see a reply and I keep the notification there to reply to it later when I don’t feel like it- and sumtimes it takes ages for me to feel like it and thats okie😭💓

I’m gonna save it until this part and go do math :0 then I’ll come back and reply to the rest💕

I kinda wish I was homeschooled- I just scrolled up to my reply and realized I already said that :P and thats what yu were replying to :P💜 D: id be so scared I’m so sorry >:🩷honestly- I kinda. grew✨. this mindest :') where atp every time sumone says they’re leaving, permanently or not, or leaving-leaving or just leaving cups I just can’t believe it anymore :') I just know they’ll come back. and they literally always do :')🩷it’s nothing bad. mostly because I knew and knuw alot or cupshoomans and cupsfriends that would say they’re leaving like every day :')💜and come back 5hours later. and just act like it’s all normal :')🩷idk. nothing bad against them. It is hard. but they literally set their account on break or deactivated and say sumthing literally insane before~leaving~then there’s that whole group of people that go crazy and I just :')💜it’s kinda. predictable. alittle more than kinda- I’ve never had a friend that actually left and never came back >: I’m su sorry >: i really don’t know how thatd feel💜october is like 2months before I joined :P atleast yu have me✨/j/j/j/j/j/j/j/j(complete joke lmao- I thought I didn’t like say it enough ;-;- just incase-) but really >: I hope they’re okay..😞💓

my dads gonna kill me😭I have like 4qs left- I’ll just speeden it up-💖

hugs💗I love you.💗

friend Ive thought of a list of nicknames :3💕ni(obviously-)ninibeanie, nini, nibiscuit(idk where this came from-🧠✨🫠)ninibear, nibear, niloaf(if love/luv isn’t okie with yu💗)moonbeam,

_{ni I actually stopped writing a long time ago to finish my math and guess what lmao😭I finished it😭I’m actually so happy I’m jumping and my dad left too😭I’d go on caps but thats possibly a trigger to yu💓but I’m so happy whwjjajakakahsjnsja😭😭😭o and and ni guess what😭since this assignment was pt prep it’s actually due on may20😭I’m so happy but idk why it said due this week but when I clicked on it it shows the actual due date but I’m so happy😭😭}

omg noo me and insects TvT🤍I saw an ant in like the swimming changing rooms(I never actually do swimming dw✨)and like😭basically :D💜I was sitting with these 2 girls. one of them was the one I’ve mentioned a bit here :P included in alot of drama and lots of rumors about her- threats and graffiti and lies and idk :P🩷and the other girl was her friend. yk when. for example it’s so hot yu don’t care who sumone is to yu you just start relating about how hot it is and all that T^T💜so basically :D me and "S"(the victim of the whole thing :P🩷) didn’t have water TvT💙like ofc the one time-🤍and girl3 had water so S basically..sucks ;-; at "skying" and I do too ;-;🤍so I was just laughing at her xD🩷lightheartedly- we were laughing with her- and I was so desperate for water I just tried whatever that is😭and they kept staring at me so much- and I was like why’re yu looking at me so judgementally I can’t do this😭then S said she was waiting for me to spill it everywhere so she could laugh and that made me laugh and actually spill it everywhere and her laugh made me laugh more TvT🤍but basically :D idk why I had to put so many details- I’m honestly really lonely at school :D but for 2 swimming lessons I just talk to sum people becos my swimming set doesn’t really care :P💜but basically I had to fill the water bottle like 7 times becos I kept finishing it :D✨and then :D this girl in my science class thats also horrified of insects was helping me cos the cold water wasn’t working cos basically the thing the water bottle pushes to poor water was completely. ripped off. these are so many unnecessary details xD💖but the water thing is short so I was sitting and then she pointed out that✨~thing~✨and my blindness had to get moleseculy~ close to it to see it TvT and- :D :D :D you get it :D :D :D

i have trauma w insects T^T even ants- and then the 3rd girl kept pointing out that the fly was there and I’d get scared xD it wasn’t in a meanie way tho🩷

hehe. yu don’t know about the students at my school :3 they’re really. really. heartless :') I could tell yu stories but. I’ve yapped enough in this whole thing already xD💗

omg xD the british school words are so weird and silly and thats what I always thought but I got too used to it😭"whiteout" instead of "corrector"😭? but now I only ever automatically say whiteout😭I thought "timetable" was a math thing but thats just schedule TvT🤍maths insteada math😭and then all the things like reading age✨9+ 0-✨"primary, secondary, senior"✨gcse✨slt✨the dumbest of standards✨"wElLbEinG"✨I’m sorry but they talk about it for hours and they genuinely couldn’t care less T^T if you told them um for example yur parents tw abuse yu or sumthing they’d literally call the parents even if you cried infront of them for 2 hours telling them it’d make it so much worse- not experience- just similar I guess but not my experience :P idk. I’m not gonna go on about it for too long but the counsellors just pure evil. they act like they’re such a fancy healthy school with well reached standards and education when. god it’s just. nvm.💗 

I keep getting carried away- really :00000000?🤍howww :000000 wait then :0 what do yu take :0 in math :0🤍

_{awwe hehe when he goes psycho and destroys the world around him almost killing me I choose to think he’s possessed :>}

D: I’d rather be yur friend than have that chatgpt4 version for free D: (and trust me..idk if yu saw when I said it but my older cousin was part of the people who created chatgpt and he has the payed version and it’s so. good, but yu and sum ai are incomparable- yur way better smh :P💖I’d ask yu about a life changing decision xD💖chatgpt would just say sum basic like "it's important to carefully weigh your options and consider the potential consequences. Seek advice from trusted friends, family, or professionals who can offer different perspectives. Ultimately, trust your instincts and choose what aligns best with your values and long-term goals." like. :P? exactly. ni is susussususuusususu smart and trustworthy💖I think I’d ask yu xD💖

I started writing this at 3sumthing and now it’s 9:32- TvT💜

✨🪂✨

✨🕳️✨

@iloveyouxx

bruh… what’s all this talk about people saying chatgpt's so amazing when that answer… 💀 um just to give you an idea of my dumbness lol idk what a scale factor is 😭😅🤣 maybe i learnt it some time around and i wasn’t paying attention or i learnt it and i just don’t remember now lol 

whaaaa :') cups is so silly :') *smh Cupsies McOopsies* 

dude idk how i feel about your math teacher lol part of me feels like yeeting him 🤔 for me my math homework is just… like on paper lol. but my quizzes and tests and exams are digital/online. idk if this will help you or not but it’s helped me hehe it’s this site: https://www.symbolab.com/ i think they have an app too but i haven’t tried that yet. what do you think? :o *no pressure* they kinda show the steps to solve the problem too

dw it takes a while for me to reply too 💜 i don’t think it’s that your brain is slow, in this case you were doing something else whilst writing this reply 💜 and you took some time to take that screenshot, and in your other replies you choose gifs too 💜 so it’s okay, i don’t think your brain is slow. your just thoughtful and one way i can see your thoughtful and considerate is - you use tone tags to help the other person know what kind of tone your message has 💜 which is helpful 💜 /gen 

nadia. omg omg omg omg. idk why i’m like “omg” 🥺 but maybe it’s because i’m like *that* *is* *literally* *the* *exact* *same* *thing* *that* *i* *do* 😭 i literally do that with so many replies. like i just leave the notification there if i don’t have the mental energy to reply to it just then… and if i peek out of curiosity i bookmark the page lol but either way it takes me forever to respond to some things :( this is actually the first time someone else told me they do this too lol 🥺 

by saying that you just gave me an idea… i should do that too, with replies i mean. but how do you save half-written replies? like in the diary space in your private tab of your profile? or your notes app? :o 

hehe yeah that’s what i was replying to 😅💜 

nadsies 💜 i think it’s like, kind of an intuition. 💜 and makes sense you’d develop that over time with that kind of situation because tbh i have the same thing, there’s always a tiny part of me that’s scared they won’t come back but like… most of me, i’m like - nah they’re most likely gonna come back. 💜 i’ve done this too. say something crazy, in my diary space or in rooms and deactivate my account and come back a few hours later. i think most of the time when this happens people are just… triggered, or something crazy or upsetting happened here, and their mind quickly goes to that one conclusion of… leaving. ik most of the time i’ve done that, i was triggered. :') i understand what you mean by it being quite predictable though 💜 

yeah… i hope she’s okay too. i really miss her :( her birthday's literally and i mean literally one day before mine. hers is on november 5 and mine's on november 6. so we always called each other birthday twins when we're actually almost-birthday-twins lol. 💜 idk what happened to her… because if you check her profile, every month it says she's active. it still says… “last active may 2024” but no matter what time i get on i never see her in rooms or forums, and just… i know she’s not here. there’s a small chance she might be… but idk i’m just scared :( and i’m sorry i’m ranting about my friend lol :') 

awww. 🥺 yeah it was two months before you joined hehe 💜 i remember when you joined. 💜 i remember you said you thought you were cringe as a newbie but i think you've just always been really sweet and funny and kind to literally everyone 💜 i think most people here feel like they were cringe as newbies. ik i was super cringe as a newbie lol. i’ll show you my first post - here just behold the cringe of my first post, nadsies, just behold. 🤣 it was supposed to be a thread in which people could share their “little thoughts” (thoughts are seldom little, i’ve now realised 🧐) but the thread literally just died so quickly @_@ 

*hugs you back tight, but not too tight* wuv you too lovely 💜 also… whaaaaaaaa, am i supposed to… um?! 😭😭😭 i’m melting, those nicknames 🥺😭😭😭 what do i say 😭😭 i already have nini 🥺 but ninibean and nibiscuit, ninibear, nibear, niloaf, moonbeam im 🥺😭😭😭 how do you come up with just the cutest nicknames possible?! 🥺 a big *yes* to all of them 🥺💕 (this one paragraph became so yellow and blue because of the emojis lol) 

i've already got nadsies, nadsey, nadsey beanie for you 💜 but you can be… nadialoaf, nadseybear… (whatever you're comfy with okie?) but i’m actually so horrible at making nicknames :( when i nickname people it kinda just happens naturally but when i do it intentionally it’s just hard :') i’m actually so dumb lol 💜 

awwwwww. i’m proud of you 💜 /gen and since you’ve finished it early that means - well, that’s a lot of saved time for you 😎 it means you don’t have to work on it for the next week or so - until the due date :) that’s awesome 💜 also i’ll say one thing lol i wrote “dew” instead of “due” the first time 🤦🏻‍♀️ but then i was like bruh we're talking about schoolybobs, not plants *smh ni* 

spiders are actually arachnids 😅 they’re not insects. idk what the difference is, i don’t remember. sciencey stuff ✨ i’m not good at science :P 😅 

ewwwww no no no no we don’t like insects ew 😭 ugh. i’m sorry friend :/ also i’m gonna thank you for telling me this story because i haven’t had any water in a few hours and you just reminded me to go get some so… 💜 

my bottle didn’t have much water left in it :( so i finished it all up now but i’m too lazy to go refill it right now lol 💜 thank you for reminding me 😅 

i’m sorry you're lonely at school though… 😔 tbh i don’t really think most people there are very nice company anyways… by what i’ve read from this diary space and from what you’ve told me i can deduct that most of them are meanie mcbeanie bullies :/ but still, that doesn’t take away the loneliness… :( even when we talk to people sometimes every now and then… we may still feel lonely. we can be surrounded by people on all sides, and still feel lonely at heart. 💜 :') 

aww don’t worry i don’t think your “yapping” or talking too much or anything, it’s okay. sometimes when we talk about things it can bring some kind of catharsis 💜 so dw 💜 besides you need some place to talk about the crazy things going on at school :( being silent just makes it hurt more. 😔 silence is easier i guess, it’s hard to talkie about things but… silence can hurt… :( 

lmao 😅 those words are funny 🤭💜

tw/mention of abuse - but… tbh, sounds a lot like your school's being pretty fake with all the “wellbeing” stuff and all. 😞 if they actually understood what abuse is like at home they wouldn’t do that 😔 i feel like so many people, literally so many people… schools, even crisis lines, sometimes… they don’t actually genuinely care but they want it to look like they care. :/ i think pretending to care does just as much damage as not caring… though… :') :') 

um… this year i have pre-algebra? 😭 idk what it’s supposed to be called i feel so stupid 😭

oh no friend… *huggles you* 🥺 he sounds vvv meanie then, worse than meanie, really 😔 idk what to say 😔 

awwww 💜 your way too sweet 💜 i wish i could hug you forever 💜 

@LoveMyMoonflowers

☠️☠️no idek what scale means :D☠️- our brainies are buddies.✨🧠🤝🧠✨we are equally dumb :3✨🎉💜

cups is very silly :0 and it thought it could end this convo D:🤍I always came back eehehehehe🐛🐛🐛🐛🐛🐛💖

ouuuuuu💜I went on it :0🩷I haven’t tried it yet🤍I like the wiggly arrows :3💕they very silly.💕thankyu💗

huh😭🥺💜I’m sure sum other hoomans do it too right😭sumtimes if I don’t want to keep it there most of the time if it’s like the "Tell us your mood with one gif!" forum and I have full on essay convos there :0🩷I’d just cross it out and for me I always have a notification from that forum su I always remember to reply by it🐛🐛🐛🐛🐛🐛💕procrastinating is comfy.🐛🐛🐛🐛🐛🐛💜

ou :0🩷omggee hehhehehe sumone asked me that xD💕if I have to go but already wrote a lot and don’t wanna lose it

okieee su my notes app is connected to my dad’s- my google/chrome/safari is too.🤍I tested it and the second yu go on incognito tabs  it stops showing anything on his devices- so when I’m on chrome he can tell but when I slide it to incognito it doesn’t show anything for him anymore🤍su that’s why all my tabs are in incognito🩷I used to copy my reply into a new tab(like pasting it in the search bar💜) to find it later- but that’d make the like- the new and different paragraphs would all go together, any teenie/different color text would all be the same :p even big text too ofcourse- italic/bold/underlined writing would be the same too-🩷I’d have the private section of my profile open on another tab :0💜and I’d paste anything there💕and also yu knuw how when yu copy sumthing yu go over the text with the lil blue thing- I noticed when yu do that it stays for longer if yu close cups🩷or I copy then close the reply and go to my profile then paste it :p🤍if yu can’t have a ton of tabs open🩷

ni🥺💓the link didn’t work but i found it by the name and by the "note: this is my first thread😅"😭😭🥺🥺🥺💗💗💓also nini yu know what I realized :P🩷may comes before june :P💕and..that post was on June1 :P🩷but yu joined the day before :P💜in may-🧐💕wait…..☠️☠️:0000000000 ouuuhhhhhhh :0000000☠️. XD🫠🧠💜smh the brain isn’t there- it’s not there. :D✨but I think yu were adorable💗all my forums die after the first persun🦕🦕🩷it’s very miserable and lonely and heart-hurting :3 becos no one cares :3 and I had to get my only 2 negative forums removed. becos no one cares :3🐢🐢💜and idk. this isn’t a bad thing but you post like a non positive sentence or two and you got a whole group of people coming in and idk. 

🪂

🕳️

yaaayyyy💗I realized how much more I still have to reply to and how I’ve already made this the shortest I possibly could so far TvT🤍and how I have to get ready for school and pack my books and check my school website but I’ve put everything aside for this TvT🤍but mostly how I’m getting nowhere TvT💜I said I was gonna reply to this *right now*🩷im gonna post until this part and I’ll reply to the rest after school💕I lowkey shoulda thought of myself TvT💕that sounds horrible but. I don’t have time I’m sorry.💕I wish I could write more but- actually nvm I’m rushing take care💓

_{he’s going out with his friend.}

_{I talked to that girl again today.} 

she asked why I got pulled out by our lead teacher with the worst girl in that group involved. which- long story short-apparently I said "why do you wear so much makeup are you like insecure?" and apparently I also announced that girls BMI to everyone- which- I don’t even know her bmi how would I know that-

I’m not mad. my lead teacher obviously believed me but she pretended to not know what to believe and all that. 

the girl got called out in the first place becos a primary student witnessed her mocking me or sumthing. and she admitted to that but just changed the story so she got a b3 sanction anyway.

_{the fake crying-}

_{the fake victim voice and act-} 

_{i :’)}

_{not worth it.}

_{I complimented one of their makeup😭and I kept telling that specific girl all the time- no I keep telling her that she’s so pretty and that she’s literally gorgeous- and when she’d go on about her perfect bf I’d just compliment her the whole time all like yeah ofc like literally you can get any guy you want- and then she asked me if I had a bf and I said no I wasn’t as perfect as her and that everyone should be so jealous and all that- then another time she talked about this drama with another girl and I told her she was just jealous cos I mean look at you she literally just wants to be you and can’t get over her own insecurities- on random days I complimented her hair and makeup and some things she’d bring to school-} 

_{id really never just blurt out infront of her friends "why do you wear so much make up- are you like insecure??" :’) I’m literally scared of her with her friends and it’s so obvious that she’s not a victim-}

_{i don’t compliment her because we’re friends. she’s obsessed with herself and it makes her go crazy happy :’) as much as I hate her for hurting so many people I like seeing her happy.} 

_{I didn’t even report her because I’m not even like that.} 

_{Idk. I just feel like I didn’t really do anything and now they target me even more.}

2 of the girl in that group overheard us.

_{they just kept staring at us-}

which- really- I don’t care-..

the girl said if they ask we’ll just tell them I was explaining why I was pulled out. It’s not like I said anything bad.

_{we already decided if they do anything after the head of year gave that speech we’re just reporting it.}

_{I’m so done like it’s such unnecessary drama. and those 2 girls lied to me about the fact that main girl in the group was planning to apologize and that they were already friends and talked the day before and all that. I hate being used as like someone that heard this and that it’s not funny because I genuinely thought they were just gonna stop.}

@iloveyouxx Life is hard enough without outside people causing drama and making things worse than they need to be

@mytwistedsoul

so true. :(