In The Gloaming TW *just in case*

It's all about positivity here. Whether it's real or fake. Think positive. Smile and think positive thoughts. I mean - dont get me wrong if you're happy and you know it clap your hands lol. But if you force it - it's fake. Forcing it takes alot of energy to maintain which makes you feel worse. If we were all truly positive and happy would we actually be here? I say - be you - good - bad. Be true to yourself

Oh god - that was positive wasnt it? See! Its contagious - someones slipping things into the koolaid

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8FwnY284RE

Flight Paths - Erasing the Grey

Don't make a move
Dancing around the truth
Hold tightly to the bitter end
Lost in the blue
Emotional abuse
Where sorrow is your only friend
Love at first sight
Broken in two
Fight to survive
Nothing to lose
And I've seen it all before
The other side of me
On fire at the door
No lock without a key
When you can't take anymore
The flames will set you free
Erasing the gray dying light
Fear, love, and war
It's no concern of yours
To stop the walls from caving in
Behind closed doors
Falling on your own sword
Fighting the same battles again
Love at first sight
Broken in two
Fight to survive
Nothing to lose
And I've seen it all before
The other side of me
On fire at the door
No lock without a key
When you can't take anymore
The flames will set you free
Erasing the gray
Erasing the gray dying light
(I've seen it all before)
I've seen it all before
Yeah!
And I've seen it all before
The other side of me
On fire at the door
No lock without a key
When you can't take anymore
The flames will set you free
Erasing the gray
Erasing the gray
Erasing the gray dying light

Wow instant post and panic

We need some rocks in here to hide under

hey it worked! Thank you @NoneTheWiser

You shine my boy, she said. You shine like a million suns. You may be damaged and broken unlike any other. But I'll tell you a secret if you'll lend me your ear. With a hand on my cheek and tears in her eyes she said, at least you aren't your fucking mother.

On my mind -

Words are kind of - missing - or - maybe not. Maybe it's just not having any faith in them or maybe there's too many and I'm not sure where to start

There's a ball of anxiety - it's huge. Makes me feel sick. Most of the weekend was spent waiting - waiting and waiting - on the alert. Watchful - fearful - of the original Red Queen and her flying monkeys. I still heard about it anyway. How I'm a horrible person for not doing this or that - not sending a card - not calling

Let's mix some dread and depression with the ball of anxiety - so not only is it huge but it's heavy. Everyone knows about the dogs - they both have health issues in some way or another. One has joint issues and there's been signs that they're getting worse and she takes all sorts of stuff for them - has for years. Welactin and Dasuquin with the ocassional pain meds. Massages and heating pads on days when it's really bad. Early this morning - while standing in the kitchen - the stairs are right there to go upstairs. Standing in the kitchen getting rocket fuel - when there was the undeniable sound of a body coming down the last few steps - way too fast. Coffee spilled - cup broke and a dash to go five foot and there she was - laying on the landing - tail wagging like crazy and a big goofy grin on her face - like - oops watch that last step - it's a doozy. The arthritis is getting worse in her front legs - and Idk if the front just gave out or couldn't keep up with the back ones. Maybe it was asleep - Idk. We've noticed before that sometimes it drags alittle - doesn't get lifted as high as the other one. The vet has said to just keep an eye on her and if she gets worse - bring her in - but there's only so much they can do with joint issues. So there's fear - looming. We'll make some adjustments here - try to avoid the big steps - come in what we call the ramp room when we're downstairs and go the long way to get upstairs - where there's only five steps instead of twenty - but the fear is looming - looming and lurking. Sorrythat seems to be on repeat - looming fear and there's thoughts of - I don't want to do this - not again. Other thoughts of - this is why we shouldn't care about things it only tears you in piece when you have to let them go

Wow - seems like a panic attack is coming

We need chickens - why you may ask

Let me show you lol

Theyare theyare🐤🐥🐓🐔🤗😁😀

Called my female woofs "Linda"s so my grandmother was upset that my Linda was afyer the little yellow chicks and she told me "she is hunting and eating them"

And Ianswered:

"Look, Linda she is just gathering them together, in her caring mouth she catches and carries them...see, now all the chicks are in one place thanks to Linda and you worried she would eat them..."

My grandmother smiled...

I lost two Lindas...

I shouldn't be afraid to sleep. Never afraid of the dark. Sometimes I think I hear things or feel the bed move. Idk - something in the room feels like it changes. I'm not sure How to explain it.

Grow up J - stop being a pussy all the time

Besides the dogs would let me know -