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Aging Up Support Thread

Hope January 31st, 2020

Hi everyone! In the past few weeks, the Teen Leadership Team has been brainstorming ways to better support our transitioning teens. In an attempt to provide you with a space where you can get support on transitioning into the adult side we are launching this Teen Transitioning Support Thread. Here is it how it will go:

â This is a safe space for all teens who are soon aging up or have recently aged up to share anything that concerns them about the transitioning process, ask questions and get support.

â The thread will be monitored by our Teen Transitioning Mentors. Most of our Teen Transitioning Mentors have gone through the aging up process themself and are passionate about supporting our transitioning teens. They will respond to the members posting in this thread.

Important!

â This is not a place to get support on matters other than aging up as a teen. This is so we can focus our resources on supporting the teens who are going through the transitioning process. If you are looking for support on a personal matter/in need of a listener, please check our browse listener page.

*Aging Up: A period when a member/listener who joined 7 Cups as a teenager turns 18 and is moved to the adult side. It is also referred to as the transitioning period.

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This post is brought to you by the Teen Transitioning Program. Please read about it here.

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pluckyVillage735 December 15th, 2023

@Hope I cannot feel anything at all. Things have been harder much before.I would have wished today is probably a day something magical happen.I only know that it's very unlikely to happen.🌻

1 reply
ASilentObserver December 18th, 2023

@pluckyVillage735 Thank you for sharing, Plucky. It sounds like you have been feeling numb and that things have been difficult for a while. You mentioned wishing for something magical today - what would that look like for you? 

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Enchanted2024 January 1st

@Hope

the thing that scares me is that I’m going to have to make friends all over again, I won’t see a lot of my teenie friends for a while except for in forums and I will be surrounded my adults. I’m not ready to be an adult 😭😂

3 replies
ASilentObserver January 4th

@Swiftygirl13 It is understandable to feel apprehensive about the changes ahead and having to form new relationships. Transitioning to a different stage of life can stir up many emotions.  You have gotten this far in life by adapting to challenges along the way. Know that uncertainty is natural, and this feeling will pass in time. For now, be gentle with yourself as you adjust. What worries you most about connecting with adults in your new environment?


2 replies
Enchanted2024 January 4th

@ASilentObserver

i’ve never mentally been up to date. I tested at 4 years younger than my legal age so I’m worried I won’t be able to connect because I’m to immature still


1 reply
ASilentObserver January 10th

@Swiftygirl13 It sounds like feeling immature is weighing on you.  You are understandably concerned, yet remember that true connection comes from within. Each person has their path in life. What worries you most about not being able to connect with others?


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ViaAlarie January 2nd

Not me being an adult in 55 hours-

3 replies
ASilentObserver January 4th

@ViaAlarie It sounds like becoming an adult so soon is bringing up mixed feelings. What thoughts or emotions are you experiencing as the change approaches? 


@ViaAlarie


welcome to the lair side

1 reply

Oldie side

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Mindplane1479 January 9th

@Hope I had a listener who I talked to for about 50 days straight when I was 17, when I moved to the adult side it erased my old chats and when I tried to access them the messenger refused to load. Does anyone know how I can fix the issue. Would I be allowed to put the name of the listener here to see if any knows how reconnect with them?

17 replies

@Mindplane1479

 only way u can talk to them In 1 to 1 chats is when they age up to tho.  Until then you will not be able to chat with then though 1 to1 chats

1 reply
Mindplane1479 January 9th

@Powerandsunset25 Alright thanks, is there a way to contact them asking them to do this?

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ASilentObserver January 10th

@Mindplane1479 Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It sounds meaningful to have connected with a listener for that time. Losing access to past conversations can feel disappointing. What kinds of feelings arise as you reflect on that past support and your hope to reconnect?


What we can do is, if you have their username, you can tag them here and I can reach out to them 1-1 to inform them about your aging up and this post link, so they can able to connect with you here. We are all here with you Mind. 

14 replies
Mindplane1479 January 11th

@ASilentObserver , Thank you, I'd really appreciate it if you could help me reconnect with them. The listener is from the UK and their username is rufuss3 

3 replies
Mindplane1479 January 14th

@Mindplane1479 Idk how tagging a person works so sorry if this post is bizzare. @rufuss3 can you see these messages?

ASilentObserver January 16th

@Mindplane1479 tagging @rufuss3 

1 reply
Mindplane1479 January 24th

@ASilentObserver Thank you.

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Mindplane1479 January 13th

@ASilentObserver In terms of the feelings created. I've had a lot of difficult experiences recently and find them quite difficult to describe or talk about, having a listener who is familiar with the whole context let me vent about something that seemed minor or a sudden feeling without having to relive the pain of the events. I struggle with an undiagnosed condition affecting my emotional regulation and self control and being able to just message my thoughts without having to wait for a listener or always have take all the time needed for a full conversation. The symptoms of the condition almost entirely ceased.

9 replies
ASilentObserver January 16th

@Mindplane1479 Thank you for sharing about your recent difficult experiences and struggles with emotional regulation. It sounds like having an empathetic listener who can create a safe space for you to vent without judgment would be helpful. 

rufuss3 January 28th

@Mindplane1479 hi! sorry it's been such a while i only just managed to find my way here - how are you doing? last we spoke you mentioned exams coming up and you had lots going on - how's it all going? 

7 replies
Mindplane1479 January 30th

@rufuss3 Don't worry about the time taken it's okay. Yeah its been crazy, the mocks were disappointing but not bad I'm still on track but the status quo of how everyone preforms was pretty much kept the same. I got a bronze medal and won a fight at the Welsh Schools Regional Judo Championship. My condition is stable but I had one episode after letting my guard down and now the school is on my case saying if it happens again I'll be considered a risk to myself and/or others and be partially excluded. I should pass my driving test soon according to my instructor while Zoe passed hers. Speaking of her, she, along with the friend who was saying that I wasn't qualified for the Judo, agreed to talk with me about the offence they were causing me but refused to apologise for any of it and said I was ungrateful. Another of my friends keeps skipping lessons and running away from situations crying due to blaming the two I spoke to, They're denying all wrongdoing and now I'm trying to figure out how I can help both sides of the fracture in my friend group. That other girl I liked allegedly has a boyfriend but publically stated she doesn't want any relationships so thats gone. Most of this won't make sense to anyone else reading the thread.

3 replies
rufuss3 February 1st

@Mindplane1479 Firstly, congrats on the medal and the Judo win man that's amazing!! I hope you're really proud of that, thats so cool and proof all your work is really paying off <3 im glad things are stable but I'm sorry to hear about the episode, how are you feeling about it all? it sucks that the school are still handling it so poorly, thats really not great ): 

and it sounds like the two of them really are not a positive impact on the people around them, with all the things you've previously said as well as this, and im so sorry you've gotta deal with that ): but its not your responsibility to mediate and peace keep, as much as it may feel like thats what you want to do. Do you think there's any way you can console the friend and also look out for yourself without causing further issues or maybe a way you could get other people involved to help to diffuse the situation? 

Mindplane1479 February 1st

@Mindplane1479 Thank you. It seems to have kinda fizzelled out with the issues in my friend group but thats not for sure, so I'll ask how my friends are and see what I can do. And yeah the school sucks but I'm waiting until I'm famous so I can shame all people who act like that.

rufuss3 February 3rd

@Mindplane1479 im glad things have died down a bit that must be a big relief - and yeah in a few months you'll be free of them and it'll be alright (: 

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Mindplane1479 February 10th

@rufuss3 I'm still not completely content to just wait until the end of 6th form since I'm trying to get my project to go ahead but yeah I get the idea. I had a pretty bad argument with my parents after I got mad after failing a driving test. I wont go into specifics because the stuff my family said may be too disturbing for some people and I don't know how to put a content warning on it. But things are stabilising.

1 reply
rufuss3 February 14th

@Mindplane1479 i'm sorry to hear that, that sounds like it was quite an upsetting time- do you feel safe and okay at home still, and do you have a point of contact in person to support you of you need it? and i'm sorry to hear about the driving test - how are you feeling about it? I'm glad things feel like they're stabilising and i fully understand not wanting to just wait it all out, but are things okay with your parents - do you feel safe and happy? 

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Mindplane1479 February 18th

@rufuss3 Im safe but not happy, i just cannot deal after failing the driving test im in a complete dark place and im just upset even more about it than the leadership committee. I keep trying to get upset in a quiet way but its always too loud and i get complaints from my family. i just hate my family and im very direct with them about how i wish i wasnt related to them and how they are evil. i just hate my life and i cannot manage, i just cant really trust anyone because the school is against me. Im mad at zoey because she said she did nothing wrong to me and how i shouldnt complain and im being ungrateful and i hate how she passed and gets everything but i just get constant abuse and get told im wrong for saying how i hate them.

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 As I recall teen that aged up normally make a forum post and keep in touch there until other one ages up

aly1313 January 21st

is adult same as teen just adults? 

1 reply
ASilentObserver January 22nd

@aly1313 yes aly. <3 we have adult side where adult members and listener participate to support each other. 

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@Hope well my birthday is in 2 days...nd i m gonna be an adult !!! any tips for adulting??? 


1 reply
Heartsandrosesandpaws February 29th

@conscientiousScarf7337

 here is something that may help you with aging up to oldie side https://www.7cups.com/forum/agingup/General_2532/Whattoexpectwhenyouageup_306402/

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lovingRainbows2088 February 29th

@Hope

Thank you for this information

SystemFireSkye March 28th

@Hope

Age up in April, feeling nervous,idk why exactly, already missing teen friends. 5 years on teen side,jus idk what to think.

4 replies

@SystemFireSkye

if you have a listener accout you can become a adult teen listener   Here more information https://www.7cups.com/forum/agingup/AdultTeenListenerProgram_2487/BecomeAnAdultTeenListenerATLSupportTheTeenCommunity_292412/ or you can make forum post to keep in in touch.

i have seen  people aged up  from the teenside in the rooms at times.

3 replies
SystemFireSkye April 1st

@Heartsandrosesandpaws

Thanks for the information, much appreciated 👍

I do want to create a forum,or thread or post lol whatever its called,I jus don't remember how. Can u help? 

2 replies
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Yazminnz27 October 1st

I recently turned 18, and honestly, I'm numb. I planned lots of things for that day but none of them occurred. Perhaps it wasn't a bad thing either. It just makes me feel like planning for the future is useless in a chaotic world :\ Current events aren't helping either. 

1 reply
ASilentObserver October 4th

@Yazminnz27 Belated happy birthday, Yazminn, and welcome to adulthood. It seems like you were hoping for a good time on your birthday, but instead, you felt let down by both yourself and others—such disappointment stings. But please know you have all of us here to help and support you while you transition to adulthood. Check out our Transition FAQs here: https://www.7cups.com/forum/agingup/AgingUpSupport_1766/TeenTransitionFAQs_337189/ 

or request for transition support request here: 
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfed4W09cnD4vPH09z7GRdrs64Jlu_qzavj6DHRF9oWGEFT5Q/viewform 

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