in the wonders of my mind💗.
hey there :D hm. last time I checked you didn’t look like me🧐makes sense doesn’t it😛since there can only be one *me*✨one of a kind now arent I😁/sar. one out of 8118835999✨🌷can you imagine :0 o right- you can- becoss you’re also one of a kind💖 sorrysorry haha :P🤍im just messing around xD💞also it’s 2am- but shush no snitching🤫I’ll sleep in a while😁when I’m feeling a bit more sane :>😛🩷
wanted to have my own space.💜 for thoughts feelings vents or just anything on my mind.💙
to whoever's coming across :'3💜please dont lurk here.🩷 I know anyone can have access to this forum :')💙but please be respectful🩷.(but honestly..I know someone will either way :P💛 y’all get crazy nosy haha- it’s alright.💛nothing too interesting will be here anyway💛if you would like to come in and be supportive it’s completely okie💛but please don’t make it a regular or "normal" thing if that makes sense. just have a sort of limit💛because I’d still like this to be just my space ^-^💛)
right before I go to sleep there’s always such a realistic vision or kinda. video- that plays in my mind and it always feels so real.
..they wouldn’t let me go home because my dad wouldn’t pick up.
im so tired. I don’t wanna say anything.
anything I say. wont be great. and every time someone asks I just cry so ***.(me-)
im so tired.
10/26. 4/12.
please. I can’t.
I hope the drama gets so bad they actually jump me so I get so severely injured that I’m in a co.ma for the rest of my life.
see? no crisis ***. it’s just a coma.
slee.ping forever and dying aren’t the same.
I swear I hope I di.e.
i hope I d.ie.
today I just. I didn’t "attempt". don’t assume it.
I just walked far past that security guy and waited for the cars so I could start walking.
there were a couple of those white ish buses and one black car.
i was tired. no big deal. I just made my steps smaller. taking my time.
don’t rush. it’s not huge.
and some. I think he was an english teacher. pulled me out the way.
like are you insane? *** manic like bro if I die it’s my fault.-
……
I hope I d.ie.
i hope someone just. gets r.id of me for everyone.
i really
really
wanna
di.e.
do everyone a favor.
you were born to di.e.
it’s pain to pain ofcourse you’re hurting.
you literally don’t matter.
like actually.
not just self hate.
you don’t matter.
youre nothing to no one no one cares.
actually no one cares.
stop trying.
it wont even matter later on.
you can’t change someone for the better. no one cares about that.
if you wanna d.ie go ahead. literally everyone wants you de.ad but theyre not gonna ki.ll you. so go ahead. It’s really not that hard when you think about it. you love making everyone happy go ahead and make them happy.
just. di.e.
@iloveyouxx
*hugs if okay* no nadsies these are meanie thoughts that your brainie wants you to believe. :(
@LoveMyMoonflowers
awe. :')💜hugs are okay.💗but i think yur wrong :')💕or maybe my brainie is just really smart and aware :P💙these are the truest things I’ve said hehe🩷I’m not gonna lie to myself :')💜honestly I don’t like it when people do that. saying things to yurself thatre obviously not true.🤍you can’t deny :'P💕thankyu💓💖I luv yu🩷
@iloveyouxx
it's because you are a colourful hooman bean who can’t really see the colour in herself right now. 💜
@iloveyouxx
:( tbh i think it understandable that you’d believe otherwise. after years and years and years of being hurt, at school, at home, even online (including on cups which includes ni friend hurting you also) you start to believe you deserve it and you start to believe people want you… mmmmm. unalive :( but it not true. you don’t deserve the hurt and idk what exactly happens at school but i know it’s not good 😔 ik people don’t treat you kindly there :( what happens there it not your fault and even though you been going through it for so so long that doesn’t mean you deserve it :') :') :') and nadsies you don’t deserve what happens at home either :(
it’s hard to learn to love yourself and it’s hard to accept that you are lovable and that there are people who actually love you and care about you. after everything you been through nadsies tbh i think your brainie has completely convinced you that no one cares about you and that people want you… mmmm. 😔 ik you probably won’t believe me and even if other people might say it you won’t believe it :( but me thinks you are lovable and you are cared about 💜
(no pressure to reply, im so sorry i took so long to reply)
I’m just gonna. go do math homework.
xD still the most I’ve ever gotten xD🐛🐛🐛🐛💓💖💗🩷💕💕🩷💖🩷💖🩷💖💕💓🩷
i luv my frends🩷 coughcoug-evasoulni-cough-/j/j/j💜
@iloveyouxx
math homework is so ew :( also i’ve run out of hearts again ugh 😭 why 7cups just why
dude nvm, cups is being weird and glitching? like it literally looked like i ran out of hearts and after i post that my upvote shows up? um okay - cups.
@LoveMyMoonflowers
aaynabbwngabahaajjajajjjjjehsjwnajajw cups w7wjwjoss smhhhhhhh- it gets so confusing😭
math homework really is ew >:🤍it’s so hard too T^T💙I finished the 90 question one but every wednesday we get math hw so right after I finished that we got like a 60 qs one TvT💜and we have pt tests and our end on year grades depend on sum other tests and the pt test and I got a 10/26 in one of them so I need to do really good in the pt😭yeah I’m not making it to year9✨🩷
🪂
✨🕳️✨-
@iloveyouxx
it really does. one day i was like *smh cups* the entire time i was cupsing that day because the site was just being weird in so many different ways lmao.
jesus christ that is too much homework. 60 questions - *math* questions - is already very bad :/ but 90 questions? yeah no that’s not fun :/
for me i was actually good at math for a few years until i got to year 9 math. and now it’s just hard and it just sucks
i still haven’t finished today's math homework D: D: D:
@LoveMyMoonflowers
*smh*
😭😭😭😭not fun😭😭lol what do you mean I love it😭😭😭😭😭🩷I kinda- strongly dislike :D💜my math teacher :D🩷
huh how TvT🤍I’ve always sucked at math🐛🐛🐛🐛✨💜I was just good at everything in late primary but ni😭💙I needa tell yu a story I just remembered😭💜
su. this was year1 right😭I remember that it was year1 becos of the teachers there🩷su this was a completely other school and there we had the same teacher and substitute teacher for every single subject right :P🩷so we were taking really simple math and idk how this came up but- I remember this so well idk why-💜it was a math test and we were taking really really simple math and one question musta said "work out: 0+1" becos at the time we were still learning what the numbers even were-
the seating plan was basically- like tables making the shape of a half square around the class-? idk. and our teachers were there becos at the time questions during a test were allowed. and I remember raising my hand for every single one of them :D every single one :D and basically I got to that "work out: 0+1"😭and the sub teacher basically repeated it to me literally- and I asked what 0 was- and ni :’)💜the way she almost lost it-😭I feel so bad what-😭like she put her hands on her hair and she was like its zero but she was yelling :D I wasn’t scared or anything I was such a dumb child😭and the teacher was calming the sub teacher down and at this point they were just telling me the answers cos they got sick of me-
……..
im too smartttt :D🧠🫠🩷
D: D: D: alsu can I ask what year9 math is like TvT💙my brothers in year10 and it’s so hard for him and he’s having mock exams soon D:💜
ni..if yu need anything in math :D🩷I’m the persun to ask okay?😎😛💕
she asked why I got pulled out by our lead teacher with the worst girl in that group involved. which- long story short-apparently I said "why do you wear so much makeup are you like insecure?" and apparently I also announced that girls BMI to everyone- which- I don’t even know her bmi how would I know that-
I’m not mad. my lead teacher obviously believed me but she pretended to not know what to believe and all that.
the girl got called out in the first place becos a primary student witnessed her mocking me or sumthing. and she admitted to that but just changed the story so she got a b3 sanction anyway.
the fake crying-
the fake victim voice and act-
i :’)
not worth it.
