Strengthen Your Relationship

In any kind of relationship, we can make the assumption that others know what we think and that we don't have to say what we want. We believe that they will do what we want because they know us well. If they're not doing what we suppose they should be doing, we feel hurt and think, "How could they do this to us?" And again, we assume that another person knows what we want.

Acronym LOVE can help you remember how to communicate with your partner in a sensitive and loving way. When we communicate with each other, we need to: Listen with an Open Heart and mind, Validate and acknowledge each other and Express our thoughts and feelings softly and clearly.

To argue more effectively, try to get beyond the idea of "winning" or "losing" an argument. Start seeing your conversational partner as just that, a partner. You are partners in a search for solutions together, not in opposition.

People are often acutely aware of the external pressures that have shaped their behavior, but they overlook how the same circumstances affect others. Attributional bias is a tendency to explain another person's behavior by referring to their character rather than any situational factor (while using reverse to explain our behavior).

Confirmation bias is seeking information that will prove you right more often than you look for examples that would prove you wrong (Snyder, 1981).

Self-serving bias is taking credit for successes while avoiding the blame for failures.

When done in the right way, helping our significant other to process their emotions is the best way to develop a deep bond.

Solution-focused therapy is a type of treatment that highlights a client's ability to solve problems, rather than focusing on why or how the problem was created and who is to blame. If spouses have been able to overcome certain challenges in the past, they are usually able to do so in the present. It might be necessary to update and change some solutions from the past, but the underlying principles will likely still hold true.

Usually, people can articulate very well what they do not like but not so well when it comes to what they actually want. In this exercise, you will learn to articulate what you want in more concrete terms.

Well-working relationships typically involve conversations about feelings, hopes, dreams, and disappointments. Sharing something personal signals that we trust our partner to open up and be vulnerable.