Hey, I'm a Certified Counselor, ask me anything you'd like to
I had already posted this message in other places on this thread. But since I'm seeing new messages and questions coming in- I'm posting the same message below again.
Dear all, its been a wonderful experience interacting with a lot of people across the world in our 7cups community through this thread which has now been running over two years. I regret to inform that I won't be able to respond to the posts here, going forward. I'm unable to dedicate adequate time to be able to do this and hence I request everyone's understanding. Warmth and strength to one and all !!
For all those who are seeking support- 7cups have multiple group support forums and one to one listening services.Also there are self help articles and resources available free on the website. Please do check them out if you'd like to. Big hugs to all!
Is it even possible to change at middle age? After decades of traumatic experience and treatment resistant depression is ECT all that's left and going to make me a zombie who cannot maintain my high level job
@HappyDucky8 You seem to have a really challenging life so far, and you've managed to fight through. To answer your question, age is not a constraint for any change. I'd rather say aim for slow transformation than forcing fast changes for sustainability. Even if you have to adapt with the challenges and limitations that's on your plate, there's still hope to figure out ways through and to find some peace and motivation to get going forward -meaninfully. Take good care of yourself!!! Sending lots of warmth and strength to you!
@HappyDucky8 Have you heard about a newer treatment for depression called TMS?
@adventurousBranch3786
yes. Good to mention that one too
Okay so, my best friend died a month ago when she was hit by a car late at night. Ever since then, I feel myself regretting how i barely took any photos with her, or how we got distant over the past year, or how i never told her how much i loved her and how much she meant to me.
I've been crying myself to sleep most nights and have had to hide this from my parents and friends since they don't take me seriously. I've even been thinking about how it would've been better if it was me in front of the car that night instead of my best friend, since surely there would be fewer people who genuinely care.
My question is whether I should be seeking professional help or if this is normal while dealing with grief?
@hardworkingNorth7053
Hey there. I'm not an educated professional but I have a lot of experience in this. Yes what you are experiencing can be a normal stage in grief. And I found that it's absolutely necessary to talk to others. The therapist is definitely recommended it you feel out of control or unsafe. Close friends that shared the friendship with your friend who passed are a great place to start. Grief support groups in local area are great too. Dont forget the resource you are using here. Please talk about the loss to people but don't forget to talk about the positive inpacts. I think remembering the good was the most important thing for me. It reminded me I carry them with me.
@RealityCzech @SarahGeorgeDCS Thank you both so much, I will keep both of your suggestions in mind <3
@hardworkingNorth7053 Not at all easy to deal with the loss of someone who meant so much to you. All of what you're going through is natural, and I hear you , when you say you are not feeling understood by your near and dear. Some people work through grief by themselves, some with the help of another person you who can confide in, some with the help of support groups, some reach out for professional help. Taking help is absolutely necessary and normal, when we feel we need support. Its completely dependant on the indvidual to take that call. If its weighing too hard on you, and considering you currently don't feel comfortable to confide in your immediate support system - I'd suggest to consider seeking professional support if you have the ways and means to do it. Sharing some free resources for you to check out. https://www.7cups.com/grief/ There are also a lot of support groups on 7cups that you may be able to connect to.
Hi, so I have been dealing with sucide thoughts for 4 years now, i stoped cutting myself 2 years ago and maneged to stop myself from sucide, but i still have those thoughts and i have no idea how to stop them. Do you recommend anything?
(Sorry if im too direct but I am really desperate)
@Yoruzumy First of all, I want to clarify that 7cups is not a crisis helpline but there is help very much available. If you need emergency support, please reach out to any hotline for immediate help. Here's a link that could be useful. Your safety is of utmost importance. http://suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html . Aside to that, Since you've had this history and you feel you are again getting suicidal thoughts,it is very important that you check back in with your doc/ therapist. In times of vulnerability, it is important we seek out one on one professional support and work together through this phase. You are capable of getting to a better space, please do reach out, and take good care of yourself !!!
@Yoruzumy If you do not have a doc or therapist already, pls seek out help - in person/ telephonic /online- whatever works for you, and considering the availability in covid situation now. I hope you will make that first step. You don't have to fight this alone!!
@SarahGeorgeDCS
i went out with my ex for two years on and off. he was sexually abusive and did bad stuff. i dmped him recently to stop my self harm but he blackmailed me and forced me to do stuff. i snapped at him and threatend him afew days ago. i get alot of flashbacks of stuff hes done to me. i cant sleep cos i get nightmares of trauma from him. the blackmail incident bothers me alot but he told me its pathetic he said im dirty and everyone will see me as a s l u t if i tell people what he did. i cant cope with the past or the present. idk what to do. i keep doing destructive stuff like self harm.
@unusefulslag1932 Can't imagine the abuse you've had to go through, and I want you to know that you do not deserve it. Thank you for writing in and sharing these very difficult experiences that can be quite hard to talk about. You mentioned that you are resorting to self harm to cope and that says much about the amount of pain you are going through. Pls remember that your safety is of utmost importance, so please do reach out for one to one support. You don't have to do this alone, and it is perfectly okay to get help when we feel vulnerable. With someone to handhold you through this phase, you can work towards a better emotional space. Sending lots of warmth and strength to you.
So, everyone (parents, teachers etc..) thinks that I'm too shy, and that I need to change. Teachers even give me lower grades for being insecure, cause here we have "oral tests", so I have to talk in front of the class. And that makes me anxious. So, is shyness something that I need to change about myself? Because, it makes me uncomfortable, but at the same time I don't want to change who I am.. I hope I have been able to explain properly
@AutumnLeaf123 Thanks for sharing. Each of us has unique personalities and you should know that who you are is beautiful. The systems we have in our education set up may not be accomodative of all of our differences. I wish it was, but like you said, there's long way to do. So, If you feel any of your traits are coming in the way of things you want to achieve, you can figure out how to workaround them , staying true to your core ! Just something for you to think through. On a side note, you seem to be very self aware, that's a really wonderful strength to have, you can capitalize on that. Much love!!
Hi I am new to support chat rooms so feel a little shy
I really struggle with anxiety and work with my doctors to discuss meds as well as augmenting with (attempts) at mindfulness practice and other non-medicinal ways to manage anxiety.
One thing I still have a really hard time with is getting the anxiety under control when it is time to focus on my studies (I am currently working on my Master's of Counselling Psychology and feel a little embarrassed at my inability to manage my own mental health issues,,,)
Do you have any suggestions for increasing ability to focus on academics even when anxiety won't subside? My program is intense and the guidelines are strict so I am constantly under time constraints...
Anything you can offer is really appreciated.
With gratitude,
@lupini I can understand the forums can be a little overwhelming when you start, glad you are trying them out. And amazing to know about the efforts you've been putting into working on yourself. Here's some self help material you can check out -https://www.7cups.com/anxiety-help/. Since you seem to like mindfulness tools, there are a whole lot of exercises on 7cups too. I want to address what you shared about feeling embarassed reaching out for support, you being a student of mental health. Really appreciate this honesty. Let me share with me, therapists are encouraged to reach out to other therapists occasionally for support as well. We are human, and there is strength in vulnerability. If we don't fight the stigma, who will? Give it some thought, and do reach out for support when you need it.
Has the fact that someone was in therapy ever used against them in divorce or employment cases?
@TrappedInAmbergris
From my experience, voluntary treatment can not be used as it patients privacy rights. My friends ex-wife could not mention his treatments as they never effected her. Involuntary commitment(court ordered) is public record and the order can be mentioned but I believe treatment is still private due to patients rights. Each area can be different. Consult a lawyer or paralegal if it's a real concern.
@RealityCzech
Americans disability Act (ADA)and Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) are two primary laws in the United Stated that protect us.
@TrappedInAmbergris I'm sorry I don't have authentic information to share on this. Like some have pointed out below, it would depend on the laws of the particular country which a lawyer can advice you on. I hope you get your answers, and also do get the support when you need it. Sending lots of strength and well wishes to you!
@SarahGeorgeDCS
is it abuse or am I just overreacting? I have been clean from SH for two years this summer and I was also sexually assaulted in the second grade. my father just blatantly ignores my triggers. he cusses me out frequently, like more than once a day. he hasn't hurt me physically in years but he also never apologized and acts as if I owe it to him to forgive him. he only cares about my grades and cuts off interaction with other kids and says stuff like ( and I quote)
"a B+ is terrible"
"stupid bitch"
"Why are you such a brat"
"Why are you such a shitty person"
"you're gonna end up at Mcdonalds frying french fries"
"you're so fucking selfish! why don't you care about what I want?"
" I don't care what you think! your opinion is invalid!"
"you're gonna be homeless begging people or money"
"your only purpose is to get good grades"
"you're too smart to be getting these grades!"
( I told him to stop mocking me) "why should I?"
"you're such a bully, you don't care about anyone but yourself!"
"We should send you to a boarding school, maybe then you'd learn some respect"
"don't talk back to me, I'm your superior."
"you should care more about what I want!"
" I'm so nice to you and this is how you treat me?"
(flips me off) "fuck off asshole"
"such dumbass"
"shut the fuck up, can't you see I'm on the phone"
"you should be put in a mental hospital"
"I do so much for you"
"you should learn to respect your betters"
"you're gonna get shot one day if you don't learn your place"
"yes, you are below me"
"you need to learn to respect people like me"
"We should beat you, then maybe you'd learn your place"
he also enjoys chanting "dad is great" for about 30 minutes straight
he acts like he owns me and is actively hindering my performance in school, social, and other areas of life and acts like I should be grateful! he also enjoys saying stuff like "I feed you you should repay me for this!" and it's infuriating!
@Imheretohelp101callmechara
That's abuse. Emotional not physical this time.
@Imheretohelp101callmechara Its completely understandable that you feel infuriated, and probably really really hurt! Can't even imagine the volume of pain you had , and is still going through. I want you to know that you don't deserve this abuse, and do reach out for support. You don't have to be in this alone. If you already haven't , feel free to talk to any of our listeners or take any form of one to one support to work on the trauma you've been through . Take good care of yourself!! Sending lots of strength to you.
How can i stop being so needy? its as if i have too much problems than i cant even specify, i have friends, i talk to them about my problems but they're just as clueless as i am, i wanna be independent i dont wanna pass my burdens to them they dont deserve that, but i just really dont know what to do all the time.
@AnonymousTraveler Hmm, labelling yourself as "needy" seems like being a little too hard on yourself. May be could work on identifying and understanding what your needs, wants and expectations are, and then try to figure out what needs work? Just some food for thought, won't be able to get into therapeutic advice here.
Your thoughts about Carl Gustav Jung?
@AntonioCroatia Now what's coming to my mind is his famous quote " Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you". It resonates with me so much, I wish more people mental health as a spectrum where we all are hanging on. This perspective can help a great deal in fighting the stigme attached.
@AntonioCroatia I just noticed the typos, sorry!! I meant I wish more people *see mental health as a spectrum where we all are hanging on. This perspective can help a great deal in fighting the *stigma attached.
@AntonioCroatia I just noticed the typos, sorry!! I meant I wish more people *see mental health as a spectrum where we all are hanging on. This perspective can help a great deal in fighting the *stigma attached.
