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O3Q495
1,607 M Little Steps 6
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts25 Forum posts33 Forum upvotes19 Current upvotes19 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 1970 Member sinceDecember 21, 2014
Recent forum posts
My Introduction To Anyone Interested
Journals & Diaries / by O3Q495
Last post
December 24th, 2014
...See more My name is Chance, and I am 19 years old. I am a high school dropout, and i live alone. I am here for a number of reasons, primarily i need help with my depression, anxiety, and trauma. I have spent a few hours talking to a few wonderfully helpful listeners, and now i feel comfortable sharing a little of my background. If you are reading this i want thank you, but also apologize.​ What I'm​ about to say is really hard for me to talk about, so I'm sorry if I'm​ vague or if i start venting. When i was very young (4-5 years old) i was homeless, so i had to live with a couple and their nephews. As it turned out that couple was molesting those kids. I was living in that house with my mom at the time, and that couple were letting us use one of their bedrooms. When my mom found out what those "people" were doing she made doubly sure that the couple stayed away from me.  However she didn't​ pay that much attention to the two boys that were being molested. They were a few years older than me, and much larger than me. They ended up being the ones that raped me. This went on for weeks, and looking back i think that older couple helped those boys. In the end my mom never found out, and i never told anyone what happened to me until a few hours ago. I sometimes wonder why i couldn't stop what happened. Why didn't​ i say something? Why did it take me 15 years to gather enough courage to say something to anyone? Why do i hate myself so much for something a couple of people did to me? 
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