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- Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?
Depression Community - How do you actually feel today?
@musicmaniacThank you so much for your support. It's really comforting to hear someone say that.
In my personal life i have no one to relate to. I'll try to open up to my only friendin my life, but it never works out. It always turns into a matter of a "weak mindset," which promptly makes me stop trying to explain.
I don't blame him for feeling that way. No one knows about my experience (besides whoever reads theposts i've made in the Self Harm and Depression forums) and it's hard to make someone understand trauma like that, or the despair that comes with it. Besides how can I explain something like that to anyone? No one knows this about me.
No problem @O3Q495 It feels like only people who self-harm understand, and that makes it so hard because they just don't get it. I believe in you though, I think you should try not to isolate yourself though. Being around people has helped me a lot. It gives me less time to be alone with my thoughts, I think it could possibly help you too. Whether he understands itor not, your friend cares about you a lot and they want you here. Okay? Isolating yourself is not good, it honestly tends to cause more problems.
You are absolutely correct @musicmaniac. However i'm sure i don't have to tell you how difficult it is to take a step in the right direction.
It's hard for me to try and better mylife, when all iwant is for it to end. So i cut to punish myself for being alive, and i take way more of my prescriptions than i should to shorten it. And unlike how i have felt in the past, i have little to no fear of the consequences.
I apologize for how grim that sounds, but it's how i honestly feel.
Please keep living @O3Q495 I know it's hard, I know. I am really sorry you feel like that. You shouldn't punish yourself for being alive, you deserve to be on this Earth just as much as anyone else. Your life matters, people care. No need to apologize for how you feel. I honestly hope you can overcome all of this. It just takes that first step of actually trying to get better.
Thank you for all your kind words @musicmaniac . While i still don't feel like i deserve to live, it's is slightly comforting to know that someone would care.
No problem @O3Q495 You do deserve to live, you really do.
Today im struggling big time. Im tired i want to sleep forever. Im numb
Hey @emzy73 I'm sorry you aren't doing so well today. I know how you feel. I hope things get better for you soon, being numb is an awful feeling.
Thanks for replying. Why cant we just feel normal happy etc. Im like two people ok on the outside to everyone else but feel so empty on the inside like im not even here 😐
Of course! I don't know, I wish it was easier. It's like i just pretend all day that I'm happy and fine. @emzy73
Been locked in all day so feeling bored tired and very lonely. A whole day alone gets you thinking.
Been locked in all day so feeling bored tired and very lonely. A whole day alone gets you thinking.
Been locked in all day so feeling bored tired and very lonely. A whole day alone gets you thinking.
I know how you feel. It's hard feeling alone. Just know you're not. You always have the 7 Cups family to support you. @TheStrange
Just wanted to say that you guys are so brave for going what you are going through. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It is a good step to getting the support that you need. Hugs to all :)
I know that feeling, you exist for a reason. You are loved and cared for by friends or family, whether you know it or not.
I second what @musicmaniac said. You exist for a reason and you deserve to be happy, because you are a human being.
Today I woke up so numb...that damn tired I want to sleep all day feeling...I hate that. The night ended with adrenaline...feeling...a high. Unfortunately I'm awake when I shouldnt be lol. I have to get up so early haha but it was a genuine high that I haven't had in....I don't remember. Weeks? :) Hopefully I won't be caffeinated "high" in the morning by necessity lol
when anti depressants kick in are they supposed to make you feel the best you've ever felt in your life?,because i feel freekin awsome since yesterday.I feel so good i'm wondering if there is something wrong with me. Cant sleep worth shit andi couldnt sit still if wanted to, but im sure getting a hell of alot done around the houseright now.
btw... started effexor about 2 weeks ago,this is myfirst experience on an antidepressant
Glad you are doing well. My dr wants me to take antidepressants and it makes me nervous because I don't want to gain weight How long have u taken them before you felt better. Thanks
Honestly, today was one of my worst days. My best friend's boyfriend almost committed, meaning that she almost committed. Personally, that terrified me. I cried, and I cried really hard. When I cry though, I take out my pain through self-harm. Tonight was really, really bad and I'm terrified it'll happen again one day.
@nightcxrehemmo I am so incredibly sorry you had to go through that. Please try not to harm your beautiful body. I know its scary that it could happen again, you should just try to be there for your friend and her boyfriend. I'm sorry you had such a horrible day.
How do I feel ? Earlier today was rough. I finally made it out of the house to the post office then my husband joined me in attending a job fair and I actually spoke to someone about a part time job. So it's a step in the right direction but some many times I almost cried and ran away before going into the job fair Thank god for my husband who was Very supportive during this time How he puts up with me is beyond me. Who knew that a social person could become so afraid of everything ???
Today i dont want to face anyone i just want to sleep forever and not wake up. Im here in body thats about it. I just go through the motions of each day and hope to get to the end of the day. from the outside people think im fine, i smile i help i listen and care but on the inside im dark and broken.
Today I feel like I will never genuinely want to be alive. It wasn't my choice to be here and I dont't want to continie living. Everyone is trying to push me around amd force me along for their convenience. I wish I had never existed. Being alive ia just an endless pain in the ass.
I am not suicidal, but I feel pushed to suicide.
Like, I studied for 2/3 of my life and now I can't find a decent job. I have had so many bad things happen to me in the past few years and people have been so mean to me.
The most painful example: my Basic Design teacher told me I would never amount to anything and should never try to draw because I have a dirty soul that is full of horrible things. This was a man who was paid to encourage us students to come out of our shells and grow creatively in the first 2 years of Art School. The result is that I haven't been able to put pen/brushto paper ever since. That was in 2008!
I've been unemployed for 3 years and now all the jobs I do find pay so little and so exploiting that I do not see how I will survive and carry on.
I am so tired of pretending I am full of youthful motivation and drive when all I want is a decent life, but the world has no room for me and I am reminded that every day.
Also, I have seen 3 therapists so far. Somehow, they are all very privileged people who judged me and who told me that my problems aren't real or serious.
On top of that, I am alone in a new country and I have no friends/support system. I am out of solutions.
I feel like leaving the world because everything is starting to crumble. The thought is becoming more and more prominent like a oncoming storm. This is not been a good two weeks for me.
any one catch the number of the truck that hit me? could get barely get out of bed this morning, called in sick to work and got some one take my kids. not that i feel bad or anything im actually in a prettygood mood. more like someone shut off my power switch, I feel likeI have lead weights strapped to my body.
all this after yesterdays high, I think I need a little chat with my doctor aboutthe medicationsside affects on me. this is weird
I'm not sure. Today was weird. I've been highly emotional lately and I'm not sure entirely why. I was upset this morning because plans were changed and I was frustrated then crazy scary 2 hour drive in a blizzard which shook me up enough to get me to snap out of my darkness a little. Not looking forward to my fiance being at work tomorrow, he's been such a major support, I'm worried time alone will send me back into the deep dark hole that I'm barely coming out of. One day at a time and I hope each is better. Here's to hoping.
I feel kind of good, which scares me. Usually when that happens I hit rock bottom within the next few days. Plus, this rarely ever happens. Being "happy" or "content" seems alien to me now.
I feel kind of good, which scares me. Usually when that happens I hit rock bottom within the next few days. Plus, this rarely ever happens. Being "happy" or "content" seems alien to me now.
Depression is my happy. I've become so accustom to always being depressed so it's my new normal. This week has been more difficult than usual and I'm scared I just don't want to do something stupid. I mean I've already ruined my 1 week clean. Tonight.