Guidelines: Age Regression in Rooms
As our platform evolves, we occasionally need to revisit our guidelines and make adjustments for the sake of our community as a whole. The topic of age regression and age as it relates to alters has posed some challenges within group support rooms, impacting both moderation efforts and the ability to facilitate supportive and inclusive conversations within the rooms. To address this, we are implementing the following rule, in line with our age policy:
All members must have a host age and current alter age that falls within the established age requirements for participation on 7 Cups.
Teen hosts need to be between 13-17 and alters need to also be between 13-17.
If a teen has an alter or age regression that is out of that range (13-17), that alter or age regression cannot be (participate) on the site. This is because there have been repeated conversations about how alters and regressors are considered individuals, and so the site guidelines need to apply to them too.
Adult hosts need to be 18+ and so do their alters/regressors.
Main reasons for this rule:
Safety: Ensuring that members and their alters/regressors are within the specified age range helps protect individuals from exposure to age-inappropriate content and interactions.
Support Capabilities: Our volunteers may not have the training or expertise to effectively support members who present as children. Sticking to the age guidelines ensures that our support remains within the scope of our capabilities.
We understand that these are coping methods beyond the control of the individual. Still, ultimately we feel these limits are necessary to maintain a safe and supportive environment for as many members as possible in the group spaces. Note: These rules apply to interactions in the group rooms and anyone not in the correct age group. You may continue to utilize the support of 1:1 chats.
For further DID support, there is a dedicated forum space to share and make connections with members and listeners under Dissociation & Related Disorders.
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Update September 30: Co-fronting (when users with DID have two of their alters "on" at the same time) is the equivalent of two people using the same account and is prohibited in rooms.
@Heather225
Hi H! 😊 ❤️ Thank you for recognizing the need for this! Wondering if 1-1 in pm's as adult listener to adult listener when reaching out for help and support could please fall under this umbrella?
*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
@SparkyGizmo It's always been my understanding that it was at the discretion of the listener. If they're uncomfortable talking with littles they can ask the little to find an older part to come forward. I might be mistaken on that though.
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you Soul! 😊 ❤️ You are spot on for Listener - Member chats. I for one have no problems with supporting others that suffer from DID or that age regress and I have supported many in the past. ❤️ My question was more in relation to some of my additional roles here on the platform that involve Listener - Listener interaction and boundaries.
Interestingly enough, I posed the question and 15 minutes later, I was like......that was a silly question and found my own resolution to the query. I actually feel bad for having asked it and taking up additional space here in the thread. The answer was inside of me all along.
I appreciate you my sweet friend! ❤️ Thank you for always being so very helpful to everyone here on the platform!
*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️
@SparkyGizmo Tbh I have to lol because I totally over thought what you wrote and misunderstood and was thinking you meant member instead of listener 😅 so yeah lol alot of assumptions on my part. 😬 I'm sorry about that. I was thinking I shouldn't have said anything shortly after I wrote you lol
@mytwistedsoul
No worries at all my friend! 😊 ❤️ I promise you, that I was confident that you were thinking my question was in regard to Listener-Member interactions. That was my first "go to". And I commend you! You were spot on *high fives* 😊 You know your stuff and you are an amazing teammate, someone whom I deeply respect and admire! ❤️
I'm glad that you stepped in and provided the response that you did for others to see if they join the thread as others may have read my question most quickly and could have had the very same thought!
It is very easy to get confused around here and asking the questions again...deeper meaning as in "do you mean listener or member" can be most helpful as It's something that I must do in my roles here on the platform for clarification. Trust me, it's not just you, it's all of us! And that question is a very good one as the answer can make all of the difference in how to proceed! If I had a nickel for every time I have asked "do you mean member or listener"? well, maybe I'd have quite a few nickels, lol 😊 😁
I took no umbrage at all to your response my, sweet friend! ❤️ If you see it happening in front of you here on the platform, of course it is your business and your replies are important! I love learning and receiving feedback. We all learn together! 💡
In addition, my second "go to" was knowing you as a human being, knowing of your kindness to me and everyone else across the platform. You and I have quite the history together working along side of one another in the forum areas and I know you are here to never harm but only to help! I'm probably one of your biggest fans here! I'm a huge fan of your work here on the platform. No "knee jerk" reaction from me! Thank you for your gentle reply as well! ❤️
Soul, you sooooooooooo rock! *high fives* 😊 big *hugs* ❤️ and keep rockin' the house my friend! You got the good stuff! I am most grateful for you! ❤️
@SparkyGizmo Thank you ❤️ Tbh I'm not quite sure what to say! I'm pretty sure I blushed a few times 😅
@Heather225 While I understand the need for rules and people needing to follow them. I find this contradictory because on one hand you say that it's understood that these "coping methods" are beyond the control of the individual but yet the individual is supposed to control who does what and where?
@mytwistedsoul
I wholeheartedly agree with everything you wrote here 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers Thank you Moon! 💙
@mytwistedsoul I don't mod in chatrooms, but I spoke up against a past related policy (that was then revoked) so here are my thoughts on this.
- I don't really know enough about age regression in general to understand how something that would not be appropriate for say an 8 year old affect someone who has age regressed to 8. I am going with the assumption that an adult based room isn't appropriate for someone who is not in the head space of an adult.
I do know that in adult rooms it can be uncomfortable at times when having a supportive, mature chat and someone is acting much younger. A personal mute can be used, but there's still the question of how is this person who is still viewing the topic being affected.
Spending a fair bit of time in the disability room, there are people who have developmental disabilities (which is separate from this) but there is still the concern about what topics are appropriate for someone. In general, I hope that someone who developmentally isn't able to handle mature topics would have guidance and supervision as needed when using the internet, including with 7cups rooms, just as they would have in other aspects of their life. For someone who age regresses, I am less certain that needed guidance is in place. While I don't mean this as judgmental, - experiences with 7cups suggests to me that in those experiencing age regression proper in-person support, including guidance/supervision needs are often not being met.
Not all coping skills are appropriate when in a room, and I support that. One example is active self-harm. Sometimes things change while someone is in a room, and it can be appropriate to ask someone to leave, kindly and to direct to an appropriate area.
As a member, if I have a feeling someone is young, I ask to clarify how old they are. I have given out the wrong age group information and called in a mod if that was not followed. This has occurred with adults before who I later found out had DID. Before, had I known they were in fact an adult, I wouldn't have done this as it was allowed, now if I am aware it's an aspect of age-regression I wouldn't give the wrong age group information, but would let someone know of the policy and direct.
_ I would assume this policy applies to anyone who is not in the correct age group, regardless of the reason - biological age or any type of age regression. The original post could be edited so it's inclusive of all of those situations, with giving DID and others as examples (assuming @CompassionateArtist 's information that PTSD and BPD as possible causes to be correct) but not specifying DID otherwise.
I agree, further clarification would be helpful!
I agree with this wholeheartedly, providing a link with the information only goes but so far, personally my alters are all over the age of 17, so it does not apply with me. However, I do agree with everything they said for safety. I also can not help but wonder who is implementing this? Are the mods going to be doing this change? Are the host being left responsible during each session to handle it?
@mytwistedsoul
I agree.
@Heather225
The difficulty with this is that most multiples do not have control over switching. That means that those that can't control switches or aren't aware they have parts effectively cannot use this site. Surely it would be kinder to welcome littles in designated spaces. These parts already feel isolated in society. Most do not understand that they want to come out and play with kids of their own age, which is not accepted with an adult body. It would be a shame if they cannot be themselves here also, especially as shame is a big hurdle to overcome. Acceptance is the way to show trauma survivors that there is safety after trauma.
Legally speaking they are in the correctly aged body, and often they are wiser than their ages. I'm also curious why this has been specifically aimed at DID members when borderline personality disorder and PTSD also includes age regression...
Practically speaking as well, how do external others know the age of parts? Can someone make a teen account for teen parts? I don't know how this is implementable?
I also agree with this too, littles whom are regressing from under the age of 13, should have their own space like the middles have their space which is the 13-17. Middles is actually the correct term to use when it comes to d.i.d and age regression.
@PhoenixButterfly97
Im in love with the term "middle"
It gives those whom regress younger a different group to settle within, then those who regress to middle ages. It healthily separates the two💖
@CompassionateArtist
I agree with this. One of our alters was recently asked to leave the room because they are 18. We thought that all alters were welcomed no matter the age because since the body is the right age, the alters are usually acting accordingly to that age. I also agree that littles should have their space.
@Heather225
What about teens with adult alters (I have an alter who is 18, he has been in the room since he was 17, all commods said it was fine)
Also why all of a sudden? I know it's strange to ask that but it seems kind of sudden.
Does this rule still apply if a little alter has an in age range alter with them in co?
Im sorry to say I'm quite disappointed with this new rule, although it is expected. Some people don't respect the rules. it just sucks that those of us who do pay the price.
To further expand on this, I cannot control my switching or my regressing and it is just a little sad that my safe space is changing. We aren't accepted at home.
I will say my little alters and my regressed self are never without an teen or adult counter part
@AvyIsKing From what I understand, according to the initial post, "If a teen has an alter or age regression that is out of that range (13-17), that alter or age regression cannot be (participate) on the site." The same applies to adults, if a part is under the age of 18 they can't participate on site. With the exception of 1-1 chats.
@mytwistedsoul
damn. Just damn.
@AvyIsKing I second that!
@AvyIsKing
same
@Heather225 this post lowkey makes it sound like age regression and DID/OSDD is a choice and something we do willingly when it's definitely not something we choose to do or have control over. It feels very unwelcoming and unsupportive for a website what focuses on support. It's not like we have control of the ages or can just change the age of a part. And also some parts might behave like an adult when they are for example a teen part and it wouldn't even be noticeable for the rest of the room. Also is it unclear if this rule also counts for group support or also for 1-1 support.
@WendyBird14 I can agree with this whole heartedly, the post really does make it seem like having any dissociative disorder is an option, and lowkey upsetting.
@PhoenixButterfly97
There is nothing about it that is a choice. And it's really frustrating
@AvyIsKing Agreed, having a disorder like this is not a choice. An it is extremely difficult and as a nonbinary person with such disorder. I always have to remind people it is she/they because there is a male alter, but I have more females then males. He is the only male out of 5 of us
@PhoenixButterfly97
I feel bad for my female alters because we have alot of male ones xD out of the main 10 I think 4 of us are female lol.
Well I'm genderfluid.
It's an extremely difficult thing to live qith and I might not know the adult side but as long as you don't talk in too much little talk, the teens are very accepting. Actually many teens love to hang around the littles because they are so forgiving and loving and accepting
@AvyIsKing Honestly not even going to lie it is, because when Jax comes out he is sooo different from us girls, and alot of people think it's "faking" or it being "choice". I have literally been told by some that at some point my alters are going to have to go away and run as a single unit, like what even does that mean. Just because you heal and recover it does not take away the dissociate disorder smh.
@PhoenixButterfly97 yeah its kinda disgusting to think that we chose to cope like this. And it's stupid to think we only have parts that are the same age as the body like ?? These things are created in childhood so many of us will have younger parts:/
@WendyBird14
Yeah agreed. And like what about alters that belong in the adult room (oldest we have in our main 10 is 21) for teens? I have literally one other alters who is same age as body besides me the host and I just idk what to do
@AvyIsKing there is no way they can even mod this, how they going to check the ages of each part that's fronting? I assume what they don't want to deal with is littles behavior.
@WendyBird14
Agreed.
This rule came up when we had a couple littles in the teen room talking in little speech that no one could understand.
It's really exclusive. As if systems don't feel excluded enough
@WendyBird14 Agreed 100%
@Heather225
I don't know much about the legal system in USA but it feels like a rushed implementation of some legal concerns.
To my understanding the "age" of parts are not comparable to age as we know it. A young part in an adult body can't be compared with a child without DID on the same "age". A young part can developed much more abilities than a child in their age.
I believe it does more harm to exclude people with did from the adult site when they are legally adults.
Besides I can't think of any content that might be harmful for young parts that isn't forbidden by chat rules already.
Honestly I cannot see how this adds anything but discrimination to this site. What about those who struggle with English or come across childish for other reasons? How are mods going to decide someone's age? This guideline can only be moderated subjectively, and thus different moderators are going to handle this entirely different. It seems like this is targeted at making it easy to ban complexly dissociative people from your website and thus reducing moderation work, not for the benefit of the people using the site. There are multiple chat rooms, the ability to mute and many other options open to people who do not want to deal with younger parts, if people choose not to use those tools that is on them.
Also you labeled this about age regression and then talked about young parts. They are not the same thing and the way you are conflating them makes it sound much more like a choice than a disorder that one cannot control. Of course the person has to take responsibility for the parts and if they break other moderated rules that should not matter they should be moderated as one whole or everything gets way too complex. However having a rule about the age of parts that interact is so subjective yet gives so much power I do not see how it can be used for anything other than abuse.
@Lilibuth12
I agree with you wholeheartedly!
@Lilibuth12
i agree.
@mytwistedsoul
❤️❤️❤️
If littles and smaller alters follow the rules (which most of them do) shouldn't they be allowed?
whats to stop you guys from banning this to banning autistic people? Im just saying the reasons for not having younger members (its not about safety its about the mods not being able to handle some of us, which 99% of us do follow the rules), these rules also apply to a lot of neurodivergent members i have encountered with, especially when they are hyper. its not something they can control so why would they be banned?
but we cant ban autisitic people because that's not what cups is about right?
also im not being ableist im gathering perspective xD
@AvyIsKing I think maybe most of it involves age? To join cups as a teen - people need to be 13 and older. So any parts within that age range for you would be welcome here. With adult parts they wouldn't be welcome because you have a teen account. For me it's the opposite. My adult parts are welcome but the others under 18 aren't because this is an adult account
@mytwistedsoul
Its just quite sad because when we joined and when my counter part turned 18 we got permission to be here.
We are all part of a system that is 15. It doesn't matter what age I identity as.
Because then I could say I identify as 50 and get an oldie acc
@AvyIsKing It is sad. There should be some way that can work. Maybe to take into account previous good behavior? Maybe change the age for teens?
@AvyIsKing I think the rules they had prior where the account (teen or adult) is based on the body's age was good. It's for safety. I can see bad people misusing it if you can say I identify as a teen (as an adult) to get access to teens and that can be dangerous. Tho the new guidelines are dumb where you cannot have parts outside of the body's account range (so no teen parts allowed on adult account etc) I personally think this guideline was added because of little speech which can be harder to moderate and can be confusing to the rest of the room. But in that case they should guide the little to 1-1 and not completely ban parts that aren't the same age as the body.
@WendyBird14
Agreed 110%
@AvyIsKing
Agreed
@AvyIsKing
I agree I want this rule changed
We need people to realize this is a coping mechanism and not just a choice, I understand you all thinking about safety but did it ever cross your mind how others would have to suffer due to this one guideline; I’m sorry but I disagree with this completely.
@ty47
I agree with you 100% Ty 💛
@ty47
i completely agree with you. having things with friends here on cups while regressed is probably the only thing that keeps me regressed which helps me cope. if it weren't for cups and being here while regressed i would probably still be in regression block and not get that coping.
@ty47
I agree.
We aren't hurting anyone??? Yk
@AvyIsKing
Exactly, mop.
