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unassumingPeach6421
3 43,624 M Crossing Mileposts 4
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts4,162 Forum posts262 Forum upvotes357 Current upvotes357 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceMay 16, 2021
Recent forum posts
Support group for family trauma and abuse
Trauma Support / by unassumingPeach6421
Last post
 August 4th
...See more Hello, I tried to talk to an anonymous person about abuse online. I couldn't find a chat for family abuse, so I waited to speak to someone at a domestic abuse hotline. They said they weren't trained in family abuse. Then I decided I might journal. I look for a journal and all I see are journals for domestic abuse, not family abuse. I am in full support of the domestic abuse advocacy and support. I completely understand relationships can be so messy. That being said, I really want a support group for family, so why not here? I recently figured out I had childhood and present trauma directly from my family and I don't know how to heal yet, but I can begin to understand myself better. Understanding that I've been through abuse validated me, it gave me peace and understanding. It also gave me guilt like, no one will believe me, maybe it's all in my head? What if everything is my fault? What if I am the problem? And I have to say, that is the trauma speaking. But enough about me, if you can relate, want to add your thoughts, opinions, or share you stories please join! Please share, let us help and validate each other and try to give each other the healing we might really need. <<I am not a trained professional nor is a trained professional a part of this, yet>> If any qualified person wants to join our chat, please do! That's enough for now, I look forward to checking back in if you experience family abuse and want to share, welcome to the group!
Autistic Regression
Autism Support / by unassumingPeach6421
Last post
 August 5th
...See more The summer's almost over, the nightmare will be over soon. I know I'm not lazy, but if I want to avoid this nightmare again, I need to work harder and smarter. I need to get my butt to work. Anyways, I came home this summer. Sometimes it feels like everyone expects me to be down, stupid, and unsuccessful. I embrace that identity a bit at home because nothing seems to change, and here's why. After a month at home I always experience an autistic regression. With the stress and the panic I just can't take it anymore. My family and I don't see eye to eye. The worst is when they insult me. I knew coming home that they wouldn't respect me. They have an overwhelming to do list of social agenda's I don't know about until the 20 minutes before they start almost EVERY DAY that usually involve noise levels I find difficult to manage. Then there's the grandmother with dementia we all have to drop anything we're doing at any given moment to watch and she's a flight risk so I mean WATCH. I haven't been myself. I only have one functioning day in the week. The rest I'm stuck, can't move. I can't think sometimes I just don't think and god at some points I wanted to unalive myself. I didn't of course, I didn't really want to, but I sure thought about it. I just wanted the pain to go away. I asked for accommodations from my family and they told me what I was asking would require them to change too much of who they are. I guess to live at home I have to sacrifice who I am instead. I always feel like a shell of myself. 
Princess Treatment
Poetry / by unassumingPeach6421
Last post
 June 17th
...See more I come in the room and you don’t look up, I ask you questions that you pretend not to hear, I sleep downstairs because you don’t like when I talk or touch the lights, you wake me up and ask for my help, then tell me I’m not helping and you do it yourself, when did you ask what I wanted? when did you think about my needs? where’s my crown? I deserve princess treatment yet you see me as a peasant, why? why do you speak so condescendingly towards me? did you really think you were the only royalty?
Here
Poetry / by unassumingPeach6421
Last post
 May 28th
...See more I'm here I'm sorry I'm always late I'm here I'm sorry I went on without you I'm sorry I missed you and didn't tell you I'm sorry I spiral My apologies are turtles are all the way down I'm sorry I was lied to I'm sorry I wasn't strong I'm sorry I was wrong
love
Poetry / by unassumingPeach6421
Last post
 May 28th
...See more I deserve love, love deserves me, we could be happy love and I I could be lifted only to fall I could lose love and feel like I lost it all, I could love her with all that I had I could miss her I could fear I'm not enough for her Fear she could do better Fear I don't deserve love because I've had far worse And thought that I'm worse than love ever could be I'm at the edge the chasm of the unknown I've seen everything I could without her I know she misses me It's good to be missed Because I miss her too
Free
Poetry / by unassumingPeach6421
Last post
 June 15th
...See more I'm free again, new name new city and a single pen I'm free to dash and see the world never mind I'm just a girl It can be as dangerous as I thought I feel homesick with all these strangers I'm used to being the strangest one I was the moon among stars I have drawn more attention than I thought kind faces welcome me to town they love me without reason and I never knew how to show love how to feel it I was chained to a name, a place, the people who knew me, who loved me what if I'm trapped again?
Speed
Poetry / by unassumingPeach6421
Last post
 June 15th
...See more Go faster Try harder You should be here be smarter You're fading down with traffic all around horns honk you're left dazed spiraling exhaust the cement's vibrating heat and life there is no gentle leaf or diligent ant trapped in the traffic only a flickering light and beeping horns
I wrote a song (I ate some gummies though so don't expect incredible art)
Poetry / by unassumingPeach6421
Last post
 May 28th
...See more I got high by myself didn't need anybody else I hear sounds outside my room The creaking of the door I see them walking back and forth what is it all for? I have always been someone for someone, I always felt guilty for being alone, there was always something I hadn't done I wish I had known I was enough I did have friends I was loved and I was known, I was never alone Making it on my own didn't mean making it alone I apologized when I was stabbed in the back, felt bad for breathing when I ran out of breath, I cried all alone when no one was home Because I didn't want anyone to know what is it all for? I have always been someone for someone, I always felt guilty for being alone, there was always something I hadn't done I wish I had known I was enough I did have friends I was loved and I was known, I was never alone Making it on my own didn't mean making it alone I always felt I owed guys something Like my body wasn't my own I felt kindness had to be paid life was my debt I wanted to die but I couldn't stop I was someone's that's all I was what was it all for? I never text back I never say hi I feel so alone but I don't even try instead I'm here watching a show chatting online, wasting a life like it wasn't mine I have always been someone for someone, I always felt guilty for being alone, there was always something I hadn't done I wish I had known I was enough I did have friends I was loved and I was known, I was never alone Making it on my own didn't mean making it alone I know it's hard to come to the truth to find the reasons that made you you and say I understand who you were and why I am I forgive those that caused me all this pain what is it all for? To be honest I really don't know I'll hurt again but at least I'll know I'm enough I have friends when things get tough this is not the end I'm alive And it's good to be the person I always wanted to be All the lights in the apartment are off, The summer breeze is gone and the night hums, I'm all alone, It's not my fault, I should've texted my friends but it's okay, all the lights turn off and the noises fade
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