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Mr. 8 or Life Obstacle Bets (LOB)

GlenM July 26th

Like many of you, I’ve had to overcome a lot of challenges in life. I used to get frustrated with unexpected problems. Normally, they crop up exactly when I don’t want them to. I have 7 challenges to solve and here comes Mr. 8 jumping the line and requiring that I deal with him now. I say to Mr. 8. “Please go back to your place in line and I’ll get to you next week.” He says, “Nope. I’m here now and I’m not going to let you focus on problems 1 and 2 until you solve me.”


As you all know, we believe the problem is the path. That it is good to have a plan, but ultimately life is too complicated so a better idea is to simply solve the next biggest problem in front of you. Then, as you solve the problem, the path before you unfolds.


That means that solving Mr. 8 is likely the best thing to do even if it feels like a detour from my original plan. Over the years, I’ve stubbornly kept focusing on problems 1 and 2 even when Mr. 8 was bugging me. I have a lot of personal data on this. It yields an okay outcome. I also have data on just listening and solving Mr. 8 that is jumping the line. That data yields a much better outcome. 


Ultimately, for me, this comes down to trusting the process of life - the river  - rather than trusting myself or my own judgment. I can stubbornly hold to my own stance on things and try to force or control things OR I can trust that there is a reason for me to solve Mr. 8.

What this means for me is I have to have a belief that solving Mr. 8 is going to better help me and those I care for (my family, this community etc.). This is what I’ve come to:

Mr. 8 jumping the line has a personalized, tailored, custom lesson for me that I need to learn for optimal growth for myself and those I love. If I solve that problem (Mr. 8), then it’ll be better for me and those around me.

If I stick to my own perspective, and try to control things, then it’ll be less positive for me and those around me. 


The concept of "the problem is the path" suggests embracing these challenges as part of the journey (adaptability).


I have come to think of Mr. 8 as a Life Obstacle Bet (LOB). I’m making the bet that solving Mr. 8 will yield better results than solving problems 1 and 2. If I am right, then fantastic. I better help others and myself. I also get to tell myself I’m making optimal progress. If I am wrong, then I’m not sure it matters all that much as I’m still solving a significant challenge that is calling me to focus on it.

The alternative belief is for me to be frustrated with the sometimes seemingly endless stream of Mr. 8 challenges that keep cutting the line. This results in me feeling irritated and frustrated. I feel like I’m not making the progress I want or need to make and I am in a constant place of playing catch up.


What is the Life Obstacle Bets (LOB) Approach?

The LOB approach reframes unexpected problems (Mr. 8) as opportunities for growth (reframing). You bet that solving Mr. 8 will yield better results than rigidly following the plan you originally had (prioritization and decision making). Even if solving Mr. 8 isn't the "optimal" solution, you're still addressing a significant issue (task management).

The LOB position invites the questions, “Hey, why not just believe that this frustrating problem is actually a disguised opportunity? What if this is a tailored challenge to help me and others grow?” If I am right, then life is easier, and I feel better about my progress. If I am wrong, then it doesn’t really matter in the long-run, and I still get to believe that I am taking the optimal path. 

Benefits of the LOB Approach:

  • Reduces frustration from seemingly endless disruptions (improved decision making).

  • Encourages viewing challenges as disguised opportunities (positive reframing).

  • Fosters a sense of progress, even when tackling unexpected hurdles (improved task management).

In conclusion, the "Life Obstacle Bet" (LOB) tackles the frustration of unexpected challenges by reframing them as opportunities for growth. By prioritizing the most pressing issues (urgency and importance), and adapting your plan when necessary, the LOB approach fosters a sense of progress and reduces decision fatigue. This flexible and optimistic mindset allows you to effectively manage tasks, prioritize effectively, and ultimately achieve the best outcomes for yourself and those around you.


Discussion Questions:

  1. Have you ever had a time when an unexpected problem turned out to be a positive experience? Remember, we can often only see this when we connect the dots looking backwards - like “oh that frustrating challenge was actually a key part of me now having this positive experience”. It only makes sense when we reflect. Similarly, when going through an unexpected frustrating time now, we can say “okay this will likely make more sense in the future just like those other times” now when I look back.

  2. What's your biggest challenge with staying organized and managing your tasks?

  3. How do you usually deal with feeling frustrated when things don't go according to plan?

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Gargi07 July 26th

@GlenM

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Glen. Your analogy with Mr. 8 resonates deeply. Life's unexpected challenges often seem inconvenient, but your perspective on solving the most pressing issue first is enlightening again thankyou so much for sharing...


And.....For me, when things don't go according to plan and I feel frustrated, I let the waves of frustration wash over me like the rain. I breathe deeply, grounding myself in the moment. I see each obstacle as a lesson, a step on my journey. Breaking down the problem into smaller pieces helps me navigate the storm anddd The most important, when I think about nothing get wrong and I keep telling that thing to my mind....it Also helps me alotttt. I usually do things alone because when it comes to problem solving I am good at solving problems on my own rather than asking others....but sometimes I take help of friends for support. And By staying flexible and adapting, I find new paths to follow. Taking time for self-care, like walking barefoot on the earth, reconnects me with my inner calm, allowing me to move forward with renewed strength.


Also, yes, I once had an unexpected problem turn out positive onc. I had a big school project go wrong, and my entire grade depended on it. With the deadline so close, it felt like the end of the world. I started freaking out, but then I told myself to calm down. I just thought like nothing had happened, and thats how I solve my problems and it's always helped me think clearly about solving the problems. So, I decided to talk to some of my classmates, even though I usually didn't because I was new at the school and didn't want to make friends cause I was there for a very short time. But, still I reached out to a girl and explained my situation and all. She helped me by giving suggestions on what to change and do. Thanks to her help, I managed to turn things around and i got good gardes!!!!!!!!!! This experience pushed me to connect with others and build new friendships and that friendship was amazinggggggg I got the best friend in that school...... Looking back, that setback was a turning point that taught me the value of collaboration and staying calm under pressure. Now, when things go wrong, I remind myself that these moments often bring hidden opportunities and lessons, just like before.

6 replies
GlenM OP July 26th

@Gargi07 I'm glad it resonates and I like the way you have captured the process in your own life. I want to make sure I understand the important piece you are highlighting about believing that it isn't really a problem. Is the idea: okay this is a real problem, but rather than let my emotions get the best of me, I'm going to look at this objectively, trust that it will all work out, so I can solve it in a better manner? If I'm missing the point here, please share more so I can better understand!

3 replies
Gargi07 July 26th

@GlenM

Yes, you’ve understood correctly. In a simple language, what I meant is that when a problem arises, I remind myself that it's not a big issue and that there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with the situation there's not a problem. I tell myself that everything is okay and fine. This mindset helps me approach the problem calmly and find the best solution.

2 replies
GlenM OP July 26th

@Gargi07 I like this idea, "the Gargi method" :)

1 reply
Gargi07 July 26th

@GlenM

Lol, thankyou so much, I'm glad u like the "gargi method"✨

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Tinywhisper11 July 26th

@Gargi07 you got a great outlook on things ❤❤❤ 

1 reply
Gargi07 July 26th

@Tinywhisper11

Thankyou so much 🤍🤍

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Hope July 26th

@GlenM

This is an important topic. Thank you for covering it.  I think it's one of those things where our feelings get the best of us and we find it hard to stick to logic. Logically obstacle is the way, problem is the path but what an emotionally draining process!

I don't recall specific problems turning positive but I can recall a few times when things did not go as wrong as I thought they would. It feels silly when you look back at how frustrated you got and how it worked out after all. Perhaps we are too quick to judge and jump to conclusions. Sometimes we brace for impact and it turns out there was no crash after all. 

I have found one way to manage life when it gets rough is to just focus on the task at hand. Just the next step and not bother too much with what will come after and how many remain! I have found that I was almost always never worried about the step at hand, it was the many challenging ones that came after that weighed me down emotionally. “I can't see a way through," said the boy. "Can you see your next step?" "Yes." "Just take that," said the horse.”

― Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse


Few more thoughts for fellow worry warriors

1. Live life in day-tight compartments

2. A wise man accepts his suffering, endures it but does not add to it - Marcus Aurelius 

3. I’ve suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.― Mark Twain


Resources I recommend for further reading

  • Book - Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday
  • Book - How to stop worrying and start living by Dale Carnegie 

5 replies
GlenM OP July 26th

@Hope thanks for sharing your stoic wisdom with us! I like your point that we often "brace for the crash that never comes." Have you found any good ways to tell yourself, amidst bracing, hey maybe this will end up being fine like most other things end up being fine?

And any tips on how to keep trusting as things unfold?

2 replies
Hope July 26th

@GlenM

At the moment I do not have any broadly applicable tips for this. I rely on my faith as I am a practicing Muslim. Most people believe in something greater than themself. I think sometimes you have to just trust something bigger than yourself. 

1 reply
GlenM OP July 26th

Well said! Okay if anything comes to mind please share. I know you have done a lot of thinking on this!

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Tinywhisper11 July 26th

@Hope one day at a time, focus on now, instead of the past or future. Ok I understand that, thanks for all the helpful tips and quotes here ❤

1 reply
Hope July 26th

@Tinywhisper11

Thank you

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toughTiger6481 July 26th

@GlenM

  1. Have you ever had a time when an unexpected problem turned out to be a positive experience? 

    This is true we do not see how we grew or how something helped until after the fact. It is hard to share that fact with others who let themselves be frantic or paralyzed by unexpected problem. Learning to face/ deal and solve problems is ALWAYS a growth experience. 

  2. What's your biggest challenge with staying organized and managing your tasks?

    One of the hardest parts for me in staying organized and managing tasks is lack of follow thru from others example you reach out for clarification or answer to something and they respond days / week later ... some taking "i will get to it when i get to it " attitude frustrate me as if we can communicate we can finish this and move on to next task.  I often need to remind myself just because this is a priority for ME doe snot mean it is top of list for others. 


  3. How do you usually deal with feeling frustrated when things don't go according to plan?

    It gets easier when you learn patience and an attitude that you can only control yourself.   Plans are guidelines that are semi fluid and can adjust or else a person will be frustrated a LOT. 

  

4 replies
GlenM OP July 26th

@toughTiger6481 great points! Yes, when we are in it, we can't always trust that it'll likely work out and be fine and we will grow from the experience even though it seems like that is the most likely outcome. Have you found ways to help keep yourself in this mind space when you are in a difficult situation? If yes, what seems to work for you best?

3 replies
toughTiger6481 July 26th

@GlenM

Honestly the thing that keeps me going is if i know others with more problems or hurdles got thru something I CAN TOO....

To quote Dori in finding Nemo  " just keep swimming" 



2 replies
Gargi07 July 26th

@toughTiger6481

I like how you use the "finding Nemo" quote here , that's so perfect 

GlenM OP July 26th

@toughTiger6481 great point on the importance of good models! I think we do a good job of that here, but we can always do better. We need hope to keep swimming and when we see others making it through to the other side, it gives us hope. Great points!

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Tinywhisper11 July 26th

@GlenM ok so for me the challenges I have are mostly mental health issues and physical health. No.8 well that is one that comes up this month, I generally spiral into deep depression, but I've been not ignoring my feelings and getting support from my friend s here, so addressing no.8 properly this year, I'm doing well. But on Tuesday it's my sons 13 th birthday, he's a angel in heaven now ❤ honestly not sure how I'm going to get through the next few days.

Adressing no.8 and doing so much better with it than the previous few years, has made me think that maybe if I stop trying to forget number 1,'2, or 3 actual exists and try to work thtough, then may be my path will start unfolding to

I got a long way to go, I don't know how others get through it. Shame, guilt, grief , depression, constant physical pain, double amputee, yep! Life sucks right now😥 but thank God and glen I have 7 cups, it's my life line so thankyou ❤❤

3 replies
GlenM OP July 26th

@Tinywhisper11 and I thank God we've got you Tiny and I know many others do too! It sounds like you are doing a really nice job practicing proactive coping - building up your resources for what you know will be a challenging time ahead. Very smart! And glad you are leaning on your friends here. We all need to lean on one another to overcome our challenges. I think you said above, one step at a time :). Keep up the GREAT work!

Clio9876 July 31st

@Tinywhisper11

Yesterday was Tuesday. So here's a bunch of flowers for you 💐🌻🌺🍀

I hope you are doing OK.

1 reply
Tinywhisper11 July 31st

@Clio9876 ❤🙂 thanks clio, that's very sweet ❤ we had a little celebration and everyone here at the carehome where I live put a flower by his cross, and I let a poem I wrote him float up to heaven on a balloon🙂 

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SparkyGizmo July 26th

@GlenM

Hi Glen! 😊 ❤️ Many thanks for this fantastic forum post! For me, there is so much to love here and all of this highly resonates with me! 


I really enjoy the way in which you wrote this! It's valuable to see the high level of optimism right along side and balanced with the strong streak of realism. Both can co-exist and it's nice that you presented things in that way. I enjoyed the humor that added a bit of levity as well as your vulnerability here with us all. Both pulled me in even more and made me want to continue reading. Trust, I'm so in the zone, me too! *high fives* 😊


So many things came to mind as I read through :

"Life is what happens to us when we are planning to do other things". 

"Want to make God laugh? Make a plan". 

An additional thing that came to mind is one of the teachings of Mark Manson. I really enjoyed reading his thoughts about that many times we might not be solving problems. Everything in life is kind of a trade off, that we are simply trading one problem for another. Sometimes it's a choice of the lesser evil?

As an aside, this makes complete sense to me even when considering Newtons third law of motion. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. 


I don't see the above things as negative at all, but instead, with acceptance comes peace. I didn't invite the dreaded Mr. 8 to my party, but darn if he doesn't find a way of showing up, lol 😊! Mr. 8 exists and knowing this ahead of time helps me to control the controllables and do my best to mitigate his impact. 


Have you ever had a time when an unexpected problem turned out to be a positive experience?

Absolutely! While it may not have felt great to go through it, there was something to learn along the way. Many moments will be incredibly painful for us as humans. I am stronger now because of it, there was something to learn, maybe a bit of character building? If it was incredibly hard I have something to compare current situations to. If I got through that then I will get through this also. One can also can use their hindsight to help others along the way. This can give purpose to pain. It wasn't all in vain if you take the "unnecessary suffering" and use it to help and support others (wounded healer).


Even if I think that there was nothing at all, nothing to learn from a negative experience, at the minimum.....I learned how NOT to treat people as I know first hand how bad it feels. Always better, never bitter! This is winning!


What's your biggest challenge with staying organized and managing your tasks?

Mr. 8, lol 😊 While Mr. 8 is quite nefarious, I plan my work and work my plan. I have short term goals, long term goals and try to be forward thinking and always trying to see the bigger picture in an effort to "head him off at the pass". I try to get things done ahead of time and leave some wiggle room in my day to address putting out fires 🔥 if the dreaded Mr. 8 decides to rear his ugly head. For other things (long term), I still know if Mr. 8 is there, slow and steady wins the race. Some things have a way of clearing themselves up in due time or with patience and proper planning, there could be impact in that way too.


How do you usually deal with feeling frustrated when things don't go according to plan?

I allow myself to feel frustrated, disappointed, what ever it may be. I sit in the space and truly feel it all. No reason to run or hide from those feelings/emotions as they know where I live and they will find me eventually. I'd rather do my best to deal with it and get on with it at the first chance I get. Again, with acceptance comes peace. Many times, I'll take my hands off the wheel, leave it alone for a bit, sleep on it as tomorrow is a new day. Sometimes it's better for me to address the issue the next day with a clear head and a more productive mindset.


Thanks again for this forum post. I enjoyed being a part of it all!


*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️

3 replies
GlenM OP July 26th

@SparkyGizmo great insights Sparky! Man plans, God laughs. So many of these sayings, because it seems like we need continuous reminders of our limited ability to understand and influence things. 

I like your point about recalling past times I have overcome challenges and it worked out and then using that reality to propel me through the current belief that I'm focused on. And I appreciate the deep acceptance you have shared. It is hard to do that! Reminds me of this guide: https://www.7cups.com/act-therapy-techniques/.

I had to look up Mark Manson. I've not read his stuff before, but will check him out more in-depth soon.

1 reply
SparkyGizmo July 26th

@GlenM

Many thanks my friend! 😊 ❤️ 

Thank you also for dropping the link. I bookmarked it so I that I can experience it soon! It looks really interesting! 

*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️

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slowdecline48 July 30th

@SparkyGizmo

"...the high level of optimism right along side and balanced with the strong streak of realism. Both can co-exist..."

Depending on what field of human affairs you are discussing, that isn't always true.

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CalmRosebud July 26th

@GlenM

Glenn,

 

8 = infinity sideways

 

Einstein famously wrote that time is an illusion.

 

Abhijit Naskar, the author of “Love, God & Neurons: Memoir of a scientist who found himself by getting lost,” wrote, “Time is basically an illusion created by the mind to aid in our sense of temporal presence in the vast ocean of space. Without the neurons to create a virtual perception of the past and the future based on all our experiences, there is no actual existence of the past and the future. All that there is, is the present.”

 

Alan Watts said, “The same attitude of relaxed gentleness [practiced in judo] is most beautifully seen when you watch cats climbing trees. When a cat falls out of a tree, it lets go of itself. The cat becomes completely relaxed, and lands lightly on the ground. But if a cat were about to fall out of a tree and suddenly made up its mind that it didn't want to fall, it would become tense and rigid, and would be just a bag of broken bones upon landing.

“In the same way, it is the philosophy of the Tao that we are all falling off a tree, at every moment of our lives. As a matter of fact, the moment we were born we were kicked off a precipice and we are falling, and there is nothing that can stop it. So instead of living in a state of chronic tension and clinging to all sorts of things that are falling with us because the whole world is impermanent, be like a cat. Don't resist it.”

Problem ∞ is the problem we are compelled to solve now.

 

In the infinite space of “now,” my Problem ∞ is to complete my latest book.

 

Love and Courage,

Rose


screenshot-2024-07-26-at-11-12-10-am_1722006752.png



11 replies
PetiteSouris July 26th

@CalmRosebud

I listen to Alan Watts a lot.

Here is my fav quote of his:

image-17_1722031901.jpeg

7 replies
Helgafy July 27th

@PetiteSouris

Can I say this? I would add to be "fully" alive to the sentence you gave. "Just to be alive" could be living like a fish on the shore, only breathing a little bit.

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PetiteSouris July 27th

@Helgafy

I would be interested in knowing your interpretation.

For me, Alan Watts quote says, one doesn't need to be "fully" anything. These are his exact words and not mine. These words resonate with me, brings me peace that I am seeking. His teachings remind me to live in the present moment, to have faith, to worry less, to flow with the universe, trust God. In nature birds, dont worry, they go with the flow od the universe, live in the present moment. We can see this, as their homes are built to be temporary, and not permanent concrete stuctures. They dont worry that they may lose their home in a storm, they have faith that they can rebuild. When it's time to migrate, the hummingbirds in my backyard will not stay even though I have 10 feeders filled with food. They have faith that they will be okay during their journey, and are not lured by my feeders to not leave. They live in the present moment, I would say. Having faith and living in the present moment, to me it means going with the flow.

Im not saying I won't make plans or dont do things I want to do. Most certainly I do, but if life doesn't work out the way I want then I dont fester up negative emotions. Those emotions can and do make us sick. Worry can create heart and gut problems [acid reflux for example]. It is my belief that, in life our trying is more important than the outcome. I believe our reactions to the outcome is important as well.

Maybe that barely breathing fish is trying its best in the world, and contributing the dance of the cosmos in its own unique way. Or maybe the fish "appears" to be barely breathing to us, but they are happy within themselves.

Id be happy to  know what they quote meant to you, and why you added fully. 

3 replies
Helgafy July 28th

@PetiteSouris

Thank you friend for writing. I have been sick for many years - ME (Myalgic encephalomyelitis/CFS-chronic fatigue syndrome). I also have in between depressions. Because of that sickness I have to be in bed or at the couch in my living room - watching TV. I have not been walking around outside my flat for 2 years now. So because of this sickness there is a lot of sorrow in my life (cannot do this - cannot do that). Often I just lie in my bed thinking - well I can breathe. But to enjoy life - and a meaningful one - it would be nice to be able to do more things. That's what I mean by "living fully" - not barely feeling I'm alive. Sometimes I also think; Am I alive tomorrow?
I'm aware of the "now". I thank Jesus Christ when I can give water to a flower in my home. I thank him when I can walk on my feet to another room - because I know what the opposite would be - not being able to walk to that room.
And yes - you're right; Jesus Christ told us not to worry about anything - but to look at the birds and the flowers - how their Father in heaven give them food and clothing.

In life we have to go to our jobs to have money to live (we don't have to rush as is written in Watts' sentence.) And yes, it's better for our health as you're writing. All the best from Helga.

1 reply
PetiteSouris July 28th

@Helgafy

Your post was heartfelt. I am sending my positive thoughts and prayers to you. I have some clarity now why you said that you would add the word, " fully, " and would love for you to have the ability to experience life walking outside of your apartment. Thank you for giving life to the flowers in your home, you are truly a beautiful person. I can feel this in your post, and I felt the want to "fully" experience life. I hope that cups give you some way to cope while you are in your apartment. I love that you are faithful, love that for you. Keep sharing your faith, I read your post praying for Glenn and Heather. Would you say that sharing your faith, is your gift to the world? 

heart-heart-images.gif

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GlenM OP July 29th

@PetiteSouris thank you for sharing this lovely description of the birds! And I love the contrasting point that even with the 10 feeders, they still move on in their journey and trust that things will be fine. I think for some of us, those things that are like feeders bring us comfort and keep us from taking those next steps that are necessary for growth. Very well said!

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GlenM OP July 26th

@CalmRosebud thank you for sharing and love and courage right back at you! 

Yes, these concepts are slippery. I think Watts does a nice job of making the eastern insights a little more palpable to the western mind. The cat metaphor is a good one! I hadn't heard that before. Reminds me of this story:

A Taoist story tells of an old man who accidentally fell into the river rapids leading to a high and dangerous waterfall. Onlookers feared for his life. Miraculously, he came out alive and unharmed downstream at the bottom of the falls. People asked him how he managed to survive.

“I accommodated myself to the water, not the water to me. Without thinking, I allowed myself to be shaped by it. Plunging into the swirl, I came out with the swirl. This is how I survived.”

1 reply
PetiteSouris July 27th

@GlenM

This reminds me of: 

"Just Keep Swimming"- Dory from Nemo

I loved the way she just went with the flow even though she had a bad memory, while Nemo's dad was worrying. Her "just keep swimming", always worked out. 

love-it-i-love-it.gif

❤︎

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Helgafy July 27th

@CalmRosebud

Hi Rose.

Well - we had our discussions before. The last chapter you're writing here about us fal ling from our birth is a bit dep ressing to read I think. What about the dimension of God/Jesus Christ holding his hand under/around us?
Psalm 139:5–6 The New King James Version

5 You have hedged me behind and before,

And laid Your hand upon me.

6 fSuch knowledge is too wonderful for me;

It is high, I cannot attain it.

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@GlenM

1) Plenty of times. So many I can't pick one out. 

2) Depression. ex) I have a lot of clothes and I separated them into give away, recycle, and sell pile. The sell pile is overwhelming and I get too sad to tackle it. 

3) I sleep. That's #1. Other things are play video games, doom scroll, or I try to make myself exercise and garden. 

WeEarth July 26th

Thank you @GlenM for this insightful post 💓

Yes, I experienced the same. I believe that, challenges are opportunities to grow, and we need to learn from our life. They bring us the paths which will lead us closer to our destiny. That's what I believe as of now 

I think as of now, the biggest challenges I face are predicting unforeseen events and managing multiple priorities. Sometimes, things don't go as we expect, and that will lead to delaying or missing out on the remaining tasks. But I think I am improving everyday. In my case, I approached the situation by being flexible rather than being on a strict schedule, by considering the possible situations. I know I am not at my best right now, but I am managing my tasks and staying organized.

At present, I take a few minutes to think about my plans and considerations to understand why that particular plan failed. Sometimes, Its difficult so I take a short break, look at that failure as a path to success. I try to improve my next plan by considering the factors that led to the previous plan's failure. Life is all about trials and I think they will help us gain experiences.

9 replies
Helgafy July 27th

@WeEarth

Hi Earth.

"Life is all about trials and I think they will help us gain experiences." Is not this very sad Earth? I mean if the trials make us feel depressed? Well friend - I know it's all about accepting our life moment by moment - good or bad, and I simply like very much the good moments.

4 replies
WeEarth July 27th

@Helgafy

How are you doing, my friend?

Thank you for sharing your views. Yes, I got that! 

Life is unpredictable, yes we can predict to some extent but in the long run, I don't think so. Sometimes we have to experiment with ourselves and try to move towards our ideal or stable state, I understand that ideality is a subjective topic, but we all work and live to attain our ideal life or follow our goals which we expect to happen. What do you think, it's my perspective. 

WeEarth July 27th

@Helgafy

Yes, glad to hear your view on this. I agree with that, but sometimes we need bad moments right? to know us better and I think it will help us to face any challenges in life. 🤔

2 replies
Helgafy July 28th

@WeEarth

Thank you for writing Earth. Well - I think I have too many bad moments (but I choose not to complain - it does not help to do that). But I just wrote a bit to PetiteSoris above - so of trials I have many you can see.

1 reply
WeEarth July 29th

@Helgafy

Hmm, I got that! I will read that, thank you my friend for letting me know that!

Anyway, my best wishes for the coming time. 

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GlenM OP July 29th

@WeEarth thank you for sharing your thoughts here. The word destiny is a tough one for me to get my mind around. @hope highlights the Stoics quite a bit and how they thought about it. Can you help us better understand what it means to you? I think practical ways to understand it can be helpful! 

And way to persevere! Most of us are not at our best most of the time :). I think it is great that you can see that and you keep working, moving forward, learning from your mistakes and trying to do better the next time. I don't think anyone can ask any more of you (or any of us!) if we are doing as you outlined.

3 replies
WeEarth July 29th

@GlenM

Thank you for the response. If you have Hope's post, please do share! If not, I can understand. 

Stoicism is a new word for me but after doing some research I think its similar to my view points, to some extent. When it comes to destiny, it's just my perspectives and I admit that it may or may not change in the future. We, humans are social and emotional beings and most of us follow any specific religion. Why do we do that?  Maybe due to the fact that, beliefs and hope hold significance in human life and it may help us build confidence and move forward. So, I think destiny is something that can motivate us in specific situations. I know I am not a complete believer in destiny, I believe in hard work, like if we work hard, we will achieve our goals. But sometimes, I think that destiny plays only a 40% role, like if despite working hard, I don't achieve my goals, then destiny may lead me to another path. At the same time, I don't believe that destiny is absolute.  

I think, if we don't get our desired outcome in the first run, then we should try changing our approach rather than waiting for destiny to lead. Destiny is a term that might help us cope with or suppress intense emotions in the end point, I know it not a good thing. But destiny is relative and I think it will support in overcoming intense emotions if there seems to be no way out. So, it depends on the situation. As of now, that's my explanation and I am actively looking forward to understanding more.

2 replies
GlenM OP July 29th

@WeEarth thank you for expanding on your beliefs. I like that you put it at 40%. And, as in on cue, @hope shared this earlier today: "The Fates lead the willing, but drag the unwilling." Cleanthes

1 reply
WeEarth July 29th

@GlenM

Will check it out, Thank you! I am so glad to hear back from you 😊

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NewYorker11 July 26th

@GlenM

@GlenM  thank you so much for this informative post regarding the LOB (Life Obstacle Bets) Theory, and i think that all people from all walks of life can relate to this community post!

Discussion Questions:

  1. Have you ever had a time when an unexpected problem turned out to be a positive experience? Remember, we can often only see this when we connect the dots looking backwards - like “oh that frustrating challenge was actually a key part of me now having this positive experience”. It only makes sense when we reflect. Similarly, when going through an unexpected frustrating time now, we can say “okay this will likely make more sense in the future just like those other times” now when I look back.

    one particular time when a frustrating challenge turned out to be a positive experience was in my first semester of University, right out of graduating from High School at the age of 17. i was attending on a half scholarship, and after one semester of classes, i did not make the grades to keep my scholarship. as soon as a few months later, i landed a job as a junior accounting executive with a very prestigious banking company. so, i think that sticking it out all that time turned something that was negative into positivity!

  2. What's your biggest challenge with staying organized and managing your tasks?

    my biggest challenge with staying organized and managing my tasks is making sure that i achieve my month to month financial goals - i think in this aspect of my life, the passing of time has taught me to do this better...

  3. How do you usually deal with feeling frustrated when things don't go according to plan?

    when i feel frustrated because something doesn't go according to plans, i usually try dealing with it by doing something that makes me happy or helps me to relax, like playing video games and/or listening to music!

1 reply
GlenM OP July 29th

@NewYorker11 what a great example of a silver lining! Glad you landed a great job! 

I like your point on relaxing. I also think that is really important. When we are worried or frustrated, I think it is hard for us to see all the options and possibilities. We have restricted vision. Thank you for sharing!

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calmMango9611 July 27th

@GlenM Thank you for writing this timely piece of information. I love reading, your posts.  I love how you, give us food for thought as well. You're an amazing teacher, psychologist, writer and an all around great person.

i-see-south-park.gif

1 reply
GlenM OP July 29th

@calmMango9611 thank you for these kind words and I'm glad the post was helpful! I mostly try to share things with you all that I feel like life is teaching me. Sometimes I have to go through the lessons several times, but then I get it. Then, when I share it with you all, you open up new ways of looking at it that helps me, so the teaching process and providing food for thought works both ways!

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