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Megalodon123
18 329 M Embraced 3
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts54 Forum posts16 Forum upvotes35 Current upvotes35 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceDecember 5, 2024
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I'm a fragile person, I don't know what to do.
Newbie Hub / by Megalodon123
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more When I was with my girlfriend, I knew that I might face the problem of a long-distance relationship. We hadn't not considered this, and at the time I thought that I could move to her city and she could move to mine. However, we had underestimated the difficulty of this. I realised how difficult it was when we returned to our country after studying abroad. Her parents had spent a long time working hard to establish themselves in the capital and had a better material foundation than me. She also had the idea of continuing to apply for a doctorate during her studies abroad, so she was always looking for opportunities on both sides, and I also understood that her parents did not want her to leave the capital. At the same time, I was also looking for job opportunities on both sides. However, it was very difficult. I sent out at least 200 resumes, and even got them professionally revised, but I received very few interviews, let alone confirmed job offers. I also had to consider the high cost of living in the capital and my own future development, so I couldn't just try any job. Some jobs might make her parents look down on me. But my major is really on the decline. There are too many people in the same major on social media who have started changing careers, and those who stay don't get paid much either. She has also tried to send in her CV and contact many teachers by email to apply for a doctorate, but all this has made her very tired and exhausted, and the results have been minimal. After being cheated twice in a row by an intermediary, she also feels anxious and self-blame. At the same time, she is also unsure of which school will eventually accept her. I first found an internship at a planning institute. A friend of mine helped me find this internship. The salary is not high, but it allows me to at least do something and gain some experience, even if it is unlikely that I will be hired permanently. The thing that made me suffer happened two weeks ago. My aunt used her connections to help me find someone inside the government (a relative of hers), who arranged for me to first intern at a planning institute near my home, and if I did well, he would arrange for me to intern inside the government. Although the official civil service requires passing an exam, my family members all think this is a good choice. Such opportunities are rare and stable, and it seems like a good way to develop personally. But when my girlfriend learned about this, she was devastated. She thought I probably hadn't even considered going to the capital. The over-stability of a civil servant means that I would have to stay in the local area for at least five years, and the promotion path of a civil servant is not clear. It means that she and I will face a long period of being apart, and this may challenge the future of our relationship. I don't want to do this, I don't want to enter the civil service system, but the enthusiastic expectations of my family and the efforts of my aunt made it almost impossible for me to resist such an arrangement. I hope that the design institute will keep me, so that at least some flexibility is retained and experience can be gained. My family and friends all advise me to focus on my career – but they don't consider my relationship with my girlfriend. So if I just follow their plan, my relationship with her is likely to break up, and I want to have a future with her. I want to stay at the design institute and then develop opportunities such as passing the certification exam at the same time, and find a way to be close to her. I don't want to be bound by my family's ideas. But now, the daily internship at the design institute makes me feel like life has no end, and some words related to civil servants also make me very stressed. But in the face of such opportunities, I still have to be prepared for arrangements such as having dinner with my aunt's relative afterwards. I don't know how to communicate with my family members, who all think that I am only thinking about going to the capital and that they think I am crazy.
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