A Space For The Unsaid (Personal Diary)

@mytwistedsoul 💕💕

sending hugs and lots of luvvv Soul ❤ thinking of chu 🤗

@Optimisticempath *sending hugs and big squeezies and much love to you too OptiBear ❤️😊❤️ Thank you

@mytwistedsoul big squeeezieess back Soul ❤ how is youu? 🤗 hope september treats you well ❤

@Optimisticempath Thank you! ❤️ It's been hot 🥵 here. But the weather is going to break this weekend I think. I have tbh depression is kicking my butt 😞 I can't seem to shake it. How is you? I've been worried about you - I hope it's ok to say that. I mean I don't want you to worry that I worry 😅 or maybe make you think that you gotta fake anything. I just care about you OptiBear

@mytwistedsoul

the latter message really made me smile so much Soul 🥺 i completely get you... feeling worried because we care but not wanting to worry the other person because we are worrying about them lmao what is this even 🤯 but i get it a 100 % because i feel as you do too 🥺 thankchu for caring for me Soul... i seem to have forgotten what it might feel to be cared for .. but me appreciates you so much for making me feel so cared for like always ... ❤ your the bestest friend me could ever ask for .. even better 🥺 me worries about you too because me cares about you too and always praying for you ❤

how is me.. i don't really known Soul... it's too much effort into knowing how i really am and then i know it's not a good answer so ill have to idk? work on it? and me doesn't want to do anything...im feeling tired of existing and im pretty sure im not even doing it right lol just yeah..here..and being someway😅

depression is really the worst :( im sorry it's been hard to shake off lately but you are allowed to take the time you need Soul .... its not easy to shake depression away when too much seems to go around us and maybe more inside us ❤ im here for you if you need spacey to talksiees or just sitting together ... we can lounge on comfy beanieees 🥰 me also here to remind chu that you're trying your best and hopefully you can continue to brave through the tough days ❤ nobody needs to ask more from you oki, just being patient with yourself and gentle while you deal with things 🥺 sends lots of luvvsss and tight squeezieesss💕💕

the weather is hot yeah 😮 did it change at your place over the weekend? it's been weird here .. sometimes hot, sometimes raining and sometimes chilly ... mostly at night tho ☺

@Optimisticempath Tbh I'm not sure what that is either lol 🤪

@unassumingPeach6421 that's really sweet thank you 💕 how are you?

and you know what?? ironically enough, what keeps me going on days it is hardest to ... even a little... is the hope that someday ill be resting peacefully ... finally

sometimes I try really hard to remind myself to just breathe 😅 funny to need that sort of a reminder but at least it allows me to be here still D:

@Optimisticempath

*🌈🧸 sit with milky bear🥛🧸*

@VictoriaLove7 so creative with emojis victory 😮thank you for sitting with me 🌈🧸🥺 hope your doing well?

@Optimisticempath

Milky bear 🥛🧸 I'm learning the 🌈 🧸 emoji from you ☺

I'm okayish.. how are you, Milky? 🥛🧸

@VictoriaLove7 🌈🧸 me too okayish I think

@Optimisticempath

Why only okay ish, milky? 🥛🧸😧

I talked with a bunny earlier and I realized it's been alittle since I left a hug for a special Bear ❤️ Been thinking of you OptiBear

@mytwistedsoul 🥺 soul always being the bestest ever 🤗 me thinking of chu too and vv happy to see you always and hug you ❤ and you called me special bear 😭😭 youuuu are vvv special Soul im so grateful for you always *biggest squeezieeee🤗🤗

sends lots of luvvsss to Soul ❤❤❤❤

@Optimisticempath You are a special Bear ❤️ I know things like that can be hard to believe. I know compliments are hard too. You really are an amazing and wonderful person. Gosh there's so much I could say about the person you are 😊 One day you'll smile at the reflection you see in the mirror. One day you'll be proud of yourself for all you've overcome. One day you'll love yourself as much as we love you. That is my wish for you ❤️

@mytwistedsoul 🥺🥺 Soul how are you always so full of kindness and how do you always have the most heart warming things to say 🥺

I have such a hard time believing people usually.. specially if they say something nice ... but whenever you tell me something, i try vvv hard to believe ... you just have a way of sounding so genuine and pure and just like  someone who has good intentions and good thoughts for everyone and only wants best for them and I want to believe you because you make me sound like a nicer person that some one would want around 🥺 it's still hard but it really means a lot to me how you pick me up always being as genuinely kind and thoughtful always and it just warms my heart sm I can't even explain ❤ you mean lots to me Soul ❤ you have made my world feel better , worth staying in so often ❤ you may not even realise😅 but you bring so much hope and light to my life and idk sometimes it's scaryto think someone would care but I'm just really grateful for you and it means more to me than any words could ever say ❤ 

I have so much love and so much respect for you and so much more love for you ❤ things in life haven't been kind to you either but you continue pushing forward and also bring hope to so many of us, you hold our hands, sit with us and hug us when needed and you are just someone everyone can count on ❤ you're a true blessing Soul, I don't say this lightly... I really pray for your days to be happier, kinder, better so much 🥺 i could collect just one teeny bit of kindness from every single living being in the universe and give it to you and you know what??? I think that would be less too! you deserve more and more and so much more kindness ❤ *biggest squeezieeeeeee 

how's you doing soul?

me read about your doggo in some post and me just wants to be here with you and squeeziee tighttt🥺 

@Optimisticempath I'm glad you try to believe what I say. I know it's not easy too do. It means a lot to me that you try. I know those harsh voices in your head are hard to ignore and it's often just easier to accept and believe the bad things people say because it fits the past narrative. But - what if they're wrong? Not just alittle wrong but totally wrong? I'm finding that there are some people who can never see the good. You could find a cure for cancer and be a brain surgeon and they wouldn't say a word. But forget something or fall short of their expectations and they break you down and tear you apart 😞

@Optimisticempath

@ZendagiMigzaraaa hi thanks for the hugs so cute 🥺 and your kitty pfp made me smile 😁

@Optimisticempath

*sending a little glitter of appreciation to you to let you know I notice you and i care for you*💛

click here!

Love,

Bunny

@amiableBunny4016 bunwee making me cry 🥺🥺🥺 this is vvv thoughtful of you bunwee thank you so much it means so much to me 😭🥺 saving the beary cute picture 💕 *hugs back tight and sends so much luvvv to you 🤗 me often thinking of you too and always wishing you better days 🥺 you are the best bunwee💕💕 here for you if you wanna talk or just sit or something 😅

just another sleep less night being spent on thoughts and tears .... at this point idk if i even care 💀

wonderong tho... randomly ... why is it so difficult with emotions 🤡 idk who taught me to hold back my emotions ... lately even worse .... there's no sense of it .... idk how did learn that its not nice to cry ... or who taught me to not cry ... or that it's always suposed to be under the blanket... or behind the doors or during showers .... and to instantly swallow the biggest lumps in my throat when my heart hurts ... idk who made me think it's not ok to cry ... not ok to cry in front of someone ... not ok to feel .. idk if it's a who or a what ... cant remember ... thinking its things people normally learn as children and idk if I missed any classes or attended the wrong ones lmao 🤡 because clearly... missed so much and it shows.. ... dont want to remember tbh but just wow ... how we learn things and allow it to become a part of us ... become us ... slowly 💀

it's just not fun tho ...remembering in parts but not fully ... trying to make sense of things but failing ... a wholw lot of blur and idk what to do 😖

it's difficult also talking to someone ...ifeel im scared of what might come out if i do? even i dont know what might and that's the scariest part .... there's so much inside..most of it buried so deep it doesn't come up often but there's flashes and traces and little sneak peak reminders of it being there still ... and it feels like being drowned all over again ... a constant fight between gasping for air.... remembering to gasp for air and staying afloat ... we try tho ..

mhmmm head hurts already... yay or whatever!

i can't typeee....💀 sorry for the errors and stuff ...

@Optimisticempath

Is okie ❤️ this is your space. We here for you 

wtf happened here?????! what's up with all the posts 😳

this place is becoming more stressful every passing day fr😖

we cry cry till we ... you know?? what rhymes here 🤖

@Optimisticempath

*Sending Opti hugs if okay* ❤️

@amiableBunny4016 Bunwee hugs always okayyy🥺 hugs bunwee tightt🤗 hows you bunwee? me thinking of chu ❤

@Optimisticempath

I'm fine :') how are you? ❤️ thinking of Chu too *hugs is always okay* 

@amiableBunny4016

feels silly to say it aloud but who even cares right 😅 but me thinks im usually lying when i say im fine because it feels easier and safer than explaining the not fine stuff so sometimes i wonder if others also really fine fine when they say they fine... but i so hope you're actually fine bunwee but you also deserve being more than fine you deserve feeling awesome because you are awesome 💕

if you no really fine fine sometimes you still welcome and accepted and luvved here oki?🤗 

idk what i just rambled here lol...im sorry your just too amazing and you deserve to know that you matter and you are luvved🥺💕💕

how am i? idk tbh i just am 😅 ok i think tho D: we went out today and i had some ice cream even tho it was a bit chilly outside but it was nice haha ☺ how was day for you? if you wanna share <3 hugs always okay yes yes 🤗

@Optimisticempath

I hear ya. Its easy to say we are fine. Its easy to pretend to be okay and it's okay to not have okay days and feel low ❤️ sometimes we all need a little cry or to be sad for a while and that's totally understandable. Things go up and down in life just like the waves in the sea... The way the waves overlap with the shore. We like to bury our thoughts in the sand ❤️

But anyways, like my teacher said, when your sitting in the dark look for those little sparkles of brightness. I know its not there right now, but it will show up one day ❤️

Aww im glad you got some ice cream! Sounds like a little fun hey? ❤️ I'm proud of you Opti and I really wish I could hug you right now. Things been up and down but you have always been there for me and I appreciate you and love *you* for you. 

Me is okie. 

*Sending hugs and good vibes* 🤗

P.s. I have missed you lots recently ❤️

@amiableBunny4016 the reply button poof again 🥺

bunwee makes me cry being so kind and caring towards me and and vv luvving also and me can't tell how much me grateful for bunwee🥺

I've missed you too and I think I lost our thread  :( ill find it but if you do can you tag me in it? me enjoys talking to you always and here for you 💕💕💕

yes ice cream time is fun time 🥰 bunwee likes ice cream? :0 me hopes bunwee has fun soonsiee also 🥺 

your teacher's message is so beautiful 🥺 me luvsss it and it should be a quote 💕 thank you for sharing 🤗 huggles you❤

my depressed self being dragged over to the deeper, darker end by my friend depression 🙂👍🏼 

do we at least  have some tasty treats on the other side?? 😔

@Optimisticempath

Milky bear 🥛🧸 how are you feeling now? 😟