In the Corner
Sometimes, the thoughts in my head repeat over and over and over again until I need to tell them to someone, even if noone's listening. So, this is my little corner to do that. Thoughts and thoughts and thoughts. Trigger warnings, just incase. And, @LoveMyMoonflowers, @justmeeva @DarkerPlaces and @iloveyouxx are welcome to replies. Not really comfortable with anyone else. Sorry for tagging. Be safe everyone <3
I came here to post xD but all the words poofed-
lets just say- its 43-44 degrees Celsius- and we hv no electricity for fans or ac right now-
@unassumingEyes
that’s so much- i’m dying at 20-
@justmeeva 20 is like a blessing for us xD but yall probably consider like idk less than 10 degrees celsius as normal? While i wld freeze in that so xD
@unassumingEyes
mm idk i think like 15-20 is “normal” i just personally hate heat and much prefer winter so 20 and above is basically a desert to me lol
@justmeeva @iloveyouxx @LoveMyMoonflowers
I just wanted to say smth kind of weird- smtimes i get in like a low mood and i think of yall- and i think of yalls talk spaces. Not things i read there- i dont read urs nadia unless uve been hiding long enough for me to want to check if ur still on cups- but i think of the names, u know? I think of evas crazy mind- and i think we all got a bit of crazy eva but i dont think ur crazy enough for it to need acknowledgement- but i understand why u cld feel like that :p. And and ni's little solace- and that makes me think of soup and bears and softness, just the name of it- and in the wonders of nadias mind- and there are lots of those nadia frnd- lots of wonders. I think of them and i think of you all and i think i must be very lucky to have met you all 🩷✨️ idk how yall cn love me djfgjdbd i barely know who i am past everyone irls expectations. But im trying to figure that out and yall are just here like. I thought. Idk. If i wasnt like mom wants and sis wants and dad wants noone wld care about me- but i find out dad wld and you guys. Dont even know how different (fake) i am irl and still like me?? Dkdhdn
It gives me hope, i guess. That i can be myself and itll be okay. Yall give me hope <3 wish i cld give yall sm in return 🩷
@unassumingEyes
awwee eyes, that’s the idea of cups. that’s the idea of friends. that’s how the rest of the world and the rest of the people should be too, but, you know.. that you’re accepted for who you are. that you can be comfortable being yourself without the feeling of being judged. that’s what we’re for 🩷
as for giving back, you are, eyes friend. you being here, your upvotes, your comments, as much or as little, they’re all meaningful. at least to me they really really are. just knowing you’re here. 🩷
and no doubt, though i feel like i don’t say it to you enough, i’m really happy to have met you too 💗
I just did the second thing for the CDM but i can already tell im having tons of fun- xD and want to keep doing this.
But also studies and the course dad got me to take (its paid! i cant waste that i need to make it worth it-) and how is summer vacation becoming stressful-
i have 3 months vacation
and all i can think is
i need more time!
Tw because its Impossible for sis to be wrong ofcourse! No, mom! Its always my fault! Im sure i must have done something wrong by talking to you to get her to start being rude! Dont tell her off, ever! Just tell me im "arguing too much"! Im not arguing with myself mom, shes there too!
Things that are me/mine and not what anyone else expects to be me/mine:
- cups. And the cups username bcz omg i have so much mental conflict about my name rn its like my name doesnt respresent me it represents who i pretend to be and its such a mess- cups auto generated unassumingEyes and i fell in l o v e-
And then i came in gc and ppl called me eyes that first day and im like yeah thats me im eyes
And it just
Its mine
Love that-
. Fanficiton accounts lol part of the reason i read fanfics is like its totally my thing noone expects me to barely anyone knows i do (sis does but without any proof) it- helps
. CDM program literally thank you cups academy it feels so good to do smth i want to even tho im going to have to do some serious time management this is fun
. Writing secrets of the grave. I swear if mom and sis read this book im writing they would hate it they would absolutely hate it theyd call it emo and ask me sarcastically if i suffer so much abuse and theyre "so bad" that im writing "dramatic nonsense" lol i might never show them that means i cant publish it but thats what happens lol
. Drawing flowers from irl pics this is hard and i dont use colours which my mom hates she says i shld add colours but i dont ✨️care✨️ xD
. And i love purple 🟣 and teal (no teal emoji, really? xD)
These are like such few things tbh im trying to understand myself- the real me- but its hard. For one, i dont like the type of poetry my family likes, i enjoy the "dramatic" type. I write songs smtimes too, i can hear the tune in my head, but i cnt do that- um and i like typinggggggg for some reason lol
Sooo thats eyes, so far! Still figuring it out 💙
tw
The weather today is awful. Its 39 degrees Celsius- feels like 43, says the weather app. I can definitely agree that it feels like 43. Ive survived 50 back in kuwait, yeah, but also there was a 24/7 AC there. No such thing here, no siree! Here, it costs like, a lot, to turn the ac on for like, an hour. We have it on right now- just turned it on like a second ago- but thats because in 15-30 mins, we’re gonna be living without electricity. Believe me, no fans, no ac, no cooling. I stepped outside for one second and my feet are protesting against that heat. All well and easy to say theres no such thing as climate change when your living in cool climates, but i dare anyone who says that to go to school or work or even just live here for 3 days! Only, i cant dare that, because they wouldnt survive a day. And the area where we live is relatively new. You know what means? Construction. Lots and lots of construction. Houses, schools, hospitals, markets- you name it. Cool, except the workers dont get an off. In 39 degrees celsius. It does not feel like 39! 43 is definitely more accurate. And temperatures can go as high as 48, you know. Never heard of 50 here like in kuwait- thank god- but 48. You know whats going to be on the news? Heat wave. People collapsing. Dont call me morbid, its true. Schools timings have shortened, no such luck for colleges and workplaces though. Im burning, what do you think the workers are feeling? Be grateful for electricity, guys. And cool climates. And accept climate change is a thing or im going to melt before the polar ice caps and i will not be the only one.
Sincerely,
A pile of really hot ashes right now/sar
