Loneliness on 7Cups

@JanahisHere Thank you very much. This puts a smile on my face. I never thought Ill be fighting for my spirit. Keep flashing that infectious smile. Looks good on ya

@adaptableHouse4111

@adaptableHouse4111

Thank you for then encouraging words.

I am sorry that you are going through this.

Thank you! I would never thought a human being could cause me this great suffering im feeling.

@adaptableHouse4111

I completely understand. I feel this way myself.

@MeMyselfAndHer

Hey Her! Just in case someone has not shared with you yet, we actually have a program for long-term relationships with listeners! You guys can either do it structured (where there is a weekly set up lesson and report for both of you to do for 8 weeks (we will add more weeks later)), or you can keep it casual with the understanding that you both want to have a long-term relationship!

Here is a link to how to find a lister in the program! https://www.7cups.com/forum/LongTermSupport_169/Buildinglongtermsupportiveconnectionson7Cups_1136/HowtoUseBrowseListenerstofindyoursponsorsponsee_64177/

I hope you are able to find someone who can work with you soon! I know how important these relationships can be! Good luck!

i don't have friends. really, not any. i don't have anybody to talk to. not even the listeners on here take my request. i constantly feel like i'm standing in a crowd yelling for help and nobody hears me.

I never knew there was so many sad, lonely, unwanted people out there, for years, I thought it was mostly me who was unfortunate. Coming to this site showed me there are thousands of people in similiar situations as I am in - someone with no children, husband, family, friends or neighbors.

@ThatAnxiousAce

I am sorry that you are struggling so much right now. Big hugs

@ThatAnxiousAce I hear you. Hope you are feeling a little better today

@ThatAnxiousAce

I completely understand how you feel. I feel this way all the time.

@ThatAnxiousAce

I feel the same way. I really need someone to share more like a one on one chat. If I could afford a counsler or I would have one. But can totally relate to not having any friends. I also have family members that aren't able to understand and do not want to hear my crap anymore. It's really hard for me to take even one step at a time or one minute at a time.

@ThatAnxiousAce

I completely understand how you feel. I am in the same boat. Anyone who i had tried to reached out for help either don't know how to help me or they won't help me.

@MeMyselfAndHer Hey there! I'm really sorry that you feel this way! There are so many listeners who would happily be there for you with open ears and open arms! You could try browsing the listener page (www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners) and filter your search for anyone who's accepting Long-Term Members, because these listeners will more than likely be there for you for some many months however, if you have no luck, I'm always here for you if you need to talk! www.7cups.com/@Georgia

@MeMyselfAndHer Sorry to hear all that. Actually 7 Cups forbids us listeners from forming any kind of real friendship or connection. We are supposed to be like the catalyst that sits in between the solution and the solvent. We only try to walk by your side until you find your way to the solution. Not being the solution itself. This formula makes people feel very artificial and impersonal but it prevents people from adjusting their whole lives or serious decisions according to the things that the listener says. Remember: Most people come here seeing the "professional listeners" ad. A lot of people might confuse a listeners offhand remark with a kind of default or legit directive. And that's a bigger problem. So instead of being direct and intrusive we try to be observant and reflecting.

And there are also many members who report listeners for being too friendly with them. We don't want to be reported for that. Actually people being too friendly is a bigger problem here than the general of them being apathetic.

Either way anyone who feels lonely can message me if they want to talk. I try to respond as much as I can.

@bluelotus99 I really didn

@bluelotus99 you raise interesting points about the listeners. Im 26 and recently had a listener who I am sure was much younger than me and was unable to relate to what I was talking about in any way and really just had no idea about ‘adult life

Im not sure how the vetting process works but surely they should pair people of similar ages. Imagine I was talking to a 15 year old about something heavy!

Thanks for making this clear @bluelotus99

I did have a couple of listeners who werent helpful and also intrusive. One got flirty after one chat and it went on until I ended the chat, it was very uncomfortable for me. Another one was just very rude and got too personal. How do you pick these guys?

I would love to be a listener myself, but I always think how am I able to help someone if I cant relate to them, or if I accidentally made them feel worse. The listeners that I mentioned above are very irresponsible, and makes me question everything 😂 Ill only be sticking to forums now *shudders*.

@SailingFox

I have 4 listeners now that I keep up with regularly and theres a lot a friendly small talk (and Im okay with that 🙂) and there hasnt been anything going on that I would consider alarming. 🙂 In my case, I didnt pick any ... they all came to me after reading some of my posts.

There is one person who is a 7 Cups listener who I had actually met outside of 7 Cups here in Chicago before he moved out of the city. Im still rather suspicious of his actual motives behind being a Listener, though. I havent connected with him on here on a member-Listener basis and dont plan to. Recently, he mentioned to me about being rated 5 stars (which I already knew about) but for all I know, he could have logged on with other fake accounts and rated himself ... he doesnt have a large following and is not very active in either feed or forum.

When looking for a good Listener, I would suggest looking at their follower and following list along with their rating, and also if possible read their posts and feed. 👍

@AbbyHarris1976 wow, that sounds kinda creepy 😥 and yes, quite suspicious! Thabks for the tip on getting good listeners! ❤️💯🙌🏻 I appreciate that.

sorry for the late reply, I havent been as active as I would like to lately due to work 😥😭

@SailingFox

I know, right? Work has been quite stressful here, too ...

Because of that failed friendship with that (not so much) friend who turned out to be a listener, it kind of helped me, in somewhat of a dark way, to use some discernment in determining whether listeners who contact me are doing so for the right reasons.

I'm actually okay with those who want to ask me for advice on being better listeners, even though I'm not a listener myself (due to my work schedule and I don't have the best time management skills to be taking on realtime chats too often), because I want to do what I can to support them in supporting others ... I have actually gotten some chat requests for my advice and insight and I always do what I can to help them so long as I know their intentions behind being listeners are for the best.

@AbbyHarris1976 I think its wonderful that people are asking for advice from you even though you are not officially a listener! ❤️ I wish I could do that, but I still question myself whether I am capable of doing it.

And yea, work just sucks the life and energy out of you till theres nothing left for anything else 😩😭

@ can I ask them their age and gender

I thought this one guy got, but then he stopped communicating with me. . . if he knew me at all, he would know that I want more communication and less gifts.

@Rebekahwriter13

I absolutely agree. 👍

This fella I was talking to last May, he was complaining that a woman he was seeing didnt wanna see him anymore cuz he kept sending her gifts that she didnt want. Knowing that kind of crap that I later found out this guys involved with (and hes a 7 Cups listener on top of all that 🤣), I can understand why she didnt want any of his gifts. Wonder what kind of gifts he really sent her? Not sure I really wanna know. 🤮🤬

@AbbyHarris1976

I'm weird, but rather have bic pens, notebooks, candy and stuff animals than flowers. I know it's romantic with flowers, but they die and then they make me feel sad. I rather have things I can enjoy or use and a guy would have to get to know me to figure that out.

@MeMyselfAndHer well done for reaching out and looking at the thread it seems you have made some connections. It can take time to make new friends and work out how to connect whether it is with other members or listeners but it seems you have made a start. Chat rooms can be useful as well. I wish you all well 😄

Thank you for this. I have been struggling this week and appreciate your sharing this.

I guess that in one way or another I can relate to what you're saying. It's really hard to know and believe if things will ever get better and so you still trying to find a way to help yourself is really inspirational to me:)

Newbie, here.........everything I've wanted is gone.......my career, my children and my wife. Hard to not feel like I've been cheated. So much I want back, but can't have it. Can't get out of this rut and am scared to try anything new,

If your ever lonly, feel free to join one of 7cups group support chats.

I grew being very lonely becaue all of my sibling were grown up and had children who were too young to for me to play with my parent weren't in shape to play with me due to their physical health problem. I wasn't allowed to be around other people so i didn't learn the social skill. So it made me very shy, socially akward, and have anxiety attack. I grew up severly lonely and people avoid because they thought something was wrong with me. Or they heard a rumor that was false about me. I have no friend, boyfriend, husband, kids.

"LOVE who you are." I've heard this time and time again, yet I fail to do so. So please, everyone, love yourselves for me and shine love to people like me.

@MeMyselfAndHer

I am sorry that you have encountered listeners that aren't helpful. While many are incredible and helpful on 7cups, I have to admit not everyone here are for the right reasons. But don't give up as I have made a lot of friends and helpful people on 7cups. Sure, you wouldn't find them all in one day, but they certainly exist.

I empathise with your situation and would like to extend myself out there to help you. If you ever need someone to speak or talk to, my PM s are open.

Hi, I'm new here but also dealing with loneliness especially with the holidays coming. I'm a much older person so my parents, aunts, uncles are now deceased. I have cousins but not all close and they do not invite me for holidays. I have plenty friends but, again, they are busy with their own children and grandchildren. I'm just kind of in a place on my own.

Don't worry. You are not alone here :)

@ I hope February is finding you in the slightly better please? I can see how your situation with seem extremely lonely. I had my husband when our kids were born but we had really no other family or friends helping us. It was very hard! It still is! I highly recommend some kind of church family. It will take a little while to get to know people but they are generally very welcoming and the message is always good! My kids or teens now we never force them to get involved in youth group and in hindsight I think that was a very bad decision.

@ Hi! I don't see your name here.

My parent before they pass away said they never met anyone who had as many problem as me. My mom and sibling my problem is I would just learn to shut up and stay out of other people business or just stay out of the past I wouldn't have any problem. I became severely lonely.