Loneliness on 7Cups

@lilykwy

i feel that way, I need someone to share stuff with. I carry these overbearing concerns and worries around with me and they mount up and put me in places I dont want to be. Not easy to find or trust that person tho when your the way I am.

I feel completely lost. I dont really have anyone to talk to. Im really just dealing with loneliness and forgiveness. I dont know how to move forward. I feel like Im in this time paradox where no matter what I do, or what I say, or how hard I try, nothing will change and I feel stuck. I hope everyone does get better and I hope everyone has a good life. Thank you for listening to me.

@ForeverRain1998 what do you need to forgive yourself of?

@ForeverRain1998

Hey man, i can really relate to that i try so hard for people and at best we talk for a few weeks but they always leave, i would give up so much for my friends but i know they wouldnt do the same, im so scared that it will never change, because literally everytime i try the same thing happens and i just dont believe that it will suddenly change and someone will stay

I wish I was happy like other people seem to be. I have a boyfriend, who is great, but I don't want him to be the only person I have. People never hit me up, it is mostly me who makes an effort. It makes my relationships feel one sided. When people don't respond or if plans fall apart, it makes me feel worthless, like no one cares about me. I put myself out there sometimes but I feel like it mostly ends in failure. I do have some friends but the empty feeling still remains. I wish someone would give me chance. I just want a solid group of people that I can call family.

I feel alone, depressed and so on. I began hurting myself and I often thought about suicide. I am Tired of being bitched about behind my back. I need to talk with somebody.i can't talk with my Patents and friends. Last week friday i've lost my best friend He was kind of my brother. May somekne help me?

Wish I had a special person in my life. Life is so lonely at this moment I need to move and feel so broken.

I've been reading the earlier threads and I feel like I could have written many of them. I'm a weirdo intravert with mild depression and anxiety issues who missed the lessons on how to find/meet and connect with people and make friends. I have no family, except for my cats. I have one real friend where I live and she is in the middle of dealing with an insane personal crisis and has gone dark except for sporadic emails. Which is why- after a considerable gap, I returned to 7 Cups because I had nowhere else to turn.

I have been trying consistently and unsuccessfully to develop friendships but I can't even manage regular acquaintences. I often feel invisible when I go to events or meetups, and it seems that no one wants to know me. I know I have a lot to offer- as a friend and as a person- but it seems that no one other than my cats really is interested. I'm a good person- I'm an interesting conversationalist, I have a good sense of humour, I'm loyal, reliable, responsible, caring, empathetic. I have a lot of interests- but they don't mesh with most peoples. I feel very disconnected from my society and out of synch, culturally.

I don't do church, have a dog , a 9-5 job or like bars and I'm too old for clubs, which were never my thing even when I was younger. And I know that's how lots of people connect. i just wish I could find people close to my wavelength, but I'm starting to think it will never happen.

@ForcefulCranberry

i hear you, life or something like it seems like a trivial pursuit these days. Curing loneliness trying to meet new people and marketing yourself as someone of interest is difficult wen talking to people itself is a hardship.

Loneliness is something I have been struggling with. Even though I have family and associates/friends around, I am not able to express myself fully or confide in anyone because most cannot empathize or understand. The thought of someone being depressed or down and out due to life situations scares most and their suggestions or comments can do more harm than good.

So I deal with issues alone. Maintain a fake smile and keep up appearances when I can manage, but I dont get to vent or talk through my problems.

i guess the key to solving this is finding ways to heal myself and taking care of myself instead of solely focusing on caring for others that dont reciprocate.

it is nice to read others situations to know that I am not the only one!

i hope this community stays strong and continues to post. It gives us a small amount of comfort that is desperately needed.

❤️

I feel my anger and depression and panic attacks keep people way. The few that are decent I have so many walls up that they cannot get through. I just do not want to get betrayed and hurt again.

@Rebekahwriter13 same. My depression is under control right now and I

@Rebekahwriter13

I have amazing walls. Ive been building them since I was 12, at least. My problem is whenever i do manage to climb over a wall and reach out no one sees the effort it took to hoist myself up.

I know people like my mom and dad love me and want to help but they just dont get it and its not something easy to explain either.

Sometimes I'm afraid of how alone I feel, and how depressed I actually am.

@PinkVampires (I like your screenname. I would be purplevampire. LOL)

I completely understand about the loneliess and depression. It freaks me out whenever I try to let a wall down.

I also have depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and get anger. Ive kept people sway too. For years! I dont call the people I connected to years ago, I never feel like talking on the phone or am just too depressed to talk, or I know I cant talk about whats on my mind, which is all depressing, bad news, nobody wants to hear. So Ive isolated. I dont feel like connecting deeply with the people i meet any more. Ive been too hurt and let down too. I totally get what youre saying. @Rebekahwriter13

@selfdisciplinedCurrent1774 You know the irony, you connecting with me over not connecting. LOL

I'm sorry you have been depressed. I feel bad for my family who have to put up with me.

@selfdisciplinedCurrent1774

First time on 7 cups.

What you wrote is spot on. The frustrating thing is the biggest wall I built is for my boyfriend. I can't seem to tell him exactly or somewhat how I feel because he's the type not to believe there's such thing as depression or anything. Even if you slightly tell him he will say what are you going to do about it? That's the thing, there seem to be so much going on in my head, how can I do one thing hoping to "fix" depression

I can honestly say that some of what you are dealing with so am I. I keep a wall up to protect myself and my feelings. Betrayal hurts like nothing ever experienced. I get depressed and sometyjust want to cry not knowing why. Sometimes I feel Im better off by myself. I dont know just thoughts that run through my head from time to time @Rebekahwriter13

@Pumpkin01 And the thoughts are always worst than reality.

@Rebekahwriter13

I agree rebekahwriter13, I have those issues also and have a wall up cause of how people can judge and hurt you at the same time

It's really difficult for me to open up to people. I found a great listener and we talked for a year, becoming very close friends. We helped each other a lot and talked about all kinds of different things. Now her account is gone and I've been having a meltdown ever since because I have nobody else to go to. I needed her. I feel lonely, abandened, hopeless and worried about her. She was a once in a lifetime friend and now without her I have nobody I can open up to and know there's no point in trying to find new listeners because they won't understand or accept me the same way. I miss her so much.

@tluper6491 I go through the same thing. I have a hard time opening up to anyone. Talking to new people causes me to have panic attacks. This being said maybe we can help each other. I'm here if you would like to talk sometime. I'm sorry that your friend is gone.

@tluper6491 I feel the same way...that nobody understands or accepts me. I have pushed away people who have mistreated me or that I believe have mistreated me...some of them have retailated, others have just become silent. I feel like I am a good person that is often misunderstood because I do not speak out against mistreatment until late, and then they are surprised when I confront them about it.

I am lonely since I don't have any friends because I cannot have people in my life who mistreat me.

I would probably accept you without needing to understand you. What people don't understand is that they don't always need to understand someone to show sympathy because you should accept your friends for who they are.

@tluper6491

I've been really struggling with this too. I keep trying to engage with new listeners, but it's so hard for me, and I'm scared I'll become too dependant on another person only to have them disappear.

I have felt lonely almost everyday since I moved to Utah. I came here to be closer to my last living parent and to try and start over in a new place. I lived in Southern California from 1973 until 2015 and had financial crisis and it was too expensive to live there. I lost my father who was my last living parent March 11th. My life here in Utah in many ways is hell. I struggle with depression and and seeing a therapist to try and get my emotional health under control since his death. It is hard to know when I will get triggered and become tearful and loose my composure so I have had to take a short leave to work through my emotional roller coaster I am on. I am 56 and I hate how cold Utah gets and how cold my company I work for is when it comes to physical and emotional pain. I need to get out of Utah I cant go through another winter here. I wish that I had some real friends that I could spend time with and have a real friendship.I have never been so lonely and alone in my life. I try to keep some type of gratitude knowing things could be worse as I have hit rock bottom before and right now feels really close to it again. I hate my life right now....

I am in Montana half the year and grew up in the cold. It can be isolated in these winter climates. The best is to get outside and acclimate. I like my walks in the cold more so than in the heat. I also love California in the winter ... so I must admit my thoughts are a bit wishy-washy. @bgdave

Your story is close to mine in a lot of ways. I lived in so cal and ran out of $ and had to move to be closer to my aging mother. Im in a state that I hate (feel bad putting it down, But its a fly-over state for a reason. just driving around depresses me. I have no way to move (I started a new career AT THE BOTTOM) and cant afford to live in a better place AND I need to stay because my mother might need me. Of course, I didnt know anybody when I moved here (except my mother), am Ive made some aquantences, they are not friends at all. I dont really love the time I spend with them but it at least gets me out of the house once every other week or so. I am so lonely too! My new work is no joy at all either.... not sure how to deal, I also feel very sad and stressed at work. I cant take time off. Im glad youre able to take some time away from work to feel better. @bgdave

Loneliness is difficult as we are social creatures by nature and do not function properly with too little contact. Friends are hard to find but not impossible to find.

To begin your search, start with similar interests. Hang out in your favorite places and find online forums and sites that match your interests. Next, engage. Get involved in some way. Start talking and let nature take over.

The greatest bonding occurs over challenge. Friends that endure together, stay together. The longest lasting couples and friends are those that suffer through trials together. You're on an app for mental health, so we are all on board.

Ultimately, just talk. Talk to people everywhere. Companionship is right here waiting for you friend.

@CosmicMike I thank you for your post.

I have never felt so alone... My husband of almost 9 years filed for a divorce 6 weeks ago. We're in court 1 day after our 9 year anniversary. I had no clue that he was going to file for a divorce. I have spent these last 6 weeks depressed, unable to eat, unable to focus on my work, and crying all the time. I have no family for support. My mother stopped talking to me. She said I have ruined my kids lives. I'm fighting with trying to figure out how I ruined my kids lives.

@khan0531 I am so sorry. That

What sucks that I feel lonely with half of my family. I just found out that half of my family have stopped telling me anything. I am started to learn that Family is not blood and DNA

I just joined this site so I don

Another lonely day off. 😩

Hi, 3 years ago & moved from Colorado because of job loss. I'm in a new job, and bought a Park model home. I've made 2 close friends here, but they're both the opposite gender and I want some friends of my gender, who I have things in common with. It seems like it's taking longer than usual to make new friends. I work long hours and am usually beat by the time I get home. I need to hook up with activity groups, hiking groups, maybe a gaming group. I'm still in a lot of grieving Rev job/career loss, but just starting to see light at the end of the tunnel.

i think no one actually cares. as soon as i get a friend something happens and my anxiety and insecurity work together to make me either ruin it or believe that i dont deserve friendships. its getting real tiring dealing with myself all the time i just want a break from myself sometimes. guess u rlly cant escape urself after all lol how ironically irritating

@b1ue

Hi,

I dont really feel that comfortable doing these kinds of things, but I'm gonna try it for once.

So the past few years have been really difficult for me. I have been having trouble with school, I find it hard to find concentration and motivation to study. But that's not the thing I've been having most trouble with.

I've been feeling really alone and depressed for the past few years and it has only gotten worse. I just don't feel like anyone would care about me. And generally I have trouble making friends and communicating in general. And Everytime I try to start a conversation with anyone they either just ignore me or try to end it as quickly as possible. I have a few friends, but they also do the same thing. And its actually really hurting me. And I just can't find anyone to talk to and open up. I'm just really insecure with relationships now, because Everytime I get into one the person just breaks it off. I just want someone I can open up to so yeah :)

Anyway, thanks for reading

@Hyperspin

@Hyperspin I've been there with depression on and off for decades. I hope that you are getting the care and treatment you need. For me treatment helps so much. It's so much easier to talk to people and not worry about their reaction when I'm feeling better. I want the same for you. Hang in there. Start with some good self care.