I don't feel understood

Hey random! 

It's understandable how this would make you feel unheard. It's often at times that just what a listeners capacity is as that what they are, just listeners. Have you considered talking to a professional?

Hope you find what you're looking for!

Feel free to reach out if you want! 

Not feeling understood can feel frustrating! Speaking from personal experience, some things that people say to be encouraging can feel very dismissive. Take alcoholism though. I don't expect a "non-alcoholic" to understand me but support and interaction helps in those circumstances...for me. Respect is key. Active listening is key for me. I don't necessarily need someone to "understand" or agree so much as engage and ask questions. Let me know I matter. My sister is really good at this. She'll listen and ask thought provoking questions. The solution isn't always right in front of us.

I have a "things to do to feel better list.". I will discuss that and my immediate encouragement isn't necessarily just...aw it's ok. It may be, well why don't you go outside? The encouragement is to go outside and doesn't feel dismissive to me. Then we continue the talk outside. I hope at least some of that made sense.

@RandomHuman001 hey wanna talk 👋

@RandomHuman001
Hello Human,

First off, I want to acknowledge your courage in sharing this. Speaking publicly about how you feel, especially when it’s difficult, is only a few can do (count me out!). I won’t pretend to fully understand what you’re going through, but I want you to know that your feelings are valid, and I’m here to share a perspective.

You mentioned not feeling understood, and I think that’s such a deeply human desire. To be seen and heard for who we truly are. By posting this, you’ve taken a brave step toward connecting with others. Whether you realize it or not, there’s hope in that action - a quiet hope that someone out there might relate to you or want to listen to you.

Life doesn’t give us easy answers, and I understand that empty reassurances can make you feel dismissive when they don’t align with your reality. What I’ve learned from my own struggles is that while others can’t always fix things for us (and sometimes they don’t even know how to help), our own small steps, taken consistently, can eventually lead to shifts, even in the darkest moments.

It’s okay to take your time and focus on yourself. Healing isn’t linear, and it’s not a race. But don’t let the voice that says, “I can’t do this” drown out the quieter voice whispering, “I’m trying.” You are trying - by being here.

On the tough days, try to remind yourself that nothing in life is permanent: not the good times, but not the bad ones either. It’s not about pretending the pain doesn’t exist; it’s about giving yourself a chance to see what might lie beyond it. Sometimes that means having hard conversations with yourself or others, making decisions that scare you, or taking steps that feel impossibly small.

You’ve shown courage by posting this, and that’s one of the many starts. I may not have the answers for you, but I believe in your ability to keep pushing forward. One step at a time. You deserve a future where you feel lighter, and I "hope" you keep working toward it - for your future self (isn't that a convincing excuse?). Let expectations and hope come into play when you devote yourself to something. Regret can be a much worse feeling!

You’re not as alone as you may feel.

Stay resilient,
A fellow wanderer!

@RandomHuman001

You're always welcomed to message me about how you feel and in-between the black and white, I'll be in that Grey once you learn to mature the anxiety within you. Don't give up even if it feels tough and I used to be like you and a bit judgemental in my approach to everything, generally. I've recently gotten into the habit of owning a pet bird and taking him out to trails, I used to be afraid off and making the miniatures in his cage. Hopefully some calmness and activity can come your way and change the black and whiteness of life itself.

Hello Random Human

I feel what you are describing in my soul. I was there not too long ago. I was at the point of not giving a F*** about whether I lived or died. Nothing to look forward and no hope... only pain. I was, and still am in therapy because of decades of abuse. At some point I got sick of living feeling that way. No one could push me into it or talk me into it or give me any advice, but on my own I was looking for a glimmer of hope. Started trying new things that the old me would have scoffed at or thought was a sin. It wasn't instant, but I am a whole new human after a year or two. I am still on my "journey of healing" as I call it, but I have changed my thought patterns and negative habits over time. The old me would be impressed yet scared of me now, lol.  I am here for you, feel free to reach out to me for a chat. You don't have to go it alone.

Feel safe to reach us.

Hey @RandomHuman001 

I've tried to explain that I'm in pain, I can't walk around with a smile on my face, happy and hopeful like the sun is shining and *** like imma look at that sun and all I see is a ball of diseases that's gonna explode and kill everyone. And right now, I wouldn't mind- no I would like it- if it did, so then I don't have to be here, feeling terrible all the time ,constantly hurting because people are too busy sitting on their asses to find a way to get me out of this.

it's like I'm standing on quicksand and I'm too busy acting like everything is fine & I'm not in trouble, because I'm scared that people are going to look down on me when they find out I'm not 'normal', too busy to get myself some help to get tf out- and now I'm too far in, so when I try to explain what's happening, its like my voice is muffled and nobody can understand what I'm saying so they offer me sympathy and say ill be fine like that's gonna magic up a cure for the darkness, genuine pitch black that never starts or ends, its just there and you're stuck in it. I ask how to deal with being like this, I'm told I should talk to someone and get help, their help is false hope, and so we start again

I think hope is an enemy. dramatic, sure, but truly it doesn't help unless there's facts behind it, then its a chance, a possibility, not hope. Hope is a made up thing so I gave it up years ago.

basically, not feeling heard happens a lot to me, you, to almost everyone that's ever suffered through anything because if the person doesn't go through it, they cannot imagine it so they cannot understand. I've gone through it, am going through it and darling I can tell you do not trust that it will be better. Work for it, try to get better, imagine what it would be like if you get better, then do your best, even if your best is just being alive. for me the best i can do is just breathe, considering the unhealthy as heck addictions and coping methods I've got, it's surprising I'm still ere, but I am and that's all I can do.

Point is, don't rely on people who cannot understand. I don't know if you've found nay, but there's 2 (only 2) users who also are going through stuff which kinda get me. the listeners really weren't as useful, but I get that they're trying. Trust, get help, from those who actually know what you mean, because they will give good advice.

I don't mean to sound pessimistic by the way so I'm really sorry if that's how I sound, also I don't mean to tell you what to do or anything I'm just saying like my experience taught me that though I don't know how that helps you (sorry again)

@RandomHuman001 I totally understand what you mean. Listeners here are just random people behind a screen so they don't know exactly what to say. I suggest looking for someone with similar experiences and good reviews. People understand what is familiar to them.

It's admirable that you reached out here and said what needed to be said not fearing judgement, in my single opinion, it shows that there is hope for you, as you're not as closed as a lot of others.

It's normal for people not to be compatible with everyone.

Some will get what you feel, some won't.

Some agrees with you, some don't.

It's the cycle of life, finding the suitable ones for you through everyone.

Although, the amount of listeners here who take this seriously are quite numbered on hands.

You see some adding every single experienced issue on their profile, and when you talk with them they don't seem to emotionally relate to any of them, at all.

I got accepted chats, and ended up being ghosted the moment I texted what I feel.

Currantly, a streak of 3 in a row, of the last listeners I reached out to.

And the first listeners I managed to connect with like a month ago, one is absent, and the other totally forgot I existed, and seemingly dry whenever I tried texting them.

One also blocked me for no reason.

I'm not complaining to you or anything, but I'm just saying that it's not your fault that the listeners you talked with don't understand you.

Nothing is your fault my friend.

I won't yap about the idea of hope, selflove, or anything of the sort.

One thing I can say, is that you're not alone.

Okay?

You're not alone, even if it feels like it.

It's better to live our lives failing over and over again, than to give up, okay?

Sending hugs to you friend, good luck💙