Ramblings 3

@Iamwhoiamwhoami what about mentally, this is a stupid question, but how are you managing?? When is your appointment??? I'm really bad at remembering dates. Have you been in touch with your doctor?

@Tinywhisper11 and thanks for understanding ❤ I feel really bad about not being here for you

@Tinywhisper11

Please don’t feel bad.

@Tinywhisper11

Mentally, I am not doing that well. It has been extremely difficult for quite awhile to be able to come here and write. However currently, it is near impossible.

I think the appointment is on the 14th. Other than messaging, no.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami ok so only a week to go, your half way there ❤❤ mental health really sucks🙁 if it helps you at all, you can write just gibberish here, you don't have to write about anything in particular, just write anything. And know I'm hugging you in my heart forever and ever ❤

@Iamwhoiamwhoami good morning sweetie ❤ how are you doing? Sending you rainbows of love 🌈🌈

Same things as usual .How about you? ❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami it's not quite midnight and I've not long woke up, so just the same as you ❤😂😂 but I'm ready to face another day🙂 you know oneday we'll be healthy, and take over the world😈

@Tinywhisper11

With the bright light that shines inside of you, I am confident that you will.❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami 😂😂😂 thanks ❤😂😂 I'm gonna go and get my pigs out for a cuddle (guinea pigs) have you ever had any pets?? Here's my little ones

@Tinywhisper11

They look adorable.

I vaguely recall that I did, but I don’t honestly remember whether I did or didn’t.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami what pet would you like? If you were in good health?

@Tinywhisper11. They are so cute!

@adventurousBranch3786 thanks branch ❤ hugs you tightly ❤

@Tinywhisper11

So adorable!

@amiablePeace77 thanks Ami ❤ they are sooo cute, I love them so much

@Tinywhisper11

I don’t have any idea. I have been by myself for so long, I have struggled for longer, I am barely able to take care of myself. I just can’t imagine being responsible for an animal.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami yeah I understand ❤hugs you tightly ❤ how's your pain levels?

@Tinywhisper11

Currently not bad. Just constant. Once I stand up and move a little it goes up really quickly. I am getting used to it. It would be nice if I had someone to help with the stuff for insurance for disability and the rest. By the time I get to my desk I am in too much pain to try and concentrate.

❤️Hugs back ❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami will the doctor help you sort out disability? Cause you shouldn't be expected to work🙁 that's the last of your worries right now. I really hope this will all be sorted out for you soon. Hugs you tightly ❤ only 7 days and counting 

@Tinywhisper11

I am not sure if they could or not. ❤️Relishing your hug❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami hii sweetie ❤❤ just checking in on my favourite person ❤❤

@Iamwhoiamwhoami Hope things start looking better soon ^-^ 

@Iamwhoiamwhoami 

@Tinywhisper11 I really hope your ok ❤❤

I have completely lost track of everything, I am in this fog of something. I can’t think of a name for it. I don’t know what day it is, time itself seems nonexistent.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami oh, does it feel like your heads clouded over? Your going through so much right now, bless you 🙁 all you need to remember is your hospital appointment is on Wednesday ❤ is there anything I can do to help?? I really wish there was a way I could help. Hugs you tightly ❤ I'm right here for you, always. I know your not particularly religious, but I still pray for you every night ❤ I'm really worried about you

@Tinywhisper11

I suppose so. There’s really nothing to do until the 14rh. I appreciate your concern. ❤️Hugs accepted and hugs you as well ❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami 😥 waiting for an appointment can seem like an eternity way. It's really bad that you had to wait this long🙁 in so sorry sweetie. Have you had any luck yet from insurance and disability??

@Tinywhisper11

The first step for disability for me is through my insurance. If they approve I would get a percentage of my normal income while I am not working. That way I would have a little income to pay bills. Depending on what happens with all of this, I would then apply for disability through the government.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami I bet that's all playing on your mind a lot to🙁 how is your anxiety, are you worrying about your scan? Or are you just gonna be glad to get it over with at this point?

No matter what happens, I know I can't be there physically, but I'm holding your hand. And I'm never gonna leave you. I'm right here every step of the way ❤ I love you ❤

@Tinywhisper11

These latest things have all been added to the mix in my head. Pretty much all my issues are walking the high wire. As far as the scan is concerned , the main thing that concerns me is keeping my claustrophobia in check. At this point I’m wanting the results to show it’s serious enough for surgery. That is the only chance I can see that this pain can be minimized long term.

@Iamwhoiamwhoami not gonna lie, this is not a nice thing to say, but I hope they give you surgery aswell😕 the spine is not something to be messed with or taken lightly. But I know how painful it is, and it's hard to know your going through all this alone 😥 I'm also hoping and praying you will make a full recovery ❤❤

@Tinywhisper11

❤️❤️❤️

Thank you ❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami ❤❤❤

@Iamwhoiamwhoami I just found some drawings I did last xmas, and they made me think of you😁❤ may an angel be always by your side ❤❤

@Tinywhisper11

❤️You already are by my side❤️

@Iamwhoiamwhoami awww ❤❤❤

@Iamwhoiamwhoami I just had a nap, it's so hot here, I had to take my brace of to cook down then fell asleep🙂 I have to wear this huge special designed brace, cause otherwise I can't sit up, it just big makes things 10x hotter. 

I hope the weather is a bit cooler where you are ❤ how are you feeling now? Does your head still feel foggy?