How do I tell my boyfriend that I don't want to be with him? (anymore)
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Last Updated: 02/08/2022 at 10:06am
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Top Rated Answers
Try to be empathetic to him and not say anything harsh or mean. Say that you have slowly lost interest as you developed or that things are just not working out and you don’t feel the same way anymore(or why you wan to break up). Think why you don’t want to be with him anymore and tell him the reason in a nice way so that you don’t hurt him. It’s always nice to know what the reason to the breakup is. If the reason isn’t exactly him, tell him, of course if the reason is because of what he does or doesn’t do try to make him understand how you feel.
The best way to do this is to be straightforward, tell him your relationship isn't working out well. Hiding and waiting can be more painful for both sides. so the best thing to do is to tell him in a appropriate respected way. For example you can use words like "sorry, I don't want to hurt you, but it isn't working out well." Breakups are always hard but we can get through them. So don't be afraid to tell your honest opinion to someone. If you need more help please don't hesitate to text me or any of the listeners in 7 cups
Anonymous
July 24th, 2019 2:24pm
Be honest and tell him why you started feeling this way. Explain to him where you're coming from. There is no easy way to end things with someone you have been with, but if you are not happy anymore then it is only fair that he knows why. Expect that his feelings might get hurt, but understand that staying with someone when you can not give them a hundred percent of you is more hurtful. Give him space and time after you talk. He will definitely need time to move on, and so are you. I hope things will go well.
I am going to go out on a limb here and just say that honesty is always the best policy. I think that goes for your situation as well. It will inevitably hurt both of you but in the long run, I think that being straightforward is the best way to handle any situation. As long as what you are saying is true and not intentionally hurtful you have the truth on your side. If you stay with someone one day longer than you want to be with them you are keeping them away one day from the person that they are truly meant to be with.
Hello!
I would be honest, yet be kind. Find the reason you don't want to be with him and explain it nicely.
Example-He is too clingy. Say something like, i feel like we are better friends than boyfriend and girlfriend.
For you to get to the point in a relationship where you feel you no longer want to be in that relationship will be difficult for both parties involved. So the best way to deal with a situation like this in my opinion and taking the situation surrounding the imminent break up into serious consideration is to be completely honest with your partner and do so with compassion but you also have to take into account that his reaction could also be unexpected so you have to plan for all that. One thing you've got to remember is love is no charity and nobody should feel obligated to be or remain in a relationship they don't want to be in.
Approach the conversation with calmness and a positive mind set. explain to him that you do not think that your relationship with your partner is not working out the way you wanted it to starting your partnership. he may be frustrated or upset, but empathize with how he is feeling in this moment, and always remember to stay calm. if your partner continues to show violent or angry signs with intent to hurt you or themselves, do not try to diffuse the situation, instead get out as soon as possible and call the police if you feel that it is necessary.
Don't tell him.. Talk to him.
Find a place to sit and talk, start by telling him how was your experience of this relationship, ask his experience. Tell him what you are thinking and why. Because everyone deserves a reason. Slowly and steadily, work upon coming to a mutual decision, so that it doesn't impact anyone's life in a harsh way.
If he doesn't agrees to breakup, ask him why, and then make him understand your point of view. I hope this answer will help you to get out of a relationship which you doesn't want anymore.
Wish you luck dear.
Tell him that you no longer feel the same, that you need some time for yourself and not for the rest. Speak it with security, because if it sees you insecure you will think that somehow it will be able to convince you so that you do not finish with it. Give him good reasons, with valid arguments. Be totally honest and honest, that will be the best. If your reaction ends up being bad do not worry, you should stay calm and leave if necessary, in any case you have already made it clear. All gonna be okay!
Be honest about your feelings and respectful in the way you express them. Try to talk about your feelings in the first-person "I" instead of sharing them with "You make me feel..." Try to think about what is the best way you would want someone to tell it to you, if you were in his shoes. Be patient with yourself, and be generous in your expectations of how he may react in his feelings or words. Remember that life does not always have to be perfect in every moment, and that we are all trying to make it work in our own ways.
Anonymous
June 16th, 2019 1:57pm
The very simple and subtle answer is create some private space, discuss with him what's not going good in your relationship, why you don't want to be with him and go your separate ways without any hard feelings. However you may separate none should have guilt-feel after the separation.
And yes while you separate with each other you shouldn't point all the mistakes they've made. It is the end of a certain type of relationship, you two may have to cross paths on further course of your life, leave as good friends. Don't spread bad rumors about anyone, and if you're wanting to not be with him due to some rumors(as such things are common these days) talk to him and go thoroughly with that!!
Good day and all the best!
Anonymous
May 25th, 2019 11:40am
First of all, be sure that you really want this, as this kind of decisions are important for both of you! Try to find the cause of why you came to this point.
Then listen to him and try to understand his point of view too. Explain your decision and be kind with your feelings. Give arguments and things that will help him understand.
Avoid blaming him, take this as a whole experience, as a journey or a life chapter that has to come to an end.
In the end assume your decision and learn to live with it.
Be honest with him, tell him why you don’t want to be with him. Don’t leave any unanswered questions, get it all off your chest. You should be truthful to the one you had dated before, therefore you should respect him and let him know the reasons why you don’t want him anymore. Your boyfriend is someone you dated and had considered to be a significant other. Respecting him and you is important. Don’t leave any unanswered questions, and just be truthful to him overall, because if you don’t, things will be left dry and at least maintain a good image.
There are a few ways you could tell him. If you would prefer to avoid confrontation, you could email, text or ring him. You could confront him if you feel comfortable with it. With relationships, it can be hard when someone you like breaks up with you, no matter how old you are. So he may feel sad or upset but just know that it's far better you to tell him now. If you continued to date him as you didn't want to hurt his feelings but you no longer liked him, it wouldn't help. You'd be unhappy and he'd be in love with someone who doesn't love him back. So like I said, best way to break up with someone if you want to avoid confrontation is text, phone, or email. :)
Whilst it absolutely sucks! You need to respect yourself and do it in person! Meet up with him, be honest and tell him you want to be happy!! That will help it be on good terms. Tell him that you have enjoyed what you have had and what it included but explain what has gone wrong and what you would like. If he really loves you, he will respect you. From then, don't talk for a while and maybe you guys can be friends again so that you can end on good terms!!!! Good luck and hope it goes well!
I want it to be clear that there is no perfect way of breaking up ... it will always be emotional ,heartbreaking and messing for both partners .However there are ways to lessen the pain experimented and make it a less traumatic event .Firstly being 100% sure of your decision of leaving ...the breakup may shake you up emotionally and you may regret doing so and try to come back which will make it more painful for both of you .Secondly Finding the right words,you know your partner well and you know how his reaction may be .Find the "right" words may make it easier to digest . Thirdly finding the right place and time .I usually recommend a rather neutral and public area at a time of the day /on a day he/she will be calm ,open to discussion and relaxed .My last suggestion is to be honest and frank .Not losing time and being honest about how you feel about the relationship and what you want to do now ..is important .Staying true to yourself and trying to be the nicest possible is the best sign of respect and affection one can give during a breakup instead of delivering all made up sentences caught in movies or songs.i hope this will be useful
If you're able to, pick a time that's good for you both and just sit and talk. He's going to have some questions and strong emotions, it's important you remain calm and answer these. Make sure you're happy and tell the truth and if he's a good guy, he'll understand! Is there a strong reason why you dont want to be with him? If he does something that makes you feel unsafe or unhappy, make sure you contact the appropriate person, and speak to someone you're comfortable with such as a friend, teacher or parent. Let me know if I can help anymore!
Anonymous
February 16th, 2019 6:22am
I suggest being completely honest. Explain to him how you are feeling and the reasons behind such feelings (if you are comfortable with sharing them with him). Coming from someone who has stayed in a relationship much longer then I should have, I know that you have to do what you think is best for yourself. Although it may be difficult to tell him, it is the best thing to do and you must remember to take care of yourself before anyone else. You have my full support and the support of so many others here, and we will be here to help!
I would recommend that you approach him about the topic in a kind, frank, and honest manner with him. It is normal for relationships to break apart. Sometimes there is a fault in one or both partners, other times there is really not a fault in anybody -- things just don't work out. Regardless, make sure to approach him about it kindly and frankly. Be direct and to the point with him without coming off as harsh or overly court. It is a balancing act, but the important thing is that you communicate your feelings to him honestly.
Anonymous
August 13th, 2016 9:31am
Nothing trumps honesty. Breakups are always hard, there's no denying, but they can also be an opportunity for growth for both people in the long term as long as they are handled on honest terms. This means providing the honest answers your boyfriend will need to give him the closure required to move on. Equally that means being honest with yourself too so that your next relationship might be more successful.
Sometimes it is best to do this face to face as you can explain to him why you feel this way.
Anonymous
August 5th, 2016 8:51pm
You approach him calmly and discuss the reasons why your relationship isn't making you happy anymore
Just sit him down (in private, no texting or email or face time) face to face and say that you have lost feelings for him and you don't think it would be fair to him if you stay in a relationship you are not into.
Be completely honest about how you feel. He will thank you in the long run instead of being dragged a long with false hope.
Anonymous
August 10th, 2016 5:39pm
Communication is key.
Just tell him straight up. at the end of the way you deserve to be happy. With or without him
just be direct and sincere , it might hurt him but at least you would be honest and you should show him that that means you were honest from begining till the end
Be completely honest with him and keep your reasons personal. Leave absolutely no doubt that you are breaking up with him. The worst thing to do is give him false hope. Your words are powerful and you need to be clear and concise. Don't speak to fast either. Allow him to absorb what you're saying and ask him if he understands. Try to stay calm during the process. He will likely be very upset.
Honestly, the best way to deal with this situation is to just approach him with honesty and respect. Make sure that you have spent some time thinking about why you don't want to be with him anymore. Being honest with him saves unneeded extra heartbreak for the future. Remember that taking care of yourself and distancing yourself from toxic people and emotions is the first and bravest step to healing.
You have to be honest with him. Tell him you just don't feel the same way about him that he does about you, and that relationship is over.
I would arrange a time for you and him to sit down and talk about the reason you do not want to be with him anymore and tell him the way you feel and try to tell him nicely but clearly.
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