Is it possible to be emancipated from the darkest places of the darkness to then be emancipated from the darkness?

Living in the darkness with the darkest of thoughts plaguing my mind. It is my day to day place. That doesn’t mean that I am comfortable with my circumstances

I think due to the darkest of places that I am at . I am going to try and stay away from writing tonight.

I suppose I should at least leave a legitimate explanation for those few that may or may not show up here. .

With where I am at I will continue the self deprecation over and over and over again. I have done that enough here in multiple?threads? . Not sure of proper terminology. So I will avoid providing more of my self deprecating thoughts to my writings.

Hi!

Maybe this is what you should think of and declare today, from the Bible:

Hi!

Maybe this is what you should think of and declare today, from the Bible:

Friend.

If you want to I can hold your hand during the day today and you can hold mine (to strengthen me). But remember - I'm old as methuselah lol! 

I think it's understandable that things look and feel so dark right now. Your world was fairly small with work and home. Right now with the pain you're dealing with work has been impossible and home has probably begun to feel like a prison. 

I keep thinking of what you wrote to @Helgafy about how your thread was a space of positivity and togetherness. Tiny had commented in an early reply that I was the magnet but I don't think that is the case. I think Iam that you are the magnet because you drew us here.

I admire your honesty in your writings. We see the light you possess beyond the darkness. Why? How? Because you're a long time survivor too Iam. Even with the pain and dark thoughts you're struggling and fighting with you're still kind to everyone. You could be lashing out but you're not. I think that says a great deal about the heart and soul that is inside you. 

@Helgafy @mytwistedsoul @DarkBlueAurora @Tinywhisper11

I owe you and many others a debt that I will never be able to pay. Continuing to come back to my little places that I write and always validating my feelings and the things I write. Kindness, understanding, support, sympathy, friendship, love, compassion, words of wisdom and compassion. I will never understand how you all have the strength to read my writings and still be able to share your love with me. You can explain it to me , but those reasons don’t register with me.

I have probably told all of you this very same thing before.

It’s just that I live in this lonely darkness, and times like now, when I am alone in the dark, with the darkest of thoughts in control for an extended period of time, the thread that you all have intertwined in my single thread that I am able to hold onto keeps reminding me of your love and friendship, reminding me of the many hands intertwined with mine. No matter what the future holds for me, I will forever be thankful to all of you.

This stuff I struggle with doesn’t make sense with the things it creates inside me. This darkness in my thoughts somehow lets me see the things like I wrote above. Then twists that into guilt for feeling this way when there are so many here trying to help me.