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In The Gloaming TW *just in case*

mytwistedsoul November 7th, 2019
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With the tragic loss of the feed and after much debate and discussion. It's been decided to create a new thread. Soul space so to speak. A journal of sorts.

A place where I can dump some of the nonsense that goes on in my head.

While replies are welcome - they aren't necessary.

2836
mytwistedsoul OP February 3rd
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@amiableBunny4016 It is a really good line :) ๐Ÿ’™ I'm glad you liked the poem

LoveMyMoonflowers February 1st
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@mytwistedsoul

:') i love this ๐Ÿ’œ itโ€™s lovely, soul buddy. you write so beautifully ๐Ÿ’•ย 

mytwistedsoul OP February 3rd
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@LoveMyMoonflowers I'm glad you liked it ๐Ÿ’™

LoveMyMoonflowers February 3rd
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@mytwistedsoul

๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’œ

mytwistedsoul OP February 3rd
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What we do in our free time :)

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LoveMyMoonflowers February 3rd
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@mytwistedsoul

omg. those are so beautifully made ๐Ÿ’™ i especially love the second one ^-^ they look so cosy and lovely. ๐Ÿ’œย 

mytwistedsoul OP February 3rd
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@LoveMyMoonflowers Aww thank you! ๐Ÿ’™ That's my favorite too ๐Ÿ˜„ It came together so niceย 

LoveMyMoonflowers February 3rd
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@mytwistedsoul

it really did ๐Ÿ’œ

SleepyShyCat February 23rd
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@mytwistedsoul

So cool!! I'm impressed ๐Ÿ˜ธ

mytwistedsoul OP February 24th
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@SleepyShyCat Thank you! ๐Ÿ˜Š

mytwistedsoul OP February 3rd
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Flavor of the day

New medicine - Control Freak

mytwistedsoul OP February 12th
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slowdecline48 February 13th
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@mytwistedsoul I can so relate to some of those...

slowdecline48 February 14th
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This evening's yoga pose is "Porcelain Throne Contemplation"...

mytwistedsoul OP February 15th
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@slowdecline48 Did you know that toilet yoga is a thing? Because I did not. Imagine my surprise ๐Ÿ˜‚

slowdecline48 February 15th
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๐Ÿ˜† Actually I didn't either, until now!...

I'll bet the breathing pattern can be difficult to do. ๐Ÿค“

mytwistedsoul OP February 15th
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@slowdecline48 ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

mytwistedsoul OP February 13th
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WTF is this?ย 

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Alittle rain they said. Maybe a dusting they said. Liars! I hate winter

It does look pretty though doesn't it? ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

slowdecline48 February 13th
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You must be up north!...

mytwistedsoul OP February 13th
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@slowdecline48 I am lol! In PA close to the NY border :)

slowdecline48 February 14th
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That's cool! I have family in the northeast, though not exactly where you are.

Do you go to New York often?...have heard the upstate region is beautiful at certain times of year & very different from the Big Apple.

mytwistedsoul OP February 15th
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@slowdecline48ย  It's been a while since I went up to NY but yeah it is beautiful. Especially in the fall when the leaves change. Spring is nice too with all the new growth. But you won't catch me anywhere close to Big Apple - especially now with all thats going on there

If you have allergies though you would hate spring time here. The pollen from the pine trees and poplar trees gives everything an ugly greenish yellow tinge it's that bad

SleepyShyCat February 23rd
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@mytwistedsoul

So much snow D:

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mytwistedsoul OP February 24th
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@SleepyShyCatย  It was supposed to be a dusting lol. Somebody hit the 'nip before they did the forecast ๐Ÿ˜‚


I bet that cat was surprised! ๐Ÿ˜ฒ๐Ÿ˜ย 
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SleepyShyCat February 24th
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@mytwistedsoul

A dusting?? Lolcat-snow.gif

mytwistedsoul OP February 24th
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@SleepyShyCat ๐Ÿ˜‚That's what it felt like!ย 

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mytwistedsoul OP February 20th
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something's disconnected

the signal's lost

the circuits are twistedย 

nothing functions anymore

the code's too intertwinedย 

with a virus taking overย 

a flaw in our design

an error in the memory

OVERLOAD in the mind

what're your thoughts Doc

can anything be saved

can't feel anything anymore

error error

failed to load

maybe force a reset

systems crashing down

defective to the core

erased this connection,ย 

but can't seem to restore ๐Ÿพ


slowdecline48 February 20th
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"Mental Illness: the 21st Century Version"...

mytwistedsoul OP February 20th
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@slowdecline48 That's a good title for it :)

LoveMyMoonflowers February 20th
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@mytwistedsoul

i like this soul ๐Ÿ’œ this is beautiful and i do resonate with this tbh :') you express yourself through writing vvv well ๐Ÿ’œ

mytwistedsoul OP February 20th
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@LoveMyMoonflowers I'm glad you like it but I'm sorry it resonates with you :( It's not easy when your system is crashing and you don't know what to do to fix it :/

*Offers safe bear hugs*ย 

LoveMyMoonflowers February 20th
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@mytwistedsoul

*hugs back* ๐Ÿ’œ

ThePizza February 24th
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@mytwistedsoul

*waves to A*

mytwistedsoul OP March 7th
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@ThePizza hii ๐Ÿ˜Š ๐Ÿพ

mytwistedsoul OP March 7th
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it takes hold

there may not be enough time

for thoughts to take shape

there's no feeling left

deep within my chest


alone and abandonedย 

pray these walls hold

taste the silence

a weakened conditionย 

built by design

never ending


keep close

and for a moment

thoughts take shape

donโ€™t let them break you

save your breath

it's pointless

no feeling in these bones

there is nothing left


depression, anxiety

it's a virus

crippling

passively overtakingย 

corrupting in essence

destroying your mind

dismantling your soul

leaves you broken

afraid

alone

always

promisingย 

I can send you home ๐Ÿพ



slowdecline48 March 7th
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@mytwistedsoul Man...that's too familiar for comfort....

mytwistedsoul OP March 9th
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mytwistedsoul OP April 6th
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Soooo.....ย  I'm gonna d*sappear for alittle. My head has been pretty f*cked up the past few months and I can't seem to get it straight. I haven't been myself for what feels like a very long time. Things have been pretty bad and with all the different emotions coming from different angles - I'm exhausted. Between the stress and depression and chaos - I'm floundering most days.ย  I'm - lost. And idk how to get me back. It's gotten hard to talk about it. Some of its just that I don't think I should feel this way. It's hard to explain the sh*t that goes on in my head and tbh I worry about the stigma attached to it lately and I really don't have the energy to explain

So to quote John Muir - into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soulย 

Be gentle with yourselves and your thoughts Love to you all ๐Ÿ’™โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’™โค๏ธย 

Later - J

mytwistedsoul OP April 6th
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@mytwistedsoul *future reference - the censor doesn't like the word disappear in certain sentences. Placement I guess ๐Ÿคช this place *smh* I swear ๐Ÿ˜

Optimisticempath April 6th
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@mytwistedsoul ๐Ÿฅบ me will miss you Soul ๐Ÿฅบ you'll be in my thoughts and im a tag away for you always friend โค

your always there for everyone and tbh ive been feeling things aren't the best on your end too so lowkey glad you taking time for yourself but Soul friend you never leave us alone when we are struggling and me wanna say that you don't need to be alone with your stuff also ๐Ÿฅบ me knows it's hard talking about certain things at times and yeah it's just scary and uncomfy to mention anything about our feelings or the truth about how we doing but your feelings are valid and idk what stigma but just that you'll always find Optibear in your corner โค i trust you and me believes in you ๐Ÿฅบย 

sends lots of luvvv and squeeziee you tightly โค be gentle with you ok? we can try ๐Ÿฅบย 

me sitting with you ... but you don't need to say anything or yeah do anything... im just here.... but you can take your time with everything โค

sends more luvvvv