2) Community Questions and Answers - The Basis of Mental Health Awareness and Support

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Feelings of inadequacy can be difficult to deal with, especially when there are concerns that someone else is better than you and you aren’t good enough for them. This could be the expectations of your parents, your partner, or other family members. In fact, not feeling good enough can be related to how our self-esteem is or how much we love ourselves. If it seems like the struggle is self-esteem, self-love or even issues related to telling yourself negative things, it could be beneficial to find a mental health professional to speak to.

Social media can make comparisons to others easy, and yet only shows us what the other person wants us to see about them, not the real them. It can be discouraging when social media shows perfection, and we see our lives as we are – with flaws and challenges. What we miss with this comparison, is what an amazing person that we are, what great things we have to offer others, and the truth is, if someone else thinks we aren’t good enough for them, then they’ve missed an opportunity to meet someone who is unique and special with many talents, strengths and things to offer.

@SoulfullyAButterfly
What to do when you feel you are not enough for someone?
Who we are is built from the ground up our whole life. There are extremes within society that can affect how our inner critic expresses itself. The voices closest to us - family members, parents, partners, our children - have the biggest impact on our self-confidence. Our levels of self esteem, self worth, and self doubt can all be effected by the weight we give to those voices. It doesn't help that anytime we open social media, those voices can creep in from the outside word, too.
The first step is always recognizing the real reason this person does not make you feel like you are enough. Discovering that information can often need therapy to guide it to the surface. It is always okay to ask for help.
After you know what is causing your negative self-talk, the best way to approach change is through communicating that information. There will never be a "good time" to bring something up when you are not sure of the reaction. Just be open and accepting of however the conversation goes. Priority is you.
While you might feel like the right thing is to give them every chance available, at the end of the day you are both human beings who deserve self-love.
You are currently enough for the world, capable of so much progress and personal development that even attempting to communicate can push you towards being that better person.
Who knows, maybe even being able to come forward and ask for what you need can boost your confidence to feel like enough for someone.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

Whether it’s parents, a partner, family members, or friends, it is hard when anyone feels like they aren’t good enough for someone. I empathize with you on this. I like to do research on something called “Shadow Work” because it has helped me explain a lot about my behavior along with other people’s. One thing I learned from this is that when people react negatively towards someone else, it is usually a projection of themselves. A lot of times, people project their insecurities onto others and some people don’t realize that they are doing it.

You might be wondering what the possibilities are. I believe that something called radical acceptance is a good way to start. Radical acceptance is when something happened that was not in your control and you accept it anyway. There is not much you can change about their projection, it’s more of something they have to work on within themselves. It is also important to still be kind to that person if you would like a healthy relationship with them. I think that practicing self care and self love would also be beneficial since it is difficult to cope with not feeling good enough sometimes. I believe that this can potentially help with your self confidence and feelings of self worth as well.

At the end of the day, nobody’s opinion of you matters but your own, so just unapologetically be you and accept the situation as it is. I’m sure you're an amazing person the way you are now.

Good luck with everything,

Sel

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?
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Whether it is to our friends, partner, parents, children, or other family members, we sometimes may feel like we are not good enough. Many people can relate to this. The curated content in social media may also affect our self-esteem negatively. We are all human beings. Even the most amazing person can struggle with self-confidence and feeling inadequate if their inner voice says so.

The good news is our negative feelings do not always reflect reality. We may feel inadequate, but perhaps the real reason is the loud inner critic inside us, not because we are inadequate.

We do not have to feel this way our whole life. We can certainly work towards building a healthy relationship with ourselves so that we feel enough. The best way to do this is through cultivating self-love. Great things can happen when we love who we are. What matters the most is you love yourself and enjoy being who you are. Others' perceptions of us should not come before our love for ourselves.

The first step is to recognise that our self-worth is not tied to anything. We are enough just as we are. We are much more than our thoughts and feelings. We are much better than what our self-doubt and negative self-talk say, so we should be confident in our own skin. Self-confidence means "knowing who I am, liking who I am, and wanting to lift others with me."

It is helpful to remember there is no upper limit to being a good person; what matters is we keep striving to grow. Reflection is a tool to become a better and better version of ourselves. It is also important to remember that we want to be a better person for ourselves, first and foremost. We want to feel enough for ourselves, not to fulfil someone else’s expectations. If we want to be good enough for person A while person B wants something different, this can cause an identity crisis. If we have no stable sense of identity, will we be happy?

Moreover, maintaining healthy communication with ourselves is essential. We should be careful with how we talk to ourselves; we do not want to give more power to the cognitive distortions that say we are not good enough. This is why positive self-affirmations can be a powerful tool for healthy self-esteem.

Therapy is another option if we need professional help. Therapists can give us more useful information according to our specific situations. At the end of the day, though, therapy is not always available or accessible for everyone.

I hope this helps you figure out the next right thing to do to feel good enough. Good luck, and I hope you have a good time through the process of accepting and loving yourself, whoever you are.

@SoulfullyAButterflyQuestion: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

@SoulfullyAButterfly

If you notice yourself feeling like you are not good enough for someone it could be due to many factors such as low self-esteem, being treated poorly in an abusive relationship, past trauma, anxiety or depression.

Children can be especially affected by childhood traumas and in some cases therapy may be helpful.

The good news is that human beings have the power to utilize information and communication to restructure these emotions weather it is done alone or with therapy.

The first step to improving self-confidence is to examine your inner critic (also known as the inner-voice) and identify any negative self-talk or self-doubt so that you can begin to replace negative thoughts with positive words by practicing self-love.

It is important not to compare ourselves to others since this can lead to feelings of low self-worth and insecurities.

Social media can intensify these feelings if we are not mindful with how and when we use it.

Examine relationships with parents, partner, and family members to ensure your boundaries are both clear and being met.

A healthy relationship will respect boundaries and empower you to be a better person.

At the end of the day, you are an amazing person capable of accomplishing great things with a whole life ahead, good luck.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

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Many people experience negative self-talk and that inner critic voice can have a significant impact on one's self-esteem. Though a common aspect of human experience, the good news is that you don’t have to feel this way your whole life.

There are several strategies you can use to reduce negative self-talk and self-doubt, with the first step being to notice these thoughts and reframe them with positive affirmations. Communicating with ourselves by counteracting these negative thoughts with positive affirmations can be a great way to boost your self-worth and self-confidence. If these thoughts persist, seeking the guidance of a therapist can be another great way to work on your inner dialogue and increase your self-love.

Moreover, when we work on ourselves and our self-talk, we can improve our relationships with the people who are important to us. For instance, your relationship with your partner, your children, and other family members will improve because when you foster healthy communication with yourself, your self-esteem will improve, you will respect yourself more, and are more likely to seek out healthy relationships with others. Remember, you are an amazing person, and at the end of the day, the best way to overcome the feeling of not being good enough for someone is to engage in self-reflection and treat yourself with compassion and kindness. Remember, you are an amazing person, and you have your whole life ahead of you.

I think the feeling of not being good enough is something many people deal with, I know I have. Human beings are social creatures and strive towards intimate connections with those we care about. This can lead to us holding their opinions of us in high regard, meaning that they can change our perceptions of ourselves and stop us believing we are the amazing people we know we are. Ideally, we would separate ourselves from individuals that cause self-doubt and foster healthy relationships where communication is used to uplift each other however this isn’t possible in all cases. In these instances, we must look inwards to our own views of ourselves.

The formation of our self-esteem is a continuous and dynamic process, a life-long commitment with the end goal being self-love. From the time we are children, this perception of ourselves forms from the words of others around us be it our family members, friends, or even social media. Sometimes these words can make us feel inadequate and we carry these words with us as we age, oftentimes these will form the structure of our own negative self-talk. We mimic the same critiques that we have heard from those around us, and this paves the way for our inner critic.

Though we may not be able to control the words of others, it is within our power to mediate the amount of weight we give them. The voice within our own head is exceptionally powerful and is a fundamental building block in self-confidence. Even something as simple as a positive affirmation has been shown to positively alter individuals’ thoughts on themselves. Though this may not work for everyone, other techniques such as mindfulness, gratitude practices, meditation and therapy have also shown effectiveness – at the end of the day, it is about finding something that works for you.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Question: what to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone

Struggling with self-doubt, self esteem, and self confidence happens to many of us. I understand that it can feel terrible, I struggle with self-doubt sometimes too. I also understand that it can also be really hard to bring yourself of this negative spiral sometimes. Some things that you could possibly try are communicating with people that support and have your back. This could be family, friends, or your partner. Having their encouragement could help boost your self confidence and self esteem.