Weekly Prompt #35: Why do we often struggle to prioritize our mental health over other responsibilities?

@kamrynk1224 I get it you are feeling overwhelmed by all the responsibilities you have. Prioritizing your mental health can feel challenging when there's so much else to attend to. What are some small steps you could take to make time for your mental health?

Culture is partly to blame. Mental health is never really talked about or promoted the way physical health is. There's good and bad mental health. I know through personal experience stigma towards mental illness is still very much a problem. There are always commercials, ads, etc. promoting some gym to join, or things about dieting. Nothing about mental exercising. If people got into that they would find a good connection with the connection between the exercise and diet always being talked about and good mental health. With bad mental health all the good physical aspects can go completely downhill, and people left without the answers communities should have been addressing all along. Mind and body are connected to each other. Neglect one and the other will suffer. 

@ASilentObserver

For me it is because I am autistic and everything seems equally important to my detail oriented brain. I'm planning to make myself some kind of chart to prioritise things in the right order. I'll probably base it on Maslows Hierachy of needs.

@LifeIsMyCanvas That sounds like a great idea, Canvas. Sometimes when we have a lot on our mind, breaking it down into smaller tasks can help us feel more in control. 

@ASilentObserver unless your autistic and your detailed oriented brain makes 10 thousand more tasks out of one to do list item 🤣 Then you get hyperfocus and do half of them and then realised ytou've focused on the wrong thing. So your starving hungry, needing to pee, and sleep for a week to recover from all that...

@LifeIsMyCanvas Those ten thousand other tasks are what I call side quests. And I wonder why it takes to long to get anything done. I'm always on a side quest

@mytwistedsoul

my side quests have side quests 🥷

@LifeIsMyCanvas Lol! I can believe that 😊 

@ASilentObserver 

Why do we often struggle to prioritize our mental health over other responsibilities?

There are a few reasons I can think of. 1. Mental health exists in that gray area. Some don't believe it is an illness. Some people try to use it as an excuse. In some places it is a taboo. In others, it's a label and a curse. Although there are definitions for different types of mental health issues, they vary from person to person. It is not as clear cut as treating a broken bone or a virus. 

For myself, culture had a lot to do with me seeking help. It's almost if my family was afraid to talk about it so they ignored my problems. Because there was no one to talk about it, I ended up keeping it inside. I was born before the term "self-care" was a thing. I never learned to care for myself. It was always the parents/elders came first or my children. 

In addition, most work places, even after Covid, do not recognize mental health as a legitimate excuse to miss work. It's difficult to take care of your mental health when you have responsibilities and you need to work to make money. What is interesting is that after Covid, schools have been more aware of mental health issues with the students. Unfortunately, the students know this and a significant number take advantage of it to get out of class. What is sad is that the schools do not support or address the mental health issues of the teachers and staff. 

On a scale of 1-10, I rate these discussions an 8. I have just started to respond to these posts and they are relevant to me. 

@NotAllHere713 It sounds like you have noticed societal factors contributing to the stigma around prioritizing mental health. It makes sense, especially when it's not clearly defined or understood by many. I agree it is quite common for schools to focus on student mental health but neglect supporting teachers' needs. How has this impacted you?

@ASilentObserver Lack of resources and lack of safety. 

@livedexperiences  feeling unsafe and lacking resources can really weigh heavily on us. What thoughts come up for you when you think about these challenges?

People consider it's considered normal to hide mental health issues in this hectic world whereas it does more harm by escalation of small issues into big one. And it takes time to work on oneself which is considered as selfish and time consuming as by others. Mental health is important as physical health, cause mind can create physical illness if mental health is compromised. Mind and body are connected.

@navyTalker73 I hear you how prioritizing mental health can sometimes feel selfish to others, but I think it is actually brave and important. How has hiding your struggles affected you in the past?

@ASilentObserver

I can not speak for others but I tend to push my mental health aside because I am afraid to tackle it alone or may make a mistake in trying to fix what is wrong with me. My motto is always that my mental illness will not define me and to do the best I can every day and remember no one is perfect 

@pamharley003 you are determined to live your life to the fullest despite facing challenges with your mental health. What thoughts come up when you consider tackling these struggles on your own?

@ASilentObserver

my thoughts vary from can i get past these struggles to I am determined to get past the struggles and learn how to deal with them should they come up again 

@ASilentObserver

Why do we often struggle to prioritize our mental health over other responsibilities? 

I'm not sure about it, I guess. I'm doing better to better my mental health and take care of myself but I was really struggling before. Mainly, because I felt ashamed about it. Needed breaks because something was too much to handle never really was received well. So, I got into a habit of just powering through until it became a physical problem. Then, I would be forced to take a break until the physical issues were resolved. 

@JollyRacher I can understand you struggled with prioritizing your mental health due to feeling ashamed after needing breaks. This led to you pushing yourself until physical problems arose. How did others react when you needed these breaks?

@ASilentObserver

Depends on the situation. If nothing was really going on it was okay, but if there was work to be done it's either seen as an excuse to get out of it or me overreacting. Which didn't help with the shame. Still, I'm doing a bit better so that's nice. 

People take their mental health less seriously because it isn't as "visible" or "tangible" as physical health problems. Poor mental health is often a direct cause of poor physical health many people experience. Chronic stress results in cardiovascular diseases and aids in strokes. I feel it's the lack of tangibility that has resulted in this area of health. Both good and bad mental health are both highly visible once you learn what you are looking at. 

@ThoughtLight I think you are right, sometimes we need to put more awareness on mental health so that people can understand how serious it is. What do you think can help raise awareness about mental health?

@ASilentObserver well healthcare companies cater a lot of marketing to the public over public health concerns. Mental health is very much a public health concern. Some advocating may need to be in order to get this matter addressed. 

@ASilentObserver Why do we often struggle to prioritize our mental health over other responsibilities? 

We tell ourselves it doesn't matter. Life goes on. Work needs to be done and bills need to be paid. There's expectations even if people say there isn't. It's just that they're unspoken expectations. 

If I do what I need or what feels right to me then other people pop up to say "what about them?" It's hard to look prioritize my mental health when those people want me to put their mental health above my own

@mytwistedsoul It feels like you have a lot on your mind. Feeling responsible for others' emotions can add extra stress. What matters most to you about prioritizing your mental health?

@ASilentObserver Thank you for your reply. There's always alot on my mind unfortunately

@mytwistedsoul I hear you how you feel like achieving good mental health can seem complicated, but please know your all steps are counting and we are all here with you to listen to and support you. 

@ASilentObserver 

Why do we often struggle to prioritize our mental health over other responsibilities?

I didn't decide to prioritize my mental health until recently. I made this decision because I felt that something was going to break and it would be me. Some of the struggles I had were 1. the person I am the closest to, does not believe in psychologist and therapists ( this is also the person at the root of my mental health issues- he also has issues he refuses to address.) 2. It is very difficult to find the right psychologist and therapist. you have to make an appointment with a complete stranger. In the past, the people that I went to for help didn't do anything. They just sat there and listened. 3. Another issue is trying to find the right person based on your insurance provider. You are limited to their list and many of them do not accept new patients or are booked for the next 3 months. 4. Many people (depending on their background) view mental health issues as a taboo subject so its difficult to get help because they don't know how to deal with it or even talk about it. 

@NotAllHere713 that feels like finding the right support has been challenging for you. What makes you think that something might break if you don't prioritize your mental health?

@ASilentObserver 

It's just a feeling that's been growing, like having a dark shadow following you. I have been controlling my emotions for so long that if something happens, I'll crack and fall apart. At other times I think about ways that I could pass so I don't have to suffer anymore. Sometimes it's wishful thinking. Most of the time its in the form of "what would happen if.... (some kind of accident)?" There is a term for this type of thinking. No. I don't plan on hurting myself. I think about how many people would miss me if I was gone. I don't think many people would notice, except my kids. I don't know what would happen to them if I'm gone.