Distortion 3. Black and White Thinking
Hi everyone! I hope you are well. We have covered two distortions so far, catastrophizing and mind reading. Please check them out if you have not yet.
Today we will talk about black-and-white thinking, also known as polarized thinking, all-or-nothing, or binary thinking. It is the tendency to think in extremes and ignore grey areas. Either something/someone is great or horrible, no in-between. Healthline, in this article, makes a good point ‘There’s a reason most people don’t live on Everest or in the Mariana Trench. It’s hard to sustain life at those extremes.’
Examples of black-and-white thinking:
- Seeing people as good or bad. X is a good person, Y is a bad person. Failing to see grey areas, areas where X is acting poorly or Y is acting in a good manner.
- Seeing something is smart or stupid. Your peer presented a project in class, you failed to see its value and deemed it as entirely stupid. On the other hand you presented a project and dismissed a valuable constructive critique as you believed the project to be good and therefore it has no flaws.
- Thinking you are a failure because you don’t do well in school. You disregard your other strengths and focus on the negatives that weigh you down.
- Thinking someone hates you because they were rude to you once.
- Thinking you have no friends as you were unable to meet your friends for a month due to busy schedules.
The reality is that most of life happens in grey areas. People are far more complex than being good or bad. Similarly, situations we face are often not all good or bad. There are times when we face exceptions to this rule, something tragic happens or we lose someone we love. However, in this post we are talking about the tendency to think black or white in general, creating a pessimistic point of view in life.
We will use the same technique that we have been using in other posts where we train ourselves to not think in extremes.
📢Points of Action:
Find out your personal hit rate (how accurate your negative assumptions are), don’t just assume, look into your past and get an accurate percentage. (You can skip this if you recall this from our last post)
Counter your black-and-white thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience.
⭐After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise.
⭐ When was the last time you engaged in black-and-white thinking and what actually ended up happening?
Further Reading
How Black and White Thinking Hurts You (and What You Can Do to Change It)
🗒️If you are interested in making a post or more in this series. Please reach out to me via PMs.
@Hope
Thank you so much
That's article reminds me of my old self
I was like this thinking like this way while I was kid but when I start to understand and try to learn more about everything it change 🙏😇
@Tulipsmile
It's amazing that you've grown and gained new perspectives! Recognizing how you've changed is such a powerful step.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It's great to see how much you've grown. To keep working towards the certificate, please complete the following tasks:
📢 Points of Action:
Find out your personal hit rate (how accurate your negative assumptions are), don’t just assume, look into your past and get an accurate percentage. (You can skip this if you recall this from our last post.)
Counter your black-and-white thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience.
⭐ After practicing this with at least one thought, tell us about your experience with this exercise.
⭐ When was the last time you engaged in black-and-white thinking and what actually ended up happening?
Looking forward to hearing how this works for you! You're doing awesome!
@Hope
Find out your personal hit rate (how accurate your negative assumptions are), don’t just assume, look into your past and get an accurate percentage. (You can skip this if you recall this from our last post)
ten percent
Counter your black-and-white thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience.
⭐After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise.
awesome!
⭐ When was the last time you engaged in black-and-white thinking and what actually ended up happening?
i failed one course so i must be a failure >>> i had issues but despite that, i tried my best
Ohhhh man, I'm in trouble here. I hate to admit it but this "black & white" thinking is so me. I wish I could say it was me, but that's not the case. I'm so guilty of thinking one way, even when I know better.
A most recent instant was when I asked someone to do me a favor. She couldn't oblige with my request and I just automatically thought of her as unreliable. So then here goes my brain thinking she's a person that I can't rely or depend on just because she couldn't do the favor for me this time. *sighs*
I've definitely got to do better with this.
@YourCaringConfidant
It’s great that you’re recognizing this pattern in yourself! It’s not always easy to catch those black-and-white thoughts, but the fact that you’re aware of it is a big step forward. Remember, people aren’t defined by one action. Keep practicing those counter-positive thoughts, and you’ll start to notice the change over time. You’ve got this!
@Hope
Counter your black-and-white thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience.
Black and white thoughts:
I got low marks in my presentation.
Overthinking. Thinking about the past. ( Forgetting to live in the present moment) ( Not accepting oneself)
Why did I get this much?
Counter-positive thoughts:
Where did I go wrong? ( Asking for feedback) ( Learning from mistakes)
My marks does'nt define who I am. There are many factors that might have affected me to perform badly. It's okay. It's not the end of the world. I still have got a chance. I can do this.
⭐After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise.
I feel much better. I have realized that I have so much potential. Though some factors might have affected me, but now I know and am aware of those factors. I will try avoid doing the same mistake again.
This exercise broadens my perspective and enables me to think positively.
⭐ When was the last time you engaged in black-and-white thinking and what actually ended up happening?
Last week. I ended up performing badly.
@Hope
The last time I found myself stuck in black-and-white thinking was when I was studying for a big exam. I had this mindset that if I didn’t get an A, it meant I was a complete failure. It felt like there was no in-between, either I aced it or I was doomed.
When I finally got my results, I was relieved to see that I did pretty well even though it wasn’t an A. Instead of feeling defeated, I realized that I had learned a lot and made progress along the way and that my grades didn’t define my worth.
@Phoenixthepoised
It’s great to see how you shifted your perspective! Realizing that progress matters more than perfection is such a powerful takeaway. Your growth through the process is what truly counts.
It is so interesting how the comment above you has the same conclusion! Grades do not define your worth!
@Hope
Counter your black-and-white thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience.
Once a person does something I don’t like, I find them awful as a person.
All of us can do things someone doesn’t like, it doesn't make us awful.
⭐After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise.
This practice was great as it helped me see the ways in which I have black and white thinking and how to help stop it.
⭐ When was the last time you engaged in black-and-white thinking and what actually ended up happening?
It’s been a while, but while I was in a relationship with my ex partner and still only friends with my now partner, I thought my ex to be a kind hearted person and found my now partner to be intimidating and possibly rude and harsh. Turns out it was the other way actually.
@Hope
Counter your black-and-white thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience.
I made a mistake so I am stupid. There is no in-between. Versus... I made a mistake, which is part of being human. I am not all smart or all dumb.
After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise.
It is a good reminder that things are not always black and white. It gives space for grace and understanding of the situation or emotional state you might be in.
When was the last time you engaged in black-and-white thinking and what actually ended up happening?
I engaged in it recently as I felt I failed with an error I made. I had not failed but actually made a tiny error that most people were not bothered by.
@ Hope
Counter your black-and-white thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience.
When things go well at work, I feel I am a great professional and when I make a mistake, I start thinking of changing careers because I am not great at my job at all and people will see I am a fraud.
⭐After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise.
My mother always told me I am a maximalist, there are no grey areas for me, only just the black and the white, love or hate, top of the mountain or down in the ditch. It seems like those patterns persist though when I see them in my daughter I try to help her see all the possibilities in between. I am preaching it, but not living it.
⭐ When was the last time you engaged in black-and-white thinking and what actually ended up happening?
Last time was just a few days ago when my partner and I had a disagreement. My feeling went immediately from being happy with the relationship to thinking it is on its last legs, predicting he is considering leaving (mind-reading) and the relationship will end up in flames (catastrophising). The next day he was his usual self and had no idea why I was grumpy and distant. But in my mind I was bracing for impact
@Healtogether702
It's really insightful that you're noticing these black-and-white thinking patterns, especially in how they affect your relationships and self-view. It sounds like you're doing well to identify moments of overreaction and are learning to step back, which is huge!
@Hope
Unfortunately, knowing is not "half done" and I have to step back and remind myself that a lot of what I think is going on is only happening in my head. Thank you for the series and the supportive feedback!
Thought: I failed my urdu test, I might fail the exam
Counter thought: I'm spending most of my time on the subject and my flaws now, there will be some improvement
Doing this is definitely...making life seem easier, I guess? It's not that I never do it but it turns into a cycle usually- negative, positive, negative, positive and so on
