Why is it so hard to talk to an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend?

Memories hurt. And it will always come back to you because at one point, that person was someone you love and someone who brought you so much happiness. No matter how it ended, it's always difficult talking to them again knowing that once upon a time, they were the one of the most important person in your life. There will be so much 'what ifs' and 'could've been' but everything is not the same anymore.

It is hard due to the relationship that you had with with. You collected a series of memories that are and always will be a part of your life. It is hard due to those memories that have been created.

It is hard to talk to an ex-boyfriend because of the memories. After a break up, you put a lot of effort to "survive" the break up. And sooner or later, you succeed. When one of the two wants to start talking again, it is possible that one of them might not have really moved on. Suppose you are that one, talking with your ex-boyfriend will bring your memory back and you will experience pain again. it is in general hard to accept something we thought would last forever. Nobody starts a relationship thinking it will come to an end someday...

It's not hard in general. I saw all possibilities, easy, hard, and all in between. Depends on multiple things, or forces. Memories, habits developed together, especially those negative ones. These get activated, and it's like both individuals see through glasses with thick colored glasses. Somehow, whenever you see a person from the past, it's like everything continues from where it was last time. Clearly generates confusion. Another thing is clearly the actual dissonance between the two. In the past, this dissonance was there, but individuals worked subconsciously to get over it, being together, forced to create harmony, for the relationship to continue. But after you get separated, no need for that work. And when you come back together, dissonance is very sharp and clear. As it always was, but now there is no active work to balance it. Then you have the current situations. He might be involved in another relationship, she might be involved in another relationship. Those partners are watchful :D The current relationships, are blocking. Then you have potentially repressed things, that were never said, and when you get together again, those things bubble up, and distort the contact, making it hard to happen. Plus other micro forces that i cannot recall now. But these are most important ones i see.

It can be difficult because at one point in your life, that person was everything to you. You guys shared a strong bond together, and knew everything about one another. It can be difficult to talk to an ex because after the relationship ends, the thing you guys had together doesn't feel the same. You just see the person as part of your past who at one point meant everything you, and now you guys are strangers again. There could also be emotions felt by one party because in some cases, break ups are one sided with one person wanting to end it while the other wants to try to keep it alive.

You feel all the emotions rushing back, especially if the relationship was toxic you feel bad because you settled for less. Well, most of the time, we can't help but keep thinking about the relationship that was before, and it's hard to accept the fact that it's over now. And also, feeling of guilt, when you feel you could have saved the relationship. Most times we still feel something for our ex and we are a little bit scared that he or she might not feel the same way anymore. You might as well feel as if you have failed your ex

That's because usually people don't end relationships on a good note. A lot of things can happen, people can get hurt. Not only that, but one of the two people can even have some feelings left that they need to deal with. Personally, I think keeping in touch with an ex is never a good idea. Not even to remain friends, because one of the two will always be hopeful that the relationship can resume. People come and go and that's okay, though sometimes it's not easy to accept. Letting go and working/focusing on yourself is the best thing you can do in those moments. Just keep swimming!

You had a past filled with good and bad memories. When you see someone that you've made memories or have spent so much time with it's hard to ignore.

Sometimes it can be awkward to talk to an ex. You've had an intimate relationship and probably you're relationship transcended you two and affect your family too. It is okay if you can't be friends to you're ex and if you need your privacy to mourn for the end of the relationship. Just remember to always be polite when it comes to other people! If for some reason you need to keep in contact with an ex and you're having trouble with it, you can talk to people you trust so you can work though the awkwardness and other negative feelings.

It can be tough to talk to a former partner as we sometimes so worried about still having feelings for the person that we talk too. When we dated them we saw something special there so even those we are talking to them in the past tense the fear of holding on cna be scary. I can relate to this directly with my experience of a breakup that I was scared of talking to my former partner as the feelings would still be there but also at the ned of the day I knew that I had to take a leap of faith. Even those some breakups work out well it's matters on the boundaries that you set up between the both of you and how you both approach it.

Well first off, it's hard to talk to someone who you either still had feelings for, or once had feelings for. It's all awkward. They could possibly have a new girlfriend/boyfriend and talking to them is awkward too. It is hard to not think about 'second chances' and what might have been, which may cause some tension. So I suppose the short answer is: it's awkward.

When we see an ex we are subconsciously trying to confront the failed relationship. It's overwhelming to feel so many emotions at the same time, hence its hard to talk to an ex. Trying to confront the past in general is a task that take a lot of courage. When we try to confront a past relationship, we are trying to confront all the emotional investment which we put into the ex and all the feelings of the breakup at the same time. It's easier to block and ignore such emotions rather than sorting them out. Maybe that's why we find it so hard to talk to an ex.

I think it depends on the nature of your relationship before you got together and how the relationship ended. Messy breakups tend to leave things in an awkward state. I have found that my partners that ended on mutual terms and who were my friends first have been the easiest to talk to afterwards because there are no hard feelings and we had a foundation of friendship built before it developed into a relationship.

Well, if the relationship was good I think it reminds us of what we lost which can be challenging. Conversely, if the relationship was dysfunctional it can remind us of that pain we felt with the other person. When I was younger I often tried to remain friends with my exes. I thought it was the mature decision. As I got older, I started to feel like cutting those ties was probably the right decision to avoid unnecessary pain and discomfort. As we age, if we're lucky, we get better at exercising self care.

It can often be difficult because many of us were once quite close to our exes. After the relationship ends it is common to disregard how close that relationship was. In my experiences it is difficult to set aside and forget how intimately you once knew the person. It is really tough to go from knowing everything about each other to just being friends, or pretending to be strangers with one another. Plus several relationships don't end on the best of terms. This could also make it difficult to communicate with an ex partner.

Sometimes we believe we have moved in from a person and even when you have a new partner, there may not have been enough "closure" and there may still be answers you need to find out. Despite how things end between two people, there will always be unanswered questions or unresolved feelings and this may not always be because you are still in love with them, but simply because things ended. No matter what happened between you and an ex, nothing can change the fact you were apart of each others lives and nothing can change the memories you created together. So even when things have been left on good terms, it can be difficult to talk to an ex because they used to be apart of your life and now they aren't. It's only human to miss an emotion or to look back on memories and have feelings. It doesn't mean you still care for them, it just means those memories remind you of a time when things were different.

Probably because you've been itimate. You know each other very very well probably to well. So you feel very reveled. So this makes it expremely arqaurd for you both. Or it ended badly and you just dont want to go there again so you just scared it may happen again. Or maybe you feel you'll get feelings back for them and you dont want that to happen.

Personally, I think it's because when you talk to them, it reminds you of your past feelings for them. But once you get used to this and work past it, a friendship can begin.

Because of the awkwardness. Maybe you and your ex broke up in a bad way, I mean not in a good or peaceful way with mutual agreement. So, you might still have the feeling of hate toward him/her, and perhaps the awkwardness because he/she has left you.

Because you've spend a very intimate period of time with them. That's not something that is easily forgotten. You are behaving very differently around them than from before and that can be awkward.

Because there's so much history. There's good and bad days and since it's all memories now it might be hard to overcome the past and live in the present. Talking to them will remind you of who you were before and usually, it's not a better version of yourself.

The reason you find it hard to talk to an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend is that you once had feelings for that person. And after the breakup sometimes I feel there may be some unresolved feelings or just any feelings left. Thus, it becomes hard to talk with them with ease. You just broke up you would still have some feelings. It also happens that you used to spend so much time together that it becomes your habit to be with that person. So, it hard to get out of the habit. Anyways with time, it will get better as you will get comfortable. It is just that you are in unfamiliar situation with person than before. Just give it some time. It will get easier with time.

Sometimes as time passes, we tend to romanticize or look upon our ex with rose coloured glasses (remembering the good times). Talking to them gives us nostalgia and transports us to the time we were together (back to our past self). Sometimes they've caused us significant pain, but we cannot forget them. Hatred, bitterness and anger aren't the opposite of love. Indifference is. We don't like to admit to ourselves that they're presence, online or in person, affect us still. Because, like it or not, a part of our heart left with them. Sometimes, we hate to admit to ourselves that we've struggled to get it back ever since.

I think, it is hard because there were so many shared dreams, expectations and goals that couldn't be fulfilled. There was a sense of 'ownership' and 'entitlement' that is no longer there. You have to let the person be as they are. That is probably one of the toughest things to do, whether in or outside of a relationship. Outside of a relationship, we just train our minds to have fewer expectations. In a romantic relationship, we expect the partner to somehow fulfill our emotional, companionship, physical, intellectual, humour and compatibility needs. And, every relationship, usually begins with the promise of that. So, in my personal opinion, the sadness of the hope being crushed always remains. 'What could have been' always remains. Rosy retrospection always makes people forget why it was necessary to leave. Also, bonds formed and not allowed to decline naturally leave scars..and unfinished wounds. Hence. If both people are spiritually evolved and have forgiven each other and also don't feel guilty, a friendship is possible. But I think these unresolved emotions make it very difficult

It is a very emotionally charged situation. When you create a bond with someone, the bond never really goes away. It is likely they will always hold a place in your heart causing conversations to bring up varying difficult emotions. It is not necessarily a bad thing to have a hard time talking to an ex-partner. It is just a normal thing in life. I know I have struggled with even seeing my ex-partners. When you love hard, it hits harder when they are no longer that close with you. I don’t think it should be easy to talk with a past serious partner.

The reason is because you still have feelings deep down and knowing you dont have them anymore is hard.

it is hard because of the moments you shared with them. however if you let go and think of them as someone who knows about you and was a great friend it might help. look at them as a person you know and not as your ex. but before talking to them make sure you have moved on and made yourself a better and independent person. if in the end you are still feeling hard to talk to them , maybe you should take your time and not try very hard to make a conversation . your comfort is most important when you talk to someone

That is Because you have recently been in a relationship that is more than friends and it’s difficult to see them as not your partner even if you are quite close it’s still weird for you. You can become friends with your ex but It will never be the same as before you were together.

There could be a list of reasons why talking to an ex can be so difficult. To name a few, it could be because there is unfinished business between the two people. Naturally, this can lead to a range of positive and negative emotions. Another reason could be because of the damaged that may have been caused through out the relationship. The possibility of one or both people have new partners, and that most of the time makes it incredibly difficult to be able to talk your ex. Additionally, the break up itself may have been really bad. These are just to name a few. Every relationship is different so ultimately the reasons why it is difficult to talk to an ex will change from one person to the next.

After breakup your mind clearly accept the fact that you both can't be together for lifetime but your heart still beats for them. You still get butterfly whenever you hear from them. It's really hard to forget about someone after remembering and talking to them daily. So I think it's all because your mind wants to forget that person but talking to them daily won't let it happen so it's hard to talk to an ex bf or ex gf. So it's better to stop talking to them otherwise you will end up hurting yourself. Try to move on and be happy.