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WinterRose9
1 27,296 M Aiming High 8
PathStep 58 Compassion hearts4,990 Forum posts298 Forum upvotes466 Current upvotes466 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceApril 6, 2023
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im a 25 yr old toddler mom

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Finally freed journal thread
Journals & Diaries / by WinterRose9
Last post
 November 13th, 2023
...See more This thread will contain a lot of topic sensitive things, so for the faint of heart please scroll by.. 🤗 I feel so free today, like I can not shake the feeling of the joy I feel. My daughter's bio got married and personally. For awhile, I was angry because he did not treat our child nor I right while we were there, but knowing that he is now married. I feel so much lighter, so much weight gone and taken off my shoulders. I didn't cry tears of sorrow, I cried tears of happiness because the person that hurt me while pregnant is no longer near me and has his attention elsewhere.. 
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She's Still There book
Trauma Support / by WinterRose9
Last post
 April 21st
...See more Tw: Healing/Recovery/Personal Growth/Owning my truth/Talks of many different types of abuses  Recently I went to Goodwill with my fiancé on Sunday during my split shift at work and purchased the book, "She's Still There" by Chrystal Evans Hurst. I would like to share the rawness of my healing with you all during this journey with this book. Let's begin 🤗.   p.s Please feel free to join in and answer the questions for yourself 💖 Chapter 1: Fight for Your life This chapter had me thinking back to when I was a single mother of my now toddler, back when she was an itty bitty baby. I had no job, and had gotten out two toxic relationships that have left me mentally depleted. I was down and always thinking it was going to remain this way. All I could do was cry and beat myself up mentally thinking that I was never going to amount to anything (words that came from her bio dad). Then one day, I was blessed with a job, but that was short lived, because I was becoming emotionally depleted and down again from the constant dehumanizing from her bio dad. I lost myself for a moment. Then a couple of months later, I decided it was time for a change. I started to exercise, journal, repeat daily affirmations and move in with my grandparents for the time being. Little did I know those movements of change were going to be the best choices I ever made for myself.  Reflections from this chapter:  Remember: "You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously"-Chrystal Hurst. Reflect:  1. Have you ever had a "break my legs, God" moment? What did that moment teach you?  - Yes, I had plenty of those moments and the best example I can provide is when I had lost all of my "friends" due to my mental downfall. Granted I was not in the best place so I said somethings that were mean. However, it did not give any of them a right to kick me down further and make fun of me in the ways they had when I was open and exposed still from all of the trauma that was happening that I never got to say because I was either talked over or ignored. As I was beginning to climb that treacherous mountain of healing, I noticed a trend those so called "friends" all carried, they all never wanted to get the help for themselves that they needed and enjoyed swimming in their own chaos. I was no longer at that level and reminded myself that this was a lesson to teach me that, I was capable of making it in life with/without them in the picture.  2. Do you believe in the idea of a masterpiece for your life? Why or why not? - I believe that I am the artist of my life, and I can paint the journey of my choosing, even if there is mistakes on the canvas. You can still make something beautiful out of those mistakes. Beauty is always in the eye of the beholder.  3. What made you pick up this book? What is happening in your life that makes you want to hit the reset button?  - I picked this book up because it called out to me. An well what has been happening in my life is that I still working through being SA'ed by daughter's bio father when I was still pregnant with her, as well as learning to manage through the hurt that I felt of being told by him that was basically insignificant to when I went down to retrieve my daughter from him after he weaponized her against me, using the cops as a way to get what he wanted on his terms. He is blocked out of our lives now but it's the lingering emotions that I am still working through. An my fiancé wanted to help me achieve my goals for healing/ recovery. He is very supportive of me and I am very blessed to have him. 
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Venting
Relationship Stress / by WinterRose9
Last post
 October 13th, 2023
...See more Tw: possible stalking/obsessive behavior/ codependent personality  So I needed to vent so I took it here, my fiancé's ex girlfriend keeps I guess you can say "stalking" his social sites, because he has blocked numerous accounts on one, and a few more recently. Just last night his ex was found lurking on his social site, on this social site he does not make any posts or share anything publicly unless it's through the direct messages. So putting two and two together, I believe that she was trying to get back into his life. However this is the same person that also told him to "leave her alone" when he caught on to what she was trying to do again, which upset her and they blocked each other. He has stayed true to his word not only as my partner, but for himself. She was a negative person, so he made it known he did not want her back around before blocking. Here's where my problem lies, she is also the same person that was messaging my daughter's bio behind my current fiancé's back. This is not the first time that she has tried this attempt, so I knew from before that I could not trust her. Therefore do not want her in my daughter's life nor mine. The reason why I say she has obsessive personality is because of the numerous accounts that she has made just to reach out to him and honestly I have no insecurities when it comes to her, an I know my fiancé loves me and our daughter, but I'm getting agitated because she does not stay gone and flow through with his wishes. I do not want to be the person that goes into her direct messages like teenager level and confront her an ask her intentions. Any tips would be nice, and some encouraging words are welcomed🥹
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Venting
Anxiety Support / by WinterRose9
Last post
 October 6th, 2023
...See more Tw: Mentally drained/ Overwhelmed/ Burnout I'm starting to feel irritated because my job expects us to just handle 600+ with no additional break, yes there is a lunch and a 15 however these calls surpass 600 daily because of the time period we are in and it is alot stress sometimes, an these are one of the moments. Where i just want to scream and yell because the team leads do not get it, at least I feel they don't. I don't want to gaslight my own feelings..
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