In The Gloaming TW *just in case*

Once again they are behind the times

Too little too late

Where were they when the BS started?

And another thing - lol now I'm like winter

Seriously though - I think I may have fell off the wagon. I could've been pushed too I probably jumped though tbh. It ok though I've been really pretty good though lately - yeah? Yeah - no worries

And none of it really matters. None of us. - just numbers. - slots filled. A box checked. Idk if you take a step back you can see it more clearly. I think she was right there is alot of not so sincere sincerity. Alot is overlooked - intentional? Possibly - ignore - probably. Thats ok - I needed a fresh reminder of my place in the world. Awesome

Damn I need to stay off here

On my mind -

Was alittle depressed earlier - now it's alittle worse

Emotional and Idk why - well I do some of it but - man I hate crying

IDk - under it - is alittle nervous feeling

Sort of feel - adrift comes to mind - alone

There's things I understand but I still have thoughts that make me feel selfish and childish in someways
it's hard to set down that sense of security

I get angry alot of times because - well in all honesty - I will never have what alot of people have - for the most part I can accept it. I don't have all that bad of a life. I mean I know it could be alot worse. But there are times when I still feel angry

Made the poor dogs wait long enough - especially since I'm just staring at the screen - thinking of all the things I want to say but won't

I just realized - I need to pay better attention and I should have known better. I don't allways read where the thread came from - just the title of it. And I assumed - Ya know? Well we all know what that means.
And while it still sort of applies - I should have know it wasn't what I thought it was - because techinally it goes back to the not caring and just being a number. If no one did anything about it or reminded any one of anything months ago - why would they now? Nope - my bad - it was about the virus

Sometimes - I step in things unknowingly. Ever do that? You know - that whole hey what seems to be the problem? And then they kill the messenger

I'm alittle over sensitive today - emotional at inopportune times - I really do hate crying - it leeches more energy and my tank is running on fumes. I tend to just stick some electrical tape over the gauge and ignore that red flashing light

⏸ pause

f*ck

One word says so much

Arguments

Not brain storms - thunder thoughts

I don't like the face in the mirror. Sort of came to the conclusion that I'm a passive aggressive manipulative b*astard. I say things without thinking and I hurt people. I don't think it's intentional but does it matter if the end result is the same? If people get hurt - does it really matter how?

Silent Theory - Before the Storm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWYbnB9EgjI