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ty47
1 25,408 M Aiming High 5
PathStep 17 Compassion hearts984 Forum posts36 Forum upvotes50 Current upvotes50 Age GroupTeen Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceAugust 16, 2023
Bio

I need sleep and a therapist šŸ˜µā€šŸ’«āœØ

I donā€™t like counselors, they are mean


Any pronouns


Trigger word: Fall in (Scouts trauma āœØ)


My favorite stuffed animal is Casey, my giant pink teddy


I struggle with panic attacks, low self confidence, depressive episodes, anger management issues.


Some feelings

are like old familiar friends.


Depression's like that for me.


When I'm not in it, I don't remember it.


I remember it's bad.


I remember the darkness,

but it'sā€¦ different to feel it again.


It's the difference between

remembering what a room looks like


and actually walking through the door.


Being inside it again.


Feeling it.


When the episode starts,

it can be slow at first.


An intrusive thought,


"I don't wanna be here,"

but then it's gone.


You bat it away like a fly or a bad smell.


When it hits you fully though,

when you're really in it, it's everything.


It's who you are, you're nothing else.


On the outside, you look the same,

smiling and pretending is so much work,


but inside, it's a different story.


You start to hate yourself.


You're so alone, so unbelievably alone.Ā 


And you can be with someone you love, but you're not really with them.


We think we know what's going on with other people, but we don't.


You never really know what's going on inside someone else's head.


Everyone's fighting a battle

you can't see.


We all have blind spots.


Recent forum posts
ty47 profile picture
I want them to heal
Self-Harm Recovery / by ty47
Last post
August 25th, 2023
...See more Sometimes I look around and realize the holes are finally patched up and finally stable but the angerā€™s still there and wanna break them again; if theyā€™re gone, how can we remember the earthquake that broke them in the first place.I want it to be stable but I donā€™t want people to think itā€™s always been peonies and roses , I want them ti remember the struggle and the amount of times I wish the roof would just crumble and take me with it
ty47 profile picture
Know it all too well šŸ™
Depression Support / by ty47
Last post
June 27th
...See more Some feelings are like old familiar friends. Depression's like that for me. When I'm not in it, I don't remember it. I remember it's bad. I remember the darkness, but it'sā€¦ different to feel it again. It's the difference between remembering what a room looks like and actually walking through the door. Being inside it again. Feeling it. When the episode starts, it can be slow at first. An intrusive thought, "I don't wanna be here," but then it's gone. You bat it away like a fly or a bad smell. When it hits you fully though, when you're really in it, it's everything. It's who you are, you're nothing else. On the outside, you look the same, smiling and pretending is so much work, but inside, it's a different story. You start to hate yourself. You're so alone, so unbelievably alone. And you can be with someone you love, but you're not really with them. We think we know what's going on with other people, but we don't. You never really know what's going on inside someone else's head. Everyone's fighting a battle you can't see. We all have blind - Marcus
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