Hey, I'm a Certified Counselor, ask me anything you'd like to
I had already posted this message in other places on this thread. But since I'm seeing new messages and questions coming in- I'm posting the same message below again.
Dear all, its been a wonderful experience interacting with a lot of people across the world in our 7cups community through this thread which has now been running over two years. I regret to inform that I won't be able to respond to the posts here, going forward. I'm unable to dedicate adequate time to be able to do this and hence I request everyone's understanding. Warmth and strength to one and all !!
For all those who are seeking support- 7cups have multiple group support forums and one to one listening services.Also there are self help articles and resources available free on the website. Please do check them out if you'd like to. Big hugs to all!
Hi, thanks for this.
I had a breakup a year ago. It was a 7 years relationship. I really really love her and I just don't want to erase this person from my life. I want move on, be strong, successful, but I decided not to be with another woman in my life (if it's not her). Sometimes I'm afraid when looking to the future and thinking on how will I struggle with loneliness. How will I give happiness to myself, and not suffer for her abscence (but not replacing her with another person)
@loyalNickel6413 This is a major life decision and though you have made it, you seem to struggle finding clarity and convinction in that. Probably there are self doubts and insecurities you still need to address, and may be even work on healing from the separation if you have not dealt with it completely. You know there are many resources where there is handholding available if you are finding it hard to deal with alone!
Hi! I feel like I'm stuck in one place. I had a terrible bad trip back in March and I thought I was in H-e- double hockey sticks. I actually thought I had died and was sent there. The police found me outside on The street and everything. About a week after that, I started gettinf severe anxiety and paranoia. Feeling like I actually did die and that I am in that terrible place. Im on anti anxiety meds and I keep feeling like I might die and I have horrible intrusive thoughts. I don't have money for therapy nor do I have insurance. I'm absolutely desperate for help, please if there's anything you can do or tell me to help me a bit. I've never dealt with anxiety before. And the anxiety and paranoia revolves around religion mostly. Please, if there's any help you can offer I would love it.
@CoolBeans29 I can imagine the intensity of the issues you are going through. And I hear you, that you do not currently have resources for therapy or treatement. Your issues do require individual attention and probably medical support as well. For this, its important you do get an evaluation done from an expert to decide on the treatment. I'd suggest you look up for voluntary organisations near to the area you are put up to find you the help you need. I would know only of organisations where I'm based at - so I wouldn't be able to suggest. On 7cups, there are voluntary listeners who can provide you one to one support and that is completely free. And there's also an anxiety support forum you can check out. But these are no alternatives to taking professional help and considering your distress, you do need it.
@SarahGeorgeDCS im afraid that there is a possibility i may have bpd . i experience the intense mood shifts and numbness and i have a very poor self image and sense of self. i also am/have been suicidal and struggle with self harm. i get overly attached in almost every friendship and relationship ive had to the point where small things they don't even realize they are doing will send me into a spiraling breakdown. however the part where i doubt the fact that i may possibly have bpd is that these issues in relationships seem to be completely unnoticed by the other person. my relationships on MY side are severely effected by my thoughts and cause me either so much pain or so much joy with no inbetween but the other person is completely unaware that this is happening. i internalize all of the despair and anger to the point where the relationship remains "stable" in the sense that the other person thinks we have a great stable friendship ,but unstable on my side because i am constantly in severe emotional pain worrying that the other person is annoyed by me, hating me and will ultimately never want to talk to me again. i have trouble even expressing my opinions around anyone im close to because i am scared they will hate me and leave. this happens with most of my relationships i have. the closer we are, the more pain i will experience.
@amusingSail8830 I understand that all of these challenges you are struggling with is affecting the quality of your life and your relationships in an adverse manner. To rule out your self doubts on bpd and to get the right treatement if in case you do have that, consider getting an evaluation done from a qualified professional near your area. There is a therapists directory in here if you'd like to check that out. Also, it is quite concerning that you are having suicidal thoughts. I must clarify that 7cups is not a crisis helpline. Here's a link of verified resources where you can seek crisis support if in case you are struggling with the same. http://suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html Take good care of yourself!!! Sending you lots of well wishes and hope. Your life is extremely precious and this is a first step you have taken forward to address your underlying issues. Do take it forward.
Dear all, its been a wonderful experience interacting with a lot of people across the world in our 7cups community through this thread which has now been running over two years. I regret to inform that I won't be able to respond to the posts here, going forward. I'm unable to dedicate adequate time to be able to do this and hence I request everyone's understanding. Warmth and strength to one and all !!
@SarahGeorgeDCS
I have been thinking that my existence doesn't matter. If i wasn't exist, nothing particular happen to my family, even better since they have lost something that have been burdening them. If i wasn't exist, nothing particular happen to my social circle, since even without me, their life still could go on. Then, does my existence matter or n
@NeoSpacian Sarah has said, above, that she can no longer respond to posts here.
I think you've written some interesting things about existence. Of course, existence is a big subject, and many books have been written about it. So I think the things you've written here are only a small part of the whole.
For example, you've written about burdening your family. But your family have not written about what it means to them for you to be part of the family. So it seems to me that what you've written is only a small part of the picture.
It's not clear, from what you written, whether your existence matters to you, yourself. This seems strange, because logically you are the most important person in your own existence.
If you'd like to discuss all this further, you are welcome to continue here in the forum, or you can click on my profile picture and message me.
Charlie
I'm seeing a psychiatrist for the first time early next week. It was an unexpected appointment (I had anticipated seeing someone in October) but a public social worker advocated on my behalf because she didn't feel that my doctor was doing enough to support me medically. Do you have any suggestions or possible articles on how I can best prepare for this appointment? I'm currently very afraid that I will either present as 'normal' (this appointment is via video due to Covid - it's a source of anxiety for me and I tend to overcompensate with being 'pleseant' when put into that situation) and not convey the extent of the trouble I'm currently struggling with OR that I will flood the doctor with too much information (I want to talk to him about GAD, depression, dysthymia and undiagnosed ADHD). I feel like so much is riding on this appointment that I'm afraid that somehow I'm going to mess it up and not get the help I know I really need.
@Ampersand82 Sarah has said, above, that she can no longer respond to posts here.
I agree with you. Sometimes people minimize their struggles, and sometimes people provide too much information. Both can make it difficult for a psychiatrist to work out what's going on.
I've seen it suggested more than once that writing a list of the most important things you want to say is a good idea. Then you can just hand the psychiatrist the list, if necessary. It's useful to limit the list to the three or four issues that affect you most.
But I see you've already done that! You wrote: "GAD, depression, dysthymia and undiagnosed ADHD". There's your list of four issues.
Personally, I don't think you can do much more to prepare. Psychiatrists often ask surprising questions that it's impossible to predict.
I hope your appointment has a positive outcome for you. If you'd ever like to chat about things, feel free to click on my profile picture and message me.
Charlie
I am 17 (to my dread, nearing 18, the age I'll have to face being an adult 😱) and I just feel confused. And especially stuck. This has been going on for a long time, but these past days these internal blocks seemed to be on steroids which has brought me to a particular change. Before, I would seek help and some kind of hope or desire to change coming from deep within would push me to accept that help and to try to work towards healing. Recently, however, I keep feeling that I have lost my will to live. That I am giving up on myself. That I simply do not have the desire to help myself anymore. That means I have come to a point where all the help and understanding which I have longed for from others is of no use anymore, because I am incapable of making the first steps. It must have something to do with my perfectionism - I always try to do 1000% out of everything just to get a vague sense of security, so maybe I'm just too exhausted too reach these standards when talking to somebody. I keep thinking I have to explain EVERY SINGLE detail, feeling, thought and event to get my point across. Thus, I don't even attempt to explain anything, as it's never "perfect enough"... If only mind-reading were real! I suspect another issue might be the fact that I've already tried to explain these problems to sooo many people before, so I think I just don't have the nerves to do that for the 1000th time (especially with my perfectionist tendencies, it becomes THAT much more hellish). Thirdly, this victim complex I seem to have gets in the way of EVERYTHING in my life. It's probably my number one enemy and it's such a fragile and subtle problem that I don't know how to go about it. I'm trying to listen to victim-mentality subliminals at present, but frankly I don't know what could ever cure my absolute dread of responsibility, fault, mistakes as well as my glass-fragile ego... Being stuck like this in myself, confused with the fog around and not being able to claim the help I could get from others leaves me so desperate at times that I even start thinking about suicide. I've promised my mother I wouldn't do it, though. I have promised her. I can't do it, no matter how dire the situation. I'm sorry, I had to get this off of my chest. I kind of feel a little better for being able to at least partially explain some of what's been going on. Thank you!
@Xhadaronn I am sorry to inform you that Sara, can no longer manage this thread or respond to your replies.
I will do my best to respond, in there absents.
I am so sorry your struggling at this moment.
Your not alone, in your struggles.
At 7cups we have support rooms, where members help members, and where members come for seeking support.
That might be of some help to you.
Also you can try a listener here at 7cups.
Please note two things: 1 The listeners are not trained in crisis management 2 The listeners here are not therapist, just wanted to point this out.
As long as your not in crisis, your more than welcomed to contact a listener.
Here is the link https://www.7Cups.com/BrowseListeners/
I hope this helps.
I don't know if you will see this, but I need a therpist right now and I don;t want to bother my mom about it, given she is half of the reason.
After the whole issue wiht me being poly ( wanting more than one partner, it took me months to figure it out and I was finally happy ), my Mom telling me that it was not allowed under her roof because it was cheating and lots of other hurtful words, then everything just became dull - she was there for me when I came out as Panromantic and Asexual, but having her say that me wanting more than one partner was worng and I would always be second place hurt like living H**l, now she's always on me for my slipping grades because ( A, my teachers don't fill in the work on time, B, I've been so emotionally drained I don't have the energy to even try, whas even the point? ) of a lot of things .. Now I just keep thinking what is even the point, even if I fail its not gonna matter, I want to not feel so stressed I want to seriously hurt someone or myself, I want to wake up on a school day and think, " Hey, its going to be a good day! " I just want to not cry everytime I hear " School " or " You have to do your homework ". I want to ask for real therapy but I'm scared she will say that I don't need it and I'm overreacting, plus we dont have any money to spare anyway, I'm just clueless on what I should do, please help.
If you read this, thank you, I'm sorry to have bothered you
Hello,
Me and my ex / (trying to work things out) partner are having difficulties. It feels very one sided atm, my partner is up and down, hot and cold. We can be getting along great v. romantic etc form months then out of nowhere when they want distance will bring something up from a year ago, past events where a disareement was had or I was upset (They told me they cheated and was then irritated with me for being upset, insisting they dont want a repeat of those events (upset). I was not the one who cheated but was upset because I care for and love this person. I feel its quite manipulative to gain distance when thigs are going well I am struggling with it. I am doing my best to build communication and trust (it feels like they fear commitment) but it is heavily onesided atm and it always seems to cycle when they bring up the past (they are self confessed highly neurotic and only focus on the negative, we have atleast 20 good things for every negative over the years but they only focus on the negative). They are all over me for months then suddenly ice cold push me away treating melike a stranger...I just want stablility. I am not sure how to approach this talk, every time i do they disappear and i can never get intouch as they are "busy with work" or dont want to talk to me right now any ideas?.
@IntrovertedOldSoul Could someone confirm if this thread is still active please?
@IntrovertedOldSoul It looks like it's not active. The certified counselor posted a comment in this thread on December 8th and before that stating that she no longer has the time to dedicate to this thread and to please seek out other 7 cups resources.
Hello,
I'm on a healing course for psychotic disorder.
I used to daydream since I was 7 years old. I have Maladaptive daydreaming and this habit triggers psychosis for me. It was hard for me to cope with this behavior; because it makes me unable to connect to the outer worlds and be sociable. I used to imagine everything I want to have using my whole body to participate in this dream. Currently, because of my meds doses, I'm more stable and don't seek daydreaming. The problem what I face is the spare time. More to clarify this, I have this side of the self about boosting myself by imagination: like talking to someone I admire or imagining that I'm having nice time with people or even being a superstar ( self recognition).
My question is, how to extract my overall excitation in positive behaviors to myself? Because if I imagine, I become on my way to a psychotic episode. Please tell me a way to fix this.
Thanks!
