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courteousLunch82
7,353 M Moving Along 6
PathStep 101 Compassion hearts144 Forum posts42 Forum upvotes49 Current upvotes49 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2022 Member sinceJanuary 14, 2015
Recent forum posts
Antidepressants
Family & Caregivers / by courteousLunch82
Last post
 December 27th, 2021
...See more Today my mother confronted me about the antidepressants she discovered I was taking. She had found them in my room as I was visiting for the holidays. "Why are you taking antidepressants?", She asked. I didn't know how to respond. Why else would I be taking them? Luckily due to the effectiveness of the meds I was able to respond calmly and not get defensive about how invasive she was being. But, really. Why else would I be taking them? I figured it was obvious due to my history and behaviors. Do I really hide it that well? Or is it just that people refuse to see what's right in front of them? (Relocated due to forum reconstruction 03/31/2022 @Sher217)
Friends until inconvenience
Relationship Stress / by courteousLunch82
Last post
 December 21st, 2021
...See more Recently I've had issues with communicating with a friend of mine and I learned that it was because he got a new girlfriend. He said he was sorry for not responding to my texts and that he wasn't "ignoring me" but was just busy. As he asked me how I was I explained that I had been trying to reach him because I had to go to the ER and stayed at the hospital for a week. Also that I have to have my next surgery very soon. I could tell he was being very distant and didn't ask me any questions about the situation. I feel he doesn't care about me anymore because he made a move on me and I declined because I was seeing someone else and I'm demiromantic-Asexual. But he said he understood and he wasn't hurt. But, I always felt that was a lie. He still hasn't responded to me and I feel like he's not going to unless I start it. So, I don't know if I should text him over the holidays just to be nice and see if there's anything left between us. I feel no one cares about me unless there's something they want from me.
Loneliness
Depression Support / by courteousLunch82
Last post
 March 15th, 2021
...See more Why is it that when I try to talk to people and I explain how I feel so alone they always guilt trip me and say it hurts them that I say I feel alone? They turn it around to make it about them. They don’t ask me why I feel alone. I’m serious when I say I have no one to talk to and this is why. I’m always listening to everyone else’s problems or helping them with their stuff but I feel I’m not allowed to talk or ask for help. Anyone else share this experience? What do you do?
Parasitic Mother
Family & Caregivers / by courteousLunch82
Last post
 February 6th, 2021
...See more I’m not sure what to do with my mother anymore. A week ago I stopped communication with her after a fight that was triggered by financial concerns brought up at an inappropriate time. I had just told her that I got a new weekend gig and I needed to go to bed early so I didn’t want to talk about it that night but she insisted we had to. After almost 2 hours of an exhausting conversation she told me I may be losing a large sum of money come tax season and to check with my accountant if anything could be done in preparation. “There’s nothing you can do about it but you need to call them on Monday. You should’ve looked into it earlier.” Now - I don’t know about you but - I DO NOT like hearing that I am not in control of something because that’s worrying I don’t need to add to my stress list. It makes me feel like I have no control over said thing. I prefer that if there’s nothing I can do, then don’t tell me until it gets here. But that second piece was what did it. First, she says it wasn’t in my control, but then she adds how I didn’t do something I should’ve. This left me confused and worried about what I missed and what the penalty would be. So, I spent an hour or so searching through my documents to see what I could’ve missed, why didn’t do something I should’ve, etc. I was in a panic and I broke down in tears. As I tried to calm myself down I organized my thoughts and recognized that this is a common occurrence; she takes a stressful topic, plays it off as nothing to worry about and then she plants one small seed of worry that she pins on me. She does this to take the worry off of her and plant it on someone else. A parasitic move. I became enraged. Then I did something I’ve never done. I called her back and just exploded at her. I told her how she made me feel, how she always does this. She doesn’t realized that when she releases her worry then she gives it to me and gives me the burden. I went on to explain and give examples of how she picks the worse times; inconsiderate of how it will effect me. I had to go to bed early to prep for the new gig and now I wouldn’t be able to sleep. I’d have rather learned this the next day after the gig because at least then I could afford to lose sleep. She told me I was overreacting, that I’m too emotional, and I don’t let her “help me”. I wanted to slap her though video chat when she said, “Breathe” and went on about how “I don’t let her help me.” - which was so far from the truth it wasn’t funny. She’s so invasive it’s impossible to keep her out even from half way across the country! My god I wanted to choke her though the screen. But I just hung up because I couldn’t take it anymore. She tried to call me back moments later, but I didn’t pick up. I put her on silent and didn’t reply. The next day she tried to casually text me, but I respectfully told her I didn’t want to talk. It wasn’t until I ordered something online that she texted me again asking why I bought a particular item (pet supplies). I felt this was an invasion of privacy and politely, but assertively, told her I didn’t have to answer that question. The texts stopped there. Since then I still have spoken with my father and sister, whom I think are just casually checking on me for her - because they never text/call me really (-_-). But that’s ok. I really would like an apology from her, but I know I’ll never get one. She always feels she did nothing wrong. Sorry for the long rant. Had to get this out. I appreciate you reading this.
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