When I'm angry, why do I always feel the need to hurt myself?
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Last Updated: 03/20/2022 at 8:30pm
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I've gone through the same myself. Personally, I know it stems from my need to get rid of some of the anger. Some people bite pillows, some people break things, other people, like myself, don't like to be destructive, so we turn the anger onto ourselves. It's a way to make sure you don't hurt anyone or anything else, and the endorphins often help to calm you down. I've come to learn there are plenty of other healthy ways to cope with the anger aside from hurting yourself!
Anonymous
July 1st, 2015 1:40am
Self-harm is an unhealthy way to cope with overwhelming emotions. It can bring us back into the real world, and get us out of our heads. However, there are other methods of dealing with sadness, anger, and anxiety that are actually beneficial, such as journaling, meditating, exercising, etc. If you ever even feel the need to hurt yourself, tell someone trustworthy, and see what you can do about speaking with a mental health professional. Hurting yourself is not an answer.
Anonymous
August 13th, 2018 2:53pm
for me,hurting myself is when i’m really angry or overwhelmed. And i think people don’t want to think about it or feel this heavy feeling in our chests and just hurt ourselves as a distraction.
Some people see it as some sort of outlet. A way that they can control what they are feeling. Maybe you are one of them. You just have to learn to control your anger.
Anonymous
July 1st, 2015 3:58pm
It is like another way of telling yourself, "This is my punishment" or "It is better to hurt myself than others."
Hurting yourself can be a form of addiction. It is best if you talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist. But if you can't, please find me or another listener to talk to. Many of us understand what it is like. It's not easy, but we can beat it.
I used to feel the same way when I would be angry. I realized it was because I was angry at myself than I was angry at anything else so all I wanted to do was cause myself more pain than anything else. Take a step back and think about it clearer now, are you angry at yourself or at something else?
Without knowing you personally and without a lot of context, I can conjecture but it might be completely off base. Knowing others with anger management issues has me thinking that the anger you're feeling is at yourself, so you're punishing yourself
I think you feel the need to hurt yourself because the physical pain hurts a lot less than the emotion and mental pain you feel inside. But hurting yourself is never the answer and there is always a more beneficial and helpful way to cope with those harsh feelings.
When people get angry, we mainly get the idea that we aren't worth much. I strongly suggest though you don't harm yourself in any way because you will eventually look back on it and regret harming yourself when you're mad. The best thing to do is to calm yourself down first, and reflect on what made you mad just so you know why it's not worth harming yourself.
When we don't feel we're worth being expressed, we tend to impress ourselves negatively using pain, because that's what we sometimes feel we deserve. With this low self-esteem, anger brings along with it negative impacts, such as self-harm.
In some cases, it's because you feel to need to punish yourself. In others, it's your cope mechanism, or a way to deal with something. If that's the case, I'd recommend finding a different way to deal with your problems rather than hurting yourself.
Anonymous
December 2nd, 2016 3:20pm
If you are angry, you probably think that hurting yourself will take way the emotional pain. You resort to physical pain when you no longer want to feel emotional pain.
maybe because you are angry and feel the need to hurt something, and feeling the need to bring physical pain to yourself to cure your anger
Anonymous
June 25th, 2015 7:05am
Anger is a natural response and so is hurting yourself with this emotion- it simply means you care enough not to hurt those you may love although different alternatives should be in place to avoid hurting yourself.
This might be because self harm releases endorphin's that tend to relieve you and make you feel more relaxed. It may also be because you feel like whatever has angered you was your fault so you take it out on yourself.
Anger is a very powerful emotion that cannot always be controlled by one's mind. Bottling up anger and not looking for healthy ways of dealing with it might result in your mind looking for any possible way of release. In this case, hurting yourself. It is always wise and safe to learn how to deal with powerful emotions like anger, before the tension accumulated could result in extreme acts.
I think its a way to cope with all the feelings inside of you and letting them out and making yourself feeling more relax. When you don't know how to make yourself feel better na dletting out all that anger, you feel like you want to hurt yourself. Especially if you have thoughts of being failed in life or have bad confidence all that anger inside of you turns against yourself.
Sometimes when I've experienced anger, it's because I made what I thought was a big mistake. So I'm upset with myself. Maybe I'm embarrassed or experiencing a memory of being told in the past that I was an embarrassment. There have been times that the desire to punish myself was the thing I needed to do. So I'd hurt myself. At other times, I didn't want to feel that emotion, so I'd hurt myself. There could be a lot of reasons that someone might hurt themselves when angry, but in my experience it is the emotions under the anger that are creating the feeling that i need to hurt me.
Anonymous
February 6th, 2016 8:52pm
What you state is a great feeling of helplessness. Try channeling that helplessness using a stress ball or performing tasks breathing .
There was a time in my life when this was the case for me. Thankfully it isn't any longer. I'm not sure if there's any one clear reason why I did it. It sort of felt like the natural reaction at the time. I think part of the reason that I did it was that I had difficulty channeling my anger in any other way. I wanted to hurt something, but I didn't want to hurt other people, so I hurt myself. I also think I might have been trying to punish myself for getting upset in the first place. I'm not really sure.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2015 6:24pm
Anger can trigger emotions to mix up and overwhelm you. I certainly advise seeking help from someone.
This is because you wish to punish yourself for your actions. No matter what scenario or circumstances an individual faces it is ultimately their response of whether to feel anger or not, and punish yourself accordingly.
Anonymous
October 12th, 2016 10:28pm
I think that for a lot of people, the pain distracts them from whatever is really bothering them. For me, it wasn't really like that, but more of a stress release so that I could focus on something that wasn't hurting me so much. I felt a lot more emotional than physical pain.
Hurting one self when they have intense emotions is one way we cope with things. In my opinion it shows that you don't want to hurt anyone and you care deeply enough to not hurt someone.
Well it is a type of coping strategy. It is common to feel that way, and a possibility to redirect that anger. Hurting yourself, in some people, releases endorphin and gives a sense of relief. Which could explain why it becomes a cycle and they keep hurting themselves. There are many reasons to start, and if you already have, their are guides to manage those emotions. Journaling negative emotions at that time or taking 5 minutes may help to control those urges as well as activities like art and exercise. There is always another way.
Anger normally results in the need to hurt something because taking your anger out on something help calms you down. If you're the kind of person that does not like to hurt others or you're a masochist, you will probably feel the need to hurt yourself.
Anonymous
October 13th, 2016 12:58pm
You feel angry but mostly from yourself. Things that triggered your anger may somehow be connected about you.
I think the same way it's just natural I tend to just think positive and keep my head up and so should you love because no matter what your special in else's someone's eyes
Self-harm may have become your automatic reaction to any kind of situations, whether it is to relieve pain or to give yourself more pain because you think you deserve it.
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