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In The Gloaming TW *just in case*

mytwistedsoul November 7th, 2019

With the tragic loss of the feed and after much debate and discussion. It's been decided to create a new thread. Soul space so to speak. A journal of sorts.

A place where I can dump some of the nonsense that goes on in my head.

While replies are welcome - they aren't necessary.

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mytwistedsoul OP January 29th
mytwistedsoul OP February 1st

sleep with 1 eye open 

watching the shadow 

lurk behind the door

waiting for it to tippy toe and creep

it's way across the floor


cartoons in the evening

milk and cookies

just before bed

lullabies we sing

to the monsters 

living in our head


too old to be this stupid

too young to feel this old

count in even numbers

the lies that we've been told


think you have all the pieces

don't even know where to start

blown to *** and back again

a million worlds apart 🐾

3 replies
amiableBunny4016 February 1st

@mytwistedsoul

beautifully written soul 💙 this is such a touching little poem . 

I love this bit! <3 eloquently written by such a lovely person!

"lullabies we sing

to the monsters 

living in our head"


Bunny <3


1 reply
LoveMyMoonflowers February 1st

@amiableBunny4016

i agree, bunny friend! 💜

mytwistedsoul OP February 1st

@amiableBunny4016 @LoveMyMoonflowers

ty ty 😊

mytwistedsoul OP February 3rd

@amiableBunny4016 It is a really good line :) 💙 I'm glad you liked the poem

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LoveMyMoonflowers February 1st

@mytwistedsoul

:') i love this 💜 it’s lovely, soul buddy. you write so beautifully 💕 

2 replies
mytwistedsoul OP February 3rd

@LoveMyMoonflowers I'm glad you liked it 💙

1 reply
LoveMyMoonflowers February 3rd

@mytwistedsoul

💜💜💜

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mytwistedsoul OP February 3rd

What we do in our free time :)

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2 replies
LoveMyMoonflowers February 3rd

@mytwistedsoul

omg. those are so beautifully made 💙 i especially love the second one ^-^ they look so cosy and lovely. 💜 

2 replies
mytwistedsoul OP February 3rd

@LoveMyMoonflowers Aww thank you! 💙 That's my favorite too 😄 It came together so nice 

1 reply
LoveMyMoonflowers February 3rd

@mytwistedsoul

it really did 💜

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SleepyShyCat February 23rd

@mytwistedsoul

So cool!! I'm impressed 😸

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP February 24th

@SleepyShyCat Thank you! 😊

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mytwistedsoul OP February 3rd

Flavor of the day

New medicine - Control Freak

mytwistedsoul OP February 12th

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image_1707753307.png image_1707754609.png  image_1707753449.png 

3 replies
slowdecline48 February 13th

@mytwistedsoul I can so relate to some of those...

slowdecline48 February 14th

This evening's yoga pose is "Porcelain Throne Contemplation"...

3 replies
mytwistedsoul OP February 15th

@slowdecline48 Did you know that toilet yoga is a thing? Because I did not. Imagine my surprise 😂

2 replies
slowdecline48 February 15th

😆 Actually I didn't either, until now!...

I'll bet the breathing pattern can be difficult to do. 🤓

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP February 15th

@slowdecline48 😂😂

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mytwistedsoul OP February 13th

WTF is this? 

img-20240213-070932961_1707827788.jpg

Alittle rain they said. Maybe a dusting they said. Liars! I hate winter

It does look pretty though doesn't it? 😬

5 replies
slowdecline48 February 13th

You must be up north!...

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP February 13th

@slowdecline48 I am lol! In PA close to the NY border :)

1 reply
slowdecline48 February 14th

That's cool! I have family in the northeast, though not exactly where you are.

Do you go to New York often?...have heard the upstate region is beautiful at certain times of year & very different from the Big Apple.

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP February 15th

@slowdecline48  It's been a while since I went up to NY but yeah it is beautiful. Especially in the fall when the leaves change. Spring is nice too with all the new growth. But you won't catch me anywhere close to Big Apple - especially now with all thats going on there

If you have allergies though you would hate spring time here. The pollen from the pine trees and poplar trees gives everything an ugly greenish yellow tinge it's that bad

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SleepyShyCat February 23rd

@mytwistedsoul

So much snow D:

jumping-snow.gif

3 replies
mytwistedsoul OP February 24th

@SleepyShyCat  It was supposed to be a dusting lol. Somebody hit the 'nip before they did the forecast 😂


I bet that cat was surprised! 😲😁 
playing-snow-snow.gif
2 replies
SleepyShyCat February 24th

@mytwistedsoul

A dusting?? Lolcat-snow.gif

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP February 24th

@SleepyShyCat 😂That's what it felt like! 

cat-kitty.gif

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mytwistedsoul OP February 20th


something's disconnected

the signal's lost

the circuits are twisted 

nothing functions anymore

the code's too intertwined 

with a virus taking over 

a flaw in our design

an error in the memory

OVERLOAD in the mind

what're your thoughts Doc

can anything be saved

can't feel anything anymore

error error

failed to load

maybe force a reset

systems crashing down

defective to the core

erased this connection, 

but can't seem to restore 🐾


1 reply
slowdecline48 February 20th

"Mental Illness: the 21st Century Version"...

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP February 20th

@slowdecline48 That's a good title for it :)

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LoveMyMoonflowers February 20th

@mytwistedsoul

i like this soul 💜 this is beautiful and i do resonate with this tbh :') you express yourself through writing vvv well 💜

2 replies
mytwistedsoul OP February 20th

@LoveMyMoonflowers I'm glad you like it but I'm sorry it resonates with you :( It's not easy when your system is crashing and you don't know what to do to fix it :/

*Offers safe bear hugs* 

1 reply
LoveMyMoonflowers February 20th

@mytwistedsoul

*hugs back* 💜

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ThePizza February 24th

@mytwistedsoul

*waves to A*

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP March 7th

@ThePizza hii 😊 🐾

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mytwistedsoul OP March 7th

it takes hold

there may not be enough time

for thoughts to take shape

there's no feeling left

deep within my chest


alone and abandoned 

pray these walls hold

taste the silence

a weakened condition 

built by design

never ending


keep close

and for a moment

thoughts take shape

don’t let them break you

save your breath

it's pointless

no feeling in these bones

there is nothing left


depression, anxiety

it's a virus

crippling

passively overtaking 

corrupting in essence

destroying your mind

dismantling your soul

leaves you broken

afraid

alone

always

promising 

I can send you home 🐾



1 reply
slowdecline48 March 7th

@mytwistedsoul Man...that's too familiar for comfort....

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mytwistedsoul OP March 9th
mytwistedsoul OP April 6th

Soooo.....  I'm gonna d*sappear for alittle. My head has been pretty f*cked up the past few months and I can't seem to get it straight. I haven't been myself for what feels like a very long time. Things have been pretty bad and with all the different emotions coming from different angles - I'm exhausted. Between the stress and depression and chaos - I'm floundering most days.  I'm - lost. And idk how to get me back. It's gotten hard to talk about it. Some of its just that I don't think I should feel this way. It's hard to explain the sh*t that goes on in my head and tbh I worry about the stigma attached to it lately and I really don't have the energy to explain

So to quote John Muir - into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul 

Be gentle with yourselves and your thoughts Love to you all 💙❤️💙❤️ 

Later - J

4 replies
mytwistedsoul OP April 6th

@mytwistedsoul *future reference - the censor doesn't like the word disappear in certain sentences. Placement I guess 🤪 this place *smh* I swear 😐

@mytwistedsoul 🥺 me will miss you Soul 🥺 you'll be in my thoughts and im a tag away for you always friend ❤

your always there for everyone and tbh ive been feeling things aren't the best on your end too so lowkey glad you taking time for yourself but Soul friend you never leave us alone when we are struggling and me wanna say that you don't need to be alone with your stuff also 🥺 me knows it's hard talking about certain things at times and yeah it's just scary and uncomfy to mention anything about our feelings or the truth about how we doing but your feelings are valid and idk what stigma but just that you'll always find Optibear in your corner ❤ i trust you and me believes in you 🥺 

sends lots of luvvv and squeeziee you tightly ❤ be gentle with you ok? we can try 🥺 

me sitting with you ... but you don't need to say anything or yeah do anything... im just here.... but you can take your time with everything ❤

sends more luvvvv

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP April 25th

@Optimisticempath   OptiBear Idk what to say 🥹 I missed you ❤️ you're always so sweet and kind ❤️ Not just to me but to everyone. You truly are a beautiful person with such a great big heart. I wonder if you have any idea just how many lives you touch here. This is such a sweet message. Thank you - for everything. For being here - for being my friend and for being your wonderful self ❤️ Lots and lots of love to you and many many squeezies ❤️❤️

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slowdecline48 April 7th

@mytwistedsoul Good luck, man. Fix your head as well as you can... If you plan on coming back, I look forward to it. If not, then may you have fair winds & following seas.

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP April 25th

@slowdecline48 Thanks Slow - I tightened a few loose screws and replaced some lost marbles and I think it's as good as I can get it for now lol 

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mikenai April 20th

Hey twistedsoul, not sure if you read this in the near future. But it is good to hear that you noticed it and needed the break.


Please take as much time as you need. Recover and come back stronger. Take care.

1 reply
mytwistedsoul OP April 25th

@mikenai Thanks Mike :) It was good to take a break and really nice to see you here when I came back 

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