Aging Up Support Thread

@DraytonWantsToHelp

yes once you turn 18 you loose access to teen side.

You can keep in touch with your teen friends Using forums.

Also if u have listener account you can apply to become a teen adult listener so you can still be part of teen side as listener,

Here more information about becoming a adult teen listener https://www.7cups.com/forum/agingup/AdultTeenListenerProgram_2487/BecomeAnAdultTeenListenerATLSupportTheTeenCommunity_292412/

I am also trying to find the form to request a teen transition mentor that can help you with the transition to adult side.

@DraytonWantsToHelp hear the form to request a teen transition mentor that can help you transition to adult side. https://www.7cups.com/forum/agingup/AdultTeenListenerProgram_2487/BecomeAnAdultTeenListenerATLSupportTheTeenCommunity_292412/

@Hope

To be honest having to come to the reality that my birthday is almost up and I feel depressed on how my childhood was messy enough to were I don’t even want to acknowledge it. I don’t have friends that remember my birthday and I felt and tried to make this year good and I was actually feeling happy for the first time until everything fell apart and knowing that I had the ability of happiness but I let people around me and myself affect me is the hardest. I wish I was confident enough to be myself and not to let my emotions get the best of me. I don’t think am even prepared for college or university from fear of judgement.

@supernova84 i have also had a terribly messy childhood and i feel like im already an adult. it scared me so much i decided not to go to college, mainly bc i don’t have the money lol but my parents still treat me as a kid and my mom is constantly telling me “don’t think. just do what i tell u” she’s super controlling and narcissistic. ur a mother. aren’t u supposed to encourage ur children to be excited to grow up and to teach and aid in the process ? reassuring ur teen that everything is by ur side. she always puts me down and it makes me nervous for the real world.

@supernova84 Hello Supernova, thank you for sharing your feelings with us here. It sounds like reflecting on your birthday is bringing up difficult memories from your childhood. What matters most is how you see yourself now. You have made it this far - I believe in your resilience and ability to get the support you need. Please know we are all here with you to support you in this transition. 

 I would encourage you to fill Transition Support Request form here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfed4W09cnD4vPH09z7GRdrs64Jlu_qzavj6DHRF9oWGEFT5Q/viewform 

We will get through this transition period together! Sending some virtual cookies your way!! 

@Hope okey i do not want to even think about moving from the teen side to the adult side. Is the website going to change completely, or would it be the same? Will i be removed from the teen community room for example? I am quite new so i don't know how any of this works but, can someone please explain what changes 😅

@staymysterious61

i think the forums will be the same. but you won’t be able to message teen listeners anymore. you’ll be able to message adult listeners and ATLs. i think the chat rooms will be different as well

hope this helps (: 

@staymysterious61 Hello Stay, Welcome to 7cups, and thank you for reaching out with your question. I am Obs. 

It sounds like moving to the adult side is bringing up feelings of uncertainty for you. You are right to want clear information during this transition. Please know that 7 Cups aims to support all users through any changes in a thoughtful way and we are all here with you to support you during this transition. 

To answer your question, yes as you will age up, you will have access to adult group chats to get support. For more transition support, I would encourage you to fill Transition Support Request form here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfed4W09cnD4vPH09z7GRdrs64Jlu_qzavj6DHRF9oWGEFT5Q/viewform 

We will get through this transition period together! Sending some virtual cookies your way!! 

@Hope If I’ve been talking to a long term listener for a very long time like 1 year+ and they aren’t an adult will I no longer be able to talk to them?

@chillinchimpanzee21

 teen listeners can only talk to teens so once  you aged up you will not be able to chat with them until they aged up.

 I hope that helps you out.

@Powerandsunset25

 but you can always stay connected by forums.  Some teens that aged make a forum post to get in touch with teens

@Hope I am actually pretty excited about becoming in adult in the sense of the independance. I just hope i keep my head and stay responsible. 

@littlePond1213 It sounds exciting to gain more independence as an adult. Being responsible is so important as you move into this next chapter of life. What aspects of independence are you most looking forward to exploring? 

Also, you can submit a request for transition support here! We are all with you while you get through this transition process. <3

Thanks :)

I think I'm looking most forward to not having to wait for permission to do the things I want and handling "grown up" things like doc appointments and such.

@littlePond1213 yeah i get it you are looking forward to having more independence and control over your life. I can understand wanting to handle responsibilities in your way.

@Hope I cannot feel anything at all. Things have been harder much before.I would have wished today is probably a day something magical happen.I only know that it's very unlikely to happen.🌻

@pluckyVillage735 Thank you for sharing, Plucky. It sounds like you have been feeling numb and that things have been difficult for a while. You mentioned wishing for something magical today - what would that look like for you? 

@Hope

the thing that scares me is that I’m going to have to make friends all over again, I won’t see a lot of my teenie friends for a while except for in forums and I will be surrounded my adults. I’m not ready to be an adult 😭😂

@Swiftygirl13 It is understandable to feel apprehensive about the changes ahead and having to form new relationships. Transitioning to a different stage of life can stir up many emotions.  You have gotten this far in life by adapting to challenges along the way. Know that uncertainty is natural, and this feeling will pass in time. For now, be gentle with yourself as you adjust. What worries you most about connecting with adults in your new environment?

@ASilentObserver

i’ve never mentally been up to date. I tested at 4 years younger than my legal age so I’m worried I won’t be able to connect because I’m to immature still

@Swiftygirl13 It sounds like feeling immature is weighing on you.  You are understandably concerned, yet remember that true connection comes from within. Each person has their path in life. What worries you most about not being able to connect with others?

Not me being an adult in 55 hours-

@ViaAlarie It sounds like becoming an adult so soon is bringing up mixed feelings. What thoughts or emotions are you experiencing as the change approaches? 

@ViaAlarie

welcome to the lair side

Oldie side

@Hope I had a listener who I talked to for about 50 days straight when I was 17, when I moved to the adult side it erased my old chats and when I tried to access them the messenger refused to load. Does anyone know how I can fix the issue. Would I be allowed to put the name of the listener here to see if any knows how reconnect with them?

@Mindplane1479

 only way u can talk to them In 1 to 1 chats is when they age up to tho.  Until then you will not be able to chat with then though 1 to1 chats

@Powerandsunset25 Alright thanks, is there a way to contact them asking them to do this?

@Mindplane1479 Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It sounds meaningful to have connected with a listener for that time. Losing access to past conversations can feel disappointing. What kinds of feelings arise as you reflect on that past support and your hope to reconnect?

What we can do is, if you have their username, you can tag them here and I can reach out to them 1-1 to inform them about your aging up and this post link, so they can able to connect with you here. We are all here with you Mind. 

@ASilentObserver , Thank you, I'd really appreciate it if you could help me reconnect with them. The listener is from the UK and their username is rufuss3 

@Mindplane1479 Idk how tagging a person works so sorry if this post is bizzare. @rufuss3 can you see these messages?

@Mindplane1479 tagging @rufuss3 

@ASilentObserver Thank you.

@ASilentObserver In terms of the feelings created. I've had a lot of difficult experiences recently and find them quite difficult to describe or talk about, having a listener who is familiar with the whole context let me vent about something that seemed minor or a sudden feeling without having to relive the pain of the events. I struggle with an undiagnosed condition affecting my emotional regulation and self control and being able to just message my thoughts without having to wait for a listener or always have take all the time needed for a full conversation. The symptoms of the condition almost entirely ceased.

@Mindplane1479 Thank you for sharing about your recent difficult experiences and struggles with emotional regulation. It sounds like having an empathetic listener who can create a safe space for you to vent without judgment would be helpful. 

@Mindplane1479 hi! sorry it's been such a while i only just managed to find my way here - how are you doing? last we spoke you mentioned exams coming up and you had lots going on - how's it all going? 

@rufuss3 Don't worry about the time taken it's okay. Yeah its been crazy, the mocks were disappointing but not bad I'm still on track but the status quo of how everyone preforms was pretty much kept the same. I got a bronze medal and won a fight at the Welsh Schools Regional Judo Championship. My condition is stable but I had one episode after letting my guard down and now the school is on my case saying if it happens again I'll be considered a risk to myself and/or others and be partially excluded. I should pass my driving test soon according to my instructor while Zoe passed hers. Speaking of her, she, along with the friend who was saying that I wasn't qualified for the Judo, agreed to talk with me about the offence they were causing me but refused to apologise for any of it and said I was ungrateful. Another of my friends keeps skipping lessons and running away from situations crying due to blaming the two I spoke to, They're denying all wrongdoing and now I'm trying to figure out how I can help both sides of the fracture in my friend group. That other girl I liked allegedly has a boyfriend but publically stated she doesn't want any relationships so thats gone. Most of this won't make sense to anyone else reading the thread.

@Mindplane1479 Firstly, congrats on the medal and the Judo win man that's amazing!! I hope you're really proud of that, thats so cool and proof all your work is really paying off <3 im glad things are stable but I'm sorry to hear about the episode, how are you feeling about it all? it sucks that the school are still handling it so poorly, thats really not great ): 

and it sounds like the two of them really are not a positive impact on the people around them, with all the things you've previously said as well as this, and im so sorry you've gotta deal with that ): but its not your responsibility to mediate and peace keep, as much as it may feel like thats what you want to do. Do you think there's any way you can console the friend and also look out for yourself without causing further issues or maybe a way you could get other people involved to help to diffuse the situation? 

@Mindplane1479 Thank you. It seems to have kinda fizzelled out with the issues in my friend group but thats not for sure, so I'll ask how my friends are and see what I can do. And yeah the school sucks but I'm waiting until I'm famous so I can shame all people who act like that.

@Mindplane1479 im glad things have died down a bit that must be a big relief - and yeah in a few months you'll be free of them and it'll be alright (: