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pluckyVillage735
1 3,104 M Seeking Light
PathStep 42 Compassion hearts195 Forum posts69 Forum upvotes97 Current upvotes97 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceMarch 31, 2023
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When papa says you can't.
General Support / by pluckyVillage735
Last post
 September 5th
...See more Please 7 cups door keepers, I couldn't find  a community on domestic violence.If there is, please let me know.This post maybe contains triggering information. That's why.I am fine with removing this thread if this doesn't obey the rules and is hurting someone. When papa says I can't One day I am gonna spread my wings  And fly to some unknown place Any place where love exists I don't care as long as I am safe I love you papa! So much that  I can't stop believing you. Maybe maybe you are trying to motivate me  Don't you? But it hurts everytime when you say  "You can achieve nothin' like this You are lazy will sleep till noon" Yeah I did but I also tried so hard  Why the setback defines me more than What I achieved Sometimes I really want to have a papa Who sees me for who I am I just don't know papa. I will always love you No matter how you treat me  'Cause I have only one papa I don't know how to write songs or poems .this must be awful.but this is me managing my emotion. There are things I am not saying here.I don't want to trigger anyone who has gone through mental and physical violence at home by their own parents. It's hard when they are the only ones we have to look up.I can't say my history I am tired for that. Please don't hate or judge.If I am a  brat then go through other things like you haven't seen this one.but still thank you for reading♡. ~plucky 
I am afraid to share this at sharing circle. It's too long.
Friendship Support / by pluckyVillage735
Last post
 February 8th
...See more Some listeners were eager to help me.but I think I can't make up my mind or I don't know what to do. Schools are starting here and I feel so afraid to go now. My problem I don't know how to start.but the situation has repeated in my mind over and over, I can remember it  It happened like this.please this will be long..so don't read if you don't want to.And please don't judge me.😭at the end I will tag some friends I met on cups. I don't have much friends at my new school.I [http://school.i/] have actually.they [http://actually.they/] care.but [http://care.but/] since I am so introverted, I can't relate them much.they [http://much.they/] let me be like that. That friend was someone I felt so relating like we are almost same. I don't usually bother anyone. Quiet and doing my own work.but [http://work.but/] after meeting that friend I felt I am not alone anymore.like [http://anymore.like/] that.and [http://that.and/] that friend's mom had to have a surgery. I offer her support eith everything I can.like [http://can.like/] how I will support if I am in that situation And this whole month I checked in with her and asked her well being..since we are studying, I even encouraged her to study more. But she sometimes began to ignore my messages. And I thought if something has happened. She is too not someone who reveal any problem she is in and I have known that. Last week monday, I haven't even got a good sleep.I [http://sleep.i/] know It's not an excuse.I [http://excuse.i/] asked if her mom is okay. She replied fine.since [http://fine.since/] it's so short I asked her if it's true. She replied in the lines. " I would like to be able to convince you that my mom is fine. And I misunderstood it and I thought her mom is not fine and she is going through this alone and it broke me.so [http://me.so/] I replied on the lines of How my father was in a similar situation and how I felt alone and I told her not to push me away and it hurts me when she does it. Turns out her mom is fine.and [http://fine.and/] I was mocked. Or whatever. She replied " that's not my type. I still think I can do everything on my own and I don't want anyone at my side.🤣" She is not wrong probably .she told me if I got into trouble she will be there on my behalf.but [http://behalf.but/] I was more than hurt.so [http://hurt.so/] I replied "please don't talk to me again even at school and I won't too at my part. And goodbye for a long time" It's been days now.but [http://now.but/] I actually hope she would talked to me but. She never did.now [http://did.now/] since schools are starting I will meet her [http://her.j/].I am not angry with her. But I feel that I was on a one sided friendship. She is a deputy head prefect and if she wants she can hurt me using her power.but I don't think she will go that far but. I feel anxiety and desperate. And I have my own problems with my parents fighting andd... and as i am an only child I don't have anyone to talk to, I am truly alone.it [http://alone.it/]'s like I lost something I truly adored. But I know I shouldn't have get attached to that friend this much. But what got me truly was How she was nice to me when I was alone at school (there was a function called The Science day.I didn't participate to those dancing , singing events and since most of the class have participated them I was so lonely and have been very down. That friend was in a drama, yet asked me if I can watch the rehearsal .and at that time I was for some reason has feeling very down mentally. I don't remember it but it was so stressful that just a word directed to me was enough to cheer me up . And after that in the library we even had a talk about gardening  and since she is an only child too how much we can relate.she even gave me some flower seeds to plant. When the vacation started, I sent her photos of beautiful nature scenes near my home and the plants I have grown.and the most important part was that her mom was sick and had to have a surgery. So that information was something that broke me out of my introverted shell.since she is an only child I have known how much it hurts to bear the pain alone.so I tried to help her I asked her well being everyday or very often.but after  a week she was ignoring my texts like she will read and  no reply.  Then there was a class I can meet her, I asked her what was wrong. Turns out her mom was sick again with another problem. And I said sorry.she said sorry too for not replying.  And the week after, when I met her at the class she met me and said she is going to another class and left.I didn't expected it and was hurt somehow. I had planned to tell how my father was sick at covid time and how it was very difficult to go through it alone that day.so I went back home without staying to the class. She She hadn't known it. But next week I told her I came back home that week.after that everything changed. I too learned I have got so attched to her now.I sent her this picture too. As much as I don't want to admit I know now taht I have got attched to her a lot . as I said earlier I stopped talking and texting.but I had alittle hope she will talk back despite all. I even called her asked her if she is okay back then.but nothing at all.now I wonder all of this have been a one sided friendship.she is a good person.but I am not good at communication skills either.I overthink sometimes and end up thinking the worst.that night I was sleep deprieved too. Now I have to face this since schools are starting and I will meet her.probably she will not talk to me as I told. But no matter what I know it will hurt badly. So I am anxious to go on Monday.I can't study as I used to.it kept coming in my mind.probably she don't even think about me as I do. So that's all.thank you if you got this far .but I am not worthy that much.I am tagging my recently net friends here.but note that this friend is not rain okie? @teenmorgan16 @ASilentObserver @littlebirdie30 @sunisshinningandsoareyou @chillingrain   This picture is something I sent her.I think she got the wrong idea.she is probably thinking I am so clingy and coming after her.or something .or it's strange. It's fair since I am not talkative that much.but all I wanted was friendship. 😔
Why I cared too much.
Friendship Support / by pluckyVillage735
Last post
 February 4th
...See more Why I cared too much? You care to know? In order to forgot how much I am wounded and hurt , I unknownly was trying to fix you. It was only when you left  I got to understand I too have a little child who has gone through things they never asked for. That little child is hurt beyond healing.  That's why. When I got to know you are too hurt, that's from where that empathy came. That uneven empathy. Turns out, I just simply didn't wish for you not to go through the same pain. I can't scream and tell the world everything. But what I am showing probably is a years' practice of good acting 'I am fine' Yeah! Probably I am too selfish for hoping from a  little part of the heart  That you too oneday will ask if I am okay without me having to ask first.. So I can open up to you that abyss of a life I never showed . But it was never the time.we just crossed paths.that's all.may you have the best for you.don't turn back now. I have already drowned.  To.V.O.
To any friend I have met in my life
Friendship Support / by pluckyVillage735
Last post
 January 31st
...See more Watch the sky for me Count the stars for me If you can Name a star for me I didn't forget you. Probably  I am too have been selfish to leave suddenly  But I never forgets  Cause all I have are memories.  Great good memories  With every passing second they become good and old I wish I can re-live them again and again Sometimes all I wanted was none other than friendship.       Plucky~
To @teenmorgan16 my newest friend
Friendship Support / by pluckyVillage735
Last post
 March 7th
...See more Hey! I see that you have too gone for a self care break.I remember you okie friend. When you come back, let me know okie.I wish this friend all the best.never I will forget someone who has been nice to me even for a friend. With my soul, I can identify another soul who's all loving and caring.luv u Morgan friend ^^
To my listener friend rain, with luv
General Support / by pluckyVillage735
Last post
 February 19th
...See more My rain friend,    It's been two days since you went for a self care break. I know that you are not on cups currently. But since I am not forgetting my rain on cups I am writing this.         I hope you are taking care of yourself like you used to take care of me.I hope your finals are good.I hope you are working through struggles and moving mountains and still smiling since it's worthy to care for ourselves. You are one of the most resilient person I have ever met.      Now every day passing, I am trying my best to take care of myself.I imagine you are here. And talking to me when something is up.your words echo through the darkness I sometimes get into.Now I am starting to believe I will probably once again be able to love myself  a little more. I would do that for you. If we overcome the storms we are indebted to the sunshine, rain. I will try my best. So one day I can say 'I made it rain' I know you would be proud of me. @littlebirdie and @teenmorgan friends really helped me out.  So take care @chillingRain No matter where you are, I will remember you.I won't lose hope. I know you will come back once you feel like coming back after self care break. Luv u🌻😊           ...... ......... plucky, friend 
Lost : I miss a friend.Can someone help me find rain?
General Support / by pluckyVillage735
Last post
 February 2nd
...See more Rain, can you just for once tell me just one goodbye.rain I did only block that friend on one platform. Not here.on whatsapp.If she wants to contact me she have my number.she didn't.but I don't have anything to contact you.this is not fair rain.if this is punishment.   Plz @chillingrain
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