Understand the Role of Biases in Your Relationship: Self-serving Bias

How does it affect your relationship? People like to take responsibility for good things that happen to them, but they prefer external excuses when things go wrong. As a result, although they may not tell their partners, they often believe that they deserve a lot of credit if their partnership is doing well, but they're not much to blame if a partnership is doing poorly (Thompson & Kelley, 1981). Each partner tends to believe their spouse is mostly to blame whenever they fight (Schütz, 1999). 

Unlike other biases, self-serving bias is closely connected to self-esteem. Using this bias to elevate our sense of self-worth can hinder our ability to improve ourselves, as we are less likely to learn from our mistakes and accept negative feedback. Since admitting a mistake or being responsible for a negative result is paramount to growth, it's important to challenge the self-serving bias and make improvements at taking criticism. 

Do you remember a situation where you took credit for victories and pointed fingers when things went wrong? How can we lessen the impact of this bias on our lives?