Mr. 8 or Life Obstacle Bets (LOB)
Like many of you, I’ve had to overcome a lot of challenges in life. I used to get frustrated with unexpected problems. Normally, they crop up exactly when I don’t want them to. I have 7 challenges to solve and here comes Mr. 8 jumping the line and requiring that I deal with him now. I say to Mr. 8. “Please go back to your place in line and I’ll get to you next week.” He says, “Nope. I’m here now and I’m not going to let you focus on problems 1 and 2 until you solve me.”
As you all know, we believe the problem is the path. That it is good to have a plan, but ultimately life is too complicated so a better idea is to simply solve the next biggest problem in front of you. Then, as you solve the problem, the path before you unfolds.
That means that solving Mr. 8 is likely the best thing to do even if it feels like a detour from my original plan. Over the years, I’ve stubbornly kept focusing on problems 1 and 2 even when Mr. 8 was bugging me. I have a lot of personal data on this. It yields an okay outcome. I also have data on just listening and solving Mr. 8 that is jumping the line. That data yields a much better outcome.
Ultimately, for me, this comes down to trusting the process of life - the river - rather than trusting myself or my own judgment. I can stubbornly hold to my own stance on things and try to force or control things OR I can trust that there is a reason for me to solve Mr. 8.
What this means for me is I have to have a belief that solving Mr. 8 is going to better help me and those I care for (my family, this community etc.). This is what I’ve come to:
Mr. 8 jumping the line has a personalized, tailored, custom lesson for me that I need to learn for optimal growth for myself and those I love. If I solve that problem (Mr. 8), then it’ll be better for me and those around me.
If I stick to my own perspective, and try to control things, then it’ll be less positive for me and those around me.
The concept of "the problem is the path" suggests embracing these challenges as part of the journey (adaptability).
I have come to think of Mr. 8 as a Life Obstacle Bet (LOB). I’m making the bet that solving Mr. 8 will yield better results than solving problems 1 and 2. If I am right, then fantastic. I better help others and myself. I also get to tell myself I’m making optimal progress. If I am wrong, then I’m not sure it matters all that much as I’m still solving a significant challenge that is calling me to focus on it.
The alternative belief is for me to be frustrated with the sometimes seemingly endless stream of Mr. 8 challenges that keep cutting the line. This results in me feeling irritated and frustrated. I feel like I’m not making the progress I want or need to make and I am in a constant place of playing catch up.
What is the Life Obstacle Bets (LOB) Approach?
The LOB approach reframes unexpected problems (Mr. 8) as opportunities for growth (reframing). You bet that solving Mr. 8 will yield better results than rigidly following the plan you originally had (prioritization and decision making). Even if solving Mr. 8 isn't the "optimal" solution, you're still addressing a significant issue (task management).
The LOB position invites the questions, “Hey, why not just believe that this frustrating problem is actually a disguised opportunity? What if this is a tailored challenge to help me and others grow?” If I am right, then life is easier, and I feel better about my progress. If I am wrong, then it doesn’t really matter in the long-run, and I still get to believe that I am taking the optimal path.
Benefits of the LOB Approach:
Reduces frustration from seemingly endless disruptions (improved decision making).
Encourages viewing challenges as disguised opportunities (positive reframing).
Fosters a sense of progress, even when tackling unexpected hurdles (improved task management).
In conclusion, the "Life Obstacle Bet" (LOB) tackles the frustration of unexpected challenges by reframing them as opportunities for growth. By prioritizing the most pressing issues (urgency and importance), and adapting your plan when necessary, the LOB approach fosters a sense of progress and reduces decision fatigue. This flexible and optimistic mindset allows you to effectively manage tasks, prioritize effectively, and ultimately achieve the best outcomes for yourself and those around you.
Discussion Questions:
Have you ever had a time when an unexpected problem turned out to be a positive experience? Remember, we can often only see this when we connect the dots looking backwards - like “oh that frustrating challenge was actually a key part of me now having this positive experience”. It only makes sense when we reflect. Similarly, when going through an unexpected frustrating time now, we can say “okay this will likely make more sense in the future just like those other times” now when I look back.
What's your biggest challenge with staying organized and managing your tasks?
How do you usually deal with feeling frustrated when things don't go according to plan?
Thank you and mke me feel much better.
I am here if need me and click away.x
That's nice information.
@GlenM
Have you ever had a time when an unexpected problem turned out to be a positive experience? Remember, we can often only see this when we connect the dots looking backwards - like “oh that frustrating challenge was actually a key part of me now having this positive experience”. It only makes sense when we reflect. Similarly, when going through an unexpected frustrating time now, we can say “okay this will likely make more sense in the future just like those other times” now when I look back.
In life, it is impossible to know that something is not right for you without trying that road. It would be nice if there was some oracle that could tell us beforehand if this is going to work out, but there isn't. I do not view the misteps as a waste. I view them as having been necessary to find my true self. I spent nearly an entire decade of my life trying to find an IT job. First, I tried some certifications and then I tried a position at a company and then I tried entrance exams for upgrades and promotions. Through all of this, I realized that IT is just not for me. I started to understand this only because I had gone down this road. Now I know my true calling (something in service, helping others). But, I could not have known with this much clarity if I had not gone down the IT road.What's your biggest challenge with staying organized and managing your tasks?
My learning disabilities give me a little bit of ADHD. Because my brain has a low threshold for information (but at the same time, I cannot sit idle, none of us can), I have to keep switching tasks to keep the levels of information from each task limited and something that my brain can handle. This mimics ADHD and has become something of a pattern. The way that I stay organized and manage my tasks is by making lists and not interrupting my flow or momentum when I am in the zone and by taking a lot of breaks, which my brain needs. Sometimes, music helps me stay focused (therapeutic listening). I also tell myself this quote that I made up to keep going - "You know what to do even when you do not know what to do".
How do you usually deal with feeling frustrated when things don't go according to plan?
I used to get angry at times when things did not go well according to plan. But, over the past few years, I have learned to let go of things because I have realized not to hold on to feelings if they do not help me go forward in life in all aspects. I think environment also matters, when it is a stressful environment, when people around you are overly anxious all the time, and things go really fast; you tend to become very volatile very fast, and also feel under pressure even though there may not be as much pressure as we think there is, it amplifies in our brain, it is too much to take. On the other hand, when you are in a relaxed environment, the same things that stressed you can be attended to, more easily, you will be at ease and things will go smooth even if things do not work out.
@TU100OT
Thank you for sharing.
I can't express in words, but I felt everything you wrote.
It resonated with me.
♡
@PetiteSouris 
@TU100OT thank you for sharing these thoughts! Very helpful! Your response to # 1 reminded me of that Edison quote where he says it isn't that I failed 999 times, it is just that I learned 999 ways of not doing it. I like that sometimes we invest only to find that that isn't the right path and that can be very valuable information.
And I appreciate the self-awareness you share in 2 and 3. I think it is a huge advantage to know how your mind works and how to manage things so that you can optimally take in information and navigate. Nicely done! And the relaxation point is consistent with what @newyorker11 wrote above.
Hello Glen.
Since we have your attention here; could I just say (I told Heather a month ago) that I pray daily for you and Heather and 7Cups, in the name of Jesus Christ, that 7Cups will be a safe habour for the persons coming here.
@GlenM
It's as they say challenges are opportunities for growth, with some challenges bringing more meaning into your life as opposed to reward. It's not always about the external, wealth can flourish within the heart with understandings in life.
@amicableox0685
Friend - I like very much your sentence: "wealth can flourish within the heart with understandings in life." I want a lot of that wealth!
@Helgafy
Thank you.
@GlenM
I like the principle of learning how to take life upsets in your stride. **** happens and getting frustrated when plans go awry for Mr 8 can be counter productive.
But this made me wonder, should I not plan, then? And I conclude that life is a balance. Its good to have long term goals/plans. And to make the day to day stuff wait a little, to make time for those goals. But also to accept that those goals aren't harmed by some times having to wait a little for Mr 8.
@Clio9876 I think you got it! I was trying to find this quote on planning - like it is necessary, but we shouldn't hold the plans too tightly. Here is one from Eisenhower that kind of gets at it: "Plans are nothing; planning is everything." I think we have our plan, and we know where we are going, but we stay flexible in how we get there. We understand that it is impossible to predict how things will unfold and we trust the basic process.
@GlenM
" have a plan but stay flexible in how we get there"
I like that.
@GlenM
Yes...sort of.
I consider the LOB like all other approaches to life: it can work if done well but it will never work 100% of the time. In my experience no strategy or tactic does, however effective &/or intelligent it may be...or to put it another way, it'll work until you get into a situation where it doesn't.
Maybe one should "trust the river" more than one's own judgment much or most of the time. That may be wise. But in certain scenarios, if you stray from your plan you will be making a dumb move & leaving an opening for Murphy to work his foul sorcery.* Often it comes down to how well you designed your plan to begin with. While it's true that no one can anticipate every possible contingency, you can figure out the most likely contingencies & incorporate those into your plan.
@slowdecline48 great points and agree! I think it is smart to do a, b, and z planning. from here
- Plan A is what you’re doing right now. It’s your current implementation of your competitive advantage. Within a Plan A you make minor adjustments as you learn, and iterate regularly.
- Plan B is what you pivot to when you need to change either your goal or the route for getting there — sometimes because Plan A isn’t working; sometimes because you’ve discovered a better opportunity; sometimes because you just change.
- Plan Z is the fallback position: your lifeboat if you end up being thrown into rough waters. It is the plan if all your other plans fall apart. The certainty of Plan Z is what allows you to take on uncertainty and risk in your Plans A and B.
@GlenM That's a good approach. It reminds me of a maxim I heard from a Vietnam veteran once: "no plan survives the first contact intact." 😏 Unfortunately that link is behind a membership wall...otherwise I'd read whatever the author there has to say.
A "plan Z" is certainly important to have....it beats going from Plan A to Plan B to Plan O S***.
Also - my biggest problem in handling my affairs is lack of focus. This is especially true when I'm doing something complicated that involves creative effort. My talents go in a few different directions, but I don't say that to brag. The more things you can do competently or well, the easier it is to lose sight of the end goal.
@slowdecline48 is the complicated task more challenging because it has multiple steps?
@GlenM No, that's not what I said.
@GlenM
Have you ever had a time when an unexpected problem turned out to be a positive experience?
I have never had an opportunity present itself because of a problem. At very best you are able to solve the problem and move ahead as planned.
@Gettingbettertoday thanks for sharing! when you solve the problem, does a new opportunity or way of looking at things appear? or is it consistent with what you imagined would happen when you solved the problem?
@GlenM
I have not had an opportunity pop us as a result of fixing a problem. If the opportunity was not there before the problem it was not there afterwards. The only new thoughts that emerge as a result are those needed to solve the problem. Unless i have another like problem to solve these thoughts offer me nothing.
To oversimplify lets say i have rented a space to have a conference but the key is not working. After fiddling with it for a bit (I have left my picks at home) I realize to open the lock you must turn the key first to left then to the right. I have learned something but not something useful since it is only applicable in one special circumstance.
I am still trying to think of a scenario were a negative turns into a positive.
@Gettingbettertoday one possibility would be that you learned that sometimes things don't go right and you have to do some fiddling to fix. The key is the specific example here, but the process applies to other challenges. And maybe getting there a little early helps and perhaps staying calm when trying different things too?
@GlenM This is a very good way with dealing with situations / unexpected challenges you may come across.
My challenge though is feeling things getting wasted. In my past I went through gaming addiction (it became an addiction much later initially I used to love it and was good at it), learnt accounting (through undergrad), did a postgrad Management degree, spent 17+ years running a logistics business but today having gained all of this I am drawing a blank in life. I am struggling to use those years and apply that knowledge, effort spent earlier into something meaningful with the idea I don’t feel those times have been forgone. Every moment I spend I am scared I will waste it away. So I cling on to the smallest of endeavours. At every step in the past I have tried to create value from whatever I did - make something out of it but today there is no connecting dots visible
Coming to the LOB, yes definitely we work towards it and can make the best of it but in the greater scheme of things it makes me wonder without a concrete plan detouring your way out of life’s precious years is that the wisest of approaches?
Don't you think restructuring your original plan in life and deviating to the bare minimum makes more sense, creates more value, brings more meaning
@sensitiveme00 the bare minimum... like one tiny thing at a time?
By that I mean overcoming to the challenge without disturbing your original plan
@sensitiveme00 One thing that I like to think about is all the ways experiences and opportunities in the past transform us into who we are today. Like they are compounding lessons that shape our perspective on things, character, and perseverance. Even though there might not be an immediate next step that bridges your career trajectory, I would imagine that all of those experiences and things you have overcome are a part of the fabric that makes you - you.
Someone above brought up the importance of planning and it is a great point. I should clarify. I'm saying plan away, planning is good, but just hold it lightly because life will likely take us in directions that are not on our plan. The other part of it is looking backwards and connecting the dots. I can do that now and see a narrative or story that unfolds through twists and turns in my life. I couldn't do it at the time, especially for things that seem way off the beaten path, but then, somehow, they end up being important places to visit when I look back from the present.
And in terms of having a pause or blank, I think that is okay too! Sometimes I think we need a little space to let things unfold. It can be uncomfortable because the suggestion can be that life is linear and we are supposed to know the next step in front of us. And the reality of a blank counters that myth. I have felt that too, but then, eventually, direction surfaces and I find the path again. Wishing you peace during this time of searching ✨
Thank you Glen. I think this is the time I would like to say 7 Cups and your journey has been truly inspiring. Your reply made my day ☺️
i only started making to do lists recently but recently i haven't been making any... and i really need structure but i can't seem to find it. i wish i knew what the end of my goals was