In the Corner

And God, i dont really know if i believe, but if Youre real, thank You for all the good people, even the quiet ones, even the weird ones, even the ones we never deserved

You worry bout me worryin bout you aint we caught in an endless loop tell me why you hate your self and lemme pretend, lemme pretend i cn sing ur rage away 

Theres a storm inside you i have known to love 

Dont need to look to see the clouds above 

I can feel your fury like lightnening sparks

Bring down ur raging floods i got a million Noahs arcs

Bring down ur raging floods

U worry bout worryin

Oh i cn see those thoughts scurryin

They call u strange and out of range

Ill die before i let em make you change

I can feel ur hurricanes inside

Let em out let em shout u got nothin to hide

I can feel ur love and sympathy behind

Oh let em out let em shout theres nothin to mind

Shes saying uve been on the phone since **** waking up like my sis was out with the phone till an hour ago so thats not even **** possible she really just  n e e d s to yell doesnt she

Idek why i bother atp

Tw 

are you deaf- sis in a fit of anger

and suddenly-

are you deaf

are you deaf

are you deaf

i wish. How **** up is that?

Tw

She “loves me”

but if she were to know:

- im not a muslim right now, not really

- i have male friends on here

- i hold my breath on hard nights, think of goodbye notes and sharp things

- i have had nightmares of her, not one, not two, but several

- i dont want to marry, even tho i love kids

- i am not homophobic, transphobic or any of that and think that even if lgbtq+ ppl are “wrong” shunning, hurting and mocking them is worse 

if she knew that. Well. You cant call it love when its so conditional, can you? 

My sis went and snitched to mom with exaggerations (twisted her hand?? I held it for 0.0005 seconds?? Im not even lying for once if it twisted that was not on purpose??)

and mom called me disrespectful along with other words in urdu and yelled at me and said i shld be ashamed.

fun? 

And u know why i held my sisters hand for a second? And what the “fight” was about? My lovely, wonderful, sister spent every minute since getting home on the tablet i needed to study on, so i took the tablet when she went to bath, left the room for a minute after she bathed and came back to see her on the tablet, on youtube. And put one hand on her shoulder, one on her hand (thats the the aforementioned “twisting”, i just held her hand??), and said i need that to study

And she said, first, i dont care and then take it before practically throwing the tablet at me, along with insults. I got annoyed and sarcastically apologized for touching her hand how could i do such a thing and she yelled at me to shut up and then asked if i was deaf before storming out

thats what happened.

i know i know we sound like 5years old but literally how is it my fault i just said i need the device to study and she got all mad at me??