Why is it so hard to talk to an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend?
257 Answers
Last Updated: 05/13/2022 at 8:30am
Perfect therapy for people who need help. I would like to say, I never can imagine it could be possible to heal people like that
Ta
Tania
Moderated by
Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst
Licensed Psychoanalyst
I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
January 27th, 2018 12:22am
Memories of the past that can trigger your happy memories together and sad memories. It mix and you feel attacked by so many feelings.
Anonymous
February 3rd, 2018 7:11am
It's hard to talk to an ex most of the time because of the good times you shared as well as the feelings you once (but may not anymore) share. You gave a very important part of yourself to them during the course of your relationship, but now that you've taken that piece back, it may be hard or awkward because seeing them reminds you of times past. However, tough times don't last; you'll find someone to appreciate you fully for who you are soon if you haven't already, and over time it may get easier to talk to them.
Anonymous
February 7th, 2018 2:05pm
It’s so hard because when you break up, the feeling are sometimes still there and you have all those memories. It’s like in the movie ‘Inside out’, when all these memories used make her happy then, sadness touches them and they aren’t happy memories anymore. Its hard to remember.
Anonymous
February 10th, 2018 12:12pm
It might be hard to talk to an ex because you could still have feelings for them or maybe you don’t want to embarrass yourself
It is difficult to talk to your exes because being around them reminds you about your painful breakup it is never a good idea to stay in touch because then it will make things difficult in your life to move on.
It's hard to talk to them because once upon a time, you were their world and now, all they bring are memories of when you two were together and happy.
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 9:15am
Because of the relation ship you have had before and the connection thats why its better to always have at least a week of break to not talk to eachother
Because of all the past memories that you made with that person, and now it seems awkward to talk with them.
Anonymous
March 14th, 2018 2:56pm
An ex boyfriend or an ex girlfriend is someone wirh whom you were romantically involved.It doesn't matter who ended it but the end of the relationship makes ot difficult to talk cause your previous relationship wirh them is no more
It's just natural that it is weird to talk to someone after your relationship changed, it is new for both of you to be in this role, to not be the boyfriend/girlfriend anymore. And there is probably some negative feelings involved because of the breakup, and the fact that you two have a lot of history.
Because sometimes you might still love them but in another kind of love and it is hard to see someone that got away
If there was a lot of hurt feelings involved in a breakup, there may be a lot of hurt between you. Depending on the reasons for the breakup, it can feel as if there's an unbreachable gap between the two of you.
There could be many reasons, but mostly it happens bcs you have something to share, memories, feelings. You've been bounded to each other mentaly, and that makes you more than two random people. Someone takes it easy, someome has to suffer. Move on, be patient and everyting will be fine
It's probably difficult to talk to an ex because it ended poorly, or even if it didn't, you just feel awkward after it ends.
because there are so many raw emotions that you had with that person and i believe if you truly love someone you will always still care for them regardless of what has happened.
Anonymous
June 29th, 2018 1:57pm
Because we used to know them as our significant one but now they aren't significant anymore to us. And it makes everything awkward and strange.
When someone used to be a big and important part of your life, it can be difficult to share or open that part of you again after the relationship is over.
it's so hard to talk about an ex-lover because it just seems unnatural to talk about regular stuff when they still know so much about you, it's hard to treat an ex pretending nothing ever happened between you two.
Most of the time, when you are over someone or they have done you wrong. It is harder to reconnect with them. Especially after you have healed
It's hard to talk to them because there is a lot of painful memories and nostalgia left, and that can be triggering for a lot of people.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2018 8:40am
Feelings from the past begin to surface, and it may lead to unwanted emotional confusion, even if one felt perfectly fine minutes before the chat. Now, they may feel as though they need to re-enter the relationship, even if they felt previously content without the significant other.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2018 11:03am
I believe some people may find it hard, this could be because they are scared they may start catching feelings for their ex. Or, it could be the fact they caused you emotional scarring that you have not yet healed from.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2018 3:33pm
I have no idea. I thing is like, we were so close to that person that when we break that connection is like everything is different.
You cannot kiss his/her lips again, you are not dating
You cannot tell him/her about your day, they don't care
You cannot have sex with him/her again, you broke up.
You cannot tell him/her about your worries, they don't care.
If they broke our hear it is even worst. The person we loved more is hurted us. They broke our trust on them.
I think is because we use to be so close to them that now we have no idea how to deal with the separation and our minds just tells us to avoid eachother until they are healled, but they are never fully recovered, so you never talk again
Anonymous
July 19th, 2018 1:18am
Built up frustration, hurt, anger. Self doubt. A lot of things play in to why it is so hard to muster words to those who hurt you or who you've hurt.
As a listener I see that you are wanting to open that box back up that you want to connect again. Maybe it’s hard to talk to them because you feel like they will use the knowledge that they have known of you against you maybe they’ll say things that hurt you because they know how to get to you or maybe it’s just really hard because you had that person in your life one time and you never truly let go so you still have that little little cherry seed in your heart for them
It is hard because you have a negative history, and many of the relationships didn’t end well. The negative history is always there and is easy to remember in the wrong times
Anonymous
August 2nd, 2018 1:44am
As we do had a mutual relationship where we share personal lives of each other and since it is broken and the heart is like a rice becoming a porridge after being slit half or failed down then it will surely be hard to talk to them as it includes deep and hurting emotions
It is never physically hard to talk to anyone.
Emotionally - Only if you hold emotional pressure:
It might mean that you have some unresolved issues, you may want your ex to aknowledge the pain they caused, or the pain of break up.
It is a very personal thing, but at the end of the day, if you want to talk to someone - just call them.
Talking to people with an open mind solves ALL communication/interpersonal problems.
You two shared a connection that couldn’t be shared with just anybody. When that goes, there isn’t really anything to talk about. You loose that spark you both once had and now it’s like you’re strangers again.
Anonymous
August 12th, 2018 12:54am
I think it's hard because we always have some feeling there; whatever it is, something remains still
Related Questions: Why is it so hard to talk to an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend?
How to get over someone you have to see everyday?My long-term boyfriend told me that my mental health has affected him and he just wants to be friends as though nothing more ever happened. This really hurts me. What should I do?Can or should I ask my significant other to stop talking and to not associate with his ex? If so, how? How do I know if I'm in a toxic relationship?Why are we fighting over small and stupid things?What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?He said I was perfect for him, but he chose someone else?I regret breaking up with my ex. What should I do?How to get closure from my ex? I feel I need it.I love two different people. What should I do?