When I'm angry, why do I always feel the need to hurt myself?
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Last Updated: 03/20/2022 at 8:30pm
★ This question about Self-Harm was starred by a moderator on 5/12/2016.
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
January 1st, 2016 11:06am
I used to hurt myself when I was angry too, when I used to do it, it was mainly for a distraction and so I didn't have to focus on what was truly going on around me.
You probably like the idea of pain so when you hurt yourself the pain will then take your mind off things
I am saying this totally from my experience..I might be wrong here..but it's because you need control..or should I say you need your control "back" because when you are angry..you are actually in control of the anger and by hurting yourself...you are finding a way to vent it out..the quickest way actually, which will give you your control back.
Hurting yourself is a tell tale sign of anger. You may be feeling an enormous amount of emotion but have no release.
Anonymous
June 21st, 2015 1:01am
Sometimes when you're angry, you may feel the need to hurt yourself because you need some sort of release.
When we're angry, we tend to want to channel our anger. It might be that you're blaming yourself, and that you want to punish yourself. It's never healthy to hurt yourself, though, and it would be a good idea to try to find some other coping skills to use when you feel angry and have urges!
Anonymous
June 19th, 2015 3:17am
With Anger comes rage , and rage can make us do a lot of things that we can soon regret. So its important to sometimes take a deep breath count to 10 and then rethink the situation.
Anonymous
January 7th, 2016 4:55pm
Most people believe it gets ride of stress but that is not the case. It just usually makes the person feel relieved. But what your really doing is hurting yourself.
Anonymous
June 18th, 2015 7:57pm
I always had a really hard time accepting my anger and taking it out on myself seemed like an outlet that wouldn't hurt other people. So I do know that in my own case, over time, I taught myself that the only place to take out my anger was on my skin. It turned my anger into physical pain and physical pain is something that I knew how to deal with.
Anonymous
January 8th, 2016 6:41pm
Sometimes when you become angry you start to feel numb and the only way to stop the numbness can maybe be to hurt yourself. It is a way to stop the numbness. A bad way at that too.
because its away to deal with the problem, when you don't have healthy coping mechanisms,
you can do different ways to deqal with it
I have emotions built up inside of me, only knowing one way to let them out. The release is what we get addicted to, really, because we crave the feeling. It's hard to express anything any other way after that point. You feel like you won't be accepted, even more so because of this, if you already were before. You feel all alone, with no one else understanding what you're going through, and that's understandable. But it also isn't true. I'm here, and so are SO many others who genuinely care and want to listen, to help.
A lot of the times when i am angry and want to hurt myself its because i do not want to hurt anything or anyone else
Anonymous
January 13th, 2016 7:08pm
Sometimes people would rather take out their angry emotions on themselves rather than hurting other people that they care about. .
Because it is hard to express your emotions sometimes and can end up blaming yourself for the tricky emotions.
Anonymous
December 7th, 2015 4:49am
I cant speak for anyone else besides myself. But a majority of the time Im angry is over something stupid I did, or some mistake I made. "me" is the common theme for my anger. And most of the time I become angry at myself I feel the same way you are.
Anonymous
June 21st, 2015 4:42pm
You can feel the need to hurt yourself when you're angry to release some of that emotion on yourself. Some people do it to feel calm, or level but there are better ways of calming down than injuring yourself.
Sometimes when we don't know how to control our emotions or have my way to channel those feelings physical harm seems like a "release" to let all those emotions out, but there are other, safer and more beneficial options out there. There are many coping tools available, instead try closing your eyes and counting to ten, then back down to 1, focus on your breathing and as you exhale imagine the negative feelings being released as well....hope this helps.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2015 3:26am
Because we tend to internalise our anger and think that we need to be punished somehow for feeling that way.
Usually when a person is angry and they want to hurt themselves its mostly because they cant take their anger out elsewhere. When you get angry and feel that need, writing the thoughts and the feelings down helped me a lot when i was going through that same problem, after i wrote it down if i was still angry i would flush the paper in bits down the toilet and i would be calm by then. If you do not flush it down the toilet you could always keep a journal where you have all the times you have been mad.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2015 4:10am
For some people, holding in their anger doesn't work for them. They feel the need to express it, whether verbally or physically. Sometimes they express it outwards, to others or objects, and some express it towards themselves, through self mutilation. most of the time because they feel like they deserve it and the only way to feel better is to harm themselves, whether its by cutting, burning, throwing up, starving themselves, or any other way. If that's how you do it than you are not alone, but there are people out there who want to help you because it will get worse it you don't try to control it.
Anonymous
June 24th, 2015 4:45am
It releases endorphins, they cause a sort of high. It makes you feel relieved. Instead of hurting yourself, perhaps try punching a punching bag or screaming into your pillow.
Self-harm can cause the temporary release of a neurochemical that relieves stress (but then it fades)
When people get angry, we mainly get the idea that we aren't worth much. I strongly suggest though you don't harm yourself in any way because you will eventually look back on it and regret harming yourself when you're mad. The best thing to do is to calm yourself down first, and reflect on what made you mad just so you know why it's not worth harming yourself.
Anonymous
July 1st, 2015 3:58pm
It is like another way of telling yourself, "This is my punishment" or "It is better to hurt myself than others."
Hurting yourself can be a form of addiction. It is best if you talk to a psychologist or psychiatrist. But if you can't, please find me or another listener to talk to. Many of us understand what it is like. It's not easy, but we can beat it.
I used to feel the same way when I would be angry. I realized it was because I was angry at myself than I was angry at anything else so all I wanted to do was cause myself more pain than anything else. Take a step back and think about it clearer now, are you angry at yourself or at something else?
Without knowing you personally and without a lot of context, I can conjecture but it might be completely off base. Knowing others with anger management issues has me thinking that the anger you're feeling is at yourself, so you're punishing yourself
I think you feel the need to hurt yourself because the physical pain hurts a lot less than the emotion and mental pain you feel inside. But hurting yourself is never the answer and there is always a more beneficial and helpful way to cope with those harsh feelings.
In some cases, it's because you feel to need to punish yourself. In others, it's your cope mechanism, or a way to deal with something. If that's the case, I'd recommend finding a different way to deal with your problems rather than hurting yourself.
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