In the Corner

Tw i knew since i woke up today was an “everything going wrong” kind of day but that didnt mean i was ready for it.

Im always walking on egg shells around mom but when she has a headache? Add nails to those egg shells- 

and everything is going wrong. For one- ive come down with indigestion a g a i n. two- Something in our bathroom broke and has been leaking like crazy, and ofcourse that made moms headache worse. Also i think she had something almost like a panic attack, but its hard to feel sympathy because im currently panicking over every single move i make for fear of setting her off. Like right now my brains yelling at me for taking the tablet she’ll be mad- but before i was doing nothing and she'll be mad at you for being lazy and before i put the clothes to wash and she’ll be mad at you for doing it wrong there are a million ways to do this wrong-

And when my sis gets home shes gonna be an insensitive idiot (i love her but shes so badly insensitive its almost cruel) and ill try to warn her not to be dumb but she will be and itll all get worse

ive been awake for just 2 hours so far and im already tired

Tw now my brains yelling at me for leaving the room mom just entered but i swear its bcz mom doesnt want the fan so i moved to another room to turn on the fan she wont be mad at that right-

Tw the fact that i hvnt been yelled at yet is very anxiety inducing

Tw

Ok we had one good news so moms cheered up

Just mom, tho.

u know what?

sis, when she reaches home, is going to whine and whine and whine. And if i tell her to be quiet for two seconds im tired shes going to ask what did i do to be tired (mockingly)

What did i do? Other than be alert since morning, ignore the sharp thing right there in the kitchen, fret over the bathroom (leak, leak, leak), get sick, ignore the sharp thing, put the clothes to wash and then dry, avoid throwing up, ignore the sharp thing, what did i do all day? Nothing, obviously, what right do i have to be tired?

Someday, i wont roll my eyes at her mocking. Someday, i wont just sigh. Someday, ill say it, and she wont care. She just. Wont. Care.

Tw im going crazy at this point

Tw

Im already de-d really. Just doing what i used to want to do. Do i still want it? I dont know. Do i still enjoy poetry? I dont know. Only one thing left that makes me feel alive and momll probably take that away some day too. And then what? Nothing. Nothing, nothing and nothing. 

Im in a reallyyy bad mood today so im going to log off cups rn 😶✨️✨️

You guyyys ok so i like purple and: 

Thats so pretty??? 

Changed my pfp and just suddenly felt way better?? And few ppl complimented it in gc tho its just a colour gradient and im like 

🥹

Tw The new post. In the conquering anxiety series on here. Is called role of diet and exercising.

Diet.

Diet.

Diet.

I cant read that.

I hate food.