✨ What Is One Thing You Wish People Knew About Autism? ✨

@AnnaSilverberg Yay thank you Anna for replying 😊

You made some really awesome points!!! I loved all of them! Especially loving the point of being capable of empathy because that's definitely something that is misunderstood. ❤️

@beck1

I wish people understood that when I get overwhelmed or anxious, it is not a good idea to ask Me questions. It just makes me more frustrated. Also that I feel things so deeply. I am beyond empathetic and that I feel things deeply. Every feeling. Joy. happiness. Anger. Pain. Hurt. Sadness. Love. Fear. Everything. I feel it all. And I feel deeper than anyone will ever understand.

@FaithfulGeekyGal20 that would be a really good reminder to not ask questions when you're overwhelmed! Thank you for sharing that! Are there things those around you can do to help when you're overwhelmed or is it best for them to leave you to yourself?

I think a big misconception is that autistics don't have or feel empathy. But that is actually so wrong. We feel differently and often more deeply than others.

@FaithfulGeekyGal20 This is my experience exactly! Thank you for putting it so succinctly!

@beck1

hey beck, love the post. also super helpful for me to come across at the moment! I am trying to do some work with schools, police, and hospitals, as well as anyone who will listen, on autism and mental health. Trying to use my emotions and trauma in healthy ways.

I wish people realised that meltdowns are not a choice, and not is misbehaving.

I may look like I am coping, but I am masking. Please don't call me high functioning, that's basically saying how well I'm masking and then I feel pressure to keep that mask up.

Please don't assume we all look or behave a certain way. we are individuals.

Please include us. We may not be party animals, but do like to feel involved.

We are not being rude or stupid if we ask for clarification.

We are not weak or less tolerant to sensory world, we actually experience it differently. You'd likely have an overwhelmed response too if you saw it like me.

I am not to blame. Autism is not a burden, but nor is it a superpower. Its a different way of thinking and experiencing.

Just a few.

@teenytinyturtle yay! Thank you for replying!

That's awesome that you're working with people on autism and mental health. Advocating for ourselves and others, as well as educating, can be very positive for our mental health! So great job!

• Really great point about meltdowns. I think people generally misunderstand what they are. Would you be able to describe your experience of a meltdown, if you feel comfortable?

• Masking is another big one that people may not understand. Thanks for bringing that up. I can definitely hear how upsetting it is for you to hear high functioning too.

• Its so so so so so important for people to see everyone as individuals, whether neurotypicals or autistics. I agree, no one no matter what are the same

• Being inclusive is super important too!

• Thank you for bringing up not being rude. Have people in your life felt like you were rude before when you didn't intend to be?

• Great point about the sensory world. It is true that if neurotypicals experienced the world through our eyes, then they would be overwhelmed too.

• Autism is absolutely not a burden. You're correct on that one.

You did an awesome job with these points. Yay!

@teenytinyturtle

I relate to all of these. Thank you for this post ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

@teenytinyturtle Oh, my goodness, my experience exactly! Currently being told off for being non-verbal in meltdowns! Then people are surprised why I don't change the behaviour (because I can't, not misbehaving). They're just having totally unrealistic expectations and then being disappointed in me when I 'fail' and 'don't do enough'! Very negative! Apparently I don't think abt other people's perspectives enough. They don't know how I feel/what I think/expect abt anything cos they don't listen. They don't give me space to talk. They just assume (huge things) which they don't know bcos they don't listen so they don't find out!

I'm trying to deal with ALL of this on top of going all out with my goals. Very depressing! Oh yeah and apparently I'm not doing much either. Only seeing nieces for twelve hours one day a week and going to shops by myself three times a week when I had anxiety so bad when I was 15/16 (I'm now 26) I cldn't go out at all. When I say I can't in relation to autism like being verbal in meltdown, seems people interpret me as being negative. Then wonder why I feel told off.

My mental health nurse also doesn't take me seriously. Talks abt my 'great Limitations' from having autism. Very negative.

Have to go over and over how my autism affects me. I've gone over and over and. OVER it ;) and a traumatic event bcos they write it down the EXACT. SAME. wrong version of events every time.

Hey @StressedGirl !

Sorry to hear that you were told off for being non-verbal! 😕 Its so hard when those around us don't hear the struggles that we are facing...

I'm sorry to hear that your nurse doesn't take you seriously. Are you able to request someone else?

@beck1 No, unfortunately not. This is the second nurse I'm had cos the first one was just as c r a p.

Negativity from other people kinda stopped (my sister-in-law) is pregnant with third child, was staying with her and her husband (my brother), and their two children (my nieces, 4 and 20 mths).

@beck1

i don’t know what wish people know

I think never will understand what autism is because don’t get diagnosed until last year when I was 13 but already been diagnose with so much chromosome syndrome and intellectual disability and adhd and learning disability and am deaf and got epilepsy and understand why all those thing is diagnose but get autism diagnosis and don’t understand why still

Hey @theboymoana thank you so much for sharing. It sounds like you have been diagnosed with a lot and that can be a really confusing time

How do you feel about the diagnosis' that you have?

I'm really glad you're here on Cups and I really hope that you're able to get the support that you deserve

@beck1

idk wish diagnose nothing sometimes because people mean to me and lot of things really hard but being deaf I don’t think want go away ever because so much who am and think of hearing mostly feel scary or like doesn’t matter hear don’t hear

but wish easier to learn understand things takes me long time learning stuff and need help everything and some time people mean even here cups in chats people say things make me so sad

I don’t know just so much confusion and sad things some times just want things being more easy sometimes🥲🥲

@theboymoana

I'm sorry that people are mean to you. Are they mean on Cups or are the mean people off Cups?

I help out with the Disability Support Sub Community and I know there are some people on there who are deaf too. Do you think it would be helpful to chat to them?

I can definitely hear that it may take you longer to learn things, and thats okay! Needing help is okay too! Everyone is different and some people may need more help than others.

@beck1 The one thing I wish people understood about Autism is that not everyone with Autism is the same. I am Neurodivergent with Autism, ADHD and some other factors. I have high emotional intelligence and very high logical thinking, which makes me sensitive those around me, but also over rationalize when some upsets me. Which makes it difficult for me, and it upsets me that majority of the people I have been around in my early childhood years and even every adulthood would just cast me out instead of try and understand me

@PhoenixButterfly97

Thank you for sharing this! I definitely agree... It's definitely important to remember that not everyone with autism are the same!

Have a good day people 🙏

@beck1

that it's not always obvious and you should treat people kindly because you don't know what they struggle with.

@DistortionHeart

Thank you for sharing! I definitely agree with you! We never know what someone is experiencing. It doesn't take a lot to be kind to one another 🙂

@beck1

I wish people understood that just because I'm high functioning doesn't mean I still struggle. People who are levels 1 on the spectrum (like me) have a easier way to mask ourselves and for me I'm too scared to say a single word to anyone without struggle how the conversation will go. Like having co workers giving me attitudes for no reason makes it harder to know what to say or do. I like learning and have a plan, having claim this was the plan and im just getting clerarity is not me starting a arugment or anything. I wish people understand that communication is hard for people on the spectrum. I still struggle with communication to this day.

@Vivikun9

I absolutely agree. Its sad, but people often look at the outside of a person to determine how much they are struggling or how much help they need. Its sad and it definitely shouldn't be that way.

I definitely agree about masking too. If you were to describe masking to someone who doesn't understand what it is, how would you describe it?

Masking to me is like wearing a masquerade full face mask with a expression that is completely opposite to how we're feeling but almost like we're force to wear it everyday and it's hard to know when to take it off

@Vivikun9

Wow this is a very good description of masking. Thank you for sharing!

My son and husband has autism and although skills are often splintered but autism is truly their super power and the focus and brilliance for maths and sciences ….

I enjoy seeing the world 🌎 through the two men in my life. 💙💙💙

@SunShineAlwaysGrateful

I am glad that they have such a supportive person in their lives!

@beck1

I want them to know that I am autistic and I don't have autism. Because autistic is something that we are, not something that we have to be cured.

@LifeIsMyCanvas

That is definitely an interesting thought! I know that sometimes people do say certain things because they don't know the right way to say it!

@beck1

That's why I would tell them! Most of the wider autistic community on the internet/in person that I have come across prefers identity first langauge over person first clinical langauge. Many are quite offended when people say 'with' or 'have' autism so I don't use them now to be polite to my fellow autistics :)

I have Autism myself,

to all the boys/men girls/woman and what ever you identify as,

power to the survivors

@goodGrapefruit5502

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@smileking this is absolutely right! I'm sorry that people bully you ☹️

All love ❤️ Sorry to hear this smile :(

People with ASD are not Forest Gump or Rain Man

If someone with ASD doesn’t make much eye-contact it’s because they find it easier to process info that way and is not a “You are not worth my attention” vibe

@GoldenRuleJG

Absolutely agree with both of these points! Thank you for sharing

@beck1

Just one thing? I wish people do not take offence for me taking things literally. Often, if I'm in the more neurodiverse circle of people, me taking things literally is taken with light laughter or even taken seriously and it leads to more discussion. Other times, people blame me for being immature, deliberately disruptive or even stupid. I've learned a lot of idioms and 'figure of speech' phrases but it's still quite difficult to navigate the complex webs of social interactions...

@MoonViber I'm sorry to hear that people don't always understand the meaning behind something that you say. I hope that this is a safe environment here that you feel you can be yourself