@mytwistedsoul

Hey friend 💗 always okay to move messages, 7cups forum functions are weird. they go left, right, up and down hehe. Don't worry about late reply friend, me is kind of late too so take your time💗 

Ohh! Sounds interesting, i might have a look at that poem later (: have never heard of it! yeah, i hear your feelings friend. Yeah, especially with friendships/relationships or talking to people we eventually fall into that trap of "fake it till you make it" and suddenly the wave hits you, the realization that this life is neither a dream nor a nightmare. Its just constant reality looming over us 💙

It sounds like things with your father have been up and down - it sounds like when you both reconnected you hoped for something better, for someone to lean on and trust again, because of course he is your father after all. You want to feel like you can get close to him again, and again these are totally valid feelings 💙 I'm sorry to hear you feel abandoned friend, its horrible when we don't really have much people to lean on and get close to. *sends hugs if okay* 

Yeah, trusting the wrong people can be a bit... eeeeeee. so difficult to describe, its so hard to find the right people that can help and support us the way we are comfortable with. I understand that especially with listeners, and they give us alot of fluff and we don't really know how to react other than show grattitude and move on 💙

And you know? there is something okay about not being able to be kind and caring all the time friend. we are all not so perfect, and some days we have bad days and we feel upset and angry, or we feel we can't give support. its just part of being human friend💙 i'm proud of you for being able to realise that, and to be able to understand that. 

I hear you friend. Some days, its like our blooming days are done. Like we are just slowly just.... moving along somehow. I hope you keep shining that beautiful light and that warmth because it makes the world such a lovely place to be in. And I hope you share that warmth with yourself. Realise the small things you achieved such as doing a difficult task or getting up and out of bed, or doing something creative.💙 *sits with you* i know how difficult it is, snapping back into our sad reality, i know how hard emotions are and dealing with trauma and so much *** the world has thrown at you. I might not be able to know your full story, but if it helps i am here to offer my kind words and comfort. 💙

i know it sounds strange, but I hope your being kind to yourself friend. I hope your surviving, because even that is an achievement in itself. i'm always here if you need a hand to hold or a shoulder to lean on. 💙

Bunny :)

Notice: My life has become very busy, so I will not be very active today, tommorow, and possibily the day after. please bare with me whilst i reply. thank you <3

@amiableBunny4016

It's okie to take your time, BunBun. Sending hugs and peaceful vibes (do these actually help? :P I guess the thought should a bit count hehe💗). 🤗💗

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

sorry for the delay 💗 *sends hugs right back atcha*

*sits*

anyone here?

@amiableBunny4016

late but I am <3

@amiableBunny4016

hi bunny 

i'm so over it all.

i dont give *** anymore.

@amiableBunny4016 Sorry 😞 I've been mia - how are things with you? 

@mytwistedsoul

eh, its fine. at this point, im not really bothered about 7cups not going to lie. i've been alive i guess. struggling but somehow surviving. how are you?

@amiableBunny4016 Same tbh. Feeling about the same as you 💙 sending hugs if ok

@mytwistedsoul

yeah. :') *hugs* 💙

no one. just no one. 

i feel like i barely exist anymore.

i just.... linger somehow, in places i dont belong.

it hurts every time you put your life together to fit in with other people, yet the puzzle never fits together. you never seem to belong anywhere. 

i listened to this music last night... and just sat and cried and sobbed.

"In the darkness, the thousands of lanterns flickered to life. The sky was clear. The stars infinite. The light of the moon was full and bright. On a night as this, my heart was content, awaiting the promise of tomorrow" - Sue Lynn Tann

This quote is so beautiful 😭 arghhhh! i dont know.... there are some quotes that i get obsessed over ( i know its weird) but i can'ttttt

@amiableBunny4016 it’s not weird at all ❤️ i think that quote is beautiful too ❤️

how can i be so lost? for how long will it be this way? in this stupid place, depending on others. how much longer?

i closed my heart to everything, so everything ended. mom left me. dads gone. god knows where everyone else is. 

its what love does to you. you open your heart, and people will rip it apart and make it bleed. you close and you wont have to feel that sort of pain again.

but you do feel the pain of absence. absence of people. absence of joy. absence of anything. 

@amiableBunny4016 I'm still here 💙 I still love you Bunny.  I wanted to reply sooner but it was a mad dash trying to find a mod because I have a chat I host. Then anxiety kicked in because of rushing

@mytwistedsoul

its okay. 💙 hope your okay now.... 

love you too. 

@amiableBunny4016 Hey you 💙 Well the anxiety is less but then my other companion settles in

@mytwistedsoul

glad the anxiety has kind of settled 💙  rooting for you

i'm fine. thats highly unlikely, after my attempt last night. even if i leave, where do i go? they got to find my mom first, and decide where i go. 💙 

@amiableBunny4016 Thank you 💙

I saw you had written that she had left but idk - I guess I wasn't thinking she Left you altogether. I'm really sorry Bunny. She's a POS for all the things she's done to you and for abandoning you

@mytwistedsoul

i dont care tbh. i'm not even bothered thinking about her or anything. i've just become numb to all this. 

oh well...... i'll survive i guess.

@amiableBunny4016 Being numb is probably the safest thing right now 💙 I believe you will survive. It takes time and hard work - which sounds so lame. And Bunny? No more "attempts" ok? Please 🥺

@mytwistedsoul

yeah, being numb is better than feeling the pain 💙 i dont feel pain anymore. it was another atttempt to end it.....unfortuntely i survived. 

@amiableBunny4016 Cross off the un part 💙 Fortunately you survived 

And I'm grateful you did 💙

no one. nothing. just alone. alone. alone. alone. alone. alone. alone. alone. alone

no one here.

my parents have a brought a corpse from our home.

me.

corpses dont feel pain.

anyone here?

https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/General_2444/RememberingBrilliantTurtle89_331695/ 

- this post actually ..... i'm crying.

@amiableBunny4016 I'm so sorry Bunny. 💙 You knew this person? A friend.  I saw they were an atl. *offers safe hugs* 

@mytwistedsoul

Yep. I knew them since I joined 7cups... 

@amiableBunny4016 I'm sorry 😞 they sounded like a wonderful person. They will be deeply missed 💙

@mytwistedsoul

Mhm. I lost a teacher recently.. she's gone. I trusted her. She used to send me letters and cards and would always try to make me happy and feel strong. 

And now we seem to keep loosing people, one after another. Another person that I cared about. Another person that left.

Turtle will be missed lots 💜 

Like they say...Grief is the price we pay for love.

@amiableBunny4016

*hugs bunny if okay…?* 

💜

Im having flashbacks of that attempt...