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bluelotus99
20 1,123,019
L Epitome 19
5 star rating
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Number of ratings659 Number of reviews232 Listens toOver 18 LanguagesEnglish, Turkish Listener sinceSep 3, 2015 Last activein last week GenderMale PathStep 396 People helped1,889 Chats20,794 Group support chats43 Listener group chats59 Forum posts205 Forum upvotes292
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Recent forum posts
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Three questions to the community!
Mindfulness Center / by bluelotus99
Last post
 September 4th, 2022
...See more I hope everyone is having a great weekend. I have three questions for you which I'm curious to the hear your answers! 1- Do you have a happy place and if so what is it? 2- When do you feel like you are the most of who you are? 3- What does "now" ask of you to be? Cheers!
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Tips against rumination
Mindfulness Center / by bluelotus99
Last post
 August 19th, 2022
...See more We have all been there - going over again and again in our heads about the things that happened in the past which we find unfortunate. Maybe a certain event that we constantly think about through an endless list of possibilities, alternatives, what ifs. Sometimes we find ourselves ending up in a self-blame loop that wasn’t there before instead of getting closer to a solution which was the goal in thinking over about it in the first place. Ruminating thoughts might end up amplifying depressive thoughts, producing counter-factual thinking and self-blame, affecting our relationship with others, giving retaliative feelings, causing unfair criticism towards ourselves. There are several general tips that might help counter the rumination. Tips: Awareness: Be aware of the rumination. Once we realize that a thought process doesn’t bring a solution but by itself is being a source of stress, it will be easier for us to take precautions against it and to start thinking constructively. Beware the triggers: Staying away from things that trigger negative feelings or send us into rumination will be helpful in the healing process. Analyze: Observe and note down the situations that cause you rumination. What triggers it? Is it an emotional impact that causes you to get stuck in rumination? Invalidation? Make a sort of schema about it and take notes. Knowing what triggers the rumination will help you better be prepared the next time you encounter such a trigger. Get rid of the what-ifs: One of the things that cause us emotional exhaustion is constantly exerting ourselves about unreachable things, such as the possible alternatives of what could have happened or what ifs. Instead of putting mental labour in a past that can’t be changed, it will be better to focus on learning lessons from it and adjusting your reactions in the future in a way to better prevent an outcome that could have negative impact on you. Try avoiding loneliness: A person in ruminating thoughts needs social support. Expressing ourselves to someone who will not judge us will help us put our thoughts into perspective, helping in the healing process as we see them better from a non-self blaming way. Meditation: Mindfulness exercises and meditation help us calm our minds and help with the rejuvenation of mental energy. Professional help: Prevention is as important as healing. Reaching out to a professional will help with the healing process tremendously. And most of important of all, be fair to yourself and remember that you deserve good things in the world! (Reference [https://www.antalyapsikiyatrist.com/makaleler/psikolojide-ruminasyon])
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Avoiding self-blame
Mindfulness Center / by bluelotus99
Last post
 January 15th, 2022
...See more Loving oneself is often emphasized in self-care. But what exactly is the reason self-love works? We should love ourselves, but it's also important to be fair to ourselves. We should make sure that we don't judge ourselves unfairly with severe criticism. It's alright to aim for betterment, but it's a whole different story if we are needlessly criticizing ourselves to the point of being destructively unfair. Let's differentiate between auditing our own actions as to not being harmful to others, and unfair self-criticism that's destructive and hampering for our self-care. For example: "I might have judged her wrong in her intentions, next time I should be more careful to observe people's intentions more objectively." -> this is a good example of constructive self-audition. "I'm such a dolt! I can't even speak to people properly! What a nuisance I must be for others!" -> this is a good example of destructive, unfair self-criticism. Unfair self-criticism is usually the result of counter-factual thought patterns that come with anxiety or stress that weren't dealt with. So how do we avoid self-blame and unfair self-criticism? Be a good friend to yourself: Being a good friend to ourselves is a good step in battling unfair self-criticism. Constantly criticizing ourselves unfairly is same as having a friend who judges everything we do, blaming us even in situations where we are not to blame; but the difference is we can't get away from this friend, because it's us. Let's treat ourselves like a good friend who always supports us and backs us up, no matter what. Example: "I know I can do great things, I have complete faith in myself!" Younger version of yourself: Imagine yourself as a younger version of yourself. Would you judge that young person so harshly if they had made a mistake? Remember that in the eyes of those who care, you are not judged for your mistakes. Example: "I know things are not looking bright right now, but in the long run it will be alright." Other's standards: People often fallaciously believe that everyone else is perfect and they are all critical towards them, forgetting that other people probably think the same. This results with us judging ourselves harsher than how we judge others. What we wouldn't judge others with if they were like us, we judge ourselves with it. Why hold ourselves to an impossible standard that we don't hold others to? It's important to be fair to people, including yourself. Example: "If I saw someone else like me, would I judge that person? Definitely not, I'd try to be empathetic and caring towards them. I am also a person so I should be caring towards myself as well." Being kind to others who are being kind to you: Sometimes personal clashes might be unavoidable with others, but what about those who are already kind to us? By being kind to them, we can teach our minds to be kind towards good people, which in turn will count us as one of the good people and be more easy on ourselves. Example: "That person is so much like me! I feel so positively towards them, so in turn I should be positive to myself as well." Avoid self-blame: When met with an obstacle, human mind automatically looks for someone to blame. People often blame themselves in these situations. We should understand that Instead of looking to cast blame, we should focus on finding a solution out of the situation. Example: "What happened was not my fault, things were not under my control. I should focus on hampering the negative effects this situation had on me, and not try to blame myself." Self-love: Self-love is also a good pathway towards being fair to oneself. Even though these are different things, they often go together perfectly. Example: "I'm a good person who deserves good things. Being treated fairly is a good thing, so I should not be judgemental towards myself." Please remember to be fair to yourself and not judge yourself unnecessarily. Self-blame gives us more emotional exhaustion, and in turn, cause us even more anxiety or stress than what caused the self-blame in the first place. It's important to stay away from unfair self-criticism as much as possible.
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The problem with the censor filter
Site Updates / by bluelotus99
Last post
 March 26th, 2022
...See more I understand the necessity of a censoring mechanism to prevent a sudden intake of a potentially triggering message, however this filter seems to be getting more and more invasive every day. How many times I've been trying to apologize from a member or a fellow listener who had sent me an offline message with a "Sorry I was asleep" reply and it strikes me with this: "Something in your message appears to violate our terms of service (such as sharing personal contact information or social media accounts, or containing inappropriate content). 7 Cups depends upon you keeping your identity secure and private to protect everyone involved. Please also take care to show kindness and respect in every interaction here on 7 Cups." At first I thought what info?? Then I realized that it considered the "asl" in the "asleep" as the archaic acronym of "A/S/L?" and was censoring my message. I guess the wordlist for the censor filter is a standard one, but who really uses asl anymore? What's more strange is sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't work and it always accepts a.s.l instead of asl so it’s pretty useless.
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Feedback & Reviews
Very good listener
Thank you so much for your support! You were attentive, kind and made me feel heard and understood. Your empathy and encouragement really helped me navigate my thoughts. I truly appreciate your time and care.
He's been helpful. Quite patient and supportive.
Very responsive and ready.
Nice and helpful listener
Highly patient and understanding listener, iam feeling very relieved after talking, thanks for the support 🌸🌟
Very caring and helpful
Calm and patient person!
Very nice listener, really appreciated our chat!
He is a very kinf and patient person, he listener very carefully and tries to understand the situation precisely and he responds very promptly, i feel very relieved talking to him, thank you so much for the support. 😊🌟
This listener makes you feel like you’re the center of the world. Gave me his whole attention, took always my feelings of guilt, guided me without judgements or dictations. I’m so happy I got this wonderful chance. Can’t thank you enough 🙏
Absolutely amazing. Words can't express how grateful I am and how lucky we are to have a listener like Lotus here on the platform.
Lotus took time to focused on what I shared and his responses were not cliche. He is kind and the type of person who sees the good in others and tell them. Thank you!
Really really good listener
Singlehandedly the best listener I've had on 7cups. They were so kind, insightful, and supportive during the HOURS we talked. They stood by me, listened to me in times of struggle, and helped encourage me when needed. Most importantly, they helped me figure out what I already knew and was incredibly patient. Not just as a listener, but I have nothing but good things to say about this person. Whoever you are, bless you. Thank you for making my world and the world a better place.
Çok ilgili çok teşekkür ederim
Very good listener, thanks a lot
Beni cok Iyi anliyor
Very good listener
Very sweet person
Very easy to talk to and actually listens
Such a great listener. Thanks!
Good listener, and compassion.
Good listener. Polite. Kind and Very Helpful.
bluelotus99 reminded me to not be too critical of yourself during a reflective period. They check in a lot as well.
Very great listener
I think best listener ever :)
Kind and understanding.
Lovely and compassionate listener. Thank you so much for your time, you're awesome!
Kind, dedicated & present
Bence en iyisi. İyi ki denk geldim. Beni önemseyen birine denk gelmek ve konuşmak güzeldi. İlk kez birinin benim için alakasını hissettim ve minnettar oldum. Ara sıra soru sorarak konuyu derinleştirmesi benim de algılarımı açtı. Daha net görüyorum diyebilirim. Belki gelecek için ışık olabilir, böyle düşünmemi ve negatif düşüncelerimden şüphe etmemi sağladı. Kendisine kocaman teşekkürler
Hayatımda gördüğüm en iyi dinleyici. Kendini insanlara yardım etmeye adamış birisi ve konuşunca gerçekten rahatlıyorsunuz .
Faithfully replies as much as possible to what I share.
Great listener
Attentive and quick replies
He is thoughtful and very nice person.
They were super supportive, understood, and were extremely proffesional and kind
Very helpful. I enjoyed it.
Extremely helpful, kind and patient with me. I really appreciated the help and insight given. Thank you.
I felt understood and heard. Patiently listened to my entire story.
Gerçekten çok ilgili ve düşünceli bir insan
Helps a lot, recommended
Tanidigim en tatli dinleyici
Empathetic and understanding. I’m glad I found this listener :) -Lemon
Really sweet person, thank you for talking to me
bluelotus99 is the most caring listener that I’ve ever had the opportunity to speak to. They were so encouraging, and they made the effort to truly understand and validate how you’re feeling. They were exactly what I needed at the right time. Thank you.
A great listener. Very professional and helpful. Good luck
It was decent. The listener was there to listen and attempt me to stay positive
My listener made me feel better and seemed to actually care.
Great listener. Amazing. I told my whole life story and they didn’t jduge
he/she is so patient.
He is great. He understands me.
such a good listener who doesn't project their emotions on you
This person is so awesome and thanks a lot for the help
Great help for me
Awesome listener
Seems really nice
So helpful and amazing!!! Thank you!!!
Awesome listener
Thank you so much, very nice person, wish you the best
Best listener I’ve had in awhile. They asked thought provoking questions and really helped me along. I would highly recommend this listener to anyone who wants to have a relaxing, calm, and productive conversation.
İyi bir dinleyici ve yorumcu desteklerinden dolayı çok teşekkür ederim
Nice chat love it than
Very good listener, very helpful
Very engaging :)
Awesome listener.
So helpful and will go out of their way to help you! Super nice and thoughtful.
Very inspirational and helps you to have fun in your life
Kind and helpful, thank you so much.
Good listener ,honest and friendly ..
a big heart full of kindness
Very nice and helpful came with great ideas
Prompt in replying
It helps when you need someone to talk 2
very helpful and unde
very understanding and a good listener. Sometimes asking leading questions which I didn't feel were necessary for a listener.
I feel like home so nice and charming
Very supportive
Excellent listener. He relaxes me Very logical and practical I wish everyone was like him!
Great listener and constructive feedback
Patient and caring listener. Thank you so much.
Excellent and insightful.
Great listener. Very receptive and understanding.
Amazing listener who genuinely cared and helped me
Very compassionate
genuinely wanted to help, their questions led me to have a clearer mind
Big friendly adviser and nice listener
They are the best listener I’ve ever spoken to
He is a very good listeners.
He is the best listener ever! I felt like I was talking to an old friend and not a stranger. He made me very comfortable and he was very knowledgeable about what I was going through. Before him, I had given up hope, but he really really helped me. Thank you!
He was pretty cool!
Great listener
The best listener ever. He/She is very friendly and super professional. Helped me a lot with my issues and I also gave me some good advice. Thank you so much for everything!!!! I super recommend.
He was very helpful..
It was good talking to him. He helped me out.
Very good listener, chose them after reading the reviews and I am so glad I connected with them. I feel so much better after speaking with them. Someone who really understands and cares
This individual has an understanding of depression and anxiety, and is an excellent listener.
He’s amazing to talk to. He takes time to understand the problems and he answers pretty quickly. He doesn’t judge and he’s nice. I feel very comfortable talking to him
Good listening skills
Outstanding person. I’m so grateful. The best!! Exactly what I was needing this evening xx
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