How do I tell my boyfriend that I don't want to be with him? (anymore)
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Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
June 17th, 2020 2:32pm
Talk to him about how you're feeling, and why. Communication is key. A breakup is very difficult, but I believe that through healthy communication, you will be able to overcome this hurdle. Of course it's going to be challenging, and it might hurt, but that's what Listeners are here for! We have your back, and we support you! Remember to try your hardest to refrain from any negative words. Don't react on impulse. Talk to them with kindness, and words from your own heart. Taking this first step is the hardest. But I know you are strong and you can do this!
Anonymous
June 13th, 2020 8:39pm
Truth has always been a little difficult for people to accept. But the reality is that life is so unpredictably short that there is no point just staying with a partner if you dont enjoy it. Hence arises the need to inform your partner of the nasty n hurtful truth that breakup is the only way. As we live in a technologically advanced age, there are several choices to inform your partner of breakup. Although there isnt a nice way about it, text messaging is often used to tell the partner that you dont want to hang out with him any more. Messaging decouples both parties and allows both to catch a breath or two. There is also face to face meeting, video conferencing for remote dates, telephone calls or emails.
The best way to approach it is to be honest. Whilst it will probably be very difficult and emotional, it's the most respectful and mature way to go about it. Try to do it in person, if possible, as text messages can easily be misunderstood in terms of tone (and are also just unpleasant). Answer all the questions that they have (it's likely they will have a few) but also make sure you say everything you've been wanting to say. Try to explain it as clearly as you can, as it is already a tough situation to deal with, without being left confused.
Anonymous
April 24th, 2020 2:55pm
You kind of have to be honest with him about this, because the longer you wait the worse it is going to get. The big key here isn't so much picking the right words, it is picking the method you communicate this. If you can, doing this in-person is usually the best route as your tone and words can be best heard and understood here. But if you're long distance or in a toxic/abusive relationship, you may have to resort to calling, texting, or emailing. Again, be honest with him in that you don't want to be with him but don't resort to rudeness or harshness. It isn't a requirement to explain too deeply your reasons for this, but do not feel you have to explain it more than once. After you do this, I recommend a distracting activity like baking, a movie, or a hangout session with a friend.
Anonymous
April 23rd, 2020 4:43am
Sit down with them when you're both calm and let him know how you feel and that you want to end things. Let him express any feelings he may have as well! It's best to tell him at a time where both of you are available and ready to listen to each other. Make sure not to put him down in any way. It helps to think about what you want to say first. Remember to stay calm and that you'll find the right person for you. I wish you the best of luck with everything!
I guess when you are in a relationship that you want to leave you start to appreciate the feeling when you are single.
I guess when you ask someone for something that could give them the power to act and stop you from doing something that you really want.
I guess just not saying anything and slowly separating yourself otherwise, talking to them in a good place in person face to face about your feelings.
You could say things that you didn't like and pair it with good things so it doesn't hurt your boyfriends feelings. Good luck with it!
Anonymous
April 8th, 2020 2:07pm
Speaking up for one's self is very important in every relationship. Hiding a fact or feeling or thought may definitely be harmful. So it is definitely better to convey how you feel and what your thoughts are. But yes, the way we address it matters the most. That is when you have to be more assertive in expressing yourself. Your body language, your tone, your words and how you convey is definitely the key. Not being too conscious about it, let it flow naturally, but express it in a way that the other person understands how you feel truly.
Anonymous
November 22nd, 2019 7:14pm
Its going to be hard but you just have to talk to him one on one and tell him how you truly feel. If he truly cares about you he'd understand that you no longer want to be with him. Be honest tell him how you've been feeling lately and why the relationship wouldn't work out anymore. If he starts to guilt trip you, do not take him back. There's a reason you no longer as to be with him. It can even be done over the phone. Tell him the reason and then and then in your own words tell him its over.
Anonymous
September 27th, 2019 3:49am
Tell him that, while you loved him once, you aren’t feeling that way anymore. Sometimes the best thing you can do is allow them to see that while you loved them, it’s no longer in a romantic way. If you still want to be friends with him, say you like him in a platonic way. The longer you stay with him when you don’t want to, the harder the breakup will be for both of you. The faster you break up with him, the faster you can both begin to look for happy relationships again. Break up with him by simply telling him you’re no longer feeling it with him.
Anonymous
July 17th, 2019 1:15pm
Kindness is key. You have to make yourself clear about whatever you say. Don't be rude. Explain to him why that thought came to your mind. Apologizing is important. Make an understanding environment and help him through it. Everybody deserves an explanations. Leaving him without a reason shouldn't be something you should consider. There must be a reason obviously for you to feel like you don't need your boyfriend anymore. Sometimes it does happen. But how you take situations from there is what matters. It's important to make sure he's okay with it. Be calm and nice. In the end, it's not my decision and not my answer to give. This is just what I feel, it's your life. So choose what suits you best.
I think the kindest thing you can do to allow him and yourself closure, is to be honest about how you are feeling
First off, I know this is difficult, but necessary. Begin by being open and honest about why. Avoid cliches like "it's not you, its me" as they can just rub salt in the wound. Don't beat around the bush, just tell him the truth. Accept that it will hurt, for both of you, but hold your ground. If you feel this way, there's a reason and you can't let yourself fall back into a toxic relationship just because it's hard. Good luck, and I'm sorry you have to go through this.
There is no easy way to break this news to anyone. You are just going to have to tell him. Telling him upfront is better than leading him on or just distancing yourself.
I understand you’re struggling with telling your boyfriend you’d like to leave him. I think you should maybe have a sit down face to face conversation and just tell each other how you feel.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2018 11:04am
Its better to just come out and say it rather than wait and lead him on. Say it in the nicest way possible but dont confuse them.
Well you simply tell him what is going on, you don’t want too strong him along. You have a personal one on one conversation in person and you explain too him why you don’t think the relationship is working anymore
It's best to be honest even if it would hurt him. There's nothing more painful than breaking up with someone by telling a lie
First of all try to avoid doing it over the phone, but i would suggest to just cut to the point and say gently what is bothering you
Be honest and upfront. He will aprreciate that more than lying, cheating or being deceiving. Just let him know the truth, it will hurt him either way but being upfront and honest hurts less than being lied and cheated on. Tell him when you felt this way, if there is a reason as to way, or if it’s just that your feelings faded. Try to end on good terms. Takes a while but you can do it
Writing it gently in a letter may soften the blow. You can be firm, gentle and honest at the same time. Good luck!
Anonymous
April 25th, 2018 5:44pm
i would just tell him but be calm about it say it soft and not mean dont keep leading him on that will just hurt him more
Anonymous
April 22nd, 2018 5:18am
Be brutally honest and open about it without being insensitive.
There is no plan or guide that will outline how to soften some sort of blow.
Take him to something that he likes to do. Explain to him that you've had fun, but that you don't believe this relationship is heading where you want it to. You explain that it's been over in your mind for a while. If he tries to keep you around, explain to him that he deserves someone who actually loves him.
Anonymous
March 2nd, 2018 11:46am
Just tell him. Think about it, find a good place and try to understand him. Think what is he feeling and understand him.
Anonymous
March 1st, 2018 6:04pm
I would sit down with your boyfriend and have an open discussion about your worries and how your feelings have changed towards wanting a relationship. Be honest, kind and remain open and honest.
Asking how he feels in the relationship,does he see it going ant further is he happy,explain your feelings
Be honest about your feelings and respectful in the way you express them. Try to talk about your feelings in the first-person "I" instead of sharing them with "You make me feel..." Try to think about what is the best way you would want someone to tell it to you, if you were in his shoes. Be patient with yourself, and be generous in your expectations of how he may react in his feelings or words. Remember that life does not always have to be perfect in every moment, and that we are all trying to make it work in our own ways.
Be honest with him, tell him why you don’t want to be with him. Don’t leave any unanswered questions, get it all off your chest. You should be truthful to the one you had dated before, therefore you should respect him and let him know the reasons why you don’t want him anymore. Your boyfriend is someone you dated and had considered to be a significant other. Respecting him and you is important. Don’t leave any unanswered questions, and just be truthful to him overall, because if you don’t, things will be left dry and at least maintain a good image.
Anonymous
May 25th, 2019 11:40am
First of all, be sure that you really want this, as this kind of decisions are important for both of you! Try to find the cause of why you came to this point.
Then listen to him and try to understand his point of view too. Explain your decision and be kind with your feelings. Give arguments and things that will help him understand.
Avoid blaming him, take this as a whole experience, as a journey or a life chapter that has to come to an end.
In the end assume your decision and learn to live with it.
Anonymous
June 16th, 2019 1:57pm
The very simple and subtle answer is create some private space, discuss with him what's not going good in your relationship, why you don't want to be with him and go your separate ways without any hard feelings. However you may separate none should have guilt-feel after the separation.
And yes while you separate with each other you shouldn't point all the mistakes they've made. It is the end of a certain type of relationship, you two may have to cross paths on further course of your life, leave as good friends. Don't spread bad rumors about anyone, and if you're wanting to not be with him due to some rumors(as such things are common these days) talk to him and go thoroughly with that!!
Good day and all the best!
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