Ramblings 3

It is hot here as well, not as hot as a lot of other places. But I am in bed most of the time and I have a fan if I need it to help.

I can’t imagine how miserable how the combination of the heat and the brace makes you.

Still foggy. Actually looked up recovery info for spinal fusion and I probably shouldn’t have. A lot longer than I expected. It just added to the stress of I am already dealing with.

❤️Hugs you❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami oooof!😕 yeah never look up illnesses on the computer, they always tell you the worst that can happen. If you look up symptoms/how to deal with a common cold, they will convince you your dieing😂😂 try not to look it up on the internet, I know it's easy to do though.

How are you feeling? Are you ready for Wednesday, don't be nervous, everything will be ok ❤ are you gonna be ok driving yourself there?? I'm really hoping your brain fog has cleared, ready for the drive. Hugs you tightly ❤ I'm here for you ❤ hugs you tightly ❤❤

@Tinywhisper11.

I am worried that between the extreme pain and panic attacks that I won’t be able to complete the scan. Then it will be another long wait for a mri with sedation appointment . Physically I am really struggling with the pain, everyday the pain levels and affected areas increases. Add in everything else and I am having my limits tested daily.

@Tinywhisper11

❤️❤️❤️Thank you….

@Iamwhoiamwhoami damn! I'm really worried about you getting to this appointment safely🙁 does music help to calm your nerves, or constant reassurance from the doctor, when your having the scan?? Cause they offer those things in the UK, so just ask them, if it helps. Just remember it's ok to ask for help ❤❤ just relax now today, it's all gonna be ok ❤❤ 

@Tinywhisper11

No need to worry, the driving part is the easy part. Painful but if it helps find a root cause and a start to a fix then it’s ok.

They tried things like that before. I would think that it should be similar this time. . I need to call them tomorrow and see what help I can get as far as wheelchair and whatever other assistance I may need for the appointment.

❤️❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami well I'm your friend, so it's my right to worry😁❤ if I could take all your worry away, I would ❤❤ I gotta go ❤ I'll check in on you as soon as I can ❤ I love you ❤

@Iamwhoiamwhoami I'm not sure what our time difference is, but have you managed to sleep at all?? I'm guessing your sleep routine is all over the place right now, but I hope your getting some rest 

@Tinywhisper11

I sleep off and on. You’re completely correct in the fact my routine is messed up. ❤️❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami time kinda gets lost, or doesn't exsist when your in pain, just trying to get through the days 🙁 but you will get your routine back one-day soon. For now rest when you can. Hugs you tightly ❤❤I love you ❤

@Iamwhoiamwhoami 

@Tinywhisper11 good morning ❤❤ how are you??

Nothing has changed here. How about you?

@Iamwhoiamwhoami im fantastically awesomely great😁❤ don't forget to ring the hospital today ❤ I just woke up, my morning routine looks like this

@Tinywhisper11

Sounds like I need some of your coffee… ❤️❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami 😂😂 coffee is bad for you, that's why I should drink it all😁 you can drink strawberry milkshake 😋 actually that's also had for you, so I'll drink all that too. You can drink water😁😂😂

How is your anxiety?

@Tinywhisper11

Anxiety is still riding high with everything else. ❤️❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami hugs you tightly ❤❤ at least tommorow you'll know more ❤ your doing so well with all this, you really are amazing ❤❤ a lot of other people I think would have given up, I'm very proud of you ❤ ❤

@Tinywhisper11

❤️❤️ Thank you so very much for everything ❤️❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami friends are always there for each other ❤❤

What thoughts are going through your head about tomorrow??

@Tinywhisper11

too many as always. But I suppose the ones in the leading pack are still about being able to get through the scan so that answers can hopefully start being found.❤️❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami you can do it, I know you can ❤ do you remember how your claustrophobia started?? I get claustrophobic too, it's not easy. But your gonna be ok ❤

@Timywhisper11

Not sure how or when it started. But after my breakdown several years ago, it started being noticeable. I didn’t realize how extreme it was until the mri awhile back.

I have been through a lot of anxiety/panic attacks, but adding the panic attack with anxiety attacks was the worst ones I can remember,(that doesn’t mean much considering my memory issues).

I will try and remember that you are holding my hand tomorrow ❤️❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami yep I'm holding your hand always ❤ and hugging you in my heart ❤ your gonna be just fine ❤ remember you are loved ❤

❤️🤝❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami 

@Iamwhoiamwhoami wait it's already the 14th 😮 I thought it was tommorow but it's today😱 quick get your @ss to the hospital

@Tinywhisper11 yep! Just double checked it's the 14th. Are you awake!?! Are you in your way!?!?

@Tinywhisper11 on* your way!??

@Iamwhoiamwhoami please wake up! Get ready you need to go

@Tinywhisper11

It’s ok, as of right now I have a few hours yet before I have to leave for the appointment. ❤️❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami oh thank God, I was really worried, I forget about time zones ❤ ok just a few hours, just take your time, deep breaths, every thing is gonna be ok. I'm with you, in spirit, holding your hand tightly ❤ I have every faith in you, you can do this ❤ hugs you tightly ❤ I love you ❤❤

@Tinywhisper11

I will try and remember that when I am at the mri. For now I’m just trying to close my eyes and zone out for a bit before I try and take a shower before I go.

❤️❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami ok sweetie ❤ take your time getting ready, don't want to be in inscrutiating pain before you start driving ❤ becarful please ❤

@Iamwhoiamwhoami Good luck today Iam! Tiny and I are waiting with you ❤️ I hope they find the answers for what's causing you so much pain 

@mytwistedsoul soul is holding your other hand, we are right here with you ❤

@Tinywhisper

@mytwistedsoul

Thank you .

@Iamwhoiamwhoami No pressure of course but if you're up to it afterwards - maybe give us an update? 

@mytwistedsoul

Going by previous experience, I probably won’t get any news today. Maybe tomorrow. I will try and update later.

@mytwistedsoul

Thank you for continuing to check in on me. Finally heard back from my doctor and they are referring me to a neurosurgeon and also referral for possibly pain injections.