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Loneliness on 7Cups
Hello guys
I have been on 7Cups for a little while and I have to say that, in some occasions, it has been helpful...in some others, it has been actually very frustrating.
I got here, as I believe many of you, searching for support, friendship, or, most likely, just someone to talk to. I live a very lonely life, in a desperately isolated place (an island with few hundreds inhabitants), and, unfortunately, I have several psychologic problems (or psychiatric?...who knows...) that developed after a not easy life. The last 3 years, especially, have just been a daily torture, a sequence of bad events that corroded me little by little. As I just wrote, I live on a little island, here we only have 2 little food stores, nothing else. Until few months ago, we didn't even have a general doctor, so, no chance to find any kind of help from professionals in the psychiatric/psychologic field. Once reached the bottom of my sorrow and despair, and having nobody that could help me, I found 7Cups.
I talked to some listeners, wrote here and there...and figured out so many times it feels like talking to myself...I wasn't able to build any stable "talking friendship", which is what I actually need. I feel like a throw stones to the void...just write sentences that maybe noone will ever read, and for sure, that noone will answer to.
I am pretty sure I am not the only one feeling like this here... I don't want this to sound like a complaint, 7Cups is anyway good, but I wish I could find someone who wants to just keep talking to me, and that wants to be listened.
Is my hope in vain?
I've been lucky to have a wonderful family, friends, and community with me. I definitely feel that loneliness, comes from myself, and I've never been in a relationship oddly as I get older I don't mind that because I've realized that I have wonderful people around me. I think what is bothering me the most is that I don't want to be with me, I'm not loving myself, being in the moment. I used to think I was so awkward and uhh this annoying kid but I'm just human, I guess I need to be alone and tell myself how wonderful I am.
@Shyness98 it's amazing that you know yourself so well that you have accepted your own version of a fulfilling life and know what to do be happy going forward π
it sounds like you've done all the hard work in forging your own path and surrounding yourself with a loving support network. You just have the last step of loving yourself and thinking that you are as awesome as you clearly are. I really think you'll get there soon π
I feel so alone. Even when I'm with other people. I feel hopeless. I have to be up in 4 hours for work and I haven't slept because because all these feelings inside make me have bad thoughts. I don't have any one to talk to about this.
does anyone want to talk to me not judge since a lot to deal with rgiht now i have a lot of stress
Due to covid-19 I've been quarantining with just one family member, and have become quite depressed. I started experiencing suicidal ideation, and am constantly resisting the urge to self-harm (as this was my go-to coping method in the past). I hate bringing this kind of thing up with my friends because it's such a big burden to put on them, so I thought I would seek help here.
Thanks for reading :) <3
Hi @imaginativeCucumber2000. Please feel free to talk here. We are here to listen. Don
@imaginativeCucumber2000 have you called a crisis line do you want me to look one up for you ? If so I need your state
@imaginativeCucumber2000
Hello, often bad thoughts and habits take birth from boredom, you don't have anything to do so your mind just starts to tackle in darker emotions. Maybe you feel stuck, have you tried to do some hobbies? something that engages your mind will increase your mood, for example painting by colours or molding something in play doh, something to experince with your hands :)
@imaginativeCucumber2000
Thank you so much for being open and honest. Don't worry, you won't be judged here. This is the kind of community where you can really express how you feel and hear others' experiences also. I definitely do feel like quarantine is making us all feel a lot more lonely than ever before, so I can understand what you mean. The best thing to remember is that even though you do feel lonely you definitely are not alone. I know it sounds cliche, but it is in fact the truth. Too many people feel this way now. The good news is that we can support each other through it. Take it one day at a time. Stay safe and God bless! π
I'm a 20 yo that never experienced true friendships. I had friends in the past but we grew apart while we gone on different paths to the point where they didn't want to contact me anymore. I had very strict parents so I didn't got to go out too much. In the end I never met a person to actually have deeper connections with, someone to hang out with, now that I have the freedom.
@azureCup8871 that's not true. you are so important in this world. you matter more than you realise.
7 Cups has been the place where I socially interact and get the joy out of helping others. It's a major win-win
Hello, i am Maddox but you can just call me Mad, Karma or Lucifer it's up to you...
I'm diagnosed with severe depression as well as severe social anxiety and may have arranging OCD, BPD and/or be a sociopath.
I deal with having a verbally abusive mother, neglective father and being FtM trans as well as many other uninteresting things.
I'm not exactly sure what i am supposed to say here so this will be all. Nice to meet all of you i guess...
@Karma8990
Hello Karma! Thank you so much for introducing yourself and sharing your story! It sounds like you're dealing with a lot right now, but if you ever need support, you have me and everyone else on 7 Cups behind you! Let me know if you ever need anyone to chat with! π
@Karma8990
Hi! Thank you for sharing your story, it is your courage, hope you do well!
@Karma8990 sounds like yiy havea lot of tough things to deal with. I hp[e yiu will get the support yiy need here. we know what you are experiencing.
@Karma8990 sounds like yiy havea lot of tough things to deal with. I hp[e yiu will get the support yiy need here. we know what you are experiencing.
Why are the people I'm most comfortable talking to never around to listen? They say they're gonna be there but I don't hear back or they're always busy.
I feel so alone and that no one cares about me unless it's convenient for them. What's the point?
And then people get upset when I express how angry I am that they aren't there like they said they'd be. Giving excuses like they can't control their schedules. Yes you can. If you care about people then you make time for them.
@courteousLunch82
That's true .... they have other priorities and they don't involve us, it's a choice.
@courteousLunch82
I dunno, I feel like it depends on what's going on in their lives. I couldn't expect my brothers to drop everything to help me, if they're looking after their kids, for example, or they're in work. And especially at the moment, when everyone is dealing with a lot.
It depends on the time of day too. I'd never call my parents in the middle of the night, even if that was when I needed support, because it's not reasonable.
It's not that they don't care, it's that they have their own lives and their own needs.
That's why places like this are good because you can come here for support at any time. Or a mental health helpline if you're in a crisis. I know it's not someone you know, but it's something.
@Rosa9570
hi I can relate to some of your feelings. I am detached from the world at this point it feels like. I am on disability and it helps with monthly expenses so that's good. I have a savings account so that's good too. I take walks, sing, listen to music, oh and I am attending an online degree now. I am blessed to be a blessing. I'm not gay and I want to have a family with me day.
thanks.
@courteousLunch82 After reading what Rosa said, that is kinda true. Not everyone is here 24/7 for you but what I do know is I try my best to be there for others. Maybe you and me can talk, idk. I have had moments where I got left on read and never answered back for a whole year. Some just say ok when things happen. At least I have one friend who does care. Not all the time he is there for me, but enough to keep me sane.
@courteousLunch82
same!
they are always there for me...until i need an ear or a shoulder to cry on or to even talk about me.
then...
where did they all go?
ugh!
You are not alone @courteousLunch82. I experience the exact same thing from people. When i am always there for people when they need me i never get any reciprocation back. That is why it is important to stay emotionally independent. I understand its easier said than done but we are all here to support each other
I am jay.. I have lived with depression for as long as I can remember, got worse as I became an adult, then went through 2 horrible marriages, 1 scary divorce and I think I have finally linked all my depression, anxiety to a verbally abusive mother, a father who was in the house, but not my life. After many chaotic years, I now have complex trauma, but I am still here, so it's all good, mostly..
@jr50 Hi Jay,
Browsing community and saw your post.
How are you doing?
@jr50
Hi Jay, thanks for sharing! I'm sorry to hear you've gone through such a hard time. I'm glad that you are able to see the positive through it. You are still here and still standing! Thats important to remember to keep yourself going. These challenges will make you a stronger person. Dont give up! Let's get through this together! Stay safe and God bless!
@jr50 I am happy to see how strong you are... Quite interesting.. also I am sorry for all the trauma you went through.. but it might have made you stronger..and congratulations for being better day by day..feel free to talk if you feel like talking or sharing anything...take care :)
Hello, I am new here. Struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life. Difficult to stay positive and feeling good about myself. For the last 12 years I have become vision impaired/legally blind. I would love to get to know others and offer any support possible. Looking forward to getting to know other members.
I've been having alot of issues lately and I just want to be accepted and loved but the last time I tried to hug the very person I call my 'safeplace' she pushed me away telling me I was being too clingy
@gentleThinker8969 hi there,
we all need a hug every once in a while and it's not clingy nor too clingy π
Just some are honest enough to acknowledge the basic need, some others are comfortable enough to show it, some others are generous enough to give when they're not the one in need.
And some others just too scared, too awkward or not sensitive enough to know it can mean so much to someone.
π€ sending hugs your way π€
I can undertsand how people are feeling, like most people, I have been struggling with a few things (work and the current world situation) but I could always rely on my small group of friends, now, I am not sure. We used to meet every Tuesday and/or Friday game or just chat, now, nothing. Seems like I have wasted my time and money doing what other people want only to be abandoned.
@rechnin
Hi there I have been struggling too with all this but always had anxiety. At present I'm struggling with that and depression. Are you from UK? Much love to you it is a very sad and lonely place to be this world right now xx
@Nwbie10
Sorry for the late reply.
Yes, I am in the UK. Thanks for the best wishes and hope your situiation get better soon.