Mr. 8 or Life Obstacle Bets (LOB)

@GlenM

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Glen. Your analogy with Mr. 8 resonates deeply. Life's unexpected challenges often seem inconvenient, but your perspective on solving the most pressing issue first is enlightening again thankyou so much for sharing...

And.....For me, when things don't go according to plan and I feel frustrated, I let the waves of frustration wash over me like the rain. I breathe deeply, grounding myself in the moment. I see each obstacle as a lesson, a step on my journey. Breaking down the problem into smaller pieces helps me navigate the storm anddd The most important, when I think about nothing get wrong and I keep telling that thing to my mind....it Also helps me alotttt. I usually do things alone because when it comes to problem solving I am good at solving problems on my own rather than asking others....but sometimes I take help of friends for support. And By staying flexible and adapting, I find new paths to follow. Taking time for self-care, like walking barefoot on the earth, reconnects me with my inner calm, allowing me to move forward with renewed strength.

Also, yes, I once had an unexpected problem turn out positive onc. I had a big school project go wrong, and my entire grade depended on it. With the deadline so close, it felt like the end of the world. I started freaking out, but then I told myself to calm down. I just thought like nothing had happened, and thats how I solve my problems and it's always helped me think clearly about solving the problems. So, I decided to talk to some of my classmates, even though I usually didn't because I was new at the school and didn't want to make friends cause I was there for a very short time. But, still I reached out to a girl and explained my situation and all. She helped me by giving suggestions on what to change and do. Thanks to her help, I managed to turn things around and i got good gardes!!!!!!!!!! This experience pushed me to connect with others and build new friendships and that friendship was amazinggggggg I got the best friend in that school...... Looking back, that setback was a turning point that taught me the value of collaboration and staying calm under pressure. Now, when things go wrong, I remind myself that these moments often bring hidden opportunities and lessons, just like before.

@GlenM

This is an important topic. Thank you for covering it.  I think it's one of those things where our feelings get the best of us and we find it hard to stick to logic. Logically obstacle is the way, problem is the path but what an emotionally draining process!

I don't recall specific problems turning positive but I can recall a few times when things did not go as wrong as I thought they would. It feels silly when you look back at how frustrated you got and how it worked out after all. Perhaps we are too quick to judge and jump to conclusions. Sometimes we brace for impact and it turns out there was no crash after all. 

I have found one way to manage life when it gets rough is to just focus on the task at hand. Just the next step and not bother too much with what will come after and how many remain! I have found that I was almost always never worried about the step at hand, it was the many challenging ones that came after that weighed me down emotionally. “I can't see a way through," said the boy. "Can you see your next step?" "Yes." "Just take that," said the horse.”

― Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse

Few more thoughts for fellow worry warriors

1. Live life in day-tight compartments

2. A wise man accepts his suffering, endures it but does not add to it - Marcus Aurelius 

3. I’ve suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.― Mark Twain

Resources I recommend for further reading

• Book - Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday
• Book - How to stop worrying and start living by Dale Carnegie 

@GlenM

@GlenM ok so for me the challenges I have are mostly mental health issues and physical health. No.8 well that is one that comes up this month, I generally spiral into deep depression, but I've been not ignoring my feelings and getting support from my friend s here, so addressing no.8 properly this year, I'm doing well. But on Tuesday it's my sons 13 th birthday, he's a angel in heaven now ❤ honestly not sure how I'm going to get through the next few days.

Adressing no.8 and doing so much better with it than the previous few years, has made me think that maybe if I stop trying to forget number 1,'2, or 3 actual exists and try to work thtough, then may be my path will start unfolding to

I got a long way to go, I don't know how others get through it. Shame, guilt, grief , depression, constant physical pain, double amputee, yep! Life sucks right now😥 but thank God and glen I have 7 cups, it's my life line so thankyou ❤❤

@GlenM

Hi Glen! 😊 ❤️ Many thanks for this fantastic forum post! For me, there is so much to love here and all of this highly resonates with me! 

I really enjoy the way in which you wrote this! It's valuable to see the high level of optimism right along side and balanced with the strong streak of realism. Both can co-exist and it's nice that you presented things in that way. I enjoyed the humor that added a bit of levity as well as your vulnerability here with us all. Both pulled me in even more and made me want to continue reading. Trust, I'm so in the zone, me too! *high fives* 😊

So many things came to mind as I read through :

"Life is what happens to us when we are planning to do other things". 

"Want to make God laugh? Make a plan". 

An additional thing that came to mind is one of the teachings of Mark Manson. I really enjoyed reading his thoughts about that many times we might not be solving problems. Everything in life is kind of a trade off, that we are simply trading one problem for another. Sometimes it's a choice of the lesser evil?

As an aside, this makes complete sense to me even when considering Newtons third law of motion. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. 

I don't see the above things as negative at all, but instead, with acceptance comes peace. I didn't invite the dreaded Mr. 8 to my party, but darn if he doesn't find a way of showing up, lol 😊! Mr. 8 exists and knowing this ahead of time helps me to control the controllables and do my best to mitigate his impact. 

Have you ever had a time when an unexpected problem turned out to be a positive experience?

Absolutely! While it may not have felt great to go through it, there was something to learn along the way. Many moments will be incredibly painful for us as humans. I am stronger now because of it, there was something to learn, maybe a bit of character building? If it was incredibly hard I have something to compare current situations to. If I got through that then I will get through this also. One can also can use their hindsight to help others along the way. This can give purpose to pain. It wasn't all in vain if you take the "unnecessary suffering" and use it to help and support others (wounded healer).

Even if I think that there was nothing at all, nothing to learn from a negative experience, at the minimum.....I learned how NOT to treat people as I know first hand how bad it feels. Always better, never bitter! This is winning!

What's your biggest challenge with staying organized and managing your tasks?

Mr. 8, lol 😊 While Mr. 8 is quite nefarious, I plan my work and work my plan. I have short term goals, long term goals and try to be forward thinking and always trying to see the bigger picture in an effort to "head him off at the pass". I try to get things done ahead of time and leave some wiggle room in my day to address putting out fires 🔥 if the dreaded Mr. 8 decides to rear his ugly head. For other things (long term), I still know if Mr. 8 is there, slow and steady wins the race. Some things have a way of clearing themselves up in due time or with patience and proper planning, there could be impact in that way too.

How do you usually deal with feeling frustrated when things don't go according to plan?

I allow myself to feel frustrated, disappointed, what ever it may be. I sit in the space and truly feel it all. No reason to run or hide from those feelings/emotions as they know where I live and they will find me eventually. I'd rather do my best to deal with it and get on with it at the first chance I get. Again, with acceptance comes peace. Many times, I'll take my hands off the wheel, leave it alone for a bit, sleep on it as tomorrow is a new day. Sometimes it's better for me to address the issue the next day with a clear head and a more productive mindset.

Thanks again for this forum post. I enjoyed being a part of it all!

*high fives* 😊 and *hugs* ❤️

@GlenM

Glenn,

8 = infinity sideways

Einstein famously wrote that time is an illusion.

Abhijit Naskar, the author of “Love, God & Neurons: Memoir of a scientist who found himself by getting lost,” wrote, “Time is basically an illusion created by the mind to aid in our sense of temporal presence in the vast ocean of space. Without the neurons to create a virtual perception of the past and the future based on all our experiences, there is no actual existence of the past and the future. All that there is, is the present.”

Alan Watts said, “The same attitude of relaxed gentleness [practiced in judo] is most beautifully seen when you watch cats climbing trees. When a cat falls out of a tree, it lets go of itself. The cat becomes completely relaxed, and lands lightly on the ground. But if a cat were about to fall out of a tree and suddenly made up its mind that it didn't want to fall, it would become tense and rigid, and would be just a bag of broken bones upon landing.

“In the same way, it is the philosophy of the Tao that we are all falling off a tree, at every moment of our lives. As a matter of fact, the moment we were born we were kicked off a precipice and we are falling, and there is nothing that can stop it. So instead of living in a state of chronic tension and clinging to all sorts of things that are falling with us because the whole world is impermanent, be like a cat. Don't resist it.”

Problem ∞ is the problem we are compelled to solve now.

In the infinite space of “now,” my Problem ∞ is to complete my latest book.

Love and Courage,

Rose

Thank you @GlenM for this insightful post 💓

Yes, I experienced the same. I believe that, challenges are opportunities to grow, and we need to learn from our life. They bring us the paths which will lead us closer to our destiny. That's what I believe as of now 

I think as of now, the biggest challenges I face are predicting unforeseen events and managing multiple priorities. Sometimes, things don't go as we expect, and that will lead to delaying or missing out on the remaining tasks. But I think I am improving everyday. In my case, I approached the situation by being flexible rather than being on a strict schedule, by considering the possible situations. I know I am not at my best right now, but I am managing my tasks and staying organized.

At present, I take a few minutes to think about my plans and considerations to understand why that particular plan failed. Sometimes, Its difficult so I take a short break, look at that failure as a path to success. I try to improve my next plan by considering the factors that led to the previous plan's failure. Life is all about trials and I think they will help us gain experiences.

@GlenM

@GlenM  thank you so much for this informative post regarding the LOB (Life Obstacle Bets) Theory, and i think that all people from all walks of life can relate to this community post!

Discussion Questions:

1. Have you ever had a time when an unexpected problem turned out to be a positive experience? Remember, we can often only see this when we connect the dots looking backwards - like “oh that frustrating challenge was actually a key part of me now having this positive experience”. It only makes sense when we reflect. Similarly, when going through an unexpected frustrating time now, we can say “okay this will likely make more sense in the future just like those other times” now when I look back.

   one particular time when a frustrating challenge turned out to be a positive experience was in my first semester of University, right out of graduating from High School at the age of 17. i was attending on a half scholarship, and after one semester of classes, i did not make the grades to keep my scholarship. as soon as a few months later, i landed a job as a junior accounting executive with a very prestigious banking company. so, i think that sticking it out all that time turned something that was negative into positivity!

2. What's your biggest challenge with staying organized and managing your tasks?

   my biggest challenge with staying organized and managing my tasks is making sure that i achieve my month to month financial goals - i think in this aspect of my life, the passing of time has taught me to do this better...

3. How do you usually deal with feeling frustrated when things don't go according to plan?

   when i feel frustrated because something doesn't go according to plans, i usually try dealing with it by doing something that makes me happy or helps me to relax, like playing video games and/or listening to music!

@GlenM Thank you for writing this timely piece of information. I love reading, your posts.  I love how you, give us food for thought as well. You're an amazing teacher, psychologist, writer and an all around great person.