Mr. 8 or Life Obstacle Bets (LOB)

@WeEarth

Hi Earth.

"Life is all about trials and I think they will help us gain experiences." Is not this very sad Earth? I mean if the trials make us feel depressed? Well friend - I know it's all about accepting our life moment by moment - good or bad, and I simply like very much the good moments.

@Helgafy

How are you doing, my friend?

Thank you for sharing your views. Yes, I got that! 

Life is unpredictable, yes we can predict to some extent but in the long run, I don't think so. Sometimes we have to experiment with ourselves and try to move towards our ideal or stable state, I understand that ideality is a subjective topic, but we all work and live to attain our ideal life or follow our goals which we expect to happen. What do you think, it's my perspective. 

@Helgafy

Yes, glad to hear your view on this. I agree with that, but sometimes we need bad moments right? to know us better and I think it will help us to face any challenges in life. 🤔

@WeEarth

Thank you for writing Earth. Well - I think I have too many bad moments (but I choose not to complain - it does not help to do that). But I just wrote a bit to PetiteSoris above - so of trials I have many you can see.

@Helgafy

Hmm, I got that! I will read that, thank you my friend for letting me know that!

Anyway, my best wishes for the coming time. 

@WeEarth thank you for sharing your thoughts here. The word destiny is a tough one for me to get my mind around. @hope highlights the Stoics quite a bit and how they thought about it. Can you help us better understand what it means to you? I think practical ways to understand it can be helpful! 

And way to persevere! Most of us are not at our best most of the time :). I think it is great that you can see that and you keep working, moving forward, learning from your mistakes and trying to do better the next time. I don't think anyone can ask any more of you (or any of us!) if we are doing as you outlined.

@GlenM

Thank you for the response. If you have Hope's post, please do share! If not, I can understand. 

Stoicism is a new word for me but after doing some research I think its similar to my view points, to some extent. When it comes to destiny, it's just my perspectives and I admit that it may or may not change in the future. We, humans are social and emotional beings and most of us follow any specific religion. Why do we do that?  Maybe due to the fact that, beliefs and hope hold significance in human life and it may help us build confidence and move forward. So, I think destiny is something that can motivate us in specific situations. I know I am not a complete believer in destiny, I believe in hard work, like if we work hard, we will achieve our goals. But sometimes, I think that destiny plays only a 40% role, like if despite working hard, I don't achieve my goals, then destiny may lead me to another path. At the same time, I don't believe that destiny is absolute.  

I think, if we don't get our desired outcome in the first run, then we should try changing our approach rather than waiting for destiny to lead. Destiny is a term that might help us cope with or suppress intense emotions in the end point, I know it not a good thing. But destiny is relative and I think it will support in overcoming intense emotions if there seems to be no way out. So, it depends on the situation. As of now, that's my explanation and I am actively looking forward to understanding more.

@WeEarth thank you for expanding on your beliefs. I like that you put it at 40%. And, as in on cue, @hope shared this earlier today: "The Fates lead the willing, but drag the unwilling." Cleanthes

@GlenM

Will check it out, Thank you! I am so glad to hear back from you 😊

@GlenM

@GlenM  thank you so much for this informative post regarding the LOB (Life Obstacle Bets) Theory, and i think that all people from all walks of life can relate to this community post!

Discussion Questions:

1. Have you ever had a time when an unexpected problem turned out to be a positive experience? Remember, we can often only see this when we connect the dots looking backwards - like “oh that frustrating challenge was actually a key part of me now having this positive experience”. It only makes sense when we reflect. Similarly, when going through an unexpected frustrating time now, we can say “okay this will likely make more sense in the future just like those other times” now when I look back.

   one particular time when a frustrating challenge turned out to be a positive experience was in my first semester of University, right out of graduating from High School at the age of 17. i was attending on a half scholarship, and after one semester of classes, i did not make the grades to keep my scholarship. as soon as a few months later, i landed a job as a junior accounting executive with a very prestigious banking company. so, i think that sticking it out all that time turned something that was negative into positivity!

2. What's your biggest challenge with staying organized and managing your tasks?

   my biggest challenge with staying organized and managing my tasks is making sure that i achieve my month to month financial goals - i think in this aspect of my life, the passing of time has taught me to do this better...

3. How do you usually deal with feeling frustrated when things don't go according to plan?

   when i feel frustrated because something doesn't go according to plans, i usually try dealing with it by doing something that makes me happy or helps me to relax, like playing video games and/or listening to music!

@NewYorker11 what a great example of a silver lining! Glad you landed a great job! 

I like your point on relaxing. I also think that is really important. When we are worried or frustrated, I think it is hard for us to see all the options and possibilities. We have restricted vision. Thank you for sharing!

@GlenM Thank you for writing this timely piece of information. I love reading, your posts.  I love how you, give us food for thought as well. You're an amazing teacher, psychologist, writer and an all around great person.

@calmMango9611 thank you for these kind words and I'm glad the post was helpful! I mostly try to share things with you all that I feel like life is teaching me. Sometimes I have to go through the lessons several times, but then I get it. Then, when I share it with you all, you open up new ways of looking at it that helps me, so the teaching process and providing food for thought works both ways!

Thank you and mke me feel much better.

I am here if need me and click away.x 

That's nice information.

@GlenM

1. Have you ever had a time when an unexpected problem turned out to be a positive experience? Remember, we can often only see this when we connect the dots looking backwards - like “oh that frustrating challenge was actually a key part of me now having this positive experience”. It only makes sense when we reflect. Similarly, when going through an unexpected frustrating time now, we can say “okay this will likely make more sense in the future just like those other times” now when I look back.
   
   In life, it is impossible to know that something is not right for you without trying that road. It would be nice if there was some oracle that could tell us beforehand if this is going to work out, but there isn't. I do not view the misteps as a waste. I view them as having been necessary to find my true self. I spent nearly an entire decade of my life trying to find an IT job. First, I tried some certifications and then I tried a position at a company and then I tried entrance exams for upgrades and promotions. Through all of this, I realized that IT is just not for me. I started to understand this only because I had gone down this road. Now I know my true calling (something in service, helping others). But, I could not have known with this much clarity if I had not gone down the IT road.
   
   

2. What's your biggest challenge with staying organized and managing your tasks?
   

   My learning disabilities give me a little bit of ADHD. Because my brain has a low threshold for information (but at the same time, I cannot sit idle, none of us can), I have to keep switching tasks to keep the levels of information from each task limited and something that my brain can handle. This mimics ADHD and has become something of a pattern. The way that I stay organized and manage my tasks is by making lists and not interrupting my flow or momentum when I am in the zone and by taking a lot of breaks, which my brain needs. Sometimes, music helps me stay focused (therapeutic listening). I also tell myself this quote that I made up to keep going - "You know what to do even when you do not know what to do".
   
   

3. How do you usually deal with feeling frustrated when things don't go according to plan?
   
   I used to get angry at times when things did not go well according to plan. But, over the past few years, I have learned to let go of things because I have realized not to hold on to feelings if they do not help me go forward in life in all aspects. I think environment also matters, when it is a stressful environment, when people around you are overly anxious all the time, and things go really fast; you tend to become very volatile very fast, and also feel under pressure even though there may not be as much pressure as we think there is, it amplifies in our brain, it is too much to take. On the other hand, when you are in a relaxed environment, the same things that stressed you can be attended to, more easily, you will be at ease and things will go smooth even if things do not work out.

@TU100OT

Thank you for sharing.

I can't express in words, but I felt everything you wrote. 

It resonated with me.

♡

@PetiteSouris

@TU100OT

❤️❤️❤️

@SparkyGizmo

@TU100OT

oh my gosh.....I love this! Sooooooo adorable! ❤️

*high fives* 😊 and big *hugs* ❤️ my sweet friend! 

@SparkyGizmo

💖😇🥰 *hugs* and *highfives*

@TU100OT thank you for sharing these thoughts! Very helpful! Your response to # 1 reminded me of that Edison quote where he says it isn't that I failed 999 times, it is just that I learned 999 ways of not doing it. I like that sometimes we invest only to find that that isn't the right path and that can be very valuable information.

And I appreciate the self-awareness you share in 2 and 3. I think it is a huge advantage to know how your mind works and how to manage things so that you can optimally take in information and navigate. Nicely done! And the relaxation point is consistent with what @newyorker11 wrote above. 

Hello Glen.

Since we have your attention here; could I just say (I told Heather a month ago) that I pray daily for you and Heather and 7Cups, in the name of Jesus Christ, that 7Cups will be a safe habour for the persons coming here.

@Helgafy thank you for your prayers! And yes we want 7 Cups to be a safe harbor for all who visit, so they can find peace, heal, and be a source of light and love to those around them. Thank you 🙏!

@GlenM

It's as they say challenges are opportunities for growth, with some challenges bringing more meaning into your life as opposed to reward. It's not always about the external, wealth can flourish within the heart with understandings in life.

@amicableox0685

Friend - I like very much your sentence:  "wealth can flourish within the heart with understandings in life." I want a lot of that wealth!

@Helgafy

Thank you.

@amicableox0685 great point that hasn't been raised yet. We often worry about the material things or accomplishments even though they quickly fade, whereas wisdom can be much more valuable and tends to stay with us for a long time.

@GlenM

I like the principle of learning how to take life upsets in your stride. **** happens and getting frustrated when plans go awry for Mr 8 can be counter productive.

But this made me wonder, should I not plan, then? And I conclude that life is a balance. Its good to have long term goals/plans. And to make the day to day stuff wait a little, to make time for those goals. But also to accept that those goals aren't harmed by some times having to wait a little for Mr 8.

@Clio9876 I think you got it! I was trying to find this quote on planning - like it is necessary, but we shouldn't hold the plans too tightly. Here is one from Eisenhower that kind of gets at it: "Plans are nothing; planning is everything." I think we have our plan, and we know where we are going, but we stay flexible in how we get there. We understand that it is impossible to predict how things will unfold and we trust the basic process. 

@GlenM

" have a plan but stay flexible in how we get there"

I like that.

@GlenM

Yes...sort of.

I consider the LOB like all other approaches to life: it can work if done well but it will never work 100% of the time. In my experience no strategy or tactic does, however effective &/or intelligent it may be...or to put it another way, it'll work until you get into a situation where it doesn't.

Maybe one should "trust the river" more than one's own judgment much or most of the time. That may be wise. But in certain scenarios, if you stray from your plan you will be making a dumb move & leaving an opening for Murphy to work his foul sorcery.* Often it comes down to how well you designed your plan to begin with. While it's true that no one can anticipate every possible contingency, you can figure out the most likely contingencies & incorporate those into your plan.

@slowdecline48 great points and agree! I think it is smart to do a, b, and z planning. from here

• Plan A is what you’re doing right now. It’s your current implementation of your competitive advantage. Within a Plan A you make minor adjustments as you learn, and iterate regularly.
• Plan B is what you pivot to when you need to change either your goal or the route for getting there — sometimes because Plan A isn’t working; sometimes because you’ve discovered a better opportunity; sometimes because you just change.
• Plan Z is the fallback position: your lifeboat if you end up being thrown into rough waters. It is the plan if all your other plans fall apart. The certainty of Plan Z is what allows you to take on uncertainty and risk in your Plans A and B.

@GlenM That's a good approach. It reminds me of a maxim I heard from a Vietnam veteran once: "no plan survives the first contact intact." 😏 Unfortunately that link is behind a membership wall...otherwise I'd read whatever the author there has to say.

A "plan Z" is certainly important to have....it beats going from Plan A to Plan B to Plan O S***.

Also - my biggest problem in handling my affairs is lack of focus. This is especially true when I'm doing something complicated that involves creative effort. My talents go in a few different directions, but I don't say that to brag. The more things you can do competently or well, the easier it is to lose sight of the end goal.

@slowdecline48 is the complicated task more challenging because it has multiple steps?

@GlenM No, that's not what I said.

@GlenM

Have you ever had a time when an unexpected problem turned out to be a positive experience?

I have never had an opportunity present itself because of a problem.  At very best you are able to solve the problem and move ahead as planned. 

@Gettingbettertoday thanks for sharing! when you solve the problem, does a new opportunity or way of looking at things appear? or is it consistent with what you imagined would happen when you solved the problem?