Group Support Prompt #3: What are your 3 expectations from the Group Support Chats?

@ASilentObserver

Obs, I hope you weren't put off by humor.

In the expectation photo, you can see the cat, even the toe buds, so cute and transparent.

In the reality, cats like smooth, cool surfaces, so it's very likely this Beauty of a Calico Cat just likes the sensation of being in the toilet bowl. But we, looking through societal expectations, see that it's a toilet bowl! And, so we may inwardly "want" the cat to be out of the toilet bowl. But, for the cat, it might just be the comfortable place for right now. I was trying to capture that.

I love the Sharing Circle and the Group chats so I hope you know I do think they can go in the right direction many of the times, I would say when there is a composition of people who: 1. stay, 2. attend 3. support and also share when it's their turn and 4. a facilitator really helps.

@ASilentObserver

Dear Obs,

I wish I had explained the images better because then you might like the second image as well.

The first is kind of self-explanatory I guess.

In the second image, taken from a series which is about how young children can use dried flowers to make magnificent works of art, shows a young child carefully touching and looking over a dead flower. I think in fact that at times our Sharing Circles do work in this way, that someone Shares, and we are able to "look over" and support that person at the moment in time they are, and that the context of the child turning the dead flower into something, transforming it into something new, is the part this photo doesn't capture completely. However, I have felt it, when the Sharing Circle works its magic!

Love and Courage, Tas

@PatienceImpatiens awww I love you too ❤and I agree tiny is always so nice to talk to😁

@ASilentObserver like this, this is what I generally say. Hi ....... I'm lola ❤ welcome to cups ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤

then I ask how they are today. And ask questions or make comments to help them open up and feel more comfortable. 

it's always hard to find your voice in group settings sometimes so just try to include them, keep a little check on them if their being to quiet. Just gotta show a bit of kindness and effort

As always your discussions offer so much for reflection and that’s great. Thank you so the engaging posts, Obs ❤️

For me it’s all about intent - really exploring do you have the right attitude towards others , your work

Are you doing what your preaching? That’s the question

@VioletVeritas yeah violet - I’ve seen you in the rooms and you speak in a loving way of your faith . The scripture that you share with us is amazing to hear for me personally - I appreciate it ❤️

@ASilentObserverI agree we want to support everyone but there are times where a person needs a listener or the sharing circle so they can fully be heard. If we allow people to become the focal point of the topic (not open chat,) then people who wanted and needed to talk about the topic and their situation may be deprived of support.

It is not black and white when this is happening so it is one of the more difficult aspects for me to define when someone needs support that the topic chat can give them and when their need is greater than the topic chat can give without depriving others of their opportunity. To me hosting is an art form not a cut and dry science. 

@ASilentObserver

Thank you for asking! 😊 ❤️ I enjoy noticing the group dynamics and how it is that one or two or more can effect the tone of the room. It's fascinating to see the "shift" if there is one. 

The feelings I may have for wanting to be a part of any room can shift dependent upon the behavior of others and to what degree (how extreme) that behavior is. Many can bring with them a very positive influence and attitude. Many can bring a sense of teamwork, relationship building, community building and a communal effort. Some bring with them a sense of calm that washes over the room. 

It's nice to see these teammates enter the rooms. These are typically highly consistent people that one can look forward to seeing. Lovely moments filled with gratitude for their special talents and gifts. 

One can always have an "off" day or many off days. If you have worked with someone for quite a while, know that their heart is in the right place ❤️ you can offer them help and support and know that they are simply human as we all are and that everyone deserves their space and time. 

It's nice to be helpful and kind to others in all of the rooms. Some days one can feel quite neutral in being a part of a room. There may be no highs, no lows and in those times, the experience is also enjoyable. Still happy that one helped and contributed and got the opportunity to spend time with their teammates. ❤️

Unfortunately, one can find others in the rooms that are highly negative towards others, habitual offenders for breaking room rules, may enter the rooms consistently with a very clear agenda to be disruptive and in a variety of different ways.

Some may be the eternal "debaters" for discussing topics that aren't allowed. Some may enjoy bringing up polarizing topics consistently, in an effort to see, how in fact they may have the power to change the dynamics of the room and in a negative way.

For some of these types, I can only imagine that it's fun for them to see the divide once they "plant the seed" for divisiveness, to see a previously happy situation/well working room into an unhappy one as that brings them joy as they had influence and control over others. They get to instigate the conflict, then back away as they slowly see the room crash and burn and be like "who me"? For these types, I still greet them, hope for the best that it won't happen that day, but yet be highly aware of not contributing to their diatribe. 

"Selective hearing" can be quite beneficial, lol 😊 It's good to not take the "bait". I can still remain hopeful that things will work out for the best, keep engaging with others or leave the room as this is a very big place and plenty to keep us busy around here.  

Yup, again, group dynamics can be pretty fascinating. I heard it said once that "Everyone is a joy to see. Some when they are coming towards you and some when you see them walking away". Good to reach for the positivity as well as to try and see the humor as best one can in certain situations. 

*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️

All your discussions are GOLD observer ð¤©ð¤©ð¤©ð¤©ð¤© They are so well-thought out!!

@ASilentObserver

Well, I forgot the particulars but someone tried a joke that was - in my view - rather innocuous and I was surprised to read the mod's admonition. I too had once made a funny comment about Covid - if I remember that right - and was told off. Yes, the wording from the mod was kind and everything, but I felt as if this was a kindergarten class and no matter how you wrap it, a admonition is what it is. I thought to myself that the chatroom rules seem to be made for the potential snowflakes, hence no real conversation possible.  This is probably because the internet is now full of people spitting venom at each other and 7cups tries hard to prevent this on their website.

@GoldenRuleJG thank you. It was a member powered sharing circle, we didn't have a host and the members were attacking someone for a screw up they made and wanted support for. They acknowledged what they did was wrong and we're hurting, and needed support and instead got attacked for it and accused of the story not even being real. It took me, a mod and a host who entered the room to host the next hour to pick the fight apart

@GoldenRuleJG Thank you for sharing your experience and reflection. It sounds like communication and ensuring all feel heard with compassion is important to you. You are dedicated to learning and growth, which is admirable. Please know that you are not alone in seeking to understand different perspectives.